Autumn Bliss (16 page)

There was no way to avoid the brush of her leg against his, and she cast him a quick, self-conscious glance. Finding his gaze trained on her made her stomach do somersaults. Something in his eyes—she scooped up a bite of dessert and enthusiastically agreed with the others about how good it was.

Shut up before you make a fool of yourself.

“Definitely glad we said yes,” Bill West joked as he took another bite.

Gretchen and Anna insisted they must have the recipe as Mallory sat in intense awareness of the man next to her. Conversation flowed around her, but it was his sister’s words that stuck in her head.
You’re good for him.
The thought of being the catalyst for whatever major change others noticed in him thrilled her.

Since they’d met, he’d frequently been in her thoughts, and lately, it’d been more often than not. Their chemistry was off the charts—in her experience anyway, and whenever she was near him, her heart beat faster. Heck, even just seeing him across the lawn made her yearn to get closer.

If she let herself, she could easily fall for him.

Her stomach dropped. Falling for Levi would mean she’d be stuck here in Pulaski, walking the same road as her mother. Staying where she didn’t want to be, for a man. The ever-present memory of her mother’s bitter voice convinced her she could not spend her life like that.

Yet, if what Anna said was true, and she’d brought out the happy in him, what would happen when she left? Knowing he’d gone though something bad in his past, she couldn’t stand the thought of getting closer to him, only to hurt him. It made her heart ache.

Realizing she had to keep her distance from him hurt just as much. But it was her hurt, not his.

“Everything okay?”

His low voice next to her ear spiked her pulse. She almost got caught by his concerned gaze, but quickly directed hers down to her dessert plate. “Yeah, why?”

“You look lost in your thoughts. Not good ones, either.”

She must’ve been frowning without realizing it. Forcing a quick smile, she said, “I’m just tired.”

“Another headache? You want me to take you home?”

His thoughtfulness made her feel worse, even as her mind suddenly rebelled at the designation of the cabin being
home
.

“No, that’s okay. I think I might walk. Let the fresh air clear my head.”

Confusion wrinkled his brow and a split second glimpse of his eyes revealed the hurt she’d wanted to spare him.

Chapter 18

She quickly rose to her feet and made her excuses about being tired. Janelle frowned at her, but didn’t argue as she said goodbye to the Wests. Anna’s gaze shifted toward her brother when Mallory took her plate to the kitchen and then grabbed her coat.

Levi met her at the door and the kick to her pulse threatened to steal her breath.
If she let herself, she could fall for him.

Ha!
She was already free-falling with no parachute, damn it.

He reached for her coat. “I don’t like the idea of you walking in the dark.”

“It’s a full moon,” she argued, keeping her coat out of reach to put it on herself. “It’s almost as bright as day out there.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’ll be fine.” She wrapped her scarf around her neck. “Duke and Daisy are outside—they usually come with me as far as the dirt lane.”

“How about I walk with you?”

“No!” She sucked in a breath and gave him a bright smile. “Really, I’m fine.”

His gaze narrowed in the shadowed entryway. He moved closer and lowered his voice. “Is this about what happened earlier?”

The husky rasp of his voice made her skin flush with the memory of being held in his arms, mindless, aroused, wanting to feel every inch of him against her. What little oxygen she’d managed to get into her lungs was squeezed right back out.

“N-no.” The waver in her voice flustered her even more, and judging by his expression, the denial did not convince him.
On impulse, she reached up with one hand to palm his face while meeting his gaze. “Thank you for wanting to walk me home, but I will be just fine on my own.”

His eyes warmed at her touch. He started to lean in, but she quickly withdrew and yanked the door open.

“Goodnight, Levi. I’ll see you around.”

Again with the wounded look in his eyes. She fled across the porch, thankful when the pair of huskies jumped up to trot ahead of her. Even though she resisted the powerful urge to look back, she knew he watched her. Felt his gaze until she rounded the corner.

The night was fittingly chilly for the end of October, making her breath plume out as she followed the dogs along the lane. Moonlight glinted off the dark surface of the lake, sparkling on the ripples made by the slight evening breeze.

With Levi at her side, it would’ve been romantic. He’d have held her hand, they’d have talked and laughed, and he’d have kissed her goodnight on her porch. Or maybe she’d have invited him in to finish what they’d started earlier.

It scared her how much she wanted that—how much she wanted to take a chance on love and being happy with him here. But just as much, she feared losing herself. For the life of her, she couldn’t get her mother’s voice out of her head.

The dogs paused at the end of the paved lane, and she took a moment to pet each soft, gray head before sending them back to the lodge. It was darker here with the tree branches overhead breaking up the moonlight, and she increased her pace.

Almost to her cabin, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed her brother. He answered by the third ring, but the noise in the background made it hard to hear him.

“Hey, Mal.”

“Where are you?”

“Club in Green Bay. What do ya need?”

“Nothing.” Her throat tightened as she turned around and sat on the cabin’s porch step. “Just wanted to say hi.”

“Hi.”

“Hi. And bye—it’s too loud there. Have a good night.”

He didn’t argue, and after they’d disconnected, she clenched the phone in her hand. Shane probably couldn’t have answered her questions anyway. But she knew someone who might.

She was about to thumb his name in the contact list when the rumble of an engine filtered through the quiet night.

Levi.

Bright headlights cut through the semi-darkness, then his truck slowed out on the lane. Her heart lodged in her throat as she waited to see if he’d turn into her driveway or go past. She held her breath, caught between anticipation and dread.

Turn.

Keep going.

Turn.

Keep going.

After a long pause, the engine gave a throaty rumble, and he continued past her place to his own.

The disappointment was crushing—more so than she expected.

Raising the phone, she touched the name on her screen and then waited until a low, male voice picked up. “Hello?”

“Hi, Daddy, it’s Mal.”

“Hey, pumpkin. What’s wrong?”

She drew in a shaky breath, hoping it’d calm her nerves. “What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“It’s the only time you ever call me Daddy.”

He was right. Tears swelled in her eyes, but she looked at the moon and blinked them away. “I…I wanted to talk to you about mom.”

There was a beat of silence. “Okay.”

He sounded cautious, but open, so she forged ahead. “Can I ask, how come you and mom never got divorced? She wasn’t happy. Neither were you.”

A sigh came across the line. “You’re right, we weren’t.”

“Then why not end it? Why didn’t one of you leave, for that matter? Why didn’t mom leave?”

“She didn’t believe in divorce.”

“Even when she was so obviously miserable?” She heard her words, and cringed. “I’m sorry, Dad, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“It’s okay, pumpkin, I understand. Part of it was that she also didn’t want to disrupt things for you kids. Divorce is hard.”

“And yet staying together wasn’t any better,” she said. “She was so bitter all the time.”

“I know, and I hate that you knew.”

She felt bad for the anguish in his voice, but needed the answers now more than ever.

“I tried to make her happy,” her dad said. “But as the years went on, it didn’t matter what I did. She wanted so much more than I could give. Much more than what our small town had to offer.”

“Why didn’t we move? You could’ve found another job somewhere, couldn’t you have? Somewhere she could’ve been happy?”

“I offered. Many times. She always said no.”

Mallory frowned into the dark. That didn’t make sense. “Why would she say no? She hated it here.”

Another sigh. “I don’t know. I never understood that myself. The one time, about when Shane was twelve, I started searching for something else without telling her, but she found out. She was furious with me, and I never brought it up again.”

None of this was helping, so she went on to the next question. “Did you two ever love each other?”

“Yes. At least I like to think she did at one point.” Now his voice was low, and rough, as if he was choked up, same as her. “As for me, I still loved your mother the day she died, honey. I’d have done anything for her.”

That is what she was afraid of. Before her throat closed completely, she said, “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.”

“Anytime, pumpkin. I love you, too.”

“Tell Cynthia I said hello.” She started to pull the phone down to disconnect.

“Mallory?”

She pressed it back to her ear. “Yes?”

“Why are you bringing this up now? Are you okay?”

Her muscles were so used to it, her smile didn’t even feel forced. “Yes, Dad, I’m great. Bye.” She disconnected before he could insist she answer his first question.

Her lips trembled as she lowered her hand, and hidden in the shadows on the porch, she let the tears fall. Unfortunately, he’d confirmed what she’d suspected all along.

Love wasn’t enough.

Chapter 19

I’m just fine on my own.

See you around.

Only Levi hadn’t seen Mallory other than at a distance all week.

At first, he’d tried to tell himself she was busy with the festival, but the constant echo of her words eventually convinced him to face the truth—she was avoiding him. Didn’t want to see or talk to him.

Anna and her big mouth.

Better yet, he should’ve listened to those alarm bells in his head the day they first met.

No…because even though it hurt like hell to think she was done with him, he didn’t regret his feelings one bit. He was starting to live again, and for the first time in almost three years, he looked forward to what the future might bring.

For now, all energy was focused on the upcoming event. Excitement vibrated in the air as everyone pulled together to get everything set up. Then it had rained two days ago, and yesterday had been cold and cloudy, worrying everyone things wouldn’t clear up for Saturday. If Janelle and Mark were anxious, he could just imagine Mallory’s dismay.

Thankfully, the weather forecast held up. The morning of Whispering Pines’ Fall Harvest Festival dawned sunny and bright, and promised to stay that way past closing time at six p.m. The predicted high of fifty-eight in early November was a blessing from God above.

Levi watched for Mallory—watched for his chance. Maybe the Lord would grant another miracle or two for those willing to work for them?

By seven a.m., he joined Mark at the designated festival area to put the final touches on the booths and begin letting the vendors in to set up in time for the ten a.m. start. He waved to Eric and his family as they drove by to park near the lodge, then turned back to finish adding the last of the yellow and burnt-orange maple leaves to the top header of the main food booth the Wests would occupy.

Picnic tables with pumpkin centerpieces were set up for those who wanted burgers and brats, as well as a bowl of the booyah from the nearby kettles.

He finished with the leaves and stepped down from his ladder as Eric arrived and introduced the pretty blond at his side as his wife, Marissa. The two girls with them were Heather and Reese, each one clearly favoring a parent by the contrasting color of their hair. One fair, one dark, and no doubt they’d both be breaking hearts before long.

“Looks like a great day,” Eric observed, his gaze sweeping the cloudless sky.

“It is,” Levi agreed. He scanned the still quiet grounds, hoping for himself, it’d get even better.

“I can’t believe how beautiful the weather is after the past couple days,” Marissa added as he spotted Mallory walking their way, but angled more toward the barns.

Even as a vice squeezed his chest, he drank her in, stylish as ever in her jeans, boots, sweater, and a red down vest to ward off the morning chill. She had her gaze fixed on the clipboard in her hand, pen moving over the paper.

With her unaware, he couldn’t have looked away even if he wanted to—and he definitely didn’t want to. He missed her face. Missed her voice. Missed that smile that warmed his heart and revved his pulse.

Eric’s wife spotted her as well. “Good morning, Mallory!”

Her head jerked up, and her gaze locked with Levi’s for an electric moment. Then she turned that smile of hers to the blond.

Was he the only one who recognized it was forced and stiff?

“Hi, guys.” She lifted her clipboard to wiggle it back and forth. “I hope you’re here to help, because I’ve got plenty for you to do.”

Eric snapped to attention with a quick salute. “Rileys reporting for duty, Sarge.”

The girls giggled while his wife rolled her eyes with a grin.

He relaxed his stance as he said, “But first, check this out.”

Mallory altered direction and came their way. Levi noticed she was careful to avoid looking at him as she greeted everyone else. With his guard down, the pain surged forward.

Then her gaze shifted to the booth and her eyes went wide when she saw the painted wooden leaves. Her smile turned genuine. “Oh, wow. Eric, those are great. Did Janelle see them yet?”

“Not yet.”