Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice (4 page)

There's no competition in heaven, because there are no needs. No one needs money, houses, cars, prestige, or employment. So no one tricks or manipulates you. Why would they, when there's nothing to gain? Besides, all truth is palpable and apparent in heaven, so there's no way to deceive others.

In heaven, everyone feels supported and respected for who they are. Kindness and consideration prevail, and there's infinite patience. Everyone behaves lovingly toward everyone else, as most people have reached the spiritual realization of oneness, so they know that how they treat others is actually how they're treating themselves.

Imagine
. . .

The Recruitment Process

So there you are in heaven, relaxing and doing your work and feeling so good because you are entirely loved. And then one day recruiters arrive, asking you to return to Earth for a very important mission that only you can fulfill. At first you balk at their request. After all, the last time you were on Earth, people weren't that nice to you.

You recall past lifetimes when you were also an Earth Angel. And throughout history, Earth Angels, with their spiritual gifts of healing and teaching, have often been misunderstood. In fact, there was at least one lifetime when you were accused of witchcraft because of your spiritual healing gifts. You were persecuted, and your death was not easy.

So when the recruiters are asking you to return to Earth, you're not excited about the prospect. You inquire whether you can simply send prayers and guidance to earthly people from your heavenly vantage point.

The recruiters bow their heads and sigh. They explain to you that people often don't listen to their guides or angels. They say that Earth Angels are needed in human bodies, because people only listen to other people.

The recruiters show you how you can benefit by going to Earth. After all, Earth gives you the opportunity to learn and grow and heal any fears that you held previously. On this plane you have the opportunity to feel deeply both physically and emotionally. You also have the experience of duality, where you get to encounter the darkness and the light.

Besides, the recruiters explain, they
need
you on Earth. They need you to guide people who aren't as aware and experienced as you are.

So reluctantly, you agree to come back to Earth in a human form. With the help of your guides and the recruiters, every part of your life is mapped out ahead of time. Of course you have freewill choices about everything, but the guides are very influential in urging you to balance your karma with certain people. So you agree to have them as your parents, friends, and partners. You've been with these souls in other lifetimes. And it's essential that you clear any unforgiveness, fear, or anger that you might harbor in those relationships. Spiritual growth also calls for you to take 100 percent responsibility for everything that you see, feel, and think.

The Original Trauma

After you're born, you look around as a baby for that unconditional love that you had in heaven. Your parents love you, but like all earthly humans, their hearts are partially closed. Your parents, like all people, have fears that block them from the full experience of love.

You immediately go into withdrawal, like an addict quitting drugs cold-turkey.
Where's the love? Where's the love?
is your panicked cry, as you desperately seek that delicious feeling of heavenly bliss and joy. Your parents do their best to keep you happy, but you unconsciously know that something's missing.

For your entire life, you seek that feeling of unconditional love. You meet someone and think,
This is it!
You believe that each new person is the source of the love you desperately seek.

Deep down, you remember how you felt in heaven. There, you felt completely accepted for who you are. You felt lighthearted, optimistic, carefree, and completely loved and loving.

Most of all, you felt safe. In heaven, there was no sense of stress, strain, or danger. Everyone was trustworthy, and no one wanted anything from you, except for you to be happy.

Doesn't that sound heavenly?

So you spend a lifetime looking for that sense of approval, safety, peace, and love. You may find that feeling temporarily in relationships, food, alcohol, or drugs. Some people encounter this bliss when they're in nature, exercising, having sex, shopping, or engaged in a creative process. For most, it's fleeting.

What's helpful to know is that we can never entirely replicate heaven's high vibrations in our earthly world of duality. We can come very close, and we can have pockets of moments where we're one with love. But it's unrealistic to think that we can maintain that state at all times.

The best you can do is to keep the doorway to heaven open in your heart. This allows you to have a continual warm feeling of love every day, no matter what's going on in your life or in the world.

In meditation one day, I heard and felt the presence of Archangel Michael. He explained the importance of enjoying life, no matter what's going on. He said that very often, we put our happiness in the future. We think that happiness is conditional, based upon certain achievements, such as earning enough money, accolades, or approval; losing weight; getting married; buying a new house; being published; or some other accomplishment. While those experiences can be very exciting and fulfilling, they still don't replicate that complete feeling of safety and approval that we have when we're in heaven.

You get close to those heavenly feelings when you're balancing giving and receiving. When you're only giving, you're excluding yourself from the sense that you deserve and need love, too. So it's a matter of focusing upon service and giving from your soul, and also giving to yourself.

Pure Giving

The only form of giving that leads to spiritual growth and true peace is when you give because you're guided to. Doing so because you feel guilty, sorry for someone, or obligated is giving from a place of fear. That means you'd be acting from your lower self, and the gift—whether it's time, money, help, advice, support, or love—would be tainted with the lower frequencies of that guilt, fear, or obligation energy.

As Earth Angels, we're here to give, help, and heal. And the
reason why we give
is the difference between creating a life of joy for ourselves and others . . . and living like a victim or martyr in misery:

• If you're giving because you hope that you'll be appreciated and loved for all that you do, you'll constantly feel disappointed that you're not getting as much in return as you gave. You'll also have an empty feeling that people love you for what you can do for them, instead of for who you are.
  
• If you're giving in order to keep someone from being angry with you, then you'll always feel nervous, like you have to walk on eggshells in case that person, despite your efforts, still decides to be upset with you.
  
• If you're giving because you hope that the person will help you in return, you'll always feel guilty that your true intentions were impure. You'll also feel hurt when the other person doesn't reciprocate.
  

Only give because you truly are happy to do so. In that experience, you'll find your heavenly bliss. In fact, a good rule to live by is:

Never do anything unless you want to. Either don't do the action, or go meditate and pray until you can shift your mind-set to one of happiness toward it
.

CHAPTER TWO

HOW
TO BE
ASSERTIVE

A
s a peace-loving, gentle person, you may have learned to avoid conflict at all costs. You just go along with someone's bad idea rather than stand up to him or her and risk an argument. This style of living gives you a sense of control over your life, because deep down
you
know you're not really agreeing with the person. It's as if you're leading two lives: one on the surface, with your behavior; and the other beneath, with your true feelings and opinions.

In some cases, Earth Angels have numbed themselves so much in order to cooperate with others that they've completely disconnected from their own opinions. They don't know how they feel or what they think about anything, because they're so accustomed to being
told
what to do, feel, and think. Sometimes, tragically, this is because of an abusive situation where they fear for their physical safety, so they comply with their abusers' wishes in order to survive.

Still other Earth Angels are conflict-phobic because they're shy and don't want to call attention to themselves. They'd rather remain invisible, so they almost never speak up for themselves. And when they
do
, people don't hear or notice them.

The trouble with these coping styles is that if you don't let people know how you feel, they'll incorrectly assume that everything's okay.
People won't know how you really feel or think unless you tell them
.

In addition, assertiveness means that you're clear, honest, and direct with others. Hinting at how you feel and hoping the other person gets the hint never works. This is a guarantee that you'll always feel ignored and misunderstood. Instead of hinting, you have to clearly communicate your feelings.

You may worry that if you're truthful, people will leave you. But the truth is that
you'll
be the one to leave, if you don't muster up the courage to be honest. If you don't tell the other person how you really feel, the relationship will be unbalanced and unhealthy, and you—as a highly sensitive person—won't want to stay.

Being conflict-phobic can also block you from fulfilling the very important mission you were born to do! In order to fulfill your lightwork, you need to reawaken and own your power!

If this sounds frightening or dangerous, please stay with me anyway. The fear is coming from your ego and past experiences. Fortunately, it isn't based upon reality as it relates to your future or your Divine mission.

Remember that if the earth were perfect, you and I wouldn't be needed here in physical form. We could have just stayed in heaven and sent prayers to everyone. But humans rarely hear their angels, or if they do, they wrestle with self-doubts. So we were sent to Earth to speak up and take other actions to enact God's will of peace. Being passive isn't in our job description.

Peace is our mission. And being peaceful is very different from being passive.

The Superwoman/Superman Syndrome of Earth Angels

As an Earth Angel, you possess certain “superpowers.” Some Earth Angels have a superpower of invisibility, for instance. This means that they can slip in and out of places and situations relatively unnoticed. Of course, the downside to having an invisibility superpower is that you're often ignored by waiters and waitresses, and even loved ones.

What's Your Superpower?

Every Earth Angel has something amazing that he or she is good at. Here are a few examples of Earth Angel superpowers:

• Healing
  
• Manifesting
  
• Breaking
  ^*
  or fixing electronics
  
• Animal communication
  
• Miraculous gardening abilities
  
• Weather magic
  
• Knowing instantly whether someone is being honest
  
• Foreseeing the future