At The Stroke Of Midnight (4 page)

There was a hunger in his dark eyes
as he looked at her.
 
He wanted her,
Jane realized, and she felt that want all the way to her toes.
 
"Why are you different?
 
Better yet, why are you unmarried?
 
You should have been snatched up ages
ago."
 
She could almost feel the
attraction between them grow, as if it was a living thing and it scared her.
 
Yet his question frightened her more.

This was a tricky subject and one
that usually cut Jane to the heart, but tonight, she sensed that, like her,
Sebastian was genuinely interested in the answer.
 
So therefore, she would provide them.
 
He would not, she was certain, laugh at her.
 
Because she knew that he felt this
connection between them, too.
 
He would
not be so cruel.
 
"I am decidedly
unfashionable, Sebastian.
 
Beneath the
polished surface, I am not what a proper young lady should be.
 
I am not what men of good breeding want or
desire."

At that, Jane felt his eyes roaming
her body almost like a lover's caress.
 
"I do not see how.
 
To me,
you are lovely.
 
Exquisite.
 
And while I do not know much about women's
clothing, I do know that the pale gown you are wearing does nothing for your
complexion.
 
You need jewel-like
colors.
 
That said, the gown is well
made and carries the bit of gold lace that I know comes only from Madame
LaVallier's."
 
He reached out and
brushed his free hand over hers.
 
"I also know that you lied to me in the ballroom.
 
I suspect you are actually very accomplished
on the pianoforte.
 
After all, it is
your passion."
 
He said the last
word in a low tone that made her shiver.

Feeling a bit brazen, Jane returned
his touch with a squeeze of her own, both of their hands now linked.
 
"You may be correct, but with the
matrons of the
ton
?
 
I am
unfashionable.
 
My mother was Scottish,
from deep in the Highlands, and I carry her coloring and looks.
 
I am not a pale, golden angel like my
half-sister.
 
I am far too tall, far too
curvy and, above all else, far too plain to be considered a diamond of the
first water.
 
I know this.
 
The others know this.
 
It is the way of things and you are not a
stupid man.
 
You know it as well."

"I do not know any such
thing.
 
What I do know is that they are
fools," he replied sliding closer, his temper flaring for a moment before
he tamped it down, his voice low and seductive once more.
 
"I know that, were you mine, had I met
you earlier, I would have whisked you away to Gretna Green and been done with
it long ago.
 
No man would have ever had
a chance with you."

A part of Jane wanted to know why
they could not have that now, but the more reasonable part of her whispered
that they were just pretty words, mostly likely spoken by a man who was only
taking pity on her.
 
But, oh, they were
wonderful, magical words just the same.

"Then you alone feel that way,
Sebastian."
 
She could feel the
heat of his body next to hers and basked in it.
 
Her chest rose and fell with rapid breath and her breasts were
becoming heavier still.
 
She wanted this
man, though she knew she should not.
 
Still, she craved him in a way she had never craved a man before.
 
"You alone see me for who I am."

Jane thought he would say something
else, but before she knew what was happening, his lips were on hers, hot and
demanding.
 
It was her first kiss, but,
oh, what a kiss it was.
 
He urged her to
open her mouth to his and when she did, he swept his tongue inside, tasting
her, drinking her in.
 
He pulled her to
him and she went willingly.
 
Everything
he asked for, she gave without hesitation.

His hands roamed her body and she
allowed him whatever liberties he wished.
 
When he reached up to cup one of her breasts, she made a mewling sound
in the back of her throat and clutched at his coat, desperate to be closer to
him.
 
When she shifted on the hard
bench, he moved her to his lap and continued to devour her, though he was
careful not to muss her hair beyond a single sweep of his hand over her
coiffure.
 
As if he forgot himself.
 
As if she was alluring enough to make him
forget.

She wasn't certain how long the
kiss lasted, but when they finally broke apart, he was breathing just as hard
as she was, and he appeared just as affected.
 
"Forgive me, Jane," he managed, though his voice was tight,
almost as if he was in pain.
 
"You
are a lady and I should not have."

"I wanted you to."
 
Her own voice was unsteady and she took a
moment to rest against him so that she might regain her breath.
 
He had affected her down to her very
toes.
 
Then she sighed in contentment
for it had been a wonderful kiss indeed.
 
"This is not how I imagined this night would progress."

"Nor I," he agreed as he
slowly helped her to her feet, for she found that her legs were shaking and
unsteady.
 
Again, it was as if they had
silently agreed that they needed to return to the ballroom before they were
missed.
 
Two bodies but of one mind.
 
"I had thought to meet my cousin, the
Duke of Hathaway, here this evening.
 
That was all.
 
I did not imagine
that I would meet you instead."

There were so many things that Jane
wanted to ask Sebastian but she dared not.
 
This was not her life.
 
It was
someone else's.
 
She was merely
borrowing it for a while.
 
Like in the
fairy tale, the clock would strike the proverbial midnight and it would all be
gone.
 
Disappeared in a poof of fairy
dust as if it had never happened at all.
 
She had her kiss and a wonderful, magical memory of a man who made her
feel wanted and desired.
 
She would be
content with that.
 
Though the moment
Sebastian pulled away from her, she missed the heat of his body.
 
She could not pretend that she didn't.

"Then let us keep the memory
of this evening between us."
 
Jane
did not want word of her indiscretion getting back to her father.
 
He would likely banish her before the end of
the season if he knew what she had done.

"I do not kiss and tell, my
lady."
 
Sebastian took her hands in
his as they reached the worn stone steps that led to the balcony surrounding
the ballroom.
 
"Jane.
 
What just happened?
 
I will not tell a soul.
 
I swear on my father's grave."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze,
knowing that her fairy tale was at an end.
 
"I believe you."
 
Just
then she heard the familiar opening of the terrace doors.
 
"Now go.
 
Before someone sees us and we are both in very deep
trouble."

"I would not mind, my
beautiful Cinderella."
 
Then,
Sebastian was gone, disappearing into the shadows before her very eyes, but not
before stopping to pick up something on the steps they had just taken on their
way to the terrace.
 
Jane watched his
retreating form, wishing with all that she was that she could follow him.
 
That he had promised her something more than
just this singular night.

When she heard someone clear their
throat, she looked up in surprise as she had completely forgotten where she
was.
 
Even when he was not present,
Sebastian still had the ability to muddle her thoughts.
 
Thankfully, it was only the worried eyes of
Caroline that looked back at her.

"Your father is searching for
you."
 
There was no censure in
Caro's words, but rather worry.
 
"I
told him that you had gone out to take some air and that I was mere steps
behind you."

"I did take some air,"
Jane replied, her voice still somewhat breathless.

"With Lord Covington.
 
Or should I call him Sebastian, as I am
certain you do?"
 
Caroline watched
her friend carefully as Jane hurried up the steps as fast as her gown would
allow.
 
Then she smiled.
 
"He likes you, Jane.
 
Rather a bit unless I miss my guess.
 
I know him well and have never seen him this
instantly smitten with a woman."

Jane shook her head, dismissing her
friend's words in an instant.
 
"He
is not.
 
This was a...
 
it was just..."
 
Except that Jane did not know how to
describe what had just transpired between her and the earl.
 
Other than that she could still feel his
kiss lingering on her lips.
 
She could
still feel the way his hand had caressed her breast.

"He was.
 
He is."
 
Then Caroline peeked through the door and quickly scurried back
to link her arm with Jane's, as if the two women had merely been taking in the
air together just as she had claimed.
 
When a society matron appeared and gave them both first appraising and
then approving looks, Jane realized how close she had come to ruin.
 
A few moments longer and the woman would
have discovered her with Sebastian.

"Not."
 
Jane growled through clenched teeth as she
and Caroline returned to the sweltering ballroom.

"Was," Caroline replied
tartly before unlinking her arm from Jane's and giving her friend's arm a firm
pat.
 
"And were I you, I would make
certain to do something about it."
 
Then she disappeared into the throng of guests like quicksilver, leaving
Jane standing in front of the still-open French doors.

If only Caroline was correct, Jane
thought as she moved back into the crowd that was milling about the ballroom as
the next set prepared to start.
 
If only
a man like the earl was interested in her she might forge another future for
herself - one of wife and mother and not a servant in another peer's
household.
 
But, as her friend Amy was fond
of saying, life could not be lived on "if only-s".
 
If that
were
the case, however, then
Jane was convinced she had just met her prince charming.
 
And he was everything she had hoped he would
be and more.
 
He was her happily ever
after.

December 1819

"Isn't this exciting?
 
Tonight shall be the first dancing of the
house party!
 
I cannot wait!
 
Especially since my betrothed is here and we
will surely dance the waltz at least once.
 
Perhaps twice if he is daring enough."
 
Lizzie was bouncing up and down on her toes, much to Jane's
annoyance.
 
Then again, it would not
take much at the moment to make Jane feel worse than she already did.

"As I am not going to be
dancing, I will take your word for it," Jane finally replied through
gritted teeth, though she tried, and probably failed, to keep a calm expression
on her face.
 
"And might I remind
you that Lord Covington is not your betrothed yet.
 
Father said he would not sign the final papers for a few more
days.
 
Until then, nothing is
official.
 
You two are not formally
bound."

Lizzie flipped her hand in the air
dismissively as she examined her maid's work on her hair with a hand
mirror.
 
"It does not signify.
 
He is here and despite the awkward start to
things, the house party is progressing nicely.
 
I simply wish it was larger, but Papa would not allow Mama to invite any
more people.
 
I am about to become a
countess and I should think that everyone would want to celebrate."
 
Then she rolled her eyes in a very childish
manner, one that made Jane want to rip out her sister's hair by the very
roots.
 
"Though I had hoped the
earl would be a bit more handsome.
 
He
is almost as plain as you are, Janie!"

"I think he is exceptionally
handsome and, were I you, Elizabeth Abigail Ashford, I would not be looking
down my nose at him.
 
Lord Hathaway is
not interested in you and Lord Covington has offered.
 
That should be enough for you."
 
Jane was gripping the edge of her dressing table so hard that her
knuckles were turning white.
 
She
desperately wanted to flee, but knew that was impossible.
 
Instead, she remained trapped here in her
room with her feather-brained sister.

So she did the next best thing she
could to running away.
 
She rose from
her chair and attempted to appear completely unconcerned that her heart was
breaking in her chest with each word that her sister spoke.
 
She was afraid that she was not doing a very
good job of it, unfortunately.

"Oh phooey."
 
Lizzie patted her hair, turning her head
this way and that to admire herself.
 
"You sound just like him, you know.
 
Telling me that Adam and I would not suit.
 
It is as if you two share the same
mind."

Jane attempted a dismissive shrug
as she picked up her gloves from the bed, though she would have preferred to
give Lizzie a good verbal dressing down, so tired was she of her sister's
prattle.
 
How on earth did Sebastian
stand it?
 
How would he tolerate that
chatter for the rest of his life?
 
Then
she reminded herself that it was none of her concern.
 
Nor would it ever be.
 
"First, do not refer to the duke as Adam.
 
You do not have that right and your mother would go into the
vapors if she knew.
 
And, as I have not
spoken much to Lord Covington, I will accept you at your word on the matter of
his nature."

That much was true.
 
Jane had done her best to avoid Sebastian
after her father had delivered the devastating news some weeks back.
 
Each time she saw the earl now was like a
knife to her heart, tainting the memory of that magical, perfect night.
 
The most wonderful night of her life.

They had spoken briefly a few times
ever since it had been announced that Sebastian was courting Lizzie, mostly
polite chitchat in the company of others.
 
During those times, his eyes searched hers, as if begging understanding,
but Jane was not of a mind to give it.
 
Had he courted another woman, it might have been possible, but her
sister?
 
That was a betrayal that cut
straight to her heart, especially since he had claimed that Jane was everything
he could ever want in a woman.
 
And Jane
was the complete opposite of Lizzie.

Sebastian had sought her out alone
several times as well, but each time, Jane had refused to hear him out.
 
He had lied to her, made her feel
special.
 
Now he had moved on to the
very thing he had claimed to despise.
 
What more was there to say?
 
She
had known that night was nothing more than a fairy tale, or her head had
anyway.
 
It was a pity her heart had
other ideas about the matter.

"You would like him,"
Lizzie confided with a toss of her head, as if attempting to check the
stability of her new maid's hair dressing abilities.
 
"He is almost as boring as you at times.
 
I do not understand his humor at all.
 
He does not make me laugh as other men
do.
 
I am afraid that he is frightfully
dull.
 
But he is wealthy and titled and
that is all that matters in the end, is it not?"

Jane wanted to say that Lizzie was
too immature to understand Sebastian's humor but she did not.
 
She wanted to say that he was the most
exciting man she had ever met, but she did not do that, either.
 
Nor did she point out that he was far more
than a title, because really, that should have been obvious.
 
It was to her, anyway.

However, she was afraid that if she
did, she would shatter the illusion that she barely knew Sebastian.
 
She could not risk that.
 
If anyone, but in particular Angeline,
discovered the truth of Jane and Sebastian's relationship, Jane knew that she
would be banished from the house immediately.
 
Nothing, in her stepmother's mind anyway, would stand in the way of
Lizzie's union with Sebastian.
 
Not even
the eldest daughter, who, by convention, should have been the first in line to
marry the very eligible earl.

No, as far as anyone knew, other
than brief introductions at the door and the occasional conversation in mixed
company, Jane and Sebastian had never spoken much to each other.
 
Jane was not about to correct them on that
point.
 
Better to let the assumption
stand than to let everyone know she had indulged in a stolen garden assignation
with the man.
 
No matter how much her
heart broke each time she saw Lizzie on Sebastian's arm.

No one other than Caroline knew of
Jane's teasing, flirting conversation with the earl at the refreshment
table.
 
No one other than the earl knew
precisely what had occurred during their time in the garden.
 
Both were secrets she would now carry to her
grave along with numerous other ones - including how badly heartbroken she was.

Jane had not seen Lord Covington,
or Sebastian, as she still privately thought of him, for the rest of the season
after that magical night.
 
They moved in
different social circles, his far higher than hers, and she had come to learn
that he had only attended her family's musicale at the prompting of his cousin,
Adam Reynolds, the current Duke of Hathaway.
 
Hathaway knew that Sebastian was being pressured by his ailing - or not
so ailing, depending on whom one asked - mother to find a young bride and
secure the family line with an heir.
 
Hathaway had seemingly thought that Lizzie might fit the bill.

Then, Sebastian had simply
disappeared from society for a time.
 
Actually, for the entire rest of the season.
 
He hadn't been seen again publicly until the Little Season had
begun.
 
Jane now knew that the morning
after the musicale, he had been called away on emergency business at one of his
estates in Kent.
 
He had, however, been
planning on calling at the Devonmont's the morning after the musicale, though
she did not know why.
 
She had learned
that from Caroline.
 
Then, one day after
his return, Sebastian had come to call on her father.
 
Two days later, Sebastian's mother had paid a visit as well, and,
by the end of the week, it was clear that something was afoot.

Then, one night before what was to
be the final event of the season, a ball hosted by the newly minted Earl of
Ardenton and his lovely wife, Charles Ashford had teased his daughters, though
Lizzie more so than Jane, about a special guest that would be attending the
ball.
 
Finally, on the carriage ride to
the ball, he announced that Lord Covington had asked permission to court and
then quickly wed "the loveliest girl in all of England."

And in that moment, Jane had
known.
 
In the end, just like all of the
others, Sebastian had chosen Lizzie.
 
He
would marry her by year's end.
 
Plain
Jane had been pushed aside once more.
 
The night in the garden had meant nothing to him.
 
It had all been lies.
 
Imagination.
 
Fantasy.

She had wanted to weep, but she had
managed to hold herself together.
 
Somehow.
 
Even now she was not
certain how she had done it.
 
That night
had been one to simply endure, paste a false smile on her face, and remain in
the wallflower corner where she always sat while she watched Sebastian and
Lizzie dance their first waltz.
 
It had
been like a thousand shards of glass slicing her to ribbons.
 
But she had endured.
 
She would not give anyone, least of all society
and Angeline, the pleasure of seeing her falter.

She was strong, just as her mother
had been.
 
She would not break.
 
She might be plain, but she was not
weak.
 
And, she was a lady.
 
Ladies did not show weakness.

Lizzie, of course, was beside
herself both with joy and worry, for she had spent the better part of the
little season flirting shamelessly with the Duke of Hathaway, the very man who
had suggested that Sebastian consider Lizzie as a wife.
 
He'd shown no preference for her, but, as
was Lizzie's way, she was convinced that somehow, someway, even though she was
not in his presence, the duke had become enamored with her and had begged her
father for her hand.
 
Or would now that
Sebastian was openly courting her.

In Lizzie's mind, she wanted the
duke, so it was therefore the duke she would have.
 
Not the earl.
 
She did not
want him.
 
Though, she had confessed one
night at a coaching inn as they made the journey to Blackstone, she would wed
him if there was no other option.
 
He
had a fortune and a title, after all.
 
But she was still holding out hope for the duke.

Jane knew her sister was bound to
be disappointed.
 
The Little Season had
ended and Hathaway had not called upon her.
 
Not even once.
 
Then again, after
that first night at Ardenton's, neither had Sebastian.
 
It gave Lizzie several fits of the vapors
and lifted Jane's spirits just a tiny bit.
 
A part of her secretly hoped that Sebastian had changed his mind and
would not be marrying Lizzie after all.

Therefore, when Sebastian and his
mother had appeared at the front door of Blackstone just in time for the
beginning of the house party, it was something of a shock.
 
For everyone.
 
But especially for Jane.
 
The last little bit of hope she had harbored died in her chest as she
looked into those magnificent eyes of his and knew that he was lost to her
forever.

The dinner that first night had
been painful for everyone and ruled with an iron fist by Sebastian's mother,
the current - and soon to be dowager - Duchess of Covington.
 
There was no question that she viewed Lizzie
as the perfect choice for her son.
 
Jane
it had been announced - much to her surprise and horror - would be leaving
Blackstone the day after Christmas to become a governess in the Scottish Highlands
to a laird and his brood of unruly children.
 
It was also made clear that she was never even considered as a candidate
for Sebastian's bride.

Apparently not even by Sebastian
himself.
 
In fact, it was as if she as a
complete stranger to him.
 
That first
night over dinner, as Sebastian turned those soulful brown eyes towards her
sister, Jane felt as if she was being sliced in two.
 
Each word he spoke to Lizzie while his back was turned to Jane
was like a small nick at her veins.
 
By
the time dinner was over, she felt as if she had been flayed alive.
 
She had pleaded a megrim after dinner and
had escaped to her room.
 
For all the
good that it had done her.