Awake (20 page)

Dash has also been on my mind. How he even exists and how he was able to communicate with Reed and me is a complete mystery. Maybe Dash helped Reed reach out to me when he was in the dungeons of the unseelie court.
I know there has to be a reason, but I cannot figure out what it is.

Damien is also an issue: I want his blood. I will never be able to forgive him for all he has done to me and to the seelie court. I will never forget the look of pure hatred in his eyes when he sent the unseelie court guards after us.

And there is my relationship with Reed. I know my feelings for him are growing, and this is so new to me I did not know what to do. He assured me there had been nothing romantic between him and Rho, which makes me feel a little better. I would have never been able to explore my feelings for him otherwise.

But the one problem consuming most of my thoughts as I finally drift off to sleep is the coronation tomorrow. How am I going to get through that?

Now I lay in bed, eyes still closed from a short nap, listening. I spent the better part of the day, as I did yesterday, taking out my frustrations in the training room until I wore myself out. By the end of each day, I had accomplished my goal of not thinking about anything.

The commotion out in the halls is constant and loud. Everyone is preparing for the coronation ceremony tonight. The fae of the seelie court are all anticipating the first celebration they have seen since before I was taken from them. The thought turns my emotions to guilt. Here I am, resenting them for getting on with their lives and holding a celebration when I am still grieving the loss of Rho. But the truth is they need this. They have been grieving the loss of their princess for years. Taking a deep breath, I finally open my eyes. It is time I begin to act like a princess. In doing so, I must push my own needs aside and do what is best for my court.

As I am pushing the covers aside and turning my legs to get out of bed, there is a tentative knock at the door. I know instantly it is Willow, come to help me prepare for the big day.

“Come in.”

The door creaks slowly open, and Willow pops her head through the narrow crack. “How are you feeling?” I can hear the true concern in her voice, causing guilt to sweep through me once again at the grief I am causing my friends.

“I am much better, actually. Come in.” I gesture with my hand for her to enter the room. She does so and closes the door quickly behind her before moving hesitantly toward me, unsure of her place.

I smile patiently at her, because this has all been difficult for her as well. Our friendship has grown very strong, and I am aware she has been concerned for me. I pat the bed beside me. Her shoulders slump a bit as she takes a relieved breath and sits. She takes my hand in hers and squeezes. “Is there anything I can do for you, Poppy?”

“No, I am truly better. Thank you, though. I am not overly excited about the day before me, but I know it must be done. I will do it as a princess should. I will grieve Rho…” My voice hitches, and I take a moment to gather my thoughts before continuing, “I will grieve Rho for a very long time, but the others should not suffer because of me.”

“That's noble of you, Poppy, but we all understand what's happened and what you're going through. It's okay to grieve, and it's okay for others to see it. We are your court, and we are your friends. We'll help you through this.”

I appreciate the thoughtfulness of her words, and I know they are true, but it is high time I get out of my funk. I paste a smile on my face and push all of those thoughts down once again. “I guess it is time I become a princess.”

Willow studies me for a moment longer, but when I give nothing away she sighs as well before standing up. “All right,
Princess
, let's get started.” There is a glimmer in her eyes now, and I do not think I like it. She is going to enjoy this way too much.

Shaking my head, I let out a long-suffering sigh, which makes Willow laugh. I smile at the sound and follow her to the sitting table and mirror in the corner of my room. This is an area of the room I had not yet spent much time in. To be honest, I found it quite intimidating. My grooming process has been more out of necessity than out of vanity. I bathe, brush my hair, and twist it into a braid. My clothes are meant for battle and comfort, so I have never spent much time on them. So to spend time sitting in front of a mirror, twisting my hair into intricate knots and designs, and painting my face with unnatural color scares me a little. Willow, however, is not intimidated at all. She appears excited and completely comfortable with all of the items laid out on the table. I stand there staring in horror at all of the unknown things.

She laughs again and pulls out the chair. “Sit down, Poppy. I promise nothing will hurt you.”

I nod my head as I reluctantly sit in the chair and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Willow moves
gracefully behind and beside me, pulling things from drawers and from other places in the room and places them in front of me on the table. I watch for a few minutes, completely lost. All of these things are foreign to me. Instead of trying to figure them out, I turn my focus to the image staring back at me instead. My long hair is in its usual dark braid, the red streaks bright in the light. My skin is flawless and soft, with a natural glow.

Willow finally stops gathering objects and comes to stand behind me. She gazes at me through the mirror and noticed my distress once again. “Don't worry, Poppy. Trust me,” she says as she places one hand on my shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly.

“Okay. If you insist,” I say almost painfully.

She lets out a delicate giggle and squeezes my shoulder once more before lifting her hands to my braid. “I do insist. I promise you'll be happy when I'm finished.”

“I sure hope so,” I huff and turn my attention to the mirror to watch her progress. Willow unbraids my hair and brushes it so it is silky and shiny, hanging loose around my shoulders. Then she turns me in my chair so I can no longer view myself. I try to turn back, but she stops me. “I'll show you when I'm done, but I want it to be a surprise.”

I huff once again, but do not argue. Her eyes are glowing with excitement, and I cannot bear to hurt her feelings. We all have been through so much, and this simple task is making her happy. “Okay, but promise me you will not make me look unnatural. I do not wish to look like one of those girls from the human world, with all that paint and stuff.” I shiver at the thought.

She laughs once again, and I narrow my eyes at her in mock anger. “Makeup,” she corrects me.

"I know what it is called, but I still think it more like paint."

“Well, it is
not
paint, it is makeup and the humans are not the only ones who use it. A lot of the fae do as well. Like Holly."

“Oh I know Holly uses it," I say remembering when I told her how ugly she looked when Reed and I captured her in the human world. "But why do they do this again?” I am still completely baffled. Why they would want to change their appearance in such a way is beyond me.

“You'll see.”

I start to protest, but she stops me with a raised hand and an arched eyebrow.

“You said you would trust me.”

“Okay. You are right, and I do. Let's get this over with.” I give a decisive nod of my head, more for my sake than hers, and try to relax. I sit in my chair, facing away from the mirror, and try not to think too hard about what Willow is doing to me. There is tugging and brushing at my hair before it hits my waist as she lets it fall loosely. She finally finishes and begins on my face. I tense up once again, but forcibly relax at her reassurance and insistence. Gathering all kinds of unidentifiable objects from the table, she begins to apply them to my face with brushes in different shapes and sizes. Although I'm worried about my appearance, I do feel a small amount of relief about the fact the makeup is not heavy or constricting.

Finally, Willow finishes. I was so distracted trying to figure out what she was doing and imagining what I would look like, I completely lost track of time and, with it, all of the depressing thoughts of the past few days. If nothing else positive comes from this coronation, the small reprieve was worth it. Willow touches my shoulder, and I glance up at her from my chair. She peers over my face and hair one last time before she smiles approvingly.

“Will I be presentable?” My voice is soft and tentative.

“Oh yes. You will be more than presentable. Once we get your dress on you, you will look like the princess you are, Poppy. You look beautiful. I think you will be very happy.”

“Good. Let me see.” I begin to turn to the mirror but am stopped once again.

“Oh no, you don't. You must wait until you're dressed so you can get the whole effect.”

“But…”

“No. I will be right back with your dress. Promise me you won't peek.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Now promise me.” She crosses her arms over her chest and begins to tap her foot, waiting for my promise.

I throw my hands in the air in exasperation but cannot help the smile spreading across my face at her determination. “I promise. Now hurry.”

“I'll be right back. Don't move.” She fixes me with one last commanding stare before hurrying from the room.

I find myself tempted for the first time in my life to break a promise. My curiosity about my appearance is getting the best of me. But even though I know there would be no dire consequences to breaking my promise, I cannot do it. Never have I ever broken a vow, and I definitely do not intend to do so now, especially a promise made to a friend.

Thankfully Willow returns quickly. When she enters the room, my thoughts all come to a complete halt. The dress she is holding in her hands has swept away everything else from my mind.

The dress is strapless, a deep red that sparkles and glows when the light hits the material just right because black and red jewels cover the bodice. The jewels stop at the empire waistline, below which are layers and layers of soft chiffon fabric flowing to the ground. And on them are the small red and black jewels like those on the bodice, strategically placed to add elegance to the dress. I can tell without even putting it on how well the style will suit my body. Not only is the dress exquisite, but my fae instincts tell me there is more to the dress than meets the eye and once I put it on I will find other wonderful surprises. I cannot believe I am actually eager to try a dress on.

Willow must sense this, because she places the dress in my hands and gives me a gentle shove in the direction of the washroom, effectively snapping me from my perusal of the garment. I grab the dress and rush to change without uttering a single word.

After I am dressed, I take a moment to enjoy the softness of the cool fabric against my skin. The material is the softest silk and most comfortable cotton all in one. Running my hands over the bodice, I feel the texture of all the tiny jewels, and I smooth them down the waist and sides, lifting and fluffing the soft layers of fabric. A small surprise makes me gasp and smile.
My mother has thought of everything
, I think as I grab my daggers and strap the sheaths onto my thighs through an opening hidden beneath all of the billowy fabric. Shaking my head at the idea of having room for my weapons, I finally exit the room and present myself to Willow.

“Oh!” Willow's hand flies to her mouth as she stares at me.

“What?” I begin to nervously pat my dress down and begin to raise my hands to my face and hair, worried I messed something up, but Willow rushes to stop me.

“No, don't touch!” She grabs my hands and leads me back over to the dressing table. “I'm sorry. You look so beautiful, Poppy. You truly look like a princess.”

“I would not know,” I say sarcastically before I can stop myself. Then I cringe and apologize.

Willow laughs. “It's okay. I understand. Just give me one more minute.”

Before she will allow me to see myself, she makes a few adjustments to my hair and dress and instructs me to close my eyes. I huff about this as well, but I do it. She leads me to the tall full-body mirror alongside the dressing table. Once she turns my body so I'll be able to get the full effect when I open my eyes, she says, “Okay. Open them when you're ready.”

Taking one final deep breath, I do as she says. My eyes dart everywhere, trying to take everything in with one sweep. I take in every detail of my hair, face, and dress. After what must have been several minutes, Willow clears her throat to draw my attention. I am reluctant to take my eyes from my reflection, but I do. When our eyes meet, I catch the nervousness in hers but still cannot find words.

I am beautiful.

I know all fae are pretty, but this is different. The makeup Willow has applied is perfect. My cheeks hold a small amount of pink on them, which softens the paleness of my skin and adds a light blush to my cheeks. She has painted my eyes with a thin line of black around the top and bottom of my eyelids, and there is a substance on my eyelashes making them appear longer and thicker. There are also several different shades of red on my eyelids, done in a way that makes the color appear to fade from light to dark. The red color along with the black paint makes my eyes appear slightly larger and brighter. They seem to glow with beauty.

This brings a smile to my face, effectively drawing my attention to my lips. Willow has painted them with a shade of red not too dark and not too light. It is just the right shade of red to bring everything together perfectly and also makes them appear fuller, highlighting the whiteness of my teeth. All of my features are softer and less fierce. I have an ethereal glow that is brighter and more beautiful than before, but still soft and understated. I did not think it was possible.

“Thank you, Willow,” I breathe out softly, not even sure if she can hear me, but for some reason I am unable to raise my voice above a whisper. “I really do look like a princess.”

“Yes, you do. You will make us all so proud, Poppy.” There is a hitch in her voice, and this finally draws my full attention back to her.

“What is the matter? You did a wonderful job. The queen will be so proud.”