Ash Rising (DEAd Series) (12 page)

“I hear you’ve been hanging around with Gina’s friend the past few weeks. What’s her name—Liz.” Rico settled into the booth at Clyde’s, his dark eyes fixed on Ash’s face.

Ash grunted, suddenly alert. Liz and their relationship needed to stay as far under Rico’s radar as possible. He’d been wining and dining her, taking her out, stopping by the University of Toronto campus to bring her little surprises. After her comments about other women, about his not going home alone, he wanted to be sure that she didn’t think he put her in the same category. He didn’t. He wouldn’t. He would be sure she knew how he felt.

Not just to prove Gina wrong, and definitely not because he was tired of having sex with beautiful women, kissing them, and taking them home, whether he slept with them or not. He enjoyed all those things.

He enjoyed the thought of doing them with Liz more.

“I hear it’s more than a one time thing,” Rico continued. “Are you seeing the girl? Like, dating?”

“What, did your porn subscription run out?

You need me to fill in for you or something?”

“No, but Gina will bust my balls if you screw this up.” Rico kept the lopsided smile on his face, but his eyes were hard. “And I like my balls just fine as they are. She’s all worked up about you fucking around with her little friend.”

More like she was pissed he wasn’t fucking her. “Gina needs to mind her own business.”

“She’s got a hard-on for you, and not in a good way. Not anymore.” Rico slid Ash a look he couldn’t decipher.

“Look, Rico, no offense. I know she’s your sister and all, but she is one scary woman. And she
is
your sister. I don’t fuck around with shit like that. Isn’t right. Respectful, you know?” Rico would like that. He liked being respected.

Rico returned his grunt. “Yeah, I get it. I remember what she did to Donny DiMato after they broke up.”

Rico shuddered. The little bastard had done things that would make the most hardened criminal vomit, but got squeamish when he thought of what his sister could do to a man who’d done her wrong. Great.

“I don’t think I’ve met Donny,” Ash admitted, and Rico turned amused eyes to him.

“He ain’t around no more.”

Well, that explained everything he needed to know about Gina. Thank Christ he’d dodged that bullet, even if he had to deal with Gina’s pain-in-his-ass version of a woman scorned.

“I don’t need the distraction. We don’t need the distraction. Yeah?”

Ash nodded. Rico didn’t need to tell him, because he told himself the same thing. Liz was Gina’s friend, and she could be a complication. But he didn’t care about complications. As long as his relationship didn’t endanger the op or any of the officers involved, he figured it was nobody’s business but his and Liz’s.

Speaking of… He had a date and needed to leave to pick her up after her study session. Throwing enough money down on the table to cover his drink and then some, he slid out of the booth and gave Rico a nod. “I’ll see you tomorrow, man.”

His mind shifted gears as he got on his bike and rode toward campus to meet Liz. The past few times they’d gone out, he’d sensed something bothering her. She’d said she was fine, but he was an expert at reading body language and expressions. Something was on her mind. She’d better confide in him and let him help if he could, because
if she told him she was fine one more time, he’d knock his head against the wall. Repeatedly.

When he pulled up in front of the library, her face lit up like always, and the knot of tension in his chest eased. She ran to him with a laugh and threw her arms around his neck to plant an enthusiastic kiss on his lips before he could even get off the motorcycle. Good. At least she was happy, if the curve of her mouth against his was any indication.

“Good day?”

She nodded, adjusting the straps of her backpack on her shoulders. “Better now that you’re here. Where are we going?”

“Thinking dinner and maybe a movie.” He handed her the extra helmet.

“Oh.” Her shoulders fell, and there it was—the infinitesimal but undeniable withdrawal he’d been sensing.

“You don’t want to go to a movie? We can grab a drink or just hang out.”

“No. A movie sounds fine.”

He cringed, even as he stifled the reaction to that damn
fine
. His breath hissed through his clenched teeth as she fiddled with the strap to the helmet and refused to look at him.

“Liz.” He took the helmet and placed it on the back of the bike before pulling her close for a soft kiss. She had to tell him what was going on, or he’d…Well, he didn’t know what he’d do, but he couldn’t stand not knowing her thoughts. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She shrugged and gave him one of those limp smiles. No way he’d let her brush him off this time.

“Liz. Are you okay? Did I do something? What?”

She met his gaze, and for the first time in days, her eyes were clear if a little sad. “It’s more what you’re not doing.”

“What?” Wracking his brain, he tried to think of what he could have forgotten—her birthday, one of those little anniversary dates signifying something in their relationship, a promise he’d made—but he came up blank. He’d tried to do everything for her, show her she was everything to him. What hadn’t he done? “I don’t understand. I’m sorry. What’d I forget?”

She shook her head and took a deep breath. His heart plummeted. “Can I ask you something?”

“Okay.” He didn’t flinch
, but his mind raced. What had her acting so upset and serious?

“We’ve been seeing each other for…what? A few weeks now? A little over a month?”

He nodded. Coming up on six weeks, give or take.

“S
o…” Her voice faded, face somber, her blue eyes direct. “I’ve heard things about you.”

He kept his gaze steady
. He’d been expecting the conversation. No matter how careful he’d been to keep her away from the shit he was involved with, of course she’d hear something. She was Gina’s friend and roommate, after all, and Gina’s family was involved up to their little criminal eyeballs.

“What have you heard?” he asked
. Calm. Be calm.

She took another deep breath. “I’ve heard things about you…from other girls. From other girls you’ve been with.”

He leaned back with a grunt of surprise. “Lizzie—”

“
I wondered why you’re spending all this time with me. I mean,” she rushed on, her grip tightening on his hand. “What’s wrong with me? Why don’t you want to sleep with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” H
e jerked back at her words but immediately countered the action by brushing her cheek with the tips of his fingers. “And I do want to sleep with you.”

Well, shit
. That had been smooth. He gave himself a mental head-slap.

“You do?” She peeked up at him, and the doubt and insecurity on her face
tightened his chest.

“Yes, of
course I do.” He eased her closer, his fingers burrowed into her soft, curly hair. “But you’re more than that to me, Liz, more than just fucking around. Those other girls…”

“
They were just fucking around?” she murmured when he didn’t continue.

“Yeah. Yeah, they were. But you… You’re more, Liz.”
He couldn’t lie to her, not when she looked at him like that, and tried to explain. “What you said the night of our first date, how I went home with random women, stuck with me. You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever been with. I wanted to take things slow, to let everything build first—how I felt about you, maybe what you felt for me—instead of just fucking around.” He shook his head again. “Tried to show you how much I want you, but looks like I’ve done the exact opposite. The last damn thing I intended.”

“I thought maybe… I thought maybe you didn’t want me like that. I mean, you do everything else all the time—you know, with your hands, your mouth.” She blushed a hot, rich red. “But you won’t have
sex
with me.”

“Oh, Lizzie. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I tried to show you I want you—all of you, not just your body, not just sex—but I fucked up, huh?” Somehow, they’d both been at odds while coveting the same thing. “I’ll say it straight out, then. If I don’t have you soon, I’ll probably explode.”

“Me, too,” she told him, and he couldn’t hold back a relieved laugh.

Cupping her face, he
lowered his mouth and kissed her, just lips, gentle touches, soft glides. He gave to her, he who never had anything to give. But Liz… He’d give her everything.

“Liz.” He
r name whispered on a shaky breath, and he rested his forehead against hers as he squeezed his eyes shut. “Oh, Lizzie. Sorry I’m such an idiot.”

“Let’s go home.” She
pushed wild strands of his hair off his face. “Take me home.”

“Are you sure?”
For the first time, he meant the question and didn’t use it to taunt or tease.

“Yes.” She leaned
up on tiptoe to press a firm, open-mouthed kiss to his willing lips. “I am.”

He took her
back to his apartment and his bed, let her look her fill as he bared his flesh, muscle, and bone. Full to bursting in his own skin, he battled unfamiliar, rioting emotions, all because of her, a tiny, blue-eyed, curly-headed girl. Playing games never entered his mind, no sense of one-upmanship or superiority as he crawled across the bed to where she waited. No cocky detachment, only a desperation that she find him pleasing, that he could make her body sing. He removed each article of her clothing and revered the flesh he exposed with kisses, licks, and nibbles, and then moans, whispers, and soft, slow breaths.

He entered her finally, when she
sobbed and shook, when he trembled and teetered on the edge of control—and he thought his control limitless. He opened his heart as he made love to her, and she slipped inside, not realizing the consequence of the occasion. He moved with her to orgasm, soaring to heights he’d never reached, he who was a hedonist of the highest order. When reality became a part of their awareness again, he held her, feeling no urge to leave or let go. The outside world wouldn’t intrude on the miracle he’d found in the small bed in the old room, inside the ancient, run-down building. He’d found his heart, and he held it in his arms.

“I love you, Ash,” she murmured.

His eyes blinked open, then blinked again. He’d heard
I love you
many times and from many different women, but none of them meant the words. This time, he actually wanted the girl in his bed to mean them. Badly.

“Yeah?”
Blood surged through his chest and shot right down to his cock. He wrestled the urge to pound his chest and shout from the rooftops.

“Mm.
I do.” She snuggled into his arms, her back nestled comfortably against his front, and turned her head to place a gentle kiss on the swell of his biceps. “I love you.”

For the first ti
me in his life, he fell in love. His heart stopped, gut swooped and clenched, and when the unsteady beat resumed, he was entirely different. He loved her. He deserved his fate—that when he honestly fell in love, he was surrounded and controlled by deception. He wanted to tell her she was everything, but he couldn’t. Not while so many lies stood between them. Not while those lies were necessary. His training, his nature, his job wouldn’t allow him to say the words. But he could show her.

He looked down at her re
laxed, happy face, her lashes lying in dark crescents on her smooth cheeks, lips lifted in a satisfied smile. Rolling her onto her back, he eased his way between her thighs. He couldn’t tell her, not until he could give her the truth of who he was, but he gave her what he could.

“This.” Resting his elbows
on the pillow above her shoulders, he framed her face in his hands. “This is my heart. Right here.”

He kissed
her, and then kissed her again, using his body to show her what he couldn’t say out loud.