aterovis_bm_reapthewhirlwind.p65 (16 page)

“No thanks.”

“Good. Don’t start. It’s a nasty habit.” She stubbed out the butt and looked over at me. “So, are you really gay?”

I drew in a sharp breath. “Yeah.”

“Hey, it’s cool with me. It just figures that the first nice guy I meet in months would be gay. You don’t have a thing for Joey, do you?”

“I used to.”

“But not now?”

“No, not now.”

“Not after tonight?”

“Right.”

“I tried to warn you.”

“Some things you just have to see for yourself.”

She continued to stare at my face as if she were memo-rizing my features. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

“For what?”

“For your loss.”

“What do you mean?”

“You lost a friend tonight, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I did,” I said and suddenly there were tears rolling down my cheeks again. I swiped at them 141

JOSH ATEROVIS

angrily.

“Don’t,” Caitlin said. “Don’t be ashamed to cry. He made me cry too.”

“You? What did he do to you?”

She looked away. “I was one of those dumb girls who fell for all his lies and promises.”

“I’m sorry. But hey, at least you can move on now and forget about him. That’s what I have to try and do now I guess.”

“It’s not that easy. You have all those memories of him and I have my own little reminder.”

“What do you mean?”

She lit up another cigarette and took a long drag. “I’m the girl he got pregnant,” she said, still not looking at me.For a minute I was too stunned to think of anything to say, then I said the first thing that came to my mind,

“You shouldn’t be smoking.”

She laughed, but there was no humor in the laugh.

“Why not? I’m going to have an abortion.”

Neither of us spoke for a while.

“You don’t think I should, do you?” she said at last.

“I didn’t say that,” I said quickly.

“No, but you’re thinking it, I can tell.” I stayed quiet.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she went on as if I was arguing with her. Maybe she was arguing with herself. “I can’t afford to raise a kid on my own. I can’t even afford a damn goldfish. I just started school.

Oh my God, if my parents found out…”

“It’s not the baby’s fault,” I said softly.

She stared at the cigarette for a minute then in a quick violent motion, ground it out angrily. Then, just as suddenly, her mood switched again and she began to cry.

142

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered. “I can’t believe I was so stupid. I’m so scared.”

I sat in uncomfortable silence unsure of what to say.

Then an idea popped into my head. I blurted it out before I even thought about it. “I—I’ll help you raise the baby.”

She stopped crying with a hiccup and stared at me as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I had.

“Are you crazy? You can’t be serious?” she said when she’d found her voice.

“Yes—I mean no—I mean…”

“Do you have any idea what you are even saying?”

“Yes, I can help you. I’m an artist so I can watch the baby while you’re at school. I don’t have a lot of money, but you can get help from social services and I’ll help with what I can.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“No, but I usually have good instincts about people and I trust you. Besides, I know Joey and this is his baby too. If he isn’t going to take care of it then someone has to.”“Why you?”

“I’ve been cleaning up Joey’s messes for eighteen years, I’m used to it. And—I guess I just feel kind of responsible in a way.”

“How could you possibly be responsible?”

“It’s kinda my fault Joey has become like this. I drove him to it. I—I told him I loved him.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“You told him you loved him and—”

“And he freaked out.”

“Look, Will, you’re an incredibly sweet, incredibly 143

JOSH ATEROVIS

naive kid. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire life. I hope you find happiness and the man of your dreams. But this isn’t your fault and you don’t owe me anything. It’s not your fault that Joey reacted like he did. There was no way you could have known and nothing you could have done differently. Thank you for your offer, but this is my problem and I’ll deal with it. I was the one who was stupid enough to fall for his load of shit. I was the one who didn’t insist he use a condom.

Me. So that makes me responsible for this…” she gestured helplessly at her still-flat stomach. “Me and Joey.

And I don’t think I can count on him for anything.”

“But you can count on me. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Joey was like a brother to me. So that makes me this baby’s uncle, sort of, right?”

“I guess…”

“Then let Uncle Will help.”

She laughed, this time a real laugh. It was a nice laugh.

“I’ll give you this, Uncle Will, you’re persistent.”

I grinned. “Yup.”

“Will you stop bugging me if I promise to at least think about it?”

“If you promise you’ll really think about it.”

“I promise. It’s all I can think about anyway.”

“Great! Let me give you my phone number and stuff.”

“I’m not promising to do anything but think about it,” she warned.

“I know.”

“And I still think you’re crazy.”

“I know.”

I crawled out from under the tree and scribbled my name and phone number on a scrap of paper I found in 144

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

my pocket.

“I still think you’re out of your mind,” she said as I handed it to her and I was preparing to leave, “but you’ve given me something to think about. I’m still not promising you anything, though. I don’t owe you anything.”

“No, but maybe you do owe something to that baby you’re carrying.”

She gave me an odd look that was a mix of exasperation and thoughtfulness. I started down the street as a bloodcurdling scream ripped through the night. Another quickly followed it. They sounded like they were coming from the back yard. I turned back.

“Sounds like Joey struck again,” Caitlin said sadly.

“Maybe I should check it out,” I said uncertainly.

“Are you going to follow behind him cleaning up his messes for the rest of your life? Go home, Clark Kent, you’ve done enough good for one night.”

I turned to go again but a sense of dread had filled me and I couldn’t leave. It was as if something was physically holding me back. I was trying to force myself to walk away when someone vaulted over the high fence that separated the back yard from the front. He almost barreled into Caitlin in his haste.

“Holy shit,” he panted as he pushed his sweaty dark hair out of his eyes.

“What’s going on?” I asked as the feeling of dread grew.

“It’s that guy—uh—Joe something…”

“Taylor?” I offered even though I already knew what his answer would be.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

145

JOSH ATEROVIS

“What’s he done now?” Caitlin sighed.

“What’s he done?” The guy let out a slightly hysterical giggle. “He died, that’s what he did.”

146

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

My mind stalled. Caitlin and I both stared dumbly at this bearer of bad news. Maybe I had heard wrong.

“What did you say?” I finally stammered.

“He’s dead. This chick just found him in the pool, floating face down. I think somebody called the cops.

This party’s busted.” As he said this last part, he was steadily backing away. With his last words, he spun around and joined the steady stream of guests who were exiting the premises as quickly as they could.

I looked at Caitlin. “Do you think he’s serious?” I asked her.

“Listen,” she said. I did and could hear sirens in the distance. I guess that answered my question. “Come on, let’s go!” she said grabbing my arm.

“What? We can’t just leave!” I protested but she was already dragging me into the street.

“Yes, we can and yes, we are. I don’t want to be here when the cops arrive. We were out here under the tree the whole time, so it’s not like we have anything to tell them. I’ve been through this before and trust me, it’s not fun and it takes forever.”

“You’ve been through this before?” I asked in alarm.

“Well not this exact thing, but I was at a party where 147

JOSH ATEROVIS

this guy turned up dead in the river.”

“Does someone always end up dead in the water at parties you attend?”

“No, just these two times. Where’s your car?”

“Around the corner, why?”

“You’re taking me home,” she said. We ran to the car and pulled away just as two patrol cars pulled up lights flashing with an ambulance not far behind. My mind hadn’t caught up with recent events but now suddenly the full impact of what I had just heard hit me. He had said Joey was dead. But that was impossible—I’d just seen him—he couldn’t be dead. Maybe it was some sort of sick joke or maybe he was wrong and it was really someone else. Or maybe he wasn’t dead, just really drunk. There was an ambulance so that had to be a good sign, right? Do they send ambulances for dead people?

“Where are you going?” Caitlin asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I had forgotten she was even in the car.“Huh?”

“Where are you going? You don’t even know where I live. We’re going the wrong way.”

“Oh—I….” I gave up trying to form a coherent sentence and turned the car around. I followed her direc-tions to a small slightly run-down apartment complex near the college.

“Thanks, Will,” she said when I’d pulled to a stop in front of her building. “You’re a sweet guy. Stop blaming yourself for the loser that Joey turned out to be. If it is him then he deserved whatever happened. I’ll be in touch.” She leaned over and kissed me quickly on the cheek and then she was gone.

I drove slowly home in a sort of numb trance. Twice 148

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

I missed a turn and had to back up. When I finally got home, Aidan was sitting up waiting. “Where were you?

I was worried,” he said accusingly as he jumped to his feet.

“I’m sorry,” I said, my mind not really on Aidan or his concern.

“Your note said you were going to take pictures; it’s been dark for hours.”

“I’m sorry,” I said again as I sank heavily into a chair.

“I didn’t know where you were, if you were okay—if you were even alive…”

Something snapped inside me. “I said I’m sorry!” I yelled. “What more do you want from me?”

Aidan looked as if I had delivered him a physical blow. “Well excuse me for giving a damn. I guess I should know better by now.” He spun around and started for his room.

“Aidan, wait!” I called wearily. This wasn’t what I wanted or needed right now. He stopped but kept his back to me. “I went to talk to Joey. It—it didn’t go well.”

He turned around.

“He—he wanted me to…” I stopped and tried to swallow the bile that kept rising in the back of my throat.

“He wanted me—to—do stuff—to him. Then he—I think he was going to rape me.” I started crying but kept going; it was as if the words wouldn’t stop coming. “He pinned me against the wall and tried to force himself on me. He hurt me, my arm—my lip—”

All the color had drained from Aidan’s face. “Oh my God,” he whispered.

“I hit him, pushed him away—then I ran.”

Aidan crossed the room and knelt down in front of me. “Are you okay?” he asked gently tipping my face 149

JOSH ATEROVIS

up so he could check for damage.

“I think he’s dead,” I choked.

Aidan’s eyes flew open wide. “You killed him?”

“No, at least I don’t think so. He was alive when I left him. I was talking to someone when he died. Someone said they found him in the pool. I don’t even know what happened. We left before the police got there.”

“Who is this ‘we,’ Will?”

“Me and Caitlin.”

“Who’s Caitlin?”

“I met her tonight. She was one of Joey’s conquests.

He—hurt her.” I don’t know why I didn’t tell him about Caitlin’s pregnancy; I just didn’t feel it was the right time.

“Where is she now?”

“I took her home.”

“Why did you leave before the police got there?”

“Caitlin wanted to. She said we didn’t want to be around because it was an awful process that took a long time, and we didn’t have anything to add anyway because we were in the front yard under the tree for the whole time.”

“Under the…? Never mind. How does she know it’s an awful process?”

“She was at party last year when they found a body in the river. Someone had killed him and dumped him in the water. Do you think that’s what happened to Joey?”

“I don’t know what happened to Joey, or even if anything did at this point. For all we know it could have been some kind of sick prank. And that party where the body was found in the river must have been the one that Killian and Asher were at.” He looked down at his 150

REAP THE WHIRLWIND

watch and jumped up to turn on the TV. The late news was just coming on.

“Details are few at this time,” the female news anchor was saying, “but we have received confirmation that a student from Pemberton University died tonight at a party held off campus. No word yet on the cause of death or whether it was accidental or foul play was involved. We’ll keep you posted on developments in this sad case as events unfold.”

She moved on to her next story, something about hog futures. Joey’s death was just another story unrolling on the Teleprompter in front of her. I sat stunned for a moment as Aidan snapped off the TV.

“Have you ever wondered what they mean by hog futures?” I said finally. “What kind of future does a hog have really? Ham or bacon? Sausage or scrapple?”

“Will, are you okay?” Aidan asked, quickly coming back to my side.

“We don’t know for sure it was Joey—she didn’t say his name,” I said halfheartedly, like a child who believes that as long as you don’t say it, it isn’t true. But I knew in my gut that it was true, that Joey was gone. It was almost as if a part of me was suddenly missing, leaving a gaping hole in its place.

“No, we don’t know for sure,” Aidan said softly. “You should go to bed. It’s late and you need to rest.”