Arthur Rex (29 page)

Now the lord brought him a robe of fine silken stuff and trimmed with soft fur, and then he led him to a magnificent dining hall, where the table was laden with delicacies from all over the earth and the dishes were of pure gold, while the goblets were each cut from a solid diamond, and when they sat down they were served by a corps of unfledged maidens, delicate as primroses and with smooth bodies clad only in sheer lawn.

And hearing some slight stirring near his knees beneath the table, Sir Gawaine lifted the cloth and saw a beautiful child with a face of old ivory and dark eyes shaped like almonds.

“At the very edge of the world,” said the lord his host, “on the brink of nothingness, live in great luxury a golden-skinned people called the Chinee. Now it is their practice to use infantile entertainers beneath the table top at banquets, to stir one appetite by provoking another. This can be especially amusing as prelude to an Oriental dish we shall presently be offered: live monkey. I shall strike off its crown, and we shall eat his smoking brains.” And here the lord brandished a little silver ax. “I promise you that nothing is more aphrodisiac, and that soon you will be delirious with lust.”

But Sir Gawaine declined to partake of the pleasure beneath the cloth, and he begged to have the dish withheld, but though he believed this lord monstrously unnatural he would not denounce him under his own roof, for after all no vileness had yet been imposed upon him, but rather merely offered.

And Gawaine also spurned the lark’s eyes in jelly, the coddled serpent-eggs, the pickled testicles of tiger, the lot, and he asked instead for cold mutton and small beer, which he instantly was brought.

Now after this feast the lord led Sir Gawaine to a chamber where a lovely maid, dressed in many veils, played sweetly upon a flute while dancing gracefully, and one by one she dropped her veils until with the last one she was revealed to be a willowy young man, and when the dance was done, he bowed to the floor before Sir Gawaine but facing away.

But Gawaine said to his host, “My lord, I am no bugger.”

Therefore the lord dismissed the young man, and then he said to Sir Gawaine, “Well, I would know what I might do for you.”

And Gawaine said, “Nothing, my lord.”

“So be it,” said the lord. “And now I must leave you, for to go hunting, and I shall be away until nightfall. Pray remember that even in my absence you can be denied nothing at Liberty Castle.” And he gave Gawaine the silver bell that had been fetched by the peacock. “Ring this for whatever you desire. But now I propose to you a bargain: that when I return we each exchange with the other that which we have got during the course of the day when we were apart.”

Now Sir Gawaine could see no reason to do this, but he was aware by now that the ways of this castle were strange, so strange indeed as to suggest magic, but whether white or black he could not yet say: for though the beastly amusements offered him were evil, they may well have been temptations in the service of a higher good. And surely courtesy required that he respond amiably to this lord, until such time as he could determine his purpose.

Therefore he agreed to this bargain, for anyway he had no intention to do ought all day but prepare himself spiritually for the ordeal to come, when he must face the Green Knight.

“Good,” said the lord. “Perhaps I shall bring you a brace of partridges.”

“And if I have nothing to return?” asked Sir Gawaine.

“Then nothing shall be my reward,” said the lord in a merry voice. “But do not forget that our agreement is to be considered literally, and that to conceal
anything
you have received would be to violate your pledge.”

“My lord,” said Gawaine reproachfully, “I am a knight of the Round Table.”

“Indeed,” the lord said, “and I should strike a bargain with no other!”

Then he left to go a-hunting, and scarcely was he gone when Sir Gawaine regretted not having asked where the chapel was situated within the castle, for he wished to pray there. But remembering the little silver bell, he rang it, and in answer to his summons the lord’s wife appeared and she was no more abundantly dressed than she had been when he had seen her first.

“Lady,” said he, “please direct me to your chapel, for I would fain pray.”

But the lady came to press against him, and she put her arms about his neck, and she said, “Sweet Sir Gawaine, be kind to me, I beg of you.”

And though Gawaine was far from being immune to the sensations caused by the pressure of her luxuriant body (and graciousness would not allow him to thrust her away), he had the strength of soul to remain modest, and he said, “Lady, this is not proper.”

“I speak of kindness and not propriety,” cried the lady, and she held him tightly and her warm breath was against the hollow of his neck.

“Lady,” said Gawaine, “methinks I now understand the test to which I am being put at Liberty Castle, where all temptations of the flesh have been offered me, but in fact not even when I was a notable lecher did I frequent children, persons of mine own gender, nor other men’s wives.”

Now this beautiful lady did fall against him weeping. “You are the defender of women,” said she, “and I am in distress.”

“Then let me get mine armor and weapons,” said Sir Gawaine, “and tell me who would abuse you.”

“’Tis no person,” said the lady. “I am rather tormented by a sense that my kisses are obnoxious, for my lord hath avoided me lately.” And she lifted her mouth to him, the which was moist and red.

“Your breath, lady,” said Gawaine, “is fragrant as the zephyrs of spring. I cannot believe that your kisses are repulsive.”

“Well,” said the lady, “then there must be something offensive in the touch of my lips.” And she pursed these for his inspection.

“Nay,” said Sir Gawaine. “They are flawless as the rose.”

“Yet,” said she, “you can not be certain unless you press them to your own.”

“Perhaps that is true,” said Sir Gawaine. “But should I be the one to make this test?”

“But who other?” asked the lady. “I can not subject my husband to it, for it is precisely he who I fear finds me obnoxious. And any man who is not a knight of the Round Table could never be trusted.”

“Trusted, lady?” asked Gawaine, endeavoring to loosen her clasp, which had now been lowered to his waist, to the end that their bellies were joined.

“A knight of lesser virtue, enflamed by my kiss, alone with me, my lord being in the remote forest, I attired lightly as I am, he in a robe of fine thin stuff that betrays the least stirring of his loins—” And so said the lady, and she heaved with the horror of it.

And Sir Gawaine said hastily, “Certes, I am trustworthy in this regard. Now, lady, your argument hath moved me. I shall accept one kiss from you, for the purpose of examining it.”

And the lady forthwith crushed her hot mouth against his lips and had he not clenched his jaws and so erected a barrier of teeth, she would have thrust her tongue into his throat so far as it would go, for it battered against his gums with great force.

And when he at last broke free, he said, “Your kiss is sweet, I assure you. But perhaps it is given too strenuously.” (And truly, his lips were full sore.) And then he said, “As guest in Liberty Castle I have this wish, which must be honored, and it is that this test be taken as concluded.” Therefore, as she was constrained to do by the laws of the place, the lady went away.

Now when the lord returned from his hunt he came to Sir Gawaine, saying, “Well, here you are, sir knight, a brace of fine fat partridges, the which are my gain, and all of it, from a day in the forest. Now, what have you got here that, according to our agreement, you shall give to me?”

“As I predicted,” said Sir Gawaine, “I have nothing to give you, having received nothing.”

“I beg you to re-examine your memory,” said the lord. “Surely you received something during my absence that you had not previously possessed?”

And Sir Gawaine was ashamed, first for his failure of recall, and then for what he must needs confess.

“I received a kiss, my lord,” said he, coloring. But then he realized that he was not obliged to say who had kissed him (and the situation at Liberty Castle was such that there were many possible candidates).

“Very well, then,” said the lord smiling. “Pray give it me.”

Now Gawaine’s shame was increased, for he understood that the terms of the agreement were absolute, but manfully he did purse his lips and press them to the cheek of the lord.

“Now,” said the lord, “is this precisely how you received this kiss, and did the giver thereof make a similar grimace?”

Sir Gawaine hung his head and said, “Nay, my lord.” And then gathering his strength he lifted his mouth to the lord’s and, doing his best to simulate the tender expression of the lady, he kissed him full upon the lips.

“Splendid!” said the lord. “You are a truthful knight of much worship.”

Now the following day the lord came to Sir Gawaine once again, and he announced to him that he would make the same exchange with him as he had done the day before. But Gawaine did protest against this.

“Sir,” said the lord, “I took you for a courteous knight. Are Arthur’s men given to such rudeness?”

“With all respect, my lord,” said Gawaine, “I am fasting for my appointment with the Green Knight, and therefore I can not eat game.”

“Then I shall bring to you some other goods of the forest,” said the lord, and then he looked narrowly at Sir Gawaine. “Sir,” said he, “methinks you worry that you will have to give me another kiss.”

Now though this was quite true, Sir Gawaine could hardly confess to it without being discourteous in the extreme, and therefore he bowed and said, “My lord, I make this pact with you once again.”

But so soon as the lord left the castle this time, Gawaine, eschewing the use of the silver bell and hoping thereby to elude the lady, went alone in search of the chapel, but though he looked everywhere he could not find it. Therefore he returned to the chamber where he had spent the night and he knelt by his bed clasping his hands in the attitude of prayer, but before he could begin his orisons the lady appeared from nowhere and embraced him.

Then he rose with difficulty and freeing himself gently from her, he said, “Lady, it would be indecent for me to talk with you at this time. Pray let us wait until your husband returns from the hunt.”

But the lady said, “Sir, remember your sworn duty to all women! Once again I require your aid, and the vows you have taken will never allow you to deny me.” And she drew aside the transparent stuff that swathed her bosom, and she bared her breasts absolutely.

“Ah,” she cried, “you start back, just as does my husband when I undress before him! Then it is as I fear: my bosom is hideous.”

“No, that is not true, lady,” said Sir Gawaine. “Between waist and shoulders you are very beautiful.”

“Do you say my mammets are round?” asked the lady.

“Very round,” said Sir Gawaine.

“And full?”

“Very full.”

“Yet high.”

“Oh, indeed high,” said Sir Gawaine as he walked backwards, for she continued to approach him.

“But think you that the paps are discolored?” And now she held herself in two hands, so that the pink nipples did peek through the white fingers.

“Never discolored,” said Gawaine, who was now against the arras and could retreat no farther.

“Not brown then?”

“Certes,” said Sir Gawaine, “they are rather of the hue of the Afric orchid.”

“Oh,” said the lady, taking her hands away, “but they are cold! Methinks breasts should be warm, or if not, then warmed.” And before Sir Gawaine knew what he did, she had taken his fingers and put them onto her bosoms. “Now tell me if they are cold.”

“Lady,” said Gawaine, “they are quite near burning.” And for a dreadful moment he could not control his fingers, and finally it was she who drew back, saying haughtily, “Sir, I did not seek kneading. I wished only to know my temperature.”

And Sir Gawaine was chagrined. “Forgive me, lady.” He sighed with great feeling. “Now, by my privilege as guest, I wish to be alone.” Therefore she vanished, and he fell to praying ardently.

Now when the lord returned from the forests he presented to Sir Gawaine the flayed hide of a bear, and he said, “There you have my day’s spoil, and all of it. What shall you give me in return?”

And this time Sir Gawaine was ready for him, and he was relieved that it was not so distasteful a thing as a kiss. “I have for you a touch of the chest,” said he. “Therefore if you will remove your hauberk and breastplate and raise your doublet, I shall give it you.”

Now the lord did these things, and Sir Gawaine groped at his chest, which was covered with a thick mat of hair very like that of the bearskin.

Then the lord began to laugh, for he was ticklish, and when Sir Gawaine was done the lord said, “And is that all? Did I not know you as a truthful knight, I should wonder at this. Nor is it evident as to whose chest was so tickled in the original episode: your own, or that of another?”

“Mine obligation, methinks,” said Sir Gawaine, “is but to give you what I had got, and so have I done. I am not required to explain it.”

“Aha,” said the lord, “methinks not even a sodomite doth toy with a hairy chest, and certes you are anyway not a sod. May I then assume it was rather a woman’s full bosom which you fondled?”

“My lord,” said Gawaine, “our agreement is to be kept to the letter, no more and no less.”

And the lord did laugh merrily, saying, “Well put, my dear sir.”

“And now,” said Sir Gawaine, “may I ask you to show me to the chapel, for ’tis there I intend to stay at prayers until my appointment with the Green Knight, which is now but two mornings away.”

But the lord said, “I’m afraid there is no chapel at Liberty Castle, good Sir Gawaine. We are pagans here, and furthermore we make no apology for so being.”

Sir Gawaine crossed himself. “I should have understood that,” said he. “Absolute liberty is the freedom to be depraved.”

“But only if you choose to make it so,” said the lord. “One can also see it as the only situation in which principles may be put to the proof. No strength of character is needed to stay virtuous under restraint.”