At Any Cost (8 page)

She cast a sidelong glance at their server who wore an ear-to-ear grin. No doubt he expected everyone at the table—including himself—to be pleased with the outcome of tonight's meals. Nick found himself wanting to spend money on Livy. To buy her things she needed or simply wanted. To wine and dine her, to make her feel lavished with attention. Had anyone ever spoiled her? Had Joel? Or had he simply hurt her? Done something so horrible to her that she'd had no choice but to run and hide.

The thought sent Nick's temper into a sudden and unexpected tailspin.

“And for you . . . ?”

Nick looked up into the expectant face of their server as though he'd only realized the guy was standing there. “Oh, um, I'll have the Elk chop with purple potatoes.”

“That's one of my favorites,” he said. “Totally a local specialty.” Nick had a feeling that he'd missed more than one question from their server while he'd been lost in his thoughts. He raised his brows in question and he added, “Did you want to start off with any appetizers, or just the entrees?”

He had said he wanted his credit card to cry. Obviously their server felt as though they'd barely made it break a sweat. Nick took a quick glance over the menu. “We'll start with the steamed mussels and the duck meatballs.”

“Great!” He perked up with every item added to their ticket. “I'll get the apps started and I'll be back to refresh your drinks in a bit.”

“What did you order?” Nick couldn't believe that he'd lost himself so completely in his thoughts. Finding Meecum had become his obsession, but now that he knew the one woman who could lead him to the bastard, his focus had slowly begun to shift. He needed to get his damned head back in the game.

“The lobster linguine,” Livy said with chagrin. “I hope that's okay.”

Nick had been so preoccupied with the woman seated across from him that he hadn't even bothered for more than a cursory glance at the menu. “Of course it's okay,” he replied. He'd come to the conclusion that Livy didn't appreciate people spending money on her. Why? “I told you we were going all out tonight. I want the full culinary experience.”

“You're gonna get it,” she said with a laugh. “Elk chops?”

He smiled. “You heard our server, it's a local specialty.”

Nick tried to steer their conversation back to Livy's life. Not only because he was looking for something to get him closer to Meecum, but because he found himself greedy for every little detail. He wanted to know
everything
about her. Every tiny nuance. Livy wasn't having it.

“Nope. Enough about me.” She'd slipped once tonight and it became apparent that it wasn't going to happen again. She didn't waste any time in shutting him down. “I want to know more about you. What's it like to take down the bad guys every day?”

Her tone showed genuine interest. Not exactly what you'd expect from someone who kept company with assholes who harbored nothing but disdain for law enforcement.

“It's amazing,” Nick said. He wanted Livy to trust him. To be honest with him. It was going to take more than a one-sided exchange of personal details to get it done. He looked away and raked a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I take it a little too personally.”

“Why?”

Nick couldn't bring himself to meet Livy's gaze. The softly spoken word made his gut knot up tight. His mind was at war with his emotions and he wasn't sure which he wanted to win.

“My sister was assaulted when she was in high school.” Nick wanted to open up to Livy, but he couldn't go deeper than that. Despite the time that had passed, even thinking about what had happened to Lindsey sent him into a rage. “It was pretty bad. I want to make sure that never happens on my watch. Somebody does wrong, I'm going to do
everything
in my power to make sure they stand accountable for it.”

Livy's expression softened with a deep sadness. Her wide hazel eyes drank him in and when he allowed himself to meet her gaze, his breath stalled in his lungs. Her lips parted on a sigh and Nick gripped the edge of the table to keep from reaching out and brushing his thumb against her petal-soft bottom lip.

“You're not what I expected, Nick.”

Neither are you
. Maybe they'd both gotten more than they'd bargained for.

Chapter Eight

Dinner passed in a blur. Livy had resisted the urge more than once to poke herself with her fork, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Four years. One thousand, four hundred and sixty days of loneliness. Of being afraid. Of looking over her shoulder. Of being so goddamned tense that her muscles never stopped aching. One evening with Nick erased all of it. Almost made her feel . . .
normal
.

Now that their evening was winding down, Livy's shoulders no longer felt as though they crept toward her ears. She hadn't obsessively checked behind her once. Not a passing thought had been given to her house and whether or not she'd remembered to lock all of the windows and doors. She could have stayed at the restaurant all night. Sitting with Nick, talking about nothing and everything, sipping wine and simply enjoying his company. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so comfortable with another person. Especially with a man.

Nick wasn't a dirty cop. He wasn't on the take. He didn't have an agenda. He was a good guy. Honorable. With every minute spent in his company, Livy became more convinced that he was someone she could trust. Maybe even someone who could help her. It was dangerous to let her guard down like that, but she couldn't help herself. Nick made her want to trust. To finally let someone in. She wanted him despite her own self-imposed rules and safeguards.

But Livy knew better. She couldn't allow herself to want anything or anyone. Nick made her forget the very real danger in her life and the
very
dangerous man who would never stop looking for her. She'd gotten a glimpse of what a normal life could be and it further strengthened her resolve to pack up and find a new place to settle down.

Livy clutched the cardboard box that contained the rest of her cheesecake close to her body as Nick rounded the front of his truck. She caught his profile in the glow of the headlights and a rush of delicious heat raced through her veins. The food had been too good, the dessert too decadent, and the wine too heady. It left Livy feeling a little too brazen. She wanted to do something irresponsible for a change. She wanted to be reckless.

With Nick.

The dome light came on when he opened her door. Cold flooded the cab of the truck and she shivered, but Livy wasn't sure if her reaction was from the winter wind or the man who stood in the open space beside her, close enough to touch.

“Are you a nice guy, Nick?” The question left her lips, unbidden. Too late to suck them back in, Livy gauged his reaction from the furrow of his brow to the set of his jaw.

“No.” He didn't bullshit her though, and that earned him a few points no matter the tremor of fear that settled in her belly. “Not really. Do you want to know why I'm on vacation, Livy?”

Did she? Despite the cold that soaked through her coat and permeated her skin, Livy stayed put. “Why?”

“Because I don't follow orders well.” The dark timbre of his voice heated Livy from the inside out. “My coworkers think I'm a reckless, pigheaded pain in the ass. My chief told me to take a month off, to think about what I wanted and to come back with a clear head, ready to follow orders. And you know what? Nothing's going to change. I'm going to go back and continue to be the same disagreeable asshole I was before he kicked me out of his office. Because I have to be. Because those violent sons of bitches out on the streets aren't going to change. I'll keep going, until I put as many of those bastards in cuffs as I can and I'll do whatever it takes to get it done.”

A knot lodged in Livy's chest. “That doesn't make you a bad guy, Nick.”

“Maybe not,” he said with a derisive snort. “But it probably doesn't make me a good cop.”

He thought he was a bad cop? Livy wanted to laugh out loud. It seemed strange to be having this conversation while they sat out in the cold, but somehow it was easier for Livy to talk to him in the low light that shadowed his handsome face. “Have you ever taken a bribe, Nick? Planted or tampered with evidence? Blackmailed someone?” She swallowed down the fear that coated her throat. “Threatened someone?”

His lips thinned. “No.”

“Then you're
not
a bad cop.”

Nick leveled his gaze and Livy found herself helpless to look away. “What do you know about bad cops?”

His tone wasn't angry or even accusing. More concerned. It cut through her. “I . . .” But it didn't mean she was ready to put her full trust in him either. “Nothing. I mean, that's how bad cops are on TV. They're not interested in taking down the bad guy, just serving their own interests.”

Nick's shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly as though he'd expected a different answer. That couldn't have been the case, though. Nick couldn't possibly know anything about her. She'd made damned sure that no one would. Olivia Gallagher was a ghost. And when she left McCall—which would be soon—Livy would stay behind and some other woman would take her place. Strange, but she almost mourned the imposing “death” of a person who didn't exist. She liked Livy. Livy wasn't bitter. Or disappointed. Livy's dreams hadn't been squashed before they'd even had a chance to take flight. Livy didn't have expectations and enjoyed her simple life. Livy went on dates with gorgeous cops and ate lobster and cheesecake.

Nick reached out and took her hand. They'd been out in the cold for a good fifteen minutes but his skin was warm as it covered hers. A comfort that caused her heart to race and butterflies to take flight in her stomach.

Maybe it was the wine or the euphoria of their dinner date that caused her brain to buzz and her body to hum. Or maybe it was simply Nick. His overwhelming presence was more effective at getting her drunk than an entire bottle of too expensive wine.

“You're shivering.” His voice was a warm caress. It wasn't the cold that made her tremble. “Let's get you inside.”

Livy couldn't form the words to respond so she merely nodded.

He didn't let go of her hand after he helped her out of the truck. Instead, Nick held on tighter as though afraid she'd pull away. Not a chance. She wanted his warmth, the sense of security he lent her without even trying. The reassurance of his presence. They walked up the snowy steps in silence and Livy reached into her pocket to retrieve her keys. For the first time in four years, she unlocked the deadbolt without checking first to make sure it was still locked.

Livy opened the door and glanced up at Nick from beneath lowered lashes. She worried the inside of her cheek as she battled the indecision that caused her stomach to churn. It's not like he'd never been in her house before. But this was different. She was different. In just over a week, Nick had managed to change her. He'd made her want more than what she'd settled for. What did it matter if she reached out and took it just this once? Nick would be headed back to Bellevue in a few weeks and Livy would be moving soon. What would it hurt this once to give in and allow herself some small comfort?

“You're not a bad guy, Nick,” Livy said, low. “You're one of the good ones.”

He reached up with his free hand and brushed his fingertips along her temple. Livy broke out into delicious chills that hardened her nipples and heated her blood. Her breath quickened as he closed the distance between them. His chest brushed hers and she had to angle her head upward to look at him. Nick's brows drew down sharply over his dark eyes and his jaw squared. “You think I'm a good guy, Livy?”

“I know you are.”

His expression grew even darker. “Don't be so sure.”

Nick's mouth descended on hers in a crushing kiss. Livy's world spun out of control and if not for the arm he wrapped around her waist, her legs might have slipped out from under her. His intensity stole her breath as he pulled her hard against his body and slanted his mouth over hers to deepen the kiss. His tongue thrust past her lips, a command that she part for him, one that Livy couldn't resist. She wanted him with a desperation that caused her to tremble in his embrace.

Livy's free arm wound around Nick's neck. He urged her backward and she took one slow step after another. The sound of the door closing behind them barely registered as he guided her into the living room. He tugged at her coat and Livy let go of him to set her left over cheesecake down and shrug out of her coat. It fell to the floor and a moment later, his landed beside it. When he took her in his arms once again, the heat of his body met hers and Livy sighed. It had been so long since she'd had this kind of contact and it brought tears to her eyes. If she let this go any further, it might break her.

And yet, she did nothing to stop it.

Nick cupped the back of her neck with one large palm. His fingers threaded through her hair as he claimed her mouth once again. He kissed her with all of the desperation and hunger that Livy felt and then some. She'd never realized this sort of searing heat existed. Livy knew it would consume her but she didn't care. She welcomed the lick of flames that Nick ignited within her. She wanted more, wanted to
burn
.

Alone is better than dead
. For once, she didn't buy into her own lies.

* * *

A good man wouldn't be doing what Nick was right now. If Livy thought he was anything other than a sorry bastard, she was kidding herself. He was on the job, for shit's sake. Whether officially or not, he was a marshal investigating a lead. Investigating Livy. And rather than keep a respectable—professional—distance, he'd given in to his own damned selfish wants.

He wanted Livy. Had wanted her since the first time he'd laid eyes on her.

Her hair slipped through his fingers like strands of silk. A hint of wine lingered on her lips and Nick deepened their kiss so he could taste the sweetness of her mouth. Her tongue wound with his in a warm, wet glide that hardened his cock to stone behind his fly. Livy was soft, sweet, and at the same time strong and full of fire. Beautiful. He wanted to be inside of her so badly that he hurt.

Nick urged her toward the couch and eased her down to the cushions. Never breaking their kiss, he followed her down and settled between her thighs. He brushed against her core and the not-so-innocent contact set him on fire. His cock throbbed hot and hard and his gut knotted up. As though he had no control over his own body, his hips gave a gentle thrust. Livy's answering moan only served to encourage him and he thrust again, harder.

She nipped at his bottom lip before drawing it into her mouth and sucking. A tingle of sensation raced down his spine and settled in his sac. He wanted the heat of her mouth and those petal-soft lips wrapped around the head of his cock. The last remaining shred of Nick's common sense tugged at the back of his mind, urging him to take a minute to think about what the fuck he was doing. Career suicide wasn't on his to-do list, but he'd already disobeyed a direct order by using his mandatory time off to hunt Joel Meecum. He was already damned, what would one more sin matter?

Nick abandoned Livy's mouth and let his lips wander the path along her jawline to her ear. His tongue flicked out at the lobe and she arched into him. The press of her breasts against his chest was torture. There were far too many clothes between them, a problem Nick planned to remedy ASAP.

“Livy.” His voice rasped in his throat. “Are you sure about this?”

He hoped that she'd tell him to stop. That she'd change her mind and ask for a little space. Anything to keep him from taking what he wanted and at the same time violating every code of conduct he'd ever laid out for himself. Livy made him want to douse all of his stubborn convictions with gasoline and light a match. He was counting on her to be the voice of reason because his had gone silent the moment his lips met hers.

“No.” Her voice quavered on the word. “But that's what makes it so perfect.”

He felt the same way. It was the impetuousness of the moment, the sudden bright fire of passion that made it so great. Not knowing what would happen next and not caring was what Nick lived for. It quickened his blood, just like the woman in his arms. He was addicted to the thrill of the chase, of the capture. Being with Livy was no different. He wouldn't be satisfied until she was his.

Nick kissed her temple, down her jawline, the pulse point below her ear. He scraped his teeth over the delicate skin at her throat and flicked out at her fragrant skin with his tongue. He wanted to take his time, savor Livy. Enjoy every moment with her in case he came to his senses and tonight was all they'd have together. He could be Nick, a guy on vacation, and she could be Livy, a small-town ski instructor. Tonight, he'd let himself believe the lie because tomorrow, he'd have to face the harsh reality of their truths once again.

Hungry for bare flesh, Nick let his hand wander down Livy's torso. He dragged the hem of her shirt up before his hand ducked beneath the fabric. Livy let out a slow sigh that ended on a whimper as his palm met her heated skin. He kissed her collarbone and the swell of one breast that rose above the low cut of her shirt. Little pants of breath escaped from between Livy's parted lips as Nick dragged his palm slowly up her torso. She was so warm, so soft, and everywhere their skin met little sparks of electricity ignited.

“That feels so good, Nick.” The husky words sent a rush of adrenaline through his body. “It's been so long—” She bit the word off and he paused as a seed of common sense took root in his brain. She was a fugitive for all he knew, an associate of one of the most violent criminals Nick had ever investigated. Livy changed course, the words so quiet he had to strain to hear them. “I feel safe with you. I haven't felt safe in a long time.”

His resolve crumbled under the onslaught of emotion that rose in his chest. He put his mouth to hers. A slow, gentle kiss that was nothing more than a glance of his lips against hers. Livy arched up to meet him. The muscles in her abdomen twitched and flexed as his palm continued its unhurried path up her torso. He cupped her breast through the fabric of her bra, brushing the pad of his thumb over her nipple. It hardened to a tight bead beneath the fabric and Nick brushed it again.