Assumed Engagement (22 page)

Elizabeth
looked down and gently shook her head as she heard her mother's misinformation to the Gardiners regarding how they happened to go to
Pemberley
.

"I remember
Pemberley
as a child. Growing up in Lambton, just five miles away, we were very much aware of the prosperity that estate lent to our small town. I never knew the family, just of them. They were apparently very well esteemed."

She looked at
Elizabeth
and smiled, noting something peculiar in her niece's expression. "It is a shame that the new master is not as gracious as his father was."

"Oh, but he is." It was Jane this time, coming to Darcy's defence. "He is most good-natured and kind, as well as his sister. I think we have all been under the most incorrect presumption about him. Charles even shared with me that he and his sister make regular visits to those less fortunate than themselves. They both have a very generous spirit." Jane looked at
Lizzy
and noticed a startled look upon her face.

"And what is your opinion of the man,
Lizzy
?" asked Mrs. Gardiner, sensing something from
Elizabeth
that she could not quite make out.

Initially,
Elizabeth
knew not what she should say, as she had been arguing this very point in her mind for months now. "I know… that when he was here in Hertfordshire, he appeared to us all as being arrogant. But he does seem to have the respect of many people, including his sister and Mr. Bingley.  Unfortunately, when he awakened from his coma while we were there, I did not stay long enough to form a complete, accurate opinion of him."

Conveniently for
Elizabeth
the conversation turned elsewhere and she was left with her own thoughts. She knew that he and Georgiana had most likely arrived at
Netherfield
by now. Her heart fluctuated between skipping a beat in anticipation of seeing Georgiana again and beating thunderously as she contemplated seeing her brother again. It was now less than a day away.

Mrs. Gardiner eyed her second eldest niece with a guarded look of suspicion, wondering what, indeed, her
heartfelt
opinion of him was.

*~*~*

Elizabeth
did not sleep well at all that night. When she came to her room that evening, she pulled out the letter she had just received from Georgiana. It was short, but sweet. She looked over the words she had written.
Dearest Elizabeth,

How soon it shall be before we arrive! My brother tells me we should arrive the Wednesday before the wedding. I wish it could have been sooner, but there is some business he needs to tend to that prevents us from coming earlier. I look forward to visiting with you.

I would like to request some time with you alone, if you might spare it. I do not know what plans you have. I know that you will probably be quite busy before the wedding, but if you can make some time for me, I should like to pay you a call. I am quite unsure how long we will stay. My brother has said he will have to wait and see. I suppose it could be just through the weekend, or possibly longer. I am hoping it is longer.

Our cousin, Fitzwilliam, was here recently and he talked very animatedly about you. We had some good laughs at my brother's expense. I believe, after all these years, he is finally learning to laugh at himself, if only just a little, without losing too much dignity. It would have been wiser for him to have learned this years ago, as it would have lessened by cousin’s enjoyment in teasing him so.

This letter shall be short, as we shall soon be in each other's company. My brother has most emphatically expressed the wish to extend his gratitude to you for all you did here a few months back. Again, you cannot know how much your presence here meant. He sends his warmest greeting.
With fond anticipation of our forthwith reunion,
&c, Georgiana

Elizabeth
wondered at those words from her brother.
Could he be making certain she knew that now he merely felt gratitude toward her, as Caroline had suggested? But what was this - his warmest greeting?
Such conflicting pieces of information, how could she assess what it really meant?

Putting aside the letter, she climbed into her bed and tried to calm herself down. Her thoughts assaulted her and her nerves were taut. She tossed and turned, weighing every argument she could conceive both in his favour and against. By early morning she had resigned herself to simply wait and see, but she was certain he most likely would be the same man as he had been when he was here before.

She knew he felt disdain for her family and their behaviour. He had said so in his letter to her. She had witnessed him on more than one occasion walk away in disgust at something her mother or other member of her family said or did. She imagined that he would conveniently stay close to his sister, the
Bingleys
, and the
Hursts
, avoiding her family and friends as much as possible. And if that were the case, she could have no part of him. But why did that make her heart ache so much?

Chapter 15

     W
hen morning broke,
Elizabeth
was not yet ready to rise. She heard stirrings from other parts of the house; her mother's voice above all others. She could ascertain from her mother's tone that she was frantically giving orders; orders that, she was certain, did not need to be given, as the house staff usually did a very proficient job.

Elizabeth
tugged off the blankets that covered her and she stretched her arms high above her, releasing an awakening yawn. She finally pulled herself out of bed and brought herself to her dressing table and looked in the mirror. "Oh!" she exclaimed as looked at herself. "Not good at all!" She eyed the dark circles under her eyes and hoped that time and some fresh air would help. She brushed out her hair, rinsed her face, and looked in the mirror again. Shaking her head half-heartedly, she proceeded to get dressed.

As she went downstairs, the clamour that her mother was creating by her rants and ravings was, in
Elizabeth
’s opinion, causing more problems than solving them. She saw that her father's study was door closed, so she knocked on it softly.

"Come in," he answered softly.

Elizabeth
opened the door and walked in, just as another one of Mrs.
Bennet's
overtures could be heard throughout the house. Both she and her father looked at each other with one mirroring eyebrow raised in consternation. "I sense that this is what things will be like for the next few days."

Elizabeth
nodded, looking down. "Father…"
Elizabeth
paused, not knowing how to say what she wanted so much to say.

"What is it, my dear
Lizzy
?"

"Is there any way that you can talk to Mother, about… well tonight… at the dinner. Is there any way someone can talk to her about behaving a little more dignified than usual?" Her head went down, causing her to have to look up at her father with raised eyebrows as she awaited his response.

"I really do not know what good it would do, my sweet. But if you insist, I shall make every endeavour to please you. Perhaps she can get it all out of her today, before everyone arrives. What say you to that?"

"Anything is worth hoping for!"
Elizabeth
sighed. "I just feel that with all those who will be here tonight, if she could just be on her best… well, if she could just behave properly."

"I will see what I can do!"

"Thank you, Papa." She turned to exit the study, steeling herself for what she knew would be a terribly stressful day. As she stepped out, she was grateful to see her aunt walking past.

"Oh,
Lizzy
, you have finally risen. I have been waiting for you to come down. Shall we get something to eat, and then, how about a little walk?"

"That sounds wonderful, Aunt!" replied a delighted
Elizabeth
.

They went in to eat; most everyone else having eaten already. She looked at the clock and saw that it was ten o'clock. She rarely slept in this late. Her aunt noticed that she looked fatigued, as if she had not slept well. "Let me get you some tea," offered her aunt. "It will do wonders for you."

"I think this morning I need a little something special."
Elizabeth
walked over to the sideboard and pulled out some chamomile tea, adding a little honey, a touch of cream, and a small peppermint candy, which soon began to dissolve.

"Your special remedy, I see."

"Ah, yes. It is both soothing to calm the nerves, but the peppermint adds just the right refreshment to pick you up."

Elizabeth
ate very little, but savoured her special cup of tea. Her stomach felt all tied up in knots, and she hoped this would help. When she finished the cup of tea, she stood up with her aunt and they linked arms as they took a turn outdoors.

They walked in silence at first,
Elizabeth
making only inconsequential conversation. As they reached the end of the drive, Mrs. Gardiner turned to her and took her hand in hers. "Tell me,
Lizzy
. Is there something you wish to talk with me about?" She paused, giving her niece time to think about it. "You appear a little less spirited than normal; I just wondered if anything was amiss."

"Oh, no, nothing is wrong." The flinch
Elizabeth
allowed to cross her face betrayed her true answer.

Mrs. Gardiner squeezed her hand. "
Lizzy
, if you do not want to talk about it, I will understand. But you know I have always been able to read you, and I am quite sure something is on your mind. I am available to hear you out, whatever you might be feeling."

"I do appreciate that, Aunt. You know that I have always been grateful to you for that. It is just that, well, I have been having a difficult time lately sorting out my feelings about a particular… subject. I have always thought I could so rightly determine the character of anyone -- of anything. I am just having more of a difficult time of it now, than usual."

Her aunt looked upon
Elizabeth
was much understanding. "
Lizzy
, perhaps when strong feelings get in the way, what we try to determine in our head does not make much sense. You either need to listen to your head or your heart, but whichever you listen to more, make sure it is the right one."

Elizabeth
longed to tell her all, but not with the object of her confusion coming to their home that night. This would be all the details she could now give her, yet her few words spoke a considerable amount to her aunt.

*~*~*

As the time of the dinner neared,
Elizabeth
went to her room to ready herself. She perused her wardrobe, looking for just the right dress to wear. Everything suddenly looked dull to her. She thought of Mr. Darcy, as he would be so handsome in vest and jacket, and nothing that she owned would come close to the elegance that he would most likely be used to. She finally selected a blue dress which, when worn, often solicited comments about how it brought out the flecks of blue in her eyes.

She took down her hair and called for Sara, one of the younger maids, to help her put it up again. Sara came in with ribbons and gardenia petals, weaving them throughout her hair. When she had completed her task,
Elizabeth
went to the mirror and was relatively pleased with what she saw; at least she no longer looked weary. Looking down at her hands, however, she noticed they were shaking.
This will never do.
She had to calm down, or at least appear on the outside that she was calm. She would go downstairs and make herself another cup of her tea before anyone arrived.

Before leaving her room, she picked up her bottle of gardenia toilet water from her dressing table and lightly dabbed some on her wrists and neck. It was always so soothing for her to breathe in that flowery scent. The petals themselves were fragrant, but she could not smell them up in her hair. Sitting down, she closed her eyes and took in some slow, deep breaths. She brought her hand to her heart, bringing her fingers to her neck and holding it there ever so firmly, as if to compel her heart to stop its incessant pounding.

At length she knew she could delay the inevitable no longer. She must go downstairs and be available to greet the guests as they arrived. She shuddered unwittingly as a chill ran through her body. As she walked out of her door, she was joined by her sister, who was completely at ease and utterly calm. They took each other's hands, and as they walked down the stairs, Jane turned to
Elizabeth
.

"
Lizzy
, are you ready for this evening?"

"To be honest, I am quite nervous. I just wish the evening were over with." Jane gave
Elizabeth
a smile that was most genuine and heartfelt.
Elizabeth
returned one that was more forced.

Immediately after coming downstairs,
Elizabeth
poured herself a cup of tea and slowly sipped it in the dining room. She walked over to the tables and noticed that Darcy had been placed across from her. As she contemplated this, she tipped the cup and gulped down the rest of the tea. Why was her heart still pounding so?

Just as
Elizabeth
came back out to join the others, her Aunt and Uncle Phillips arrived. They were greeted by their mother with much enthusiasm. Mrs.
Bennet
was well pleased that they were the first guests to arrive.

They joined the Gardiners in conversation and
Elizabeth
saw the door open. Her heartbeat pounded in her chest until she saw that it was the
Lucases
. They entered, but Mr. and Mrs. Collins did not accompany them. They made the apology that Charlotte and her husband had just arrived from
Hunsford
. They were freshening up and would be joining them later. How
Elizabeth
wished
Charlotte
was there with her now.

Elizabeth
was talking with her Aunt and Uncle Phillips when she noticed Bingley walk in. Her heart momentarily stopped as she watched for the rest of his party. His sisters Caroline and Louisa and Mr. Hurst followed him, along with Georgiana. A few dreadfully long seconds later, Mr. Darcy finally appeared. As he entered the room he quickly scanned it; his eyes coming to rest on
Elizabeth
. It seemed as though the sight of her arrested his forward movement. He came to a brief stop as his tall frame passed through the door.

Mr. and Mrs.
Bennet
promptly greeted the whole party, along with an elated Jane. Bingley's smile did not depart his face as he greeted Jane and her family. The
Bennets
turned to introduce the party to the Gardiners. Darcy stepped forward to greet the
Bennets
and introduce his sister. She very graciously came forward to meet
Elizabeth
's parents, greet Jane, and then walked over to
Elizabeth
, holding out her hands to her.

"How are you, Georgiana?" As
Elizabeth
took her hands, she pulled her close and gave her a quick hug.

"It is so good to see you again,
Elizabeth
. My you smell simply delicious! Is that by any chance gardenia?"

"Yes, it is! My favourite scent."

"And a favourite around
Pemberley
also. You smell just like the fresh gardenias that line the front entry to our home."

Elizabeth
looked at her quizzically as if trying to recall. "I do not remember any gardenias there. How odd! I am quite surprised I did not notice them."

Elizabeth
suddenly felt herself grow flushed as she became aware of someone standing directly behind her. She heard the sound of a breath being taken in, and she slowly turned.

"Miss Elizabeth. Good evening." Darcy said as he slowly exhaled.

"Good evening, Mr. Darcy."

"It is good to see you again. I hope you are well."

"Yes, I am. Thank you. May I add that you are looking much improved from the last time I saw you."

"For that I am grateful. I regret that when you took leave of
Pemberley
, I neglected to thank you for all you did while you were there. You were a great help to my sister and also, apparently, to me."

"That is kind of you, Sir. I only did what needed to be done."

He stared at
Elizabeth
for a moment, took in a deep breath, and then turned to Georgiana, raising his eyebrows as if he was unsure what else to say.

Georgiana gave him a reassuring smile and addressed
Elizabeth
. "I understand that you will be standing up for your sister at her wedding. My brother is…"