Arizona Embrace (41 page)

A horrible fear assailed Trinity. “You weren’t using me just to prove there was nothing wrong with you, were you?”

Victoria looked puzzled at first but laughed in understanding.

If you mean am I going to throw you over now that I know everything about me works right, the answer is definitely no. I’ve spent a great deal of time during the last weeks convincing you I was innocent. Now that I have, I don’t intend to waste any of this newfound faith in me. I intend to make you marry me and protect me from the Red Beards of this world for the rest of my life.”

Trinity sobered. “You realize I have more enemies than you do. The families of some of the men I’ve taken in would love to see me dead.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to protect you,” Victoria said. “But you’ve got to promise to love me first.”

“I’ll love you for the rest of my life. I never thought I could love anyone like I love you.”

Victoria’s eyes filled with tears.

“I guess I can’t ask for any more than that. Just love me the best you can, and I’ll be satisfied.”

Trinity made love to Victoria again. Only now he took all the time he wanted to explore her body, to search out the places which affected her the most, to find the little touches which deepened her pleasure. He ignored her protests that he was torturing her beyond the limits of the human body. He turned a deaf ear to her pleas that he put out the fire that raged inside before it consumed her.

In the process of seeking to bring Victoria to her most exquisite fulfillment, he discovered that despite his experience, he had never known a thing about love until this moment.

Victoria leaned against the corral fence as she watched Diablo stretch his legs in the confined space. Since Trinity left, she had spent every minute of her time with the horse, talking to him, feeding him, currying him, anything to forget Trinity’s absence.

He had made love to her once more when they awoke, and her body still hummed with contentment. She was a happy woman. No longer did she worry that no one would ever make love to her. Trinity had convinced her that whatever the reason Buc and Jeb had kept their distance, it hadn’t been her fault.

She tried not to remember too many details. It made her blush, especially when she remembered how she had begged him to make love to her. She knew nothing about what other women did, but she did know a man expected to take the lead. Yet Trinity hadn’t seemed to mind. He had responded to her entreaty with satisfying vigor.

“Satisfying vigor”
described a lot of things about him, as a man and as a lover. In fact, the more she learned about him, the more satisfying he became in her eyes. The faults which she once saw in him were now attributable to a determination to do a distasteful job, a task taken on for an even more laudable reason.

The reason was good enough for Victoria to forgive him for having catapulted her into this mess in the first place. But it would all be over as soon as he returned with Chalk Gillet. They might never be able to find out who killed Jeb, but at least she would be able to prove she didn’t.

As certain as Victoria was that Trinity would be successful, she couldn’t ignore the possibility that Chalk was dead. There had to be a reason no one had seen him since that night. He might even have seen the killer. Either someone paid him to leave, he left because he was afraid of the killer, or the killer decided letting Chalk live was a risk he couldn’t take.

As certain as Victoria was that Trinity could do anything he set his mind to, she knew he couldn’t bring Chalk back from the grave. Without his testimony, she would still be a condemned criminal awaiting execution.

Even if Trinity refused to let her face her sentence, she would always be a fugitive from justice. She would have to go back to living like she did in Arizona, looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life.

Victoria didn’t mink she could stand that, not after envisioning her life as Trinity’s wife. Though he’d accepted her proposal, he hadn’t
asked
her to marry him. There were too many things in his own mind he hadn’t faced yet, but he would either by himself or with her help. She still didn’t know how to help him erase feeling responsible for his father’s death, but she’d figure that out, too. If only she could live!

She could recall thinking life a burden, of wishing it could somehow be over. But now nothing was more precious to her than the chance to spend her life with Trinity, to bear his children, to share his happiness and success, to comfort him when he hurt inside and didn’t want anybody else to know. Everything she ever wanted from life was tied up in that man.

Such a priceless gift, an opportunity which should have been hers by right, and this monstrous miscarriage of justice stood between them.

“He’s a lot like you,” she said to Diablo as he approached the fence hesitantly, one step at a time, to take the sugar in her hand. “You’re mad because someone hurt you, and you’re determined to take it out on everybody. He’s mad at himself and can’t forgive himself. Both of you have got to realize it was something you couldn’t help. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent it. You’ve got to forget it, or it’ll ruin the rest of your life.”

“You always talk to horses, ma’am?” Ward asked. Victoria hadn’t heard him come up. He had brought the bridle and saddle she wanted.

“Lots of times it’s easier to say what you mean to an animal than a person.”

It’s always easier if you’re talking about Trinity, and I know you are.”

“You ever try to tell him anything?”

“All the time. I told him not to come back to Texas. I told him not to buy this place. I told him to get rid of that horse.”

“No wonder he doesn’t listen to you,” Victoria said. “You give terrible advice.”

“I should have known you’d think that way.”

“Why?”

“You agreed to come back to Texas knowing Blazer wanted to hang you.”

Victoria laughed in spite of herself. “It does sound a little crazy. But even though it was the right thing to do, I didn’t really have much choice. So I can’t take credit for that decision.”

“Well you think this devil can be gentled, and that makes you crazy in my book.”

“Well see. Trinity believes he just needs to know he’s not going to be hurt anymore. Will you help me saddle him?”

“Not if you mean to ride him. Trinity would have my neck.”

“I’m not going to ride him. I just want to see how he takes the saddle.”

“He takes it all right, but his eyes turn white all around the edges. It gets so mere’s almost no color at all. When you hop in the saddle, he tries to kill you.”

“I promised Trinity I wouldn’t try to ride him, but I am going to try to convince him Tm not going to hurt him.”

“You’re wasting your time. I don’t know what happened to him, but it’s one lesson he’s never going to forget.”

“Is that how you feel about Trinity?”

Ward looked her square in the eye. “Yes, ma’am, it is. Something inside him got all tore up. I don’t say it ain’t possible for you to fix it up a little, but I don’t see how you’re going to do it from the end of a rope.”

The unpleasant reminder of what awaited her in Bandera dampened Victoria’s enthusiasm.

Take down the bars. Trinity is going to find Chalk and prove I didn’t kill Jeb.”

“I hope so, but if I was you, I’d be looking about for another line of defense.”

“Like what?”

“Like who did kill him.”

“You don’t think I did?”

“Trinity has gone after nineteen people. He took eighteen of them in. He wouldn’t have brought you here, even if he was so nutty on you he couldn’t think straight, unless he knowed you didn’t do it. Whatever Trinity thinks is good enough for me.”

Victoria stepped across the lowered bars to cover her misty-eyed response to Ward’s vote of confidence. “Hand me the bridle.”

“You be real careful. Just because that Devil’s always let Trinity saddle him don’t mean he can’t change his mind.”

Speaking softly and in a steady, singsong rhythm, Victoria held out her hand with more sugar in the palm. Diablo took the sugar and stood calmly while she pulled the bridle over his ears. He didn’t even seem to mind the bit.

“Somebody trained him very well.”

“You only have to look at the scars to see why he forgot his lessons.”

Victoria couldn’t stand to look at the unsightly swath of scar tissue on Diablo’s flanks. It was inconceivable to her that anyone could use spurs on a horse until his sides were torn and bleeding. As she spread the blanket over his broad back, she could feel his muscle begin to quiver. She stepped back far enough to look into his eyes. Sure enough, the pupils had begun to shrink in size. He stood perfectly still, but his eyes were the eyes of a dangerous animal.

“You’ll have to put the saddle on him. I can’t lift it,” Victoria said. “For years I tried to figure out who might have killed Jeb, but everybody who had a reason was somewhere else. He must have gotten into trouble with somebody I didn’t know about.”

Ward dropped the saddle on Diablo’s back. Victoria reached for the cinch.

“I wouldn’t cinch him too tight if I were you” Ward warned. “It makes him kick.”

“Okay. I just want him to wear the saddle for a couple of hours. If nobody rides him, maybe he’ll begin to forget what happened.”

After a look at his eyes, Victoria wondered if Diablo would ever forget. He watched her now with nearly white eyes; his pupils were tiny pinpoints. It gave her the shivers.

“If I was you, I’d forget about him. You got enough things on your mind without worrying about this crazy horse,” Ward grumbled.

But for the next two days Victoria continued to worry about the horse. It did no good to worry about the other things on her mind. She couldn’t do anything about them—not until Trinity got back.

Victoria watched Diablo from the shade of three huge pecan trees planted so they would shade one side of the barn and the corner of the corral from the blazing afternoon sun.

This was the third day she had put the saddle on him, and this morning his eyes hardly changed at all. In fact, after about half an hour, they seemed to have gone back to normal.

She sat on a bench built around the trunk of one of the trees. She ought to go up to the house and fix supper (she’d already learned she couldn’t eat a thing if Ward did the cooking), but she wanted to be alone. She knew she shouldn’t be. The minute she was alone, she started thinking about Trinity, and there was no point in that. Everything had to wait until he returned.

It did no good to feel love, anger, impatience, anxiety … anything … until he returned. She had spent the days since he left trying to turn off her emotions. She hadn’t been very successful, especially at night.

Maybe she would be more successful tonight. Ward had promised to take her out to see the horses Trinity was so proud of. He kept them in a canyon not far from the ranch. As much as on cows, the future of the Demon D depended on those horses.

And Diablo.

She leaned back against the tree. After being awake most of the night, she felt sleepy. The warmth of the sun only made it worse. There was no reason to stay awake. Sleep would make the long hours pass more quickly.

Victoria tossed restlessly in the bed. Trinity had been away for three nights and she hadn’t been able to sleep yet. She wished she hadn’t taken that nap under the pecan trees, but she had been so tired she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Now she couldn’t get them to close.

She got out of bed. She had decided to sleep in Trinity’s room tonight in hopes it would make her sleep better. It hadn’t. It only made her think of the times he had made love to her. After a few minutes of remembering the wonderful things he had done to her body, she started to tremble with a need only Trinity could satisfy. She wouldn’t get anywhere staying in bed; it would only get worse.

It didn’t matter if she didn’t get dressed before going downstairs. Ward slept in the barn. She had the house to herself. She didn’t light a lamp. She didn’t need one. She remembered every foot of the house. Besides, a full moon made it almost as bright as daylight outside.

She looked across the plain to the north, toward Bandera. It was just a little backward town, yet it held the key to the rest of her life. Most of the people who came to Jeb’s parties lived in Bandera. She had never liked those people or that town at all.

She ambled down the steps. The hall was sunk in deep shadow, but Victoria reached the kitchen without bumping into anything. She didn’t want anything to eat. She didn’t want any coffee, but she did want some cool water. She would use the pump on the back porch. The water in the kitchen jug would be tepid after the day’s heat.

Victoria’s hand had closed over the doorknob when the sight of three men, running across the moonlit expanse of yard between the house and the barn, made her freeze. Through the open window she could just barely hear the scrape of their boots on the hard-packed ground.

She stood, frozen with fear. Who could know she was here?

Nobody, you fool,
she told herself, trying to calm her fears.
They’re probably after Trinity. It’s got nothing to do with you
. But it didn’t work. Suppose they were after her? She was all alone. If they took her away, no one would even know what happened to her. She tried to tell herself they couldn’t possibly know she wasn’t still in Arizona, but the fear wouldn’t go away. She had lived with it so long it seemed a constant companion … except when Trinity was with her.