As I Breathe (One Breath at a Time: Book 2) (18 page)

“
You—tired?”—I snidely chuckled—“since when?” I snapped.

“
When did you become so mean? You used to like me.”
He moped.

“
Whaah, whaah, wuaahaaa! Arrrrgh! Are you going to start crying like Brett used to do all the time? The two of you are both serious attention mongrels. Just go sulk somewhere else. Jeez”—I put my palms together in a praying manner—“Here’s a prayer, call someone who cares.”

“
I get it. You want me to go, to leave you alone, but I can’t. One day I will figure this out.”

“
Figure this...” I flashed him the bird. I wasn’t sure if he saw it or not. I particularly didn’t give a shit, either.

“
Brielle, what is so wrong with slowing down? You are growing up too—”

“
What?” I interrupted. “This is my prom. Are you kidding me?” I yelled.

“
Fine, go. You deserve to attend your prom but not with Jordan. He’s not good enough for you,”
Storm bellowed coldly. Brainfreeze. I could have sworn his breath captured a ball of wind, lifting the locks of my hair into the air.

I walked to the window and slammed it shut. “I hope that was you flying out of my room—out of my head. Fucking-clucking bird!”

I quickly snatched up my headphones, placing them over my ears and hit my Napster play list, Bon Jovi:
It’s my Life.
I turned the volume up as high as it would go, flopped across my bed, and returned to flipping through the magazine I’d abandoned during my fight with Storm.

A tinge of remorse coursed through my consciousness...I felt awful that we had fought. My words were a degree below hateful, and Storm’s points were controlling, demanding and lecturing. I wasn’t sure which one of us was worse. I supposed his wrong ways didn’t make mine right. I recognized I was the more guilty party between the two of us, but I simply didn’t care.

. I figured that if I pissed him off enough, he would concede and just leave me to make my own mistakes. I was sick of him telling me what to do, where to go and with whom I chose to date.

The only male friend of mine Storm ever approved of was Spencer Reed. Of course, he did. Spencer had four eyes, red hair, and he would have kissed his computer before he’d ever think of kissing me. What a nerd.

After our knockdown, drag out fight, Storm disappeared. I tried to apologize to him a few days later. I missed the loud monster in my head; after all he was my monster.

“
Storm, I’m sorry I treated you so badly. Are you there? Storm, I know you’re still here.”

There was no response, nothing—nada. He was playing hard to get. He was so stubborn. He didn’t even as much as let out a sigh. God, how did Storm ever expect to get his wings if he was going to act like an infant cherub, rather than a mature angel?

“Storm, I know
why
we don’t see eye-to-eye anymore.” I whined.
Did we ever?
“Storm, damn you! Why can’t you just be happy for me this one time?” This really sucked. He ignored me and never responded. Of course, I didn’t give him but a second to think about it either. “Fine...then, life will be easier with you gone. If you aren’t going to forgive me and accept my apology, well then”—
fuck it
—“when and if Jordan asks me to the prom, with or without your blessing, I am saying yes for sure now.”

It wasn’t much of an apology, but it was the best I could muster up. He really pissed me off. Storm would just have to get over his jealousy. However, I couldn’t really blame him for being a little envious; Jordan was a real man.

As the days strung along, I kept finding myself wishing that Storm had understood my needs and, perhaps if he had we would still be friends. There were moments I felt a dull pang of loss in the pit of my stomach, but I quickly shooed it away when I missed him.

Jordan, sweet Jordan would take Storm’s place. He would protect me and become my new best friend. We were both seniors, but he was almost a year older than me. This was awesome because I liked guys who were older than me. A few that is. Crap, Storm was probably a thousand years old, and the thought of his age was laughable to me.

Storm was only a voice. Jordan could touch, text and make out with me. He could hold my hand if we walked along the streets together, Storm could never even give me a simple handshake. Jordan could do it all, and kiss me for God sakes. I anticipated talking to Jordan on the phone about nothing for hours. Storm, well, all of this would be kind of gross, even if he could complete any of these tasks.

Jordan had a deep sensual voice. Storm’s voice...hum, let me think...it was pleasant, deep—yes, and as smooth as velvet—true, very stealthy—radiating power. His voice was kind of sexy—

Oooh, God, did I just say sexy?

I meant strong...Storm’s voice could cause an avalanche between two mountains when he whispered. Okay, I guess that I could give him sexy. I was certain that some goddess or an angel up in Heaven would fancy him in a romantic way. Unexpectedly, the thought of a goddess having a crush on Storm was disturbing. I didn’t want to think about anyone, other than myself liking Storm, even if it was impossible for me to ever see him in a romantic way; the fact was that he was my angel. I hated to admit it, and I never would to him, but I was as possessive over Storm as much as he was with me.

A tight feeling constricted around my ribcage; something wasn’t right. I felt sick. Was Storm okay? I had not heard from him in weeks since our fight about Jordan.

My telepathic connection with him told me that he needed me. Storm was, in fact, my biggest hero at one time. Why was he ruining everything? He could have tried to be a little more angelic. I hoped his absence was temporary, and that he hadn’t disappeared forever. He didn’t even say good-bye. I reasoned with my heartache and decided it was his choice to leave. So be it then.

-15-

Reality Sings and Sometimes Stings

I had a lot going on and tons to be happy about. Graduation was around the corner. My college days were set in motion. Still, I missed Storm. I wanted him to witness me transcending from a young girl to a woman, in the literal sense.

It was a gorgeous spring day, the flowers were blooming and life was good. I sat idly beneath a big oak tree on the school’s campus just minding my own business. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jordan sailing across the courtyard. He was on a path leading straight to me. My heart leapt and skipped a beat, bubbling over with anticipation.

Jordan’s hair was dirty blonde with big waves floating down past his shoulders. With his blue eyes and gorgeous hair, he reminded me of Brad Pitt in the movie
Troy
. His bronzed skin glistened in the sunlight. His shoulders were broad, with or without his football gear mounted upon them. What a dangerous combination.

“
Hey, beautiful. What are you doing over here all by yourself?” His eyes connected with mine like two waves colliding into each other. I imagined for a millisecond that if he and I had little ones they would inherit his striking light blue eyes. They were crystal blue like the tips of an ocean wave on a sunny day.

I drank Jordan in as he approached me. “Reading. What’s up?” I smiled brightly. Of course, I knew he had come to ask me to the prom; it was approximately a month away.

“That sounds boring. I hate to read.” Jordan twisted his lips.

Is that the best I could say—
“what’s up?”
How lame and unoriginal, I thought.

“
Yeah, that was kind of lame.”
A man’s voice popped into my head.

Storm?
I whispered in disbelief.

“
This kid doesn’t deserve much better. Unworthy jerk.”

Oh my God, he’s back
—

Storm, is that you?
I questioned silently to myself. It had been so long, months since I had heard from him. He was always taking long sabbaticals, especially after having an argument with me. I almost had forgotten what he sounded like. His voice penetrated my mind’s ears. He sounded different than before. My core fluttered with little waves of warmth.

“
It’s me,”
Storm answered as if he could hear me.

Could he hear my inner thoughts? I knew this was impossible. He had never been able to hear my private thoughts before. This had to have been just a coincidence. Nonetheless, the one and only Storm was back in my head, like magic, on cue and not a minute too late.

I placed my palm over my mouth in order to discreetly speak to Storm in the presence of Jordan. I’d learned through the years how to manage talking to him when others were around. I had all sorts of tricks. Sometimes, I would pretend to cough, sneeze or simply use code words that we had come up with. I shifted my shoulders, turning my face away from Jordan and pretended that I had to sneeze.

“
Oh my God. Ah-choo! Stop interrupting. Ah-choo!” I inadvertently scowled at Storm just above a whisper so he could hear me. “Where have you been?” I snapped. I missed him and I wanted answers.

“
Huh?” Jordan questioned. “It’s good to see you too.” I quickly realized the confusion it had caused for Jordan.

“
Not you—uh, I mean, it’s good to see you too...I was talking to...my—”
Angel...
I almost said out loud. I paused nervously.

Should I have told Jordan I had a guardian angel talking to me at the same time? Apparently, Storm hadn’t lost his talent for showing up at exactly the worst time. Maybe he’d never actually left and had been lying dormant in my brain, like an old bomb in a mining field, waiting to explode. Now, he was back to take Jordan out, or make me look like an idiot in front of him. That’s my Storm, sensing when a man was within two feet of me.

“Hey, you don’t have to explain, pretty girl.” Jordan sort of bobbed his head.

“
He is not for you Brielle...get rid of him,”
Storm ordered.

“
Ah-choo!
Shut up,” I whispered loud enough—unfortunately too loud that Jordan heard, again.

“
What?” Jordan chuckled, nervously. He seemed surprised that I was speaking to him in such a brash tone. Of course, I wasn’t really. I had to think of something quickly.

“
Oh crap. I’m not talking to you, it’s my brother Brett.” I rolled my eyes upward, annoyingly. “You know how little brothers can be.” I pulled off my earplugs, pretending as if I was talking to Brett on my cell. Earlier, I had actually been listening to music, but Jordan didn’t need to know that. I raised my cell to my ear. “Hey...I will deal with you later, buster,” I said firmly, keeping up the false diversion, and then pressed the end call button on my phone.

“
Yeah Babe, that’s cool. I just came over to ask if you would like to go to the prom with me.”

Oh my god, I hardly realized he’d asked me to the prom when I’d heard that he’d called me babe. What next?

“How about bitch, whore or slut...he’s no good Brielle. Trust me!”
Storm said in the depths of my head.

I inwardly lashed back at Storm, all along knowing that he could not hear me...but, for some reason, it felt gratifying to me anyway.
Wow, you’re such a potty mouth and such an asshole some times, too. I thought you came back to help me. But, hell no! Not you—not my angel...you’d rather cause me misery.

“
Whoever said I was an angel.”
Storm interjected, chuckling halfheartedly
.
He had a valid point. He had never really admitted to me that he was an actual angel. And I never directly asked, except once I asked where he was. Perhaps I was too afraid to know the truth.

What? You can hear me? I thought you couldn’t hear my inner thoughts—
I needed another diversion and time to think. So, I started coughing and sneezing more.

“
Can now...It’s taken almost eighteen years, but I figured it out while I was away.”
Storm said...I could hardly believe my ears—brain more like it.

“
Hey, do you want me to come back? You seem sick or something,” Jordan said as he backed away.

I nearly stammered at Jordan, “No. Please, stay. Just let me send this text. Do you mind?” I needed this curve to stall for a minute. Multi-tasking two conversations made me sweat.

“Suit yourself...I’ll just sit here and stare at your beautiful face.” Jordan winked.

Awww...he winked at me.

“Yep! It starts with the winks and before you know it he’ll be whipping you.”
Storm intervened, again.

Oh my God, this can’t be happening, now my private thoughts are going to be invaded too! You may as well kill me now.

“Yeah, we will talk about that later,”
Storm sinisterly retorted.

What?
I panicked for a fraction of a millisecond then said inwardly with a hint of sarcasm.
Great. Are you going to throw me into Hell?

“
There’s an option.”