Ashlyn (The Highland Clan Book 5) (10 page)

“Another thing I overheard near the inn was that a storm is brewing. We will not get snowed in here, will we, Uncle Logan?” Ashlyn couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck here. How many times had she been attacked? Her head hurt so badly that she could not even think.

Uncle Logan nodded to his wife. “I think rest is a great idea, Gwynie. We can plan our next move in the morn. Well done, Ashlyn. Without your information, we would be hapless. You kept your wits while in a dangerous situation. That is commendable.”

As soon as they made it inside their chamber, Ashlyn said, “Aunt Gwyneth, have you any of Aunt Brenna’s potions? I do not feel well.” She sat on a stool and leaned her head into her hands. The pain was excruciating now, and she knew not what to do. Her cousins and aunt stood around her, as if waiting for her to tell them how to help.

“Come, I do have a powder that I can mix for you,” Aunt Gwyneth said, “and I have a water skin here. Let me help you get undressed and into bed. You need a good night’s rest, and my guess is you need to keep your head still.” She gingerly felt through Ashlyn’s hair. The pain spiraled through her head when her aunt found the bump. “Och, you have quite a big bump in the middle of your head. He hit you hard. Sorcha, get me my satchel, please. Once I get Ashlyn settled, I’ll see to Magnus and Tormod.”

Ashlyn could only follow instructions. She was incapable of speaking or thinking. When she was out of her gown, she fell into the bed on one side and slipped under the covers. She only sat up to drink the concoction her aunt had made for her. As soon as her head settled on the pillow the second time, she fell fast asleep. This time she dreamed about Gracie.

Unfortunately, that dream was followed by a very different one. Her captor touched her again, his hands running over her hips, her breasts, and she couldn’t fight him this time, no matter what she tried. She attempted to kick him, but he only laughed and laughed and groped her more. But then his face changed to resemble the man at the beach, and then the one man became two.

A bang from somewhere awoke her, and she found herself staring into Magnus’s eyes. Aunt Gwyneth’s hand was on her shoulder shaking her.

“What is it?” Magnus asked, his face drawn.

As soon as she regained her bearings, she whispered, “My apologies, ‘twas naught. Just a bad dream. I was back…”

Magnus let out a deep sigh as he ran a hand over his face and through his hair. Aunt Gwyneth gave him a light push, and only then did Ashlyn notice that her cousins had roused and were staring at her with wide eyes. “Go, Magnus,” Aunt Gwyneth said. “I’ll take care of her. I’m sure she was having nightmares about the man who abducted her.”

Magnus gazed into Ashlyn’s eyes. “You’re sure you want me to leave?”

She nodded, not wishing to disturb him any longer, though she wished for naught more than to be wrapped in his protective arms again.

Magnus left the chamber, and Ashlyn’s cousins instantly fell back against their pillows. Everyone was clearly as exhausted as she was. “Forgive me, Auntie.”

“Here, come over onto this big chair and sit with me,” her aunt said, pointing into the corner of the chamber. “My guess is you have not really told anyone all that happened to you tonight, and you must. You’ll feel better if you tell me about it.”

Ashlyn knew she wouldn’t fall back asleep, so she moved out of bed and did as her aunt had suggested. The two managed to squeeze into the huge chair together, and when Aunt Gwyneth wrapped her arms around her, she leaned her head onto her shoulder. She loved all her aunts and uncles. How wonderful they were, each special in his or her own way.

“He touched you, did he not?” Aunt Gwyneth whispered.

The sounds from the bed made her believe her cousins had fallen back asleep, so she decided to tell her aunt the truth. “Aye. He groped me when my hands were tied up. I could not stop him, but then I recalled something Robbie had told me, so I shoved my knee hard between his legs and he yelled, saying he would kill me.”

“Well done. You hurt him where it pains a man most.”

“Aunt Gwyneth, may I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure. I’ll answer if I can.”

“You were almost sold as a wench, ‘tis true?”

“Aye, ‘tis true.”

“Then how could you allow another man to touch you? Every time a man touches me, I have bad memories, and I hate it. Yet I adored my two brothers when they were just bairns. I would love to have a family someday, but I fear I could never bear a man’s touch again. But my mother did, and she’s so happy.” It was something she’d never told anyone before. Though Ashlyn pretended she never wished to marry, her heart longed for it, longed for a husband and bairns to love. She simply thought she
couldn’t
marry.

“Your stepsire is a special man, ‘tis why she’s happy. That’s my answer to you. Women are often abused, ‘tis sad to say, but lads are stronger than lasses, and some lads take advantage. Not all lads are bad, though you’ve met many that are. Believe me that when you find the right one, you will enjoy his touch.”

“Do you…” she swallowed before she asked the most difficult question. “Do you enjoy Uncle Logan’s touch, or do you only bear it because you love him? Sometimes, I do not mind Magnus’s touch, but only when I am frightened.”

“Aye, I enjoy my husband’s touch. When two people love each other, ‘tis verra special for them to give each other pleasure. Your uncle is the only lad for me, but it does not bother me to hug other clanmates I trust.”

Ashlyn absorbed this for a moment. No one else seemed to react to a man’s touch with fear the way she did. “There must be something wrong with me.”

“Mayhap you have not found the right man yet. I do not know what happened to you when you were younger, but we all know you were old enough to understand the abuse your mother suffered after your sire’s death. She is a strong lass, and did all she could for you and Gracie. Your aunt Maddie was hurt by lads, too, and she will tell you that it was a verra long time before she could tolerate Uncle Alex’s touch.”

“Aye, Aline told me that.” Ashlyn shook her head. “I could not believe how quickly she married Jake.”

“Every one of us is different. Aline fell in love with Jake, and they may have difficulties in the bed chamber they do not tell you about. Some women hold in their suffering, and mayhap that is Aline’s way, but it usually comes out somehow. I did not like a man’s touch either, and my emotions affected the way I handled my bow and arrow.” She paused. “But you are adjusting to Magnus’s touch? ‘Tis a good sign. It tells me you trust Magnus.”

“Sometimes it frightens me, and sometimes it feels good when he holds me. He held me when he found me last eve, and it was verra comforting. But I know Magnus would never hurt me.”

“That is the largest part of it, Ashlyn. You have to trust the man, and when you do, ‘twill happen.”

Could she dare to dream?

Chapter Ten

Magnus climbed off the floor in the morn as soon as he heard footsteps in the passageway. His hand immediately went to his head. Hellfire, they’d hit him pretty hard the night before. His next thought was for Ashlyn. Was she suffering the way he was?

Logan emerged from his chamber and came to a stop in front of him. “Any problems last night?”

Magnus brushed the sleep out of his eyes. “Aye, Ashlyn had nightmares, but Gwyneth handled it. I noticed she has a bigger bump than I do. My head is paining me still, so I fear hers must be even worse.”

Logan rubbed his own head as if in sympathy. “I’m thinking of sending you and Ashlyn home,” he said after a moment. “Now that we know what MacNiven is doing, we can focus our efforts. He’s not in the caves of the Highlands as I’d feared, and he is not selling slaves. ‘Twill be easier to find him if he is indeed searching to hire guards. Braden, Jamie, and the other guards are willing to stay and help, but if she is in that much pain, mayhap you should take her home. ‘Tis not the first time she has been ill treated. I’m not sure she can handle more.”

“I doubt she will choose to leave. She wanted to be a guard.”

“I think Ashlyn may choose to go home. She was not expecting to be hurt or kidnapped. And my other concern is the weather. I checked and found out there is a storm brewing. You are aware that you could get snowed out of returning to the Highlands for a time. You are all certainly welcome to stay with Clan Ramsay until spring, but I do not think Ashlyn would handle being away from her family that long. ‘Twould be a long time for her to spend away from her loved ones.”

“You may suggest it, but I do not expect her to accept it.” Hadn’t Ashlyn always wanted to travel with the guards? Now that she’d gotten them this much closer to MacNiven, there was no chance she’d back down.

“And if she does agree to make the journey home, I expect you to act with the honor of a Grant guard.”

Magnus chuckled a little at that. “She would stab me while I slept if I tried to touch her.”

“Think on it. I head below stairs to arrange for a chamber and food to break our fast. We shall see how she fares today.” Logan patted his shoulder and headed toward the stairs.

A short time later, the door to the women’s chamber opened and Gwyneth popped out. “Was that my husband’s voice I just heard?”

“Aye, he went below stairs to arrange for a place for us to break our fast.”

“Good, I shall return promptly, Magnus. You’re on guard here. The lasses are almost ready.”

He smiled and nodded. The door opened again a few moments later, and Ashlyn stepped out. “Good morn to you, Magnus.” The dark circles under her eyes worried him.

“And to you. How do you fare? Does your head pain you the way mine does?”

“Aye.”

Then she said one of the last things he’d expected to hear.

“I wish to go home,” Ashlyn declared.

He was stunned. “You do? Do you not think the pain in your head would ease more quickly if you stayed here and rested? The cold can be ruthless.”

“Nay. I miss my mother and everyone else.” There was a hitch in her voice as she said it. “My head is in so much pain I do not think I could help Uncle Logan at all. Though we have not discovered the location of Cedrica or Lorna, it does not appear that he is selling women, or that he is doing aught than he’s done before. He’s hiring guards to fight someone, and I helped to uncover his plans. We may never find the women. I have achieved as much as I’d hoped to.”

“That surprises me, but I am willing to go along with you.”

“You are? I thought mayhap Jamie and Braden would go with me and you would stay here.”

“Jamie is in charge of the mission, on order of his laird. He cannot leave. Braden is having the time of his life. He will not be pleased if he’s sent home with you. I’m an old man who is content with the slow life at times, so I’d be happy to escort you home. I was also ordered to be your protector on this trip.” It was true. He wasn’t familiar enough with the Ramsays to be comfortable there. He’d rather go home. True, his Rhona was gone, but it was still his home with Mada and Sim and all his friends.

“I’m a wee bit embarrassed, but I will admit to what I told my auntie this morn.”

“What could you be embarrassed about?”

“That I could not bear it if we were snowed out of the Highlands. I’d prefer to be snowed in. I was surprised by how difficult the journey was, and we may not be able to make it if we wait another sennight or two. I do not wish to be separated from my family until spring.”

“Talk to your uncle Logan when we go below stairs. As I said, I am willing.”

***

Before Magnus could even process the change of events, he and Ashlyn were saying their goodbyes. They left after packing their things and stocking their saddlebags with blocks of cheese, ale, and oatcakes. Ashlyn wished to ride her own horse, though Logan had tried to convince her that she should ride with Magnus. It was unconventional for a lass and a lad to travel alone together, but Ashlyn was older, and everyone knew her opinion of men.

He was glad she had refused to ride with him. It would have driven him mad to ride all the way to Grant land with her sweet bottom nestled up against his cock. It probably would have broken off in the cold. Distance. He needed distance from her soft curves. Even when he helped her mount, he had to turn his head away. One glance and he was hard.

A few days
, he told himself,
that’s how long your torture will last.

The first day of their journey was uneventful. They chatted comfortably, and found a nice empty cave to sleep in. The second day changed everything. Just after the sun was highest, Ashlyn lifted her head up to the winds and tugged her mantle tight around her. They had just traveled through a narrow ravine, the kind that would be impassable during snow storms. It was one checkpoint he was pleased they had put behind them.

“Magnus, the winds are changing.” Her head tipped back, then turned to pick up the direction of the breeze. She had to yell for him to hear her.

“Aye, they are. The temperature is dropping, too. I do not like this. ‘Twas a wise move wearing trews under your skirts.”

“And woolen socks under my trews.”

“Ashlyn, I think there is a storm brewing. We’ve made it through one of the toughest ravines, aye, but I’d suggest we search for shelter. I don’t want to be caught in the middle of a heavy snowstorm. I’d prefer to tuck into a cave or a cottage and wait it out, see if we can’t find cover for the horses, as well. The winds keep building and once the snow starts coming down, ‘twill be hard to see. ‘Tis how people get lost in the Highlands. I do not wish to be one of them, especially since I have not made this journey as often as your cousins.”

“Do you have any idea where to go?”

“Mayhap someone will take us in.”

“I hope it does not drop enough snow to prevent our passage after the storm,” Ashlyn said, biting her lip. They stared up at the changing skies—shades of grays and blues flickered past. Occasional beams of the sun broke through, but the cloud cover was already thick. A few snowflakes floated through the air, a tease of what was to come. “Magnus, I am freezing already and night is just beginning to fall. The temperature is still dropping. Do you know of a cave nearby?”

“Nay, but I do recall seeing a deserted hut when we came south. It was not far from the ravine, just off the path a bit. I noticed it when I moved into the bushes to relieve myself when we stopped.”

The farther they went, the heavier the snowfall became. They traveled for a bit before something caught Magnus’s eye. He pointed off the path. “There. I can just see the edge of the roof. I’ll lead the way. Follow me.” They’d almost made it when Magnus held his hand up, indicating the need to stop.

“What is it?” she asked. “It looks deserted to me. And there’s a lean-to for the horses, a well-made one with walls on three sides. This seems perfect.”

“Aye.” He pointed off the trail. “I’ll take that downed tree before it’s buried in snow. My horse will be able to pull it out. I have an axe, but ‘tis a small one. I won’t be able to drop any big trees. We’ll need the wood to keep warm.”

She nodded, moving ahead of him so he could tie the tree to his horse. “Do you need help?”

“Nay. I have it.” He gave her his usual big smile as he climbed back onto his horse. “Our luck. ‘Tis a mighty log. We can dry it in the lean-to and the snow is deep enough for it to slide easily.”

They stopped in front of the hut and Magnus climbed down. “I’ll make sure ‘tis empty before we settle the horses.”

“And get rid of any critters who’ve made it their home, will you not?”

He couldn’t help but laugh when she cringed—he’d seen her shoot a man with an arrow, after all. Most critters were already deep in hibernation. He moved inside the hut, surprised to see it was in decent condition other than a few cobwebs he knocked out of the way. After yelling the all clear to Ashlyn, he continued his examination. The hearth was still in good shape, and there were several pieces of dry wood stacked next to it and a pot hanging above it. One pallet sat to the side and a table and three stools were arranged next to the opposite wall. A few utensils decorated the mostly empty shelves. Aye, it would do just fine.

He stepped back outside into the bitter wind, and stared at Ashlyn on her horse. She pointed off to the side, a smug smile on her face. “‘Twas my turn for dinner. I killed it, so you can retrieve it.”

He turned his head and almost jumped for joy. “A pheasant? You shot a pheasant in this weather?” He ran over to pick it up. “Nice, Ash. He’s got lots of meat on him. I’ll give you a kiss for this one.”

A scowl crossed her face. “Like hell. No kisses. Keep your hands away.”

“But ‘twould be my lips, not my hands.” He winked at her as he led the horses over to the lean-to behind the cottage.

“No lips, no hands.”

“May I use my hands to help you down? You have enough material covering you so as not to feel my touch.”

“I’ll accept that, but only because ‘tis hard to move with trews and a skirt.”

They settled the horses, grabbed their belongings, and moved inside. Ashlyn walked around, taking in her surroundings. “Aye, this will do,” she finally said. “Well done, Magnus.”

“You settle yourself, and I’ll go feed the horses the oats we brought. Then I’ll cut the wood, bring some inside, and set the rest to drying. This snow is coming down fast and hard now. If you have needs to take care of, I’d do it now off in the woods before the snow gets any deeper. By morn, we’ll both be going right outside the door.”

She gave him a fierce scowl that made him laugh, then made her way toward the door. Ashlyn’s innocence made her an easy target for goading. He’d already learned multiple ways to tease her. He whistled as he held the door for her.

She set her satchel down and grabbed some ladles and bowls from the shelf. “I’ll clean some things and gather enough snow so we can keep a broth cooking. I’ve got turnips and carrots to use in it.”

“What? Why the hell do you have turnips and carrots?”

She moved over to the hearth to grab the pot. “I always carry turnips and carrots.”

Ashlyn was like no other lass he’d ever met. He looked forward to finding out more about her, but now was not the time. “All the better for us. Pheasant, cheese, and vegetables. We’ll survive. Snow for water. Do what you must, lass. If you need me, come and get me. I’ll be behind the lean-to with the horses.”

***

Ashlyn woke up shivering in the middle of the night. Even with the extra plaid Magnus had given her, she could not get warm. She rolled onto her other side and checked the floor to make sure Magnus was still there. The wind howled outside, and she imagined the snow still swirling through the dark sky. She’d never be able to rest in this cold, dark place. How she missed her sister, her favorite person in the world to huddle next to in the cold when the temperature dropped, though Robbie and his brothers had built a much sturdier cottage than this one. She could hear the wind whistling through some of the holes between the stones. Their home offered much more protection, and Robbie had several deer pelts hanging inside the stone walls as a further deterrent to the cold, along with many pelts for the cushioned bed, so much more comfortable than the thin pallet beneath her.

“Lass, your teeth are chattering.” Magnus’s voice carried from the cold stone floor.

“I know,” she whispered. “My apologies for waking you, Magnus.”

“There is a solution.”

“There is? Och, nay, it would require touching, would it not?”

“Aye, it would, but I vow on my honor that I will give you my warmth only. I will not touch you inappropriately. All you need to do is lean back against me, you need not face me.”

She shivered again as another blast of wind hit the stone walls of the small hut. Mayhap she should take him at his word. She’d leaned against him at the Buchans’ keep and he had not done anything inappropriate, and he had been mighty warm.

“Promise not to touch me except to my back? I’d just like to lean against you as I did in the Buchan’s solar. I’m so cold, Magnus. I cannot stop my trembling.”

Magnus stood up from his spot on the floor, dragging his plaid along with him. “I promise. If you do not, you may never wake again, and I do not think your mother would be too happy with me.”