Asphodel (16 page)

“Yes. I said don’t leave.” I can’t lie anymore. I can’t pretend that I want to go back to earth when I care for him so much more than the sun in the sky, the flowers growing in fields and the smell of clean air. I step toward him and brush my fingers over his shoulder. “Why are you leaving?”

His reaction to my touch startles me. His entire body stiffens. Then he turns and faces me. “I just thought this would be something you’d like to enjoy alone. I know how much you miss the earth and the sun,” he tells me.

But he’s wrong. I’d much rather enjoy all of this with him. “Why don’t you stay out here and enjoy this with me?”

He remains in his spot and doesn’t move. Secretly, I wish he would have jumped at the opportunity to spend the day with me, but he’s doing the exact opposite and it hurts. His actions cut deep like a butcher knife through the shoulder blade. I touch him again and he jumps. He’s acting like my touch repulses him and I don’t understand. He’s so hot and cold. One minute I think he feels the same way about me and the next he’s doing what he’s doing now. “Why would you bring me out here if you didn’t want to share it with me?”

Now I am determined to get to the bottom of this. Why in the name of the God’s did he take me if he’s spurned by my touch? And what about yesterday? Yesterday was beautiful. Yesterday was perfect. How could he go from that to this? He doesn’t answer my question. I stare at him, crossing my arms. “Well?”

He still doesn’t answer.

He’s obviously distracted. He’s somewhere else and from the look in his eye I can tell he wants to be anywhere, but here—with me. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes, but I suck them back and lower my voice. “Give me an answer.”

He gives me a vague answer. “I thought you would enjoy it.” He’s not even looking at me. He’s staring past me at the swaying grass in the open field.

A mixture of emotions swirl around inside of me and I know it’s only a matter of time before anger becomes the front-runner. I don’t want to be here anymore. The home-like feeling has vanished. The want of feeling the sun against my skin has vanished. I need to get out of here before this turns into a screaming match and I say thing I know I’ll regret. “Take me back.”

“I thought you were enjoying yourself?” he asks as a confused expression stretches over his face.

“I was enjoying myself. Now I want to go back,” I answer him with force. Then I storm past him, marching to the boat. There’s a part of me that wants to run back to him. A part of me that wants to crash into his arms and tell him everything I’m feeling. But I don’t because I’m nervous and frightened and I can’t help but feel like I’m swimming in uncharted waters.

Ever since we fled Greece I’d always felt like I’d lead a loveless life. I couldn’t date the mortals and no Olympians appealed to me. Adonis is only the tenth boy I’ve ever had a crush on in all my years of living. I have no idea what to do, say, or how to act when it comes to a relationship. To me, love is as terrifying and mysterious as the murky waters of the Styx.

Also, I’ve never been around a couple who is actually in love. My parents had never been together, so I’ve never seen them show affection toward each other. I have absolutely nothing to go off of. I am running blind.

I once heard someone say that love comes naturally. Well if it comes so naturally, why is Hades making it so damn difficult? Perhaps he hasn’t been in love either. I laugh out loud at my ridiculous assumption. Of course he has been in love what am I thinking? He has to have been.  He’s a God; he can have any woman he wants. I imagine that through the centuries he’s had many lovers or relationships. After thinking about that I go back to the same question I’ve asked myself at least a dozen times. Why does he want me, then? I know he wants me to be his companion, ruling the realm of the dead alongside him. But for some odd reason I don’t think he’d chase me for all this time if that was his only purpose. Hades doesn’t strike me as the type of God who has an unintended purpose for doing something.

After going over my theories I know the only way I’m going to get any real answers is if I ask him directly. So I stop and turn around only to discover that he’s not behind me. He’s vanished again. It shouldn’t shock me that he’s evaporated into thin air for what feels like the millionth time. But it does. It seems to me that he always chooses the worst times to disappear.

During that second, I find myself feeling empty. My eyes sweep over the abandoned field as tears spill onto my cheeks. Why is he doing this to me? That’s the only thing going through my mind. I think about throwing myself onto the ground and letting every tear that I ever cried pour out of me. But as I suck back my tears and turn on my heel, I see him, standing directly in front of me, blocking my path. I quickly wipe my tears away before he can notice, but I’m too late.

He gazes at me, a flicker of concern in his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

He’s always asking me that; is something wrong?
Yes! You! You’re what’s wrong!

Rage replaces the hurt and pain and I feel like a wild stallion. I am unglued—unhinged—and nothing or no one can keep me from breaking free. And I feel crazy too. The rage inside of me is making me crazy. “What’s wrong with you?” I snap. “Why do you keep doing that?” I walk toward him and ram my finger into his chest. “Why are you playing games with me? I told you, I hate games!”

A look of complete shock spreads across Hades calm, collected face. But he doesn’t move. “Doing what? What is wrong with you? I am not playing games.”

“You’re always appearing and reappearing! Always hot and cold! And you’re moody, too!”

He raises an eyebrow. “Moody?” He looks around me, staring at the ferry. “You make it sound like I’m a woman.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing if you are one.”

I slant my eyes, folding my arms across my chest. I’m fed up with his antics and the only thing I can think about is getting away from him. I brush past him and bump into his shoulder, making my way back to the ferry. Part of me is tempted to say one last thing, but when I turn and open my mouth my chest sinks. He’s gone.

Charon helps me onto the ferry and I take the same seat in the back that I took on the way to the Elysian Fields. Exhaling, I glance out into the murky waters as the plunking from the wooden oars slapping against the water infiltrates me ears. The sound soothes me and smothers the anger inside of me. I stare at Charon’s back. “Where did he go?”

“Master had duties to attend to,” he replies with a raspy drawl.

Figures. His duties come first. That’s how it will always be and I don’t know if I can handle that. I don’t know if I’ll be able to play second fiddle to his realm. I know it sounds selfish, but I want someone who has the time to spend with me. Someone who will lie with me underneath the stars and talk with me about anything and everything. I want us to be able to spend eternity devoted to each other.

And that’s something Hades and I will never be able to do.

A tear trickles down my cheek and I feel part of my love for Hades slide down my cheek with the tear. Then I begin sobbing, sobbing so hard an ache ripples through my ribcage and I have to stop and catch my breath. If loving someone else makes you feel like this all the time I’m not sure if it’s something I want. I’ve never felt more confused or hopeless in my entire life. Is this what my future has in store for me? Am I destined to spend eternity with a cold God who covets me, but doesn’t love me back? My sobbing escalates and I’m crying so hard I have to lean over the side of the ferry. There’s nothing in my stomach, but I throw up anyway, yellow bile and a clear liquid that tastes like sulfur.

“Are you okay, miss?” Charon shouts.

My voice trembles and I swallow the acidy after-taste. “Fine.”

Right now, the only person I want or need is my mom. She’d know exactly what to say to make feel better. But she’s not here and who knows where she is.

Demeter

D
emeter strolled along a sandy beach, kicking up sand and reminiscing about the summers she’d take Persephone to this very spot as a child. The memory of Persephone as a cherub-cheeked toddler, waddling through crystal blue waves panged her heart and she had to clutch her chest to keep the pain at bay.

“Come back!”

Demeter perked up at the sound of a female voice and glanced down as a child hobbled toward her, legs chubby, steps wobbly.

The mother ran after the child who was heading toward the ocean and Demeter intervened, sweeping the child up in her arms before he could make it to the water. “And where did you think you were going?” Demeter cooed as the child let out an infantile giggle.

The mother reached them, winded and held her hands out, reaching for her son. “Thank you so much,” she said in between breaths. “I only turned my back for a second.

Demeter handed the child over with a smile, but as soon as she did, she felt her sadness return. Not only was she the Goddess of the Harvest, but she was the Goddess of Fertility as well, so she had a soft spot for mothers and their children. “No problem.” The mother patted her child’s back and kissed his cheeks. “All it takes is a second, though.” That comment reminded her of the day her daughter was taken. She’d only dropped her guard for a second and she was gone.

“I know,” said the woman. “What’s your name? I’d like to thank you properly.”

“Demi.” That’s the name Demeter gave to the mortals on most occasions.

The mother extended her hand. “Metaneira. Mettie for short.” Demeter took her hand and shook it. “Thank you Demeter,” said Mettie. “From the bottom of my heart.”

“Anytime,” Demeter replied and watched Mettie and the child as they walked farther down the beach.

Later on, Demeter sat on a jagged rock, watching as the crystalline aqua waves of the Aegean crashed into the dusky sand. She closed her eyes and exhaled, swearing she could hear Persephone’s laugh echoing on the wind. It was an illusion of course, but Demeter swore that even though she and her child were apart that there would always be a little piece of Persephone with her at all times.

A whooshing sound pulled Demeter from her thoughts and she opened her eyes abruptly. Just in time to notice an eagle, magnificent and majestic soaring through the pale blue sky. The eagle nose-dived and curled up before slowly fluttering its wings and landing at her feet.

A smile tugged at her lips. “Hello, Zeus,” she said to the eagle.

A nano-second later the eagle transformed and Zeus stood before Demeter with his hands on his hips. “How did you know it was me?” he boomed with a smirk.

Demeter laughed. “Did you actually think I’d forget that an eagle is your transformation animal of choice?”

“No,” Zeus said with a chuckle and sat down next to Demeter. He placed his hand on her back and gently rubbed her shoulder blades. “How are you doing?”

Demeter turned a cheek in each direction. She was being cautious. Hera had been known to follow Zeus to catch him in scandalous situations. When she realized they were in the clear Demeter sighed and said, “As good as I can be I guess. I’m just really nervous and worried.”

“What for?”

She looked Zeus in the eye and swore she could see the waves of the Aegean crashing in his navy blue eyes. “What if Hermes fails? What if Hades puts up a fight? I just have this bad feeling that something is going to go wrong.”

“What could possibly go wrong?”

“I don’t know. I think we both know that when it comes to Hades realm anything and everything is possible.

Zeus wrapped a massive arm around Demeter’s shoulder and hugged her close. “You need to trust me. I told you we’d get her back and we will.” Demeter placed her head on Zeus’s shoulder. “Hermes has been in and out of the underworld millions of times through the centuries. He will retrieve her.”

“I know that,” Demeter said with a sigh.

“Then what are you so worried about?”

“Look,” she started, “We both know Hades and what he’s willing to go to get what he wants. I just think he’ll try something drastic and our plan might backfire.”

“And you think I didn’t know that?”

Demeter lifted her head slightly meeting Zeus’s gaze. “You have a back-up plan?”

“It’s more than a back-up plan,” Zeus said. “It’s a war.”

Persephone

A
fter Charon dropped me off, I found my way back to the castle.

Inside, I ram my back into the front door, sliding down until my butt touches the cold marble floor. The hard and icy marble sends a chill through me. I’m frozen inside, trapped in a block of ice. I’m pounding and pounding and pounding praying to shatter the slick walls with my fists. But I can’t get out and no matter how loud I scream there’s no one around to help me. I’m alone.

For the second half of the ferry ride, my tears had dried up. I got distracted watching the choppy waters of the Styx swish back and forth. The waters reminded me of the ferry I was on. It rocked against the current, making me think of my relationship with Hades as a ferry ride. During that moment it was filling me with motion sickness.

Now, I bury my head in my hands and wail, hugging myself. Alone. Alone. Alone. Even when I’m with him, I won’t really be with him. I’ll be here while he’s out doing what he does and the thought of that expands into a black abyss covering every organ inside of me. Pretty soon I’ll be nothing. Just a hollow shell of a Goddess that used to be.

My chest vibrates as the sobs turn into howls and I squeeze myself tighter. I need to keep myself together. This is not me. And I can’t remember when I became this weak. Sniffling and using the heels of my hands, I wipe the tears from my eyes. Then using the door as a crutch, I stand. I don’t know where to go or what to do, but I know there’s an incessant pain inching its way toward my heart and the pain is seconds away from plunging deep into the core of my thumping organ.

I need to sleep. It’s weird, but I feel like sleep with make me feel better. Sleep will clear my head and eliminate the fog that’s been filling up in my brain all day. And just as I push myself away from the door, I hear them. Voices. Two voices. And I know I’ll want to hear what they have to say. Placing my ear against the door, I realize I’m eavesdropping on a conversation between Hades and Charon.