Hed learned that lesson in a brutally vivid moment that awful morning outside Hamburg, and the horror of what hed done had never left him.
So many innocent lives had crumbled to ash around him. His own life was heading swiftly in that same direction, but he still had time to see justice met, at least for those lives that had been lost at Wilhelm Roths command. He had no doubt that his anger and hatred were only strengthening the fire living inside him. It would destroy him sooner than later, but hed be damned if he went down without taking Roth with him.
He only prayed that his resolve was firm enough to keep Claire far away from him as he moved ever closer to that inevitable end.
It was the depth of that conviction that finally gave him the strength to climb the stairs and find the room that
Danika had given them. He also didnt know if the couple who shared the farmhouse was aware of him and Claire, and he wasnt about to put Danika in the position of having to lie to cover for him should the other residents happen to come down and find a stranger in their midst.
Reichen paused in front of the closed bedroom at the far end of hallway. His pulse kicked with a visceral awareness of Claire on the other side of that painted white door. He prayed she was asleep, figured she had to be after the hours hed stalled downstairs. As quietly as he could, he turned the worn porcelain knob and peered inside.
Hello, she said, barely above a whisper. She was sitting up on one side of the king-size bed, wearing a thin baby blue T-shirt that didnt quite conceal the dark buds of her nipples or the shapely swell of her breasts. A small lamp glowed on the nightstand beside her, golden light playing in her ebony hair and across her lovely face.
He scowled and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him without a sound. You should be sleeping.
She lifted her shoulder. I thought the bath would relax me, but I cant seem to close my eyes.
He had to work damn hard to ignore the bolt of lust that shot through him with the renewed image of Claire sitting naked in a tub full of steaming water and silky white bubbles.
Nightfall will come early, he grumbled. Weve got to be ready to catch our ride back to the States at sundown. Youd better douse that lamp and try to get some rest.
She moved on the bed, but only to reach over and gesture to the empty side. I took one of the softer pillows, but if youd rather have it you can.
He glowered at her, more from the discomfort of his
growing erection than her offer of his choice of pillow. Her shift on the mattress had stretched her T-shirt into a second skin. And with the dislodging of the quilt coverlet as she moved, his burning gaze fixated on the tiny scrap of her panties.
Crimson red panties, for the love of God.
He froze where he stood, every nerve ending in his body going nuclear with arousal.
You might remember that Im a very sound sleeper, she said, but he was hardly hearing what she was saying. Dont worry about waking me up if you still toss and turn and hog the covers over there. I probably wont even notice.
He shook himself back to consciousness when he realized she expected him to sleep in the bed with her. Right beside her, when the only thing preventing him from acting on his unholy desire for her was a paltry slip of cotton and a minuscule triangle of red satin.
The bed is yours, he said, his voice a rough scrape in his throat. This isnt a slumber party, for fucks sake. You cant actually expect me to sleep with you, Claire.
Her expression faltered. I didnt mean
Jesus Christ, he muttered. His skin prickled with a sudden wash of heat and hunger that made his desire stoke even hotter. Getting in bed with you is the bloody last thing I need to do right now.
He must have sounded even more harsh than he realized, based on how quickly she glanced away from him. She shook her head, then exhaled a sigh. The bed is big enough for both of us. Thats all I was trying to say.
He stared at her for a long moment, his muscles twitching with the urge to move, to propel him over to where she was on the mattress and ease her down beneath him.
He wanted that so badly it was all he could see. All he could taste as the points of his emerging fangs pressed into the flesh of his tongue.
Get some sleep, Claire.
He tore himself away from the sight of her and took his own place on the floor nearby. The hand-loomed rug that covered the old wood planks was lumpy and smelled vaguely of lemon wax. He tossed onto his side on the hard floor, the only position that didnt make him painfully aware of the hard-on that was jutting between his thighs like a column of stone.
Had he actually tried to caution her a few minutes ago that nightfall would come early?
Like hell.
It was going to be a long fucking wait till sundown.
CHAPTER
Twelve
C
laire lay on the huge bed, wide awake, staring into the shuttered darkness of the room. She hadnt moved since Andreas took himself to the floor. Time dragged, and for quite a while she was certain hed been just as awake and alert as she wasand just as determined to lie there in silence and pretend he didnt notice.
But somewhere around an hour ago, his breathing had changed from the controlled inhaling and exhaling she could barely discern, to the deep, rhythmic soughing of sleep.
Claire listened to the slow sounds of his slumber, while Danikas words about the rarity of second chances and not wasting precious time on regrets were playing over and
over in her mind like a song she couldnt get out of her head. There was so much she wanted to say to Andreas. Things she needed him to hear.
Not that he would listen. He didnt seem inclined to let her get close enough to reach him at all. And she needed to be close to him now, if only to feel his strength beside her when everything she thought she knew about her world was crumbling at her feet.
Shed felt a wall come up between them tonight. It seemed to grow taller and less scalable the longer they were at the farmhouse Darkhaven. Claire wasnt sure what shed done to upset him, or maybe it was simply the fact that hed been forced to look after her now that Wilhelm was likely gunning for them both.
For a moment she wished shed been gifted with Danikas talent so that Andreass mind, and his cryptic emotions, wouldnt be such a mystery to her right now.
Her own ability could help her there, too. Everyone was more accessible in the dream realm. Not everything said or seen was truth, of course, but the surreal nature of dreams had a way of peeling back inhibitions.
Claire ventured a look over the expanse of the wide bed to the large bulk of Andreass body where he slept on the floor. She tucked her arm under her head and curled up on her side, watching him. Wondering where his dreams had taken him. She closed her eyes and thought about him as she let her body relax, willing her mind to calm and prepare for sleep.
She let her talent stretch, tendrils of awareness reaching
searching.
It usually took incredible focus to find the dreamer, but with Andreas, shed no sooner slipped under the veil of consciousness and slumber than there he was. It had always
been like that with him, as if their connection had been there from the instant they first met and had never weakened.
There had been times, long after Andreas was gone from her life, that Claire had been tempted to seek him out, if only in the dream realm. But shed been too afraid of facing more of his rejection, and too ashamed of herself that, try as she might, she could not find for Wilhelm anything close to the love she had been unable to purge for Andreas.
After all that had happened the past couple of nights, what she felt now for Wilhelm and the blood bond that shackled her to him was a cold and biting mistrust. Contempt, if everything she was learning about him was true.
After all shed been through with Andreas in these harrowing, intense long hours together, she had to admit to some measure of fear for the lethal individual he was now. But along with that fear had come a rush of emotion that terrified her even more for how strongly she still felt for him.
For how deeply she still wanted him, needed him.
How easily she could see herself falling back in love with him
if shed ever truly stopped.
As she walked into his dream now, her breath caught to find him under the starlight of a clear evening, seated shirtless and barefoot in the crisp, cool grass of the parkland sanctuary she had designed for his vacant Darkhaven property. All the details were just as she had them on the architects model, down to the very last bench and flower bed.
Good lord. He had memorized the entire plan
.
Its beautiful, he said, his deep voice a vibration she
felt all the way into her bones. You knew exactly what needed to be here. Somehow, you knew.
He didnt turn to face her as she cautiously approached him at the edge of his dream, where the land he was imagining in his sleep hugged the glittering lake beyond. Andreass golden skin was luminescent in the moonlight, made all the more striking by the flourish of twisting, twining
glyphs
that rode his muscular back like the masterwork of an artists paintbrush. Claire remembered tracing those beautiful marks with her tongue; if she closed her eyes, she could still picture every unique arc and flourish that tracked over his smooth, firm skin.
You know you shouldnt be here, he said once her feet stopped moving and she was standing beside him. Now he did look at her, and his expression wasnt what she considered friendly. His irises were throwing off piercing amber light. When he curled his lip back to speak, the tips of his fangs gleamed stark white and razor sharp. You dont belong here, Claire. Not with me. Not like this. You shouldnt have come in here when you werent invited.
I had to find you.
What for?
I needed to see you. I wanted
to talk
Talk. He spat the word on a huffed exhalation. Before Claire knew what he was doing, he was up on his feet, towering over her. His eyes were blazing, so hot it was a wonder her T-shirt and panties didnt melt away as his intense gaze roamed over her from the top of her head to her bare toes. What do you want to talk about, Frau Roth?
Dont do that, she said, wincing at his biting tone. Dont use him to drive a wedge between us.
He is the wedge between us, Claire. We both put him
there, didnt we? If youre only regretting it now, thats not my problem.
She frowned at him, not wanting to feel the scrape of his words when she came there out of affection for him, as his friend. Why are you doing this, Andre?
What am I doing?
Pushing me away. Treating me like Wilhelm and I are one and the same, both of us your enemies.
What would you have me do instead? Tell you that everything will work out between us in the end? Pretend that Roth doesnt exist so that you and I can pick up where we left off all those years ago?
Claire glanced down, feeling foolish for having wanted him to say those very thingsand more. Words he might never offer her again, even in the flimsy haven of a dream.
He lifted her chin on the tips of his strong fingers. We cant change anything thats happened, Claire. I wont stand here and give you lies to make either one of us feel better. And Im not going to give you promises that I know I cant keep.
No, she said. Youd rather run away.
His mouth flattened and he shook his head, his eyes glittering darkly. You think I wanted to leave you.
Not a question, but a quiet accusation.
Would it matter if I did? she tossed back at him. She scoffed, still stinging from the wound hed inflicted on her thirty years ago. Never mind, dont answer that. I wouldnt want to press you into saying something only to make me feel better.
Realizing shed made a mistake in coming there, she pivoted, about to walk off and leave him to sulk alone in his dream. But before she could take a single step away, his
fingers wrapped around her arm and he held her in place. He moved in front of her, his face taut and deadly serious.
Leaving you was the last thing I ever wanted to do. He scowled, his grip holding her tighter, moving her farther into the heated wall of his body. It was the hardest goddamn thing Ive ever done.
Ever
, Claire.
She stared up at him speechless, lost in the dark glimmer of his eyes. In the next moment, he bent his head down and kissed her, their mouths fusing together in a long, breathless joining.
She never wanted to stop. She didnt think she could let go of him now that he was in her arms again, even if only in her dreams.
