Armed and Fabulous (Lexi Graves Mysteries) (25 page)

"I've never heard of it."

"It's not exactly well known," said Lily. "It's a members
’
club. Did you say you found this in your boss' office?" she asked,
blinking at me
.

"On his desk," I said
slowly
, which strictly speaking
,
wasn't a lie. I just didn't specify
which
desk. Lily suppressed a smile, tho
ugh her eyes
widened
and she opened her mouth to say something
before clamping
it shut again.
"What?" I asked.

"Flames isn
'
t
your
average
club," Lily said.

"I can't imagine Martin Dean in any kind of club."

"You'll struggle to imagine him in this one. Flames is a sex club."

I blinked. "Pardon?"

"A sex club. You know...
PVC and leather, paddles and spanking. Dominatrixes and stuff like that."

"You have got to be kidding me."
I spanned the distance between incredulous and appalled in three seconds flat.

"'Fraid not. I've worked the door there a couple of times. It's very exclusive."

I turned to
Maddox
. "I wonder what else Dean h
id
in the closet."

"Oh, he's definitely not in the closet if he's going to Fl
ames, or even out of the closet,
"
Lily continued as she
flipped the matchbook over one more time and then passed it back to me. "It's a couples' club. Men can only go if they
bring
a woman with them. It
ensures
there's always the same amount of women and men, and it stops
lecherous
,
loner
weirdos
getting in. Someone has to vouch for every member or guest. Your Martin Dean
would
either have been the guest of a woman, or he'
d
have sponsored a woman to get in."

"And they...
do stuff in there?"

"No! That's illegal,” said Lily, catching my intimation
with a grimace of her own
. “
Whatever they do
when they leave is up to them.”

"Why did you never tell me about this?"

"It never came up!"

"It should have!" I protested. This was exactly the kind of juice Lily should
have
give
n
me. However, there was something more interesting that superseded that. "So now we have a mystery woman," I mused. "Maybe part of the fraud?"

"Or someone who just likes to get spanked."
Lily shrugged.

I chanced a glance at Maddox, then Solomon. Maddox looked intrigued. Solomon looked bored. However, he could have been jumping with glee inside.
It was hard to tell.

"I want to check it out,
"
I told them.

Lily blanched. "The
spanking?"

"No!” I gave
her
a look. “
I want to know who Martin Dean let it all hang out with. I
never got
the impression he had a lady friend."

"It's worth a try," said Maddox. "But you should leave it up to us."

Lily flicked a glance at him. "Mmm, yes. They'll like you in there."

"Do you know the owners?" I asked Lily, ignoring
Maddox
's paling face. "Can you find out if Dean was a regular?"

"Sure. If that's okay?" she asked out of deference for the equal number of law enforcement versus nosy parkers in the room. Maddox nodded and Lily pulled out her cell phone and
dialed
, waiting while the line connected. "Hey, is that Jane? It's Lily. I know. Forever, right? Listen, I have a quick favor to ask. I know this girl who's seeing this guy and, to cut a long story short, we think he's no good. And here's the kicker. I'm sure
I saw
him when I worked the door at Flames. Yeah. I want to warn my girlfriend off
him,
if he's regular with another woman. Can you run his name against the door list for me? It's Martin Dean. Sure, I'll wait."

We waited breathlessly for Lily's friend to make her checks. Then Lily's eyes widened and she gushed a little to her friend
while agreeing
to switch a shift
. When she clicked off, we were waiting.

"So, here's the thing. Martin Dean was a regular for the past year and he was always with the same woman. Seems they were pretty hot and heavy too. Her name is Tallulah Smith." Lily cramped her fingers into bunny ears around the name. "Sounds fake to me. It's not unusual. Not everyone wants to
bare it all while they’re, uh, baring it all
. We're lucky Dean didn't care. My friend
,
Jane
,
said he’s a watcher not a doer.”

I met
Maddox
's eyes
, trying not to think about what that meant
. "This is the only way of finding her if she knows something."

"I have to get into that club," he said
, nodding
. "We need to find her. I don't think you should be part of this."

Lily coughed and
cast
a look at me. "You're going to need a woman to get inside," she reminded him.

"Me," I said.

"No way."

"Where else are you going to find a woman?"

"Where indeed?" Solomon smiled.

"And I just took tonight's door duty so I can put you on the guest list." Lily grinned. "The club is a once
-
a
-
month
thing. This is the only chance you'll get before next
month
.
Doors open in an hour.
"

"And your boss already knows I'm working with you
," I said, with a pleased smile as I watched Maddox’s mental cogs turn.

Evidently
,
he decided he didn’t want to miss the opportunity because he said,
"Fine. We'll poke around, see if anyone knows who this woman is, then we're leaving. As soon as we get a name, or
our
eyeballs on her, we'll leave and someone else can pick her up. We'll put a wire on you. Solomon can listen in from the car."

"I'll find you something to wear," said Lily w
ith a pleased clap of her hands
.

"Can't I just wear a dress?" I asked.

Lily stifled a giggle and shook her head. "Oh, honey, no.
You have nothing suitable. Trust me.
"

Ten
minutes later, Lily and I
stood in my bedroom. Lily had run downstairs, rifled her closet and produced a garment I can only describe as
…

O
hmygodtherewasnowayIwaswearingthat
.

Made out of a stretchy material, it was cut into a sleeveless halter-neck and ended a
round
four inches below my butt. Worst of all, it
appeared to be about ten inches
long
in its entirety
.
Hello
,
my old friend,
S
pandex.

"What am I supposed to wear under that?"

"
Two Band
-
Aids and
a thong."

"This is a joke right?" I asked, putting my hand
up
it.
I think I saw a spark.

"Sweetie, this is practically
P
uritan for Flames. Wear a
strapless
bra and a thong," she
insisted
.

"A
bra and hotpants," I countered, wincing at the thought of the fabric slithering up my thighs.

Lily blew out an exasperated breath. "Oh boy. You're not going to know where to look tonight."

"I don't see you telling Adam to wear a dress
barely larger than a t-shirt
."

"He's in black jeans and a shirt. He looks fine. The stubble is a nice touch. He'll fit right in."

"Major double standards."

"Tell me about it."

I ushered Lily out the room
. After a long moment of holding the tiny dress in front of me and rethinking the plan, I
exhaled long and hard
. It would only
last
for an hour
and we’d be out of there
. How bad could it be? I
changed quickly, pulling on the hotpants and
a
strapless
,
black push-up bra that squished my boobs up front a
nd center
. Then I
pull
ed
on the
dress and smooth
ed
it over my hips and thighs. I finished the look off with a pair of hooker heels borrowed from Lily that I hoped to God I would never have to wear again.

With my hands on my hips, staring into the mirror, I was sad to say that all the workouts and the Saturday spinning had paid off enough that I didn't have to worry about not holding back on the pasta
at
dinner. I just
didn’t
th
ink
this was the moment I had worked towards, as opposed to say, having Maddox undress me and do naughty things that I would really,
really
enjoy.

I looked again at the hemline, already inching
to my
upper
-thigh
,
despite
my attempts at
stretch
ing
it.
I didn't want to leave the bedroom, much less go into the wide world wea
ring this get
-
up. What if my mother
saw me? What if someone who knew my mom saw me?
Like a TV reel in my head,
I c
ould see the car crash news now:
the Graves
’
Hiccup spotted in full-on slutwear
,
cruising the streets of Montgomery, temping replaced by a life of vice. My mother would have to cancel her adult ed
’
classes
;
my father would lock and bolt the door
;
my brothers would probably arrest m
e for my own good
;
and Serena...
Serena would point out that she had a different surname now and pretend not to know me.