Arissa's Fate (Redemption Trilogy) (10 page)

“
You’ve been through a lot, Arissa. I know you’re worried that I’m going to think that you’re a bad person, but honey...I don’t care about any of that. I had no idea how strong a person you really are. You may have done horrible things in the past, but we don’t live in the past. We’re living for the future, because, Arissa, we know what our future is. The General and all those other people who are trying to drag us down are just cowards looking to pick on someone smaller than they are. You are beautiful and wonderful and the most amazing person that’s left in this world.”

Arissa blinked quickly, swiping at her eyes, trying to dry them up. Cayl’s green
-eyed expression was so understanding and compassionate, it made Arissa’s heart ache with love for him.

“
I feel like I’ve been through hell again tonight. All I want to do right now is stop talking for the rest of the night...and just be with you. I love you,” her voice was barely perceptible.

Her eyes were suddenly shadowed with dark, intense passion as Cayl returned the same expression, his skin
growing warm against her own flesh.

Without a word, he stood, scooping her up into his strong embrace, holding her tightly against his chest. Arissa reached down to throw back the blanket on the bed when they reached it and when he set her down, she stripped off her button shirt,
revealing only her white undergarment and slipped under the single blanket, feeling the soft comfort of the bed against her sore and aching body.

Cayl had tossed the borrowed shirt, revealing the white bandage around his torso again and joined Arissa as quickly as he could. The burning lamplight danced, flickering golden against their bronzed skin. His strong, handsome features were illuminated in the romantic lighting, as was Arissa’s striking face. Her long eyelashes cast shadows out over her cheek bones, fluttering whenever she blinked.

She couldn’t get close enough to her husband that she had missed for so long, pressing herself closer as their passionate kiss deepened. Their fingers intertwined, Cayl’s smooth, even breathing quickly relaxed Arissa, as if the stress and horror of the day had never happened.

In
the next moment, the lamp suddenly burned itself out, leaving them alone in the darkness, with only each other for comfort.

Chapter Eighteen

When Arissa awoke the next morning, she didn’t feel sore and groggy like she had been expecting. She finally felt at ease, peaceful and safe, even though the world above them was still the same maddening place, having Cayl with her again made her feel complete.

Cuddled against his warm chest, Arissa let her fingertips trace
around his muscles as she stared into the darkness. It felt like her brain had gone into a complete shut down after her flashbacks from the night before. Not wanting to face the world, she didn’t want to move ever again, just stay sunken into the warm bed, filled with memories of their night together.

It was nearly an hour until Cayl awoke beside her. Neither spoke, but he met her with a lengthy kiss, sufficiently helping pull her completely out of her exhaustion. Immediately, her heart soared as it always did by his gentle touch.

The air in the room was cool but even in her thin, sleeveless undershirt from the night before, she felt comfortable with Cayl beside her.

There was no way of knowing what time it was or even if was morning, but Ar
issa finally felt hungry. She asked if Cayl felt the same and when he responded, she sighed, bracing herself for the chilly air.

Only then did Arissa realize that there was a faint light cast over the room, the same way it had been last night. It startled her for a moment, when she remembered that the lamp had burned itself out the night before. However, before she could
be alarmed, she saw that beside the glowing lantern, was a large, covered platter. Stuck under one corner was a folded piece of paper. Either Landon or Yasmine must have come down earlier, while they had both been asleep yet.

Arissa sat down at the table, pulling the note free and unfolding it. Before her eyes could adjust to the dim
lighting enough to see the words, she started when she felt Cayl's hand on her shoulder.

“
What does it say?” he whispered, keeping his warm hands pressed against her shoulders.

She unfolded it before responding, quickly sweeping over the elegantly handwritten words. It was definitely Yasmine's writing, because Arissa knew that Landon's hand was less than legible. There were brief instructions about the medicine
she had included with the warm food under the lid for Cayl and went on to say what had happened since they had been hidden beneath the house.

“
‘Patrols were here looking for you,’” Arissa read aloud to Cayl. “There was a rumour that someone had seen you both travelling in the area and they were ordered to search every building until they found you. Do not worry, you are completely safe where you are. Landon left to his blacksmith shop to meet with someone he thinks may be able to help. Do not come out of hiding until he comes for you.”

They were both silent for a moment, pondering Yasmine's warning. Of course, Arissa hadn't expected that they would be able to travel straight through one of the most populated towns for travellers and not be noticed, but she had been hoping it would have taken them longer than this to restart their manhunt for her. The important thing was that Cayl was healing and Yasmine was right, nobody could find them as long as they were there.

“We can't hide forever. Soon, we'll have to leave and that puts us back to square one,” Arissa whispered sadly.

Cayl still stood behind her, sweeping his hand up to rest against her cheek. She leaned into his touch, and sighed, folding the letter before she let herself read it again. Swiftly
, Cayl pulled the second chair around so that it was nearly touching Arissa's.

“
Let's not worry about it right now. Just focus on what we've accomplished so far. And food, because I'm starving.”

Smiling, Arissa attempted to push out all
worrisome and negative thoughts from her mind while they ate the stew that Yasmine had brought them. It was chunks of meat and vegetables floating in the rich gravy, the type of wholesome meal that Arissa had not seen for a very long time. Again, she thought about what a smart idea it had been of her to store so much food. Even though she and Landon were far from wealthy, they would always be able to eat well.

“
How are you feeling?” she asked Cayl after she had finished her bowl, washing it down with one of the mugs of comfortably warm tea.

Cayl nodded, but slowly,
signalling discomfort. Even though he had taken the medicine Yasmine had sent in a small paper fold, his face was still strained with agony. “It's still sore, but I'll heal. No need to worry.”

“Yeah, right,” Arissa remarked. Her eyes were still tired and with nothing else to do, going back to sleep sounded like an amazing idea. But as much as she tried to force her problems from her mind, the more intense and demanding they grew.

Cayl stacked the bowls on the tray and covered them again.
“I know what you're thinking.”

“
You usually do, so why should that surprise me?”

“
It shouldn't. But you're right. We don't know how long it will be until it's safe to leave, but we have to have a plan when we do.”

Nodding, Arissa agreed, but then added, sadly.
“That's true, but actually, I was thinking about Raze.”

Confusion flickered in his eyes for a moment.
“Raze? Your horse? Why? Where is he?”

Arissa shrugged, saddened.
“I don't know. I lost him on the Varkland mountain. He got spooked and ran when we heard a gunshot. I don't know what happened to him or even if he made it home.”

“
Maybe he went home. He knows his way to our stable and everyone there knows him. I'm sure he's safe.”

She hoped so. Raze had been her best friend ever since she had found the gangly, starving colt, abandoned outside a rubble town. It was when she had first started her bounty hunting job and she had raised him into the showy stallion he was now. In the last ten years, she had never used any other horse except her own. Raze
had become a special part of her and if anything had happened to him...she didn't want to think about it.

Thinking back to when she had gotten her horse made her remember everything she had explained to Cayl last
night. She didn't want to, it was the last thing she wanted to think about, but it became more and more difficult until she just blurted it out.

“
After everything I told you last night, all the horrible things I had done, you honestly don't think any different of me?” It had bothered her all night and even now she didn't quite believe it.

Cayl paused, holding her gaze for a moment longer before leaning toward her again and saying, firmly,
“Of course I think different of you, Arissa. You opened up to me last night and shared your deepest and darkest horrors. In the ten years we've been together, I have never once seen you cry and last night you couldn't stop crying. That tells me that not only have you given up and moved past the person you used to be, but you've grown into someone who isn't afraid to share your most sensitive feelings anymore. Knowing what you've been through and who you've had to be to better your life for yourself and those around you shows as much courage and bravery that any person has the right to. I told you before, Arissa, I didn't think I could love you any more than I already did, but now...I know that I do.”

His strong words were both encouraging and heartbreaking to hear. Knowing he was there for her through everything was the most comforting thing she could ha
ve heard, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel disappointed and ashamed of herself all over again. Cayl thought she had changed from the person she had been before they met, the heartless, vindictive criminal. At times over the years she had led herself to believe that too, just to sooth her own subconscious, but now she knew she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She was no different now than before. She was still the same person who had once been the most wanted criminal in the territory, still someone who killed for a living and sought out the redemption and revenge of those who had wronged her. The fact that she wanted the General's death to be as painful as possible and she wanted to be the one who would end his life, proved that. How could she have moved on and left that life behind when all she wanted was to kill again?

Arissa couldn't tell if Cayl was reading her morbid thoughts, but after spilling everything to him that she had to tell, she wasn't
comfortable with sharing this as well. He would probably try to talk her out of it, saying it would only ignite the person she was trying to outgrow, but she didn't want that. She didn't want to be a better person if it meant letting the General and everybody else who had ruined her life live. She wanted them to suffer the way she had suffered. She would be the one to end their lives and it was going to be soon.

Instead, Arissa fixed a grin in place and glanced into Cayl's expression for a moment. She loved him and he now knew everything there was to know about her and her sketchy
past and horrifying job, but this was one thing that he didn't have to know. This one she could keep secret.

“
Thanks for understanding.”

Chapter Nineteen

With no way of measuring time, the hours dragged on longer than Arissa had imagined. They talked briefly about different things, discussing their ideas of what exactly had happened to the Captain. Neither could come up with a reasonable explanation
because they had absolutely no evidence or suspects at all. That would have to be something they put together later. Arissa participated in the conversation, but she felt distracted.

Luckily, Cayl didn't mention anything thing about it and
, before he had the chance to, a sudden flood of light filled their room. Landon had removed the hidden cover to the trapdoor and was now descending the stairs. Given that he didn't bother to reseal the opening, Arissa took that as a good sign.

His face was strained and lines of worry were etched into his forehead as well, but at least his eyes appeared
hopeful.

“
You're safe for now. If you plan on moving on to Daer, now may be your only chance,” he informed them. “The soldiers were here, they did a sweep through the entire town. They focused mainly on the house and my shop, since everybody knows your connection to me, Arissa. I don't think any of them believed me when I said I had no idea where you were, but they couldn't question it when you were nowhere to be found. They moved on, farther south, but still...be careful.”

Not bothering to wait for a reply, he turned to leave again, adding a final comment,
“Take whatever you want from the storage of clothing down here. I put together some things for you, as well.”

With that he was gone and with the trap door left open, it took Arissa a moment to adjust her eyes to the lighting
. She glanced up warily to meet Cayl's expression, which was poised, but serious.

“
I guess it's time,” she muttered softly.

Cayl nodded in agreement. He moved back to the chest that had held the piles of clothes, picking a shirt that fit him comfortably and another thicker shirt to wear over it. They
both had their heavy cloaks, so they didn't bother borrowing a jacket. Arissa simply picked up her brown shirt she had discarded the night before. It was warm and comfortable.

It only took them a moment to gather what they needed and ascend the stairs. Arissa instantly went
back into her mood or paranoia, cautiously glancing in every direction, as if a rifle-wielding soldier may jump out and attack at any moment.

She reached back to grip Cayl's forearm, carefully helping him make the final steps. Bending
was still difficult for him, but he made it up without much struggle.

Landon and Yasmine stood next to the table on which she had mended Cayl's wound. He held a small, black bag in one hand by the single strap that was attached
to it. Both of their faces were stern, visibly worried.

It took her a moment to notice, when Arissa finally turned to fully face them, but when she saw the bundle that Yasmine was holding, her heart leaped for a second. As her
eyes watched the tiny, stirring bundle, her heart wrenched and her expression immediately fell.

She knew that Landon and Yasmine had recently become parents, but with everything that had happened since
then, there had been no chance for Arissa to meet her yet.

Feeling emotion threatening to well into her eyes and throat again, Arissa swallowed a few times and blinked
hard. She couldn’t take her eyes from the tiny baby in her mother’s arms.

Ignoring Cayl’s announcing their departure, Arissa quickly set down her cloak that she had been in the process of strapping around her shoulders. She took a step toward
Yasmine, meeting her round, brown eyes finally. Arissa felt almost sheepish as she asked, “Could I hold her a moment?”

“
Of course,” Yasmine’s soothing, delicate voice replied. Her eyes were exactly the same as the baby’s, Arissa realized as she watched the young woman’s soft features slowly warm into a happy glow as she looked down at her child.

When Yasmine reached her tiny daughter out to Arissa, she could nearly feel her heart skip. The warmth of the delicate body was so unique and there was something about the way her huge brown eyes looked up at Arissa that made her want to sit down
and cry. If she was alone, she probably would have. The beautiful baby girl's honest expression made her heart mourn with sadness for what had become of their once beautiful land. Somehow, it made Arissa long for her Daer home even more.

Doing her best to stifle the emotion in her voice, Arissa asked, without looking up from the baby's gorgeous doe
eyes, “What's her name?”

“
Ariella,” Yasmine announced proudly.

From the corner of her vision, Arissa saw her step closer to Landon, lovingly gripping her husband's
hand with pride.

“
She's beautiful,” Arissa whispered. Her eyes alight with joy, she glanced up to meet Cayl's equally emotional expression over her shoulder as he, too, gazed down and at the new miracle she held.

Quickly pressing her lips to the baby's soft forehead, Arissa felt a single tear slip from her eye when Ariella
squealed a delightful laugh. Arissa couldn't help but smile before carefully handing the baby back to her mother.

“
Thank you,” she mouthed, but was unsure if anyone heard her.

The way she had instantly bonded with the beautiful baby had somehow empowered her ambitions, reminding her of what they were really fighting for outside these walls. Arissa had only ever known the world in the terrible phase that it was in now, but now
she wanted to make damn sure she could make it better. All the innocent children that were growing up in this land were being corrupted by the day and it angered Arissa to no end. She had to make the world, at least her part of the world, a better place.

Without another word about Ariella, Landon handed the black bag to Cayl, explaining that he and Yasmine h
ad packed a small supply of non-perishable food items, as well as several throwing knives, a gun and more of the painkilling medicine for Cayl. Yasmine asked if they needed anything else, but Arissa quickly turned her down, thanking her yet again.

Even though she had only met her baby for less than a minute, it suddenly felt as it was going to be terribly hard to leave her behind. The face of a newborn baby was suddenly making
Arissa feel terribly homesick.

Cayl ushered her towards the door after she had securely fastened her cloak, pulling her dark hair securely behind her shoulders. They slipped smoothly out the door and even Arissa
couldn't make herself look back as they bolted immediately for the forest.