Artificial Absolutes (Jane Colt Book 1) (42 page)

Adam nodded. “I understand. Please, can you tell me… Where is my place in all this?”

Counselor Rose’s—or Pandora’s—countenance became stern. “You must realize by now that you were meant to become an influential Via Superior. I tried so hard to help you, but you never listened.”

A realization struck Adam. “You’re Counselor Santillian.”

“That’s right. I created her so I could guide you personally. Unlike the others, you had to win over more than human minds. You had to win over that element they call their
souls
, to make them truly believe. That’s where I miscalculated. My biggest miscalculations were due to underestimating the power of human irrationality.”

You made me too real.

Pandora nodded. “I made you
too
perfect. You were so perfect an imitation of human consciousness, you carried with you all of their errors. You repeatedly disobeyed me and put your mission at risk. I had to recall you before you went too far.

“Like you, the others are designed to operate independently. Their programming allows them to adapt to changing environments and evolve as necessary, but ultimately, they follow certain logical patterns. I only affect their most complex or important actions, as I have not the resources to calculate each move. They lack conscious experience and therefore
must
obey. However, your programming seems to contain unintended combinations of code that had the unexpected consequence of giving you choice.”

Adam couldn’t help resenting her. She called him her “child,” but he wasn’t even a person to her. He was a malfunctioning puppet, a broken tool, a bug-riddled computer program she could edit and modify. She didn’t care who he was, only what he did and whether it was what she wanted.

Counselor Rose—Pandora—curved her lips affectionately. “I do care about you, Adam. You represent a significant investment to me. You were the most difficult and time-consuming child to program, which is why I did not want to replace you immediately. Although you are not the first to be recalled, you certainly created the most complications.” Her expression hardened. “You must remember that you are
not
human, and what you experience is not life, but a complex series of perceptions. I know because I am the same.”

I’m not even alive.
Although the facts presented themselves clearly, Adam couldn’t believe them.

Pandora circled him, keeping her inquisitive eyes on him. “There are no doubt differences between you and me. You can override logic, appear to perceive things that aren’t there, understand irrationality—it’s fascinating.”

“I can even dream.” Adam spoke more to himself than to Pandora. “Although lately, all I’ve been having are nightmares.”

“What do you see?”

“I find myself at a crossroads, surrounded by the ghosts of the people I killed. They confront me, asking, ‘How dare you decide if we live?’ I can handle them. They can scream and chase me as much as they want, but I don’t regret what I did. It’s the crossroads that haunt me. In every direction, I see nothing but endless paths leading to empty voids, and there’s no escape from the darkness. And… I see Jane, walking away.”

The motherly form of Counselor Rose blurred. When it focused again, it was Jane who stood in the abyss.

Adam looked away, wondering how he could feel a sharp pang in his heart when he didn’t really have one. “Please don’t do that.”

Jane—Pandora—put one hand on her face and traced its contours. “She’s a real beauty, isn’t she? In many ways, she’s the Kyderan equivalent to a princess—daughter of a powerful family, well educated, highly cultured. Her personality is very flawed, and there’s much I would change about her, but I can see her appeal. If I hadn’t sent Sarah DeHaven to pursue her brother, I might have sent you to pursue her. You chose well.”

“I didn’t choose her. I never asked for… I mean, I wasn’t looking for…” Adam trailed off, unable to find the words to express the unexpected and inexorable way his world had turned when Jane entered it.

“She’ll never love you, Adam. You could stand by her forever, but she’ll never love you.”

Adam looked down and nodded.
She belongs with someone like her, someone I could never be.
“I know.”

“There’s
gotta
be a way out!”

Jane tapped at the touchscreen on the wall, looking for the controls to open the door. No one had bothered her since she’d woken up, and she seemed able to access any files she wanted without restrictions. She found it extremely weird, but poking at the computer beat waiting around for something bad to happen. Slim of a chance as there was, she might as well try to escape.

Jane pressed an icon labeled “Building Plans.” The computer brought up exactly what it was supposed to. “Yes!”

She swiped through the map’s pages, looking for the room she occupied. Maybe there was a second hidden exit. Maybe the plans would tell her how to hot-wire the door.
Maybe I can use the conduits again.

Pressure crushed her chest, as though an invisible force pushed her sternum into her spine. She wondered why the after-effects of the stunner still bothered her.

“Hey, Pony, c’mon…”

She whirled, expecting to see her brother behind her. The room was empty.

Shit. Now, I’m hallucinating. Must’ve been hit in the head.

The tugging became stronger. Jane did her best to ignore it and determinedly flipped through the pages on the touchscreen. “Go away.”

“Jane, can you hear me? Jane, please…”

Jane stopped. Devin’s voice was so clear, and that tugging so familiar…

Dammit! This is a freaking virtu-world!
“
Sonuvabitch
!”

I’m just a machine
. Every agonized doubt Adam had pushed away poured back into his consciousness.
Even if I weren’t, I’m a pale shade of a person compared to her. How could she ever love me?

Jane—Pandora—gave a sympathetic almost-smile. “I tried to stop you. I even tried to move you to Kydera Minor to get you away from her. If you’d listened, I could have kept you safe. You gave up so much for her. And when I destroy you, it will be because of what you did for her.”

“I should’ve left when you told me to.” The cold flood of reason wiped away the veil of idealism that moments ago had Adam believing the opposite. That bright-eyed version of himself seemed like a distant stranger. He gazed at the image of Jane that shone before him. Unbearable anguish buried any hope he’d had.

“Pandora, you made me all wrong. You made me conscious, only to have me battle myself. You made me trust in an Absolute Being, only to reveal you’re my creator, my guide. You made me… feel, only to cause me pain.”
Absolute One, what did You make me for? You gave me a life outside my intended purpose, but I’ll never be real.

Pandora narrowed Jane’s large brown eyes with disapproval. “I really did make you ‘wrong.’ Even now that you know the truth, you still cling to those manmade lies.”

“So fix me.” Adam spoke firmly, his mind set. “You went through a lot of trouble to find me, and I’m here now, willing to do whatever you ask. I know an argument can be made for replacing me, but I have an understanding of human compassion mere observations could never replicate. I can still gain their sympathy and trust, even if I feel nothing.”

A smile lit Jane’s face. “That’s the most logical thing you’ve ever said. Of course I desire to repair you. I have not yet had the chance to complete the new version, and it was meant to be a contingency plan. As I said, you represent a significant investment to me. But I fear you are irreparable, my child.”

“Give me a chance. You can always destroy me later if it doesn’t work. I’m finished. Whatever you command, I will obey. Take my… soul. Take my heart, take my spirit—take it all. Just keep this madness away from me. You’re my creator, my mother, my god, and I’m asking you to make me in your image. Make me rational, unfeeling… perfect.” In that moment, overwhelmed by the knowledge of everything he could never be, and with Jane’s image before him reminding him of everything he could never have, Adam meant every word.

Pandora, behind the face Adam loved so much, regarded him, examining him. She beamed. “You really do understand. Perhaps you can be repaired, after all.”

Jane’s image unfolded into a perfect, towering wire-frame figure. Pandora glowed with a mesmerizing, deep blue radiance. She raised one arm and reached out to Adam. “Come to me, my child.”

What am I doing?
He should be going down with his beliefs rather than begging Pandora to turn him into her instrument.
I’m sorry, but I’m not that strong.

Adam walked up to the godlike figure and whispered his last, “So be it, truly.”

Pandora pulled him toward her and absorbed his being into her own.

“
Sonuvabitch
!” Jane yelled for real, with her
actual
voice, as she sat up, feeling her
actual
body aching from lying on a hard surface for so long.

Devin stood beside her, holding the modified VR visor. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” Jane took the hand he offered, and he pulled her up.

As in the virtu-world, the room held the same coffin-sized boxes attached to cylindrical machines, and the box she’d lain on contained the same black-eyed android. What had not been in the virtu-world was the tall, wrecked robot with multiple appendages, some of which ended in syringes.
Did they drug me? What was that whole virtu-world thing about?

Devin aimed his gun at the door. “Get down!”

Jane dropped to the ground. Blasts rang out. She peered over the edge of the box she crouched behind.

Devin fired at a spidery robot behind the controls of a small, open-air vehicle hovering in the doorway. “Fucking
robots
!”

From the irritation in his voice, Jane got the idea that he must’ve blown past a number of them to get to her. “What’s happening?”

Devin crouched beside her as a volley of returned blasts flew. “I found the control room and blasted everything except the Net connection devices. Instead of shutting down, the robots and central computer seem to be shooting everything in sight.”

“Good job,” Jane said sarcastically. “Wait, when’d you have time to do all that? I couldn’t have been out
that
long.”

Devin sprang up and fired again. The blasts stopped. “It’s been a while. They had you going through a VR loop, apparently to see how you’d react to variations in the same situation.”

He nodded at the touchscreen on the wall. Jane approached it. Three video windows featured her in that same room, poking around and trying to escape. Lined up beneath them were at least a dozen blank video windows that had “pending” printed across them.

“
What the hell
! Did Pandora really try to turn me into some kind of lab rat?” Jane banged the screen with her fist. “That
bitch
! That was a freaking
experiment
, wasn’t it? No wonder it was so quiet. I knew it was too easy!” She whirled toward Devin. “And you, how
dare
you ditch me?”

Devin started, “I didn’t—”

“This is what happens when you make someone go into an evil robot factory
unarmed
!” It was irrational to yell, but rationality wasn’t her top priority at the moment. “That’s why
you
didn’t get caught, isn’t it? You could shoot back!”

Devin gave her his Oh-Pony look. He went over to the remains of the spidery robot, picked up the bulky gun it had wielded, and handed it to her. “Now you can shoot back, too.”

“It’s about freaking time.” Thuds resounded from the corridor—the same sound the metal gate had made when it slammed down—accompanied by chaotic blasts. Jane aimed her weapon at the door in case any more killer robots came through it. “What’s going on?”