Autumn Leaves (7 page)

“Politics?” Callie asked, honestly surprised.

“Well, yes, that lesbian couple who—”

“That’s a problem?” Callie sat up straighter, her voice a cooler tone.

“Not a problem,” Rebecca said quickly. “I just mean...Do you really have to confront children…” It had sounded so much better in her head. Now she thought it seemed ridiculous, but she couldn’t take the words back. “Forget about it,” she tried anyway.

“No, no. You asked for an answer. I don’t mind giving it. Yes, I think children need to be confronted, the earlier, the better. Kids look up to their parents, whether they’re good at their job, or they suck. Like it or not, if you tell a five-year-old kid that ‘God Hates the Fags…’” She made quotation marks with her fingers. “They’re going to believe it. They’re going to believe that it’s okay to hassle children who are different, and ‘gay’ becomes a convenient insult.”

“I never told that to my children,” Rebecca protested, disappointed. She was so much looking forward to this day. Now what started out as a simple question was about to completely spin out of her control.

“I know you didn’t. Just remember that silence isn’t much better. One person out of ten in the room is not worth your attention?”

“You’re not in the best mood today,” Rebecca remarked carefully. “I’m sorry. It’s just what I think. I have nothing against these families.”

“Just as long as these families don’t appear in children’s books, I get it.” Callie got up without ever having touched her cup.

“Don’t,” Rebecca pleaded. “Why are you so angry?”

“I’m not angry. This isn’t even close. You know, Rebecca, we haven’t really discussed it, but I know you’ve been wondering. Yes, I’ve dated women. I’ve had sex with them.”

“Now that’s just plain rude. I think you got up on the wrong side of the bed. I’ll just come back another time.”

“You do that, but if you think that who I am is an abomination, something you need to protect your children from, then you might as well never come back.”

“Callie! I never said that. It’s just that you’re writing those other books under the same name! People will...well, never mind the people. Aren’t you worried for yourself and, I don’t know, your reputation?” As hard as she tried, Rebecca was aware that each word was only making it worse. She might not have been responsible for Callie’s mood in the first place, but she sure wasn’t helping. Rebecca looked for a place away from all the crises around her, Dina’s, and Betty’s. She was stumbling headfirst into one of her own.

“You don’t understand,” Callie accused, “and what was I expecting anyway?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That was really stupid of me. Thinking you’d be different.”

“I think I’d better go now.”

“Yes, I agree. I have work to do.”

When Callie made no move to accompany her to the door, Rebecca walked back into the kitchen. She found it hard to tell who was wrong or right at the moment, but for sure she didn’t want to leave things at that.

“Come on. You know I’m not one of those crazy people who use the Bible as an excuse for each of their screwups. Right?” Somehow, a lot depended on the answer to that question. “Can’t you give me just a little more time?”

“Right,” Callie said. “You need time. That’s okay. We’ve had all the time getting used to living in a world where people hate us.”

Rebecca just shook her head, but she didn’t have the right words to argue. Not at the moment anyway.

Letting herself back into her own house, Rebecca felt like crawling under the covers and hiding from the world. With dread, she realized she had promised Father Langdon a first draft for his youth project.

She couldn’t focus, starting with some mindless internet surfing until she remembered Ms. Malik’s comment. Rebecca rolled her eyes. She’d known that this wouldn’t be a good day from the moment she learned Callie was not alone.

Curious and in severe need for distraction, she typed the letters MILF into Google. What the Urban Dictionary link had for her made her jaw drop first, then made her angry. Callie was one to talk about political correctness. Maybe it actually was a good idea not to drop by almost every single day. Then why did she still want to apologize? Why did it feel like her heart was breaking because she didn’t know how?

* * * *

Dina hadn’t yet made up with her friend, so she spent Saturday morning in bed, sulking. She hadn’t even raised the blinds by the time Rebecca left. Rebecca could sympathize. It was on days like this that she would have loved to be a teenager again, completely without adult responsibilities. She didn’t really feel like going out. Maybe it would do her some good. Maybe she’d even get to the bottom of Betty’s weird mood. She wasn’t sure, though, if she really wanted to.

Betty’s and Roz’s cars were already in the driveway when Rebecca pulled up in front of Maria and Craig’s house. Craig greeted her at the door.

“Hello, Becca. Everyone’s here, except for the host.” He rolled his eyes a little which Rebecca found inappropriate. Of the two brothers, David clearly was the one with the better manners.

“Okay, thanks.” She was glad when he didn’t try to engage her in more small talk. Craig had always made her uncomfortable for reasons Rebecca couldn’t quite fathom. She didn’t want to dwell on it now. As it was, the ambiance between her friends wasn’t much better.

“He’s not a man yet, and neither are those jerks who are hassling him,” Roz was saying when Rebecca walked into the dining room, obviously talking about Charles junior. “You’ve got to do something about it!”

“What am I gonna do about it?” Betty asked testily. “Go and ask them to be nice? Nick Weller is going to laugh in my face.”

Rebecca winced. Nick Weller had made a name in the real estate business and owned quite a bit of property in Autumn Leaves. His manners hadn’t kept up with his rise to fortune, so it was no wonder his son came after him.

“Hey, girls,” she said, thinking she didn’t deserve the annoyed look Betty gave her. “Sorry, I’m late,” she offered. “Another teenage crisis. Dina broke up with her BFF. David’s gone again, so I had to bring Maggie to her little book club first.” She had no idea why she gave this rambling, breathless explanation as if they expected one from her.

“Maria was here briefly, then she had to go. Said she’d be back in half an hour,” Roz informed her. “She promised a surprise though.” The table was set for brunch, complete with champagne glasses.

“Oh good. At least one of us has good news.” Rebecca gave Betty a quick sideways look. Betty shrugged. “David isn’t worried at all, is he?” There was a hint of condescension to her voice.

“Why would he be worried?” Rebecca had other problems to solve. She was still puzzled about Asha Malik’s comment and what it implied. She was afraid she’d risked a good friendship by speaking her mind. Maybe she should have just followed Dina’s example and go back to bed in a darkened room. She sure felt like it.

“Well...He leaves you alone a great deal of the time.”

“Because it’s his job?”

“I bet he’s glad the new neighbor you’re spending all your time with isn’t a guy.”

Betty’s insinuations were beginning to get on Rebecca’s nerves.

“Wouldn’t do much if the guy was gay,” she returned, not even trying to hide her irritation. Only the stunned silence at the table alerted her to what she’d just said moments later.

“Imagine that!” Betty said, sounding triumphant. It seemed like the news very much improved her mood, for whatever reason. “I knew she was trouble.”

“Why do you say that? If she minds her own business, why would she be trouble?” Roz laughed a bit uneasily. “It’s kind of funny that she couldn’t fix the sink herself then.”

“Come on,” Rebecca protested. “It’s not like knowing your way around the house makes you a lesbian.”

“Sure doesn’t.” Betty was amused. “Because you’re better with these things than most of our husbands are, I’d be worried.”

“You’re crazy.” The course of this conversation made it very clear that Rebecca was never going to mention Callie’s books in this group. The atmosphere had gotten a little lighter, but Rebecca couldn’t help the feeling that she’d made a terrible mistake. How often had she warned Callie to keep quiet about her private life, about the importance of keeping secrets? It was a terrible feeling that she couldn’t trust the people she thought of as friends. Rebecca really wanted some of that alcohol now. She could always walk home.

“Does David know?” Betty asked, interested. “Maybe he should be worried after all.”

“Hold it right there, Betty. There’s nothing to know. It’s her life, none of my business, or yours, for that matter.”

“You must know.”

“Hello there!”

The conversation came to a halt when Maria breezed into the room, all cheery and excited. “I’m glad you’re all here.”

“Well, yeah, we’ve been kinda waiting for you,” Roz reminded her.

“Of course. Look, we’ve got a new member in the church choir. She’s new in town, and I thought she’d be the perfect addition to our little Saturday morning tradition.”

“Warmest welcome,” Roz mumbled.

Rebecca wanted to disappear. Maria’s surprise guest was, of course, her favorite neighbor Callie Bryan.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Callie said. “Hi, Rebecca.” It sounded apologetic and defensive at the same time. Maybe Rebecca’s imagination had gotten the better of her. Her head was spinning. Why the church choir? How had Callie and Maria met in the first place? Rebecca had to admit a moment of jealousy. For a long time, she had wanted to be part of the choir. She didn’t have much of a singing voice, but there was no audition necessary to join. Once her children were born she just saw herself unable to fit it into the schedule, or at least that was what she’d told herself. Once again, she was assuming things about Callie without questioning them, thinking that a writer who liked a reclusive life wouldn’t be much interested in performing on a stage. She was too comfortable with that image of Callie, a shy young woman who needed Rebecca’s guidance. She was overestimating herself. It looked like Callie was able to find her way around the social structures of Autumn Leaves and find friends on her own just fine. It wasn’t like what they’d had was anything special. Even if for a while, Rebecca had found comfort in imagining that.

“Don’t look so scared,” Maria said to Callie, putting an arm around her shoulders. “We don’t bite, at least not the first time you’re here.”

“I’m relieved then.”

“I hear you’re a writer.” Betty was making conversation, but, Rebecca guessed, with a purpose.

“Yes. Children’s books,” she chimed in before Callie could say anything.

“I bet you’ve charmed Rebecca’s kids already then. Especially Maggie, the little bookworm.”

Betty was on a mission. Callie seemed very much unaware. “They’re great kids,” she said. “I never knew that an eight-year-old could be this easy to babysit.”

“Oh, you do that?” Betty asked sweetly.

“Just once so far, as the original babysitter cancelled on Rebecca.” Maybe she wasn’t so unaware after all.

“Is that so?”

“You’re welcome in any case.” Callie’s words were for Rebecca, not Betty. “I’m afraid, though, that
The Hunchback
is the only Disney movie I own.”

Everyone laughed. Betty’s smile felt as forced as her own, Rebecca realized
. What’s it to you?

“I don’t have any kids for you to babysit,” Maria said, “but you can come over any time if you like.” She and Callie shared a smile that was a lot more genuine and made Rebecca irrationally unhappy. She should be glad that most of her friends accepted Callie, because it would make a lot of things easier. Maybe. Rebecca emptied her glass quickly. Coming here such a bad idea. She spent the next few minutes working up the courage to tell Callie she needed a moment in private.

“MILF, really? You called me that to her face?” she asked as they stood by the coatrack in the hallway. First Asha Malik, now Maria became Callie’s new best friend. It wasn’t the best of weeks for Rebecca. She could tell it took Callie a few moments to make the connection.

“Oh, that.”

“Yes, that. So?”

“I told you Asha doesn’t have any manners whatsoever. What’s the big deal?”

“What the big deal is? You talked about me! Behind my back.”

“Just like you did before I came into the room?”

Rebecca had nothing left to argue with. She was brave, and just barely drunk enough to confess her earlier lapse. Meanwhile, her mood was taking an abrupt shift from defensive to guilty.

“I am so sorry. You’ve got to believe me.”

“It’s fine. I was overreacting too.” Callie sighed, and to Rebecca, it sounded heart-wrenching. Not everything was fine after all.

“No, you don’t get it. I didn’t mean to expose you. It just...happened.” What a miserable day.

“They would have found out at some point, anyway.”

It was not the reaction Rebecca had expected, and she didn’t think she deserved this rather merciful response. She was making too many mistakes already.

“I didn’t talk about you to Asha,” Callie said softly.