Avoiding Responsibility (33 page)

"Well everyone's heading out and I thought you would want to say goodbye," he said finally meeting her sweet brown eyes.

"I would. Thanks for coming to get me," she said walking past him and through the door. Brandon followed in behind her smirking at Ramsey as he walked past. Lexi said good-bye to the crowd and watched as most of them drunkenly stumbled out of the apartment. Brad and Jason had disappeared with their dates upstairs, and Lexi hoped that she didn't hear from them the rest of the night.

Chyna walked up to her and gave her a hug. "Congrats girl! We're going to head back to our hotel now," Chyna said with a wink.

Lexi shook her head, but couldn't help but laugh. She had the same thing in mind as soon as everyone else evacuated the premises. "Have fun. You'll be here tomorrow?" she asked hopefully.

"Nah we're going to take the early flight back to New York. He has work in the afternoon, and I have to start packing for Milan," she told her excitement evident in her voice.

"Oh come on Chyna you know you're not going to do any packing."

Chyna just shrugged. "You know me too well."

"I'm going to miss you," Lexi said wrapping her up in another hug. "Let me know you're safe."

"Will do chica," Chyna said kissing her cheek and stepping back. Adam gave Lexi a quick hug. "Take care."

"I will. Bye," she said watching the last guests disappear.

She sighed pleasantly at the quiet that took over the apartment. Turning around she looked for Ramsey, but realized that he must have disappeared upstairs while she had been talking with Chyna. She hadn't even realized it.

"Hey you," she said walking into his bedroom. "What are you doing up here?"

"Just giving you sometime to say goodbye," he said turning around to face her.

Lexi saw the same tension in his shoulders as when he had walked outside and found her talking with Brandon. She knew that he must be dwelling on it, and she didn't want him to feel like that. There was absolutely nothing between her and Brandon.

"Ramsey, you know I'm yours right," she said quietly after a minute of silence.

"Of course," he said reaching out for her and pulling her into his chest.

"I just…I just don't want you to feel like you have anything to worry about," she continued on. "You know my past, but that's all it is…the past." The last words were almost just a breath as she got them out.

"I know Lexi. I know," he said stroking her long brown hair.

"I'm serious, Ramsey," she said a bit more forceful as she pushed back to stare up into his green eyes.

"I know you are sweetheart," he said leaning down and brushing his lips against her. "And my uneasiness doesn't originate from you."

"So are you going to tell me what happened between you two?" she asked studying him carefully.

"Look that stuff doesn't matter. He's just…not a good person," he said carefully.

"I've heard the same thing about you before," she reminded him.

"This is different."

"How?" she asked unable to see a clear distinction.

"I'm not actually a bad guy and he is," he said as if it were obvious.

"I can't see that."

"That's because you don't really know him yet. And you shouldn't get to know him," he warned. "Lexi please tell me you won't keep talking to him."

"No Ramsey. I'm not going to do that," she said firmly. "You have nothing to worry about from Brandon. Whatever happened is in the past, and I don't want you to think that there is any reason to hide me from the world."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," he said quickly. "You just don't know what he's capable of."

"Well tell me," she said exasperated.

"Look it doesn't matter," he said shaking it off. "You are what matters. I know Brandon and the way he operates. He'll do anything to get close and that means you. Please promise to stay away from him?"

"I already told you that I'm not going to do that. I'll be extra careful around him, but it's not the end of the world. Just promise me you won't get angry with me," she begged.

He sighed heavily and dropped his head to her tiny shoulder. "You make things so difficult," he complained.

"You're the one imposing rules for who I can hang out with," she said sharply…a little sharper than she had even anticipated.

"You're right," he said straightening. "Of course you're right. I have my reservations, but they are my own. You're free to see whoever you want. But if he lays one hand on you or says one thing out of line," he warned, "you let me know."

Lexi nodded solemnly and hoped that she would never have to take him up on the offer.

K.A. Linde

I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kind of boring

Need something that i can confess

- One Republic "Secrets"

Chapter 17:
Present

Rage Bar after midnight was everything she remembered Chamber to be from college. The new owners hadn't changed a single thing other than the name. Several bartenders worked the massive bar that stretched the length of the room. The medium-sized rectangular room was divided in two by sliding glass doors keeping the dance space and the more secluded lounge area separate. A raised platform designed in an L-shape was constructed against one wall in the dance hall so girls could show off their moves and easily be seen across the room. Large security guards now wore bright orange Rage polos and were stationed in precarious locations around the room.

The patrons never aged at this establishment. It was the same group of eighteen to twenty-one year olds sneaking in with fake IDs. She knew twenty-four wasn't old by any stretch of the imagination, but she might as well have been seventy with how old she felt at this bar. She smoothed out the ridiculous outfit Bekah had given them and tried to remember what it felt like to be nineteen.

She had danced her heart out on that stage more nights than she could count. She could remember the adrenaline of hanging out with your closest friends and the thrill of dancing with total strangers that you thought you would never see again. The town was too small for that though and she always ended up seeing the people she had drunkenly danced upon in her class or out for coffee later in the week.

New York was nothing like that. If she never wanted to see someone again, then she never had to see them again. Sure some of the guys circulated the same bars more than others. She could pick out the regulars, but the clubs were so large that they were easy to avoid if need be.

She remembered getting free drinks because she knew the bartenders. She made friends with a lot of them. Some were in her classes and others she just knew because she frequented the establishment a bit too regularly as an undergrad. The free drinks were given to her also because of the people she hung around with. Her friends from the gymnastics team could drink surprisingly more liquor than most of the people she had met in her life. Even though she had only set foot on the mat at one meet and it was only for exhibition, everyone still considered her part of the team. She had a stack full of team paraphernalia in her closet to prove it. She had been nineteen when she joined the team. Jack had gotten her that spot. She hadn't thought about that fact in a long time. Suddenly nineteen felt too young.

When she had been nineteen she had fallen into his trap. She had fallen in love with him. She hadn't been disillusioned by his inability to commit to her or his philandering behavior. But she couldn't think about going back in time like that. She wouldn't be the person she was today if she hadn't experienced what she had gone through with Jack. And though the things they had done together were wrong…terribly wrong, she knew that if she relived them that she wouldn't have been able to change a thing. And so she lived with her decisions and moved on.

She sighed realizing that whole train of thought had made her feel very far from nineteen.

With that she followed the rest of the drunken entourage to the bar. Lexi was feeling the booze in her system, but she wasn't gone just yet. She knew that it was important to try to maintain some semblance of sobriety tonight. Otherwise she couldn't guarantee that she would be able to hold back any snide comments. Bekah put her on edge and when she had her three stooges with her it was just a recipe for disaster. Lexi had survived this far with only one misstep with the phone call and she wanted to keep it that way. After this night she would just have the wedding to get through and then she could put this all behind her.

The rest of the group had no reason to want to remain sober for the night. They had all delved in as quickly as possible, and were having more trouble functioning as the night progressed. By the time they had hit Rage Bar, Kersey was having trouble with coherent sentences. Though somehow, she had found a way to flirt with every guy who walked past her. She was already clinging to a fraternity type standing against the bar. He looked like he had just won the lottery with the way she was fawning over him. Apparently her prudish composure washed away as the alcohol she consumed increased. Her breasts were spilling out of the low cut shirt Bekah had insisted they wear and her skirt had bunched up to the point where her ass was nearly hanging out. The guys arm had circled around her waist and was resting lower and lower on her pleated mini skirt. She hadn't even seemed to notice.

Maddie and Amber had fallen into fits of giggles over absolutely nothing. Or at least if they were actually laughing at something Lexi had been unable to discern where the conversation started and the laughter began. They had been holding onto each other for life support for quite some time. It seemed that they didn't even care that they were striking out with the guys who were attempting to hit on them. Every time someone ventured closer to them, one of the girls would say something nonsensical to the other, and the giggles would start up all over again. The guys would quickly back away, and the two girls were left with each other.

Bekah was wobbling dangerously on her outrageously high heels. Lexi honestly couldn't even believe she was standing at all. She had restored to telling every person should could speak to in every bar that she was getting married. She wasn't always discreet about it either. The past couple bars she had just barged in and flat out yelled her upcoming marriage to the nearest group of people. This always resulted in a round of shots from whoever chose to listen to her.

Listening to Bekah declare over and over her impending nuptials was grating to say the least. So on one hand she had wanted to get drunk to avoid having to care about Bekah's blatant enthusiasm. Yet, she had held onto composure and had ducked out of a handful of drinks that the crowd had attempted to force on her. She hadn't been able to avoid a few though due to the sheer fact that she couldn't hide from them. She was wearing the exact same outfit as three other people. She was too noticeable when she just wanted to disappear. And the very last thing she wanted to do was to get out of control tonight even if she had to listen to Bekah's cheers.

Just as Lexi expected as soon as they approached the bar, Bekah began announcing to the closest groups of people that this was one of her last nights as a single woman. Several of the guys in the area cheered and told her they were buying her a round of shots. Lexi noticed a few sexual gestures that were made in Bekah's direction. One fratty type explained rather graphically what exactly he would do to her before her wedding night. Lexi gagged at the profanity and tried to block the images from her mind. She couldn't believe how grotesque some people could be. It probably didn't help that Bekah was one of the last people she wanted to think about anyone having sex with. So when a shot was pushed into her hand, she didn't think twice before downing it as fast as she could. And as soon as it hit the pit of her stomach, she regretted it.

Tequila. That one drink was too much. It pushed her over the edge from tipsy to full out drunk. She could feel it from head to toe. Her head was suddenly heavy and she felt as if she were swimming. Her throat was on fire. How many drinks had she had? Three? Or had it been four? No, this might have been five. Shit. She honestly couldn't remember which was even worse for the feeling creeping over her body. Her stomach was doing cartwheels, and she suddenly wasn't sure if she was going to be able to keep that shot down. She scrambled for a lime to chase the drink down. That taste of the lime alleviated the burn down her throat and in turn the nausea that had come over her. However, it did nothing to keep her from feeling like she had lost all control.

With her mind frazzled from the alcohol coursing through her system, it was a lot easier to feel young again. It also helped her to not care who she was with or what she was doing. This she knew was the most dangerous feeling of all.

"So where are we on our list?" Bekah asked sliding her shot glass back across the bar. She pulled on Maddie's arm to steal her away from another giggle fest with Amber. Maddie's expression glazed over as she realized that Bekah had been talking to her. She stumbled forward a step before grabbing Bekah's arm and staring deeply into her face.

"Whattttt?" Maddie asked clearly not having been paying attention.

"The list. Where the fuck are we?" Bekah snapped sharply. Apparently even drunk she was bitchy.

"The list. The list," Maddie squealed reaching into her purse, shifting around the contents exaggeratedly, and pulling out a now very crumpled piece of paper. Maddie stared at it for a second as if she were examining it. She flipped it over despite the fact that there were no words written on the back. "I can't read it," she finally announced shoving it into Bekah's hand.

Bekah grumbled something unintelligible before flipping the paper back over to the correct side and turning it right side up. She smoothed the wrinkled paper out on the bar and looked at what was left to complete on their list. "Someone has to get boxers," she said reading each article carefully. Someone had been marking each one with a fat black check once they had succeeded in their task.

"And…wait that's it!" she screamed holding the paper up in triumph for a second. She beamed at the group around her who the majority had no clue what she was yelling about. "We just need boxers. Since this is out last stop and I've taken a shot at every bar, I can mark that off," she told the crowd before slamming the paper back down on the bar, pulling out a Sharpie, and making a big show of marking off the ninth item on her list.

"So who's going to get us boxers?" Bekah asked of the girls around her who were only half paying attention to begin with. When no one answered her question, she openly glared at her bridesmaids until they realized she had addressed them and quickly responded.

"You should get them Bekah," Maddie said before unconsciously bursting into laughter and leaning into Bekah's shoulder.

"I probably should," Bekah conceded almost too easily as if she wouldn't mind the idea of sliding some other guys underwear off.

"Yeah girl," Amber crowed nudging Bekah's shoulder playfully. "You're the fucking bride. Any guy should feel lucky to give you his boxers."

"Definitely," Maddie agreed.

"Well let's start scoping them out," she said glancing around the room to see what guy would willingly give her their underwear.

Lexi was glad she hadn't been volunteered for this one. After having to endure that phone call, her role in the bachelorette festivities had been greatly reduced. The girls had kept to themselves, sharing inside jokes and old stories that Lexi could never understand, and mostly acting as if she didn't really exist. The whole exchange between the girls kind of felt like a high school and college reunion for them rather than a bachelorette party. In truth, she felt more like a tag along to their adventures than anything. And though it was frustrating on some level to be dismissed so easily, it was also a huge relief. This way she didn't have to try to be included or fake her enthusiasm for a night out with the monsters.

She still wasn't sure about Maddie though. The girl already had two strikes against her: one strike for the phone call and a second strike due to the fact that she had slept with Ramsey. Lexi was kind of curious if there was something more to that story though. Maddie kept giving her strange looks all throughout the night like she knew something that Lexi had no clue about. She wanted to just ask her what her fucking problem was, but as she was trying to keep a low profile that wouldn't have been the easiest thing to do. So the whole thing was discouraging to say the least.

"What about him?" Bekah finally asked pointing out a guy to Maddie and Amber who was standing against the wall. He was pretty gorgeous with longer hair slicked back off his forehead and a rather defined jaw line. He wore a snug fit v-neck t-shirt and tight jeans.

"He's gay," Amber said almost immediately.

"There's no way. Just look at him," Bekah argued tilting her head to the side.

Amber shook her head. "No for real. He's not straight."

"So he doesn't count," Maddie told her.

"There's nothing in the rules that says gay guys don't count," Bekah countered still staring at him.

"No, but come on. He has to be straight and sexy. We don't want just any guy's boxers," Amber drawled.

"Fine. Fine," Bekah grumbled gritting her teeth in attempt not to show her anger.

"Well hey once you find him let us know," Amber drawled leaning into Bekah. "We're gonna go dance." Maddie stumbled forward careening around Amber and wrapping her arms around Bekah.

"Come dance with us!" she squealed a giggle escaping her.

"You two go dance. I'll catch up," Bekah said shoving Maddie off of her.

"Ok love ya," Maddie cooed dashing after Amber who had already begun to disappear into the mob of people.

Bekah swiveled around to see who else was in the vicinity. Lexi really wished that she could disappear right then. She hadn't meant to be left alone with her, but she hadn't realized that Kersey had left during the discussion about the list. "Where'd Kersey go?" Bekah asked her taking a step forward and running into a guy standing at her side. She didn't even bother to apologize.

Lexi just shrugged attempting to angle her body away from Bekah so that she would cease conversation. She hadn't really been directly addressed all night. And she didn't want to make polite conversation with Bekah. Lexi was here. She was drunk. She was putting up with them for the evening, but she wouldn't exactly say she was having a good time. And having Bekah talk to her wasn't high on her list of things she needed to do for the night.

"Lexi?" Bekah asked obviously not getting the mental waves of rejection that were pouring off of Lexi.