Aries Fire (4 page)

Her mind raced.  She flung wide her door and ran down the steps. It was time to leave her mother’s house.

Lem climbed aboard the wooden chariot and grabbed hold of the reigns. Marina and Theon stood and watched.  Seira threw her sack into the carriage and faced her grandfather.

“I’ll send word of my safe arrival in Athens, Theon.” 

 “Fare well and Heaven’s blessings, Seira,” he said formally, before turning to Lem for final instructions, and then back to Seira. He looked deeply into her eyes.

“You have her spirit and…” he paused. 

And?  What?  My father’s looks?  The gift of a seer? What? She smiled at him.

“It will serve you well,” he finished and turned away from her. He truly believed that her gift of sight would serve her well and this gave her a sense of closeness with him.

She quickly pulled Marina aside and crushed the crumpled letter into her hand.

“Put this back where you found it,” she whispered and then hugged her as was fitting for her devoted service.  Marina’s eyes filled quickly with tears and made Seira sea sick.  “Go. While you are unnoticed,” she ordered. 

Marina feigned wild hysteria and scampered off.  Perhaps she was a clever girl, after-all.  The men casually looked at the maid relieved to be rid of feminine emotions and then turned to Seira.

Seira stepped onto the Sycamore footboard of the carriage and turned her back to Lem. She held onto the faded gold trim of the panel, remembering that her grandfather paid eight deben of silver for this chariot.

A small fortune to some, she thought. Perhaps I’ll never ride on one again.

Theon grabbed her hand tightly.

“I’ll be careful.  I will,” she said.

“It is your will I fear.”

He forced a half smile. His expression told her that he couldn’t bear to lose another so dear to his heart.

“By the stars Grandfather, I will be safe.  I know it.”

The carriage lunged forward and their hands jerked apart. She felt everything at once.  Her mother was dead.  She had never left her family before.  Seira was afraid, nervous, exhausted, and excited all at once.

How strange that just a while ago, I longed to know my mother and to be in the safety of her embrace.

Now, a galaxy away, she turned toward the adventure that lay ahead. The events of the past week had been emotional, unpredictable, and violent.

One day she was a lump of misshapen clay, then the next, a sculpture being carved to its intended design.  Each action in her life or reaction on her part was a cut of the knife angling and defining her destiny.  Every smoothed contour of Seira waited to be recognized and finally seen as a thing of beauty. Everything she was, she owed to her very self and the souls that conspired to shape her. It was so suddenly clear in her mind. 

All the stars were in their proper places, just as people were, Seira thought. Whether or not we understand their direction or conduct,

She believed it was the movement and the stillness of all life that formed, continually reshaped, and sustained her existence.

The carriage bounced along the road to her future. The emerging sun melted over the flat, dry earth and her tired, cracked thoughts. Seira felt an irrefutable feeling of dependence on pure energy for one very long moment.  The feeling was wild, adventurous, and full, sustaining her; she was consoled. This sensation was like uniting with the Giver of Life itself.  Was it the God to which Jews and her mother prayed? Seira could only wonder.

She closed her eyes and lifted her head toward the honey light of morning.  All that she felt in that moment led her to believe that she could not live her life alone; that separation from others would be too much to bear. Yet, Seira was unsure of how to be part of another, to be close.  Seira lived with her family and yet was alone.  Leaving Theon and her home, and witnessing her mother’s death, caused her to feel closer to them than ever before.  This paradox emerged and created a bridge within her, an understanding.   Hidden feelings of grief joined the thoughts of her mother’s death.

She couldn’t deny it any longer. Seira surrendered to the sorrow and wept deeply for the loss of her mother. The wind tore through her hair and untangled her thoughts.  The cries of her sadness were drowned in the horse’s gallop. Lem, unaware of her sobs, kept the horse at a steady pace toward the port.

Seira would never see her mother again, but stranger still in that very moment, she could feel her mother’s presence. Hypatia’s scent rode the wind into Seira’s lungs and filled her with life and a tender whisper of the truth.

Seira wept and was comforted by the very one she mourned.

There is no such thing as loss, the feeling said, no such thing as death when the living Source of all Spirit permeates the very soul of another. All are one.

The driving whip slapped the horse’s haunches and he galloped proudly, persistently, so accepting of his station.  Sand flew from beneath the wheels, spraying the carriage panels. Seira braced her arms to keep from falling, pretending to lie curled in a ball with her mother’s arms wrapped tightly inside of her. Seira felt her; knowing she was there.  Seira wasn’t alone.

Chapter Two

Fish, wood, journey, and lust

Or, Venus conjunct MidHeaven in the 9th

L
EM AND SEIRA
safely boarded the Ishtar, a very trustworthy merchant vessel. After brief and crude introductions between Seira, Lem, the captain, and first mate, Mahmoud, there was nothing more to be said.  The captain turned to give orders.  She was surprised to see that he was only five or six years her senior. The captain turned away quickly from Seira. She knew his thoughts.

He doesn’t like the idea of a virgin tempting his men, she thought.

Seira looked about the ship and saw at least a dozen men carrying cargo and hauling huge ropes.  She had not been on a merchant ship before.  She eyed the many rows of oars. It looked sturdy enough, although she reserved the right to doubt.  The crew prepared to set sail and Seira already felt the nauseating sway. The ship appeared clean, but she was wary of touching anything.  She didn’t know what kind of things had been brought on board.

The captain faced Lem and Seira. His muscular arms and bright hazel eyes overcame her.

Oh, but he is a god, she thought.

Seira automatically swayed her hips slightly from side to side to adjust to the ship’s motion. She coyly lowered her head but kept her eyes steadfast on his face.

She innocently asked, “What’s that big pole for, Sir?” 

What am I doing? 

She believed some demon took command of her body. Seira never behaved like an idiot with a man before.

He looked up and answered mechanically, “That is the mast, Miss.” Returning to meet her eyes, he faltered, “It sustains the, ah, sails.” 

She felt his body shudder with a surge of…of…something she wanted to know more about.

“All the arrangements are in order. It would be best to situate yourselves below in the cargo hold so that my men can prepare to set sail.  My men have cordoned off a space for you.  I hope you will find it suitable.  It is the most we can do on such short notice.”  He bowed and turned. A bead of sweat dripped down his face.  He wiped it away and quickly excused himself.

Seira was further instructed by the first mate to remain in her section of the cargo hold and if venturing on deck, Lem should escort her.  Did the captain fear his men’s lustful intentions or did he mistrust his own? 

More importantly, was I flirting? 

It made her lightheaded. 

Lem picked up the bags and moved with purpose to block her view of the captain. Seira and Lem exchanged looks.  Seira read his disapproving expression. He followed her down the stairs.

Seira turned for one last look at her grand Alexandria. The lighthouse stood as a monument to all things great. Searching her feelings for a sign that she’d see this fair city again resulted in nothing.  She walked down the wooden steps, noting the sound of the creaks, and resigning herself to fate.

She settled into her sleeping quarters, if it could have been called that. It was a room no bigger than a water closet. At least there was a portal. She grabbed the bolted latch to undo it, but to no effect. Seira resorted to banging and rattling the latch with such impatience that her hand flew off and smashed against the wall.

“Ouch!  Saturn’s wrath on this accursed thing.”

“Mistress?”  Lem announced himself on the other side of the door.

“Come in and see if you can open the latch, Lem. It’s hot in here and it smells like fish.”

He strode in and happily obliged.  Seira noticed the outline of his body for the first time.  Lem was a distant cousin of her mother and had been her grandfather’s steward and confidant for five years.

“There, Mistress.  I think a spit of breeze might land on your face tonight.”

She laughed. He turned to leave.

“You don’t need to go, do you?  There isn’t anything but time now.  Stay and talk a while.”

She motioned for him to sit on the wooden locker that was nailed to the floor.  It creaked loudly under his weight.

“Lem, you know you can speak freely with me, don’t you?”

He pulled some grapes out of his waist sack and held them up to her as an offering.  She shook her head to decline.

“I speak when I have something to say,” he said, biting into a mound of grapes. 

The fruit squirted out and dribbled across his lip.  He had crooked teeth.  She hadn’t noticed that before.

“Do you agree with Theon’s plan of sending me away?”

Lem tilted his head at her.

“Now, what would you have me say?  Is it of any importance what my thoughts are in the matter of your life, other than that I protect it?” 

It was obvious to Seira that he’d spent too much time with philosophers.

“I’ve spent years around you and yet I don’t know the first thing about you.  Are you married?”  Seira asked, fanning herself with an oriental fan given to her by her mother.

He sighed and bit his lower lip before answering.

“I was. Once. She died of the dysentery five years past.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know. That’s when you came to be with us?”

He nodded in reply. She had to change the subject. That would be the best course.  Seira wiped sweat from her forehead.

“By the stars, it’s so hot in here,” she muttered. She dropped the fan and leaned forward a bit.  “The captain seems a qualified man,” she said, fishing for who knows what.

“I suppose. As sailors go.” He saw her game.

“So,” she said, looking down. Her thin finger traced the edge of the wooden planks tied with rope, acting as a table.  “I think Marina is suited for you.”  She smiled and looked up at him.

He seemed surprised at the turn of discourse. He shrugged and held back a smile.

“She’s a…very…” he began.

“Inviting woman?  Able-bodied servant? Or a very clumsy dancer?” 

He burst into laughter.

“Yes,” he admitted.  “She’s all of those things.”

“Well, good for the two of you.” Seira grabbed his arm and shook it like a dead fish. “She could be your new love.  You’re what, almost two score years?  That’s still young enough to engage in, ah…family matters.”

He nodded and looked away in false modesty.  He filled his mouth with more grapes.

“So, tell me, Lem.  What does it look like?”

“Huh?”

“You know, your manhood,” she said.

He choked.  Seira leaned over and slapped him on the back of the head.

“Are you all right?  Here, take some water,” she handed him a cup and quickly filled it with water, splashing it all over Lem’s lap.

“Maybe I’d better keep watch outside,” he said after cramming the half chewed fruit onto one side of his mouth. He stood abruptly and slammed his head into the overhead beam.  His body crashed down onto the locker.

“Oh, by the stars!” Seira exclaimed, holding in her amusement.

“I think I can see them,” he said as he rubbed his head.

Lem suddenly laughed.  He laughed so hard and loud that Seira could only join the laughter in ignorance.

“What?” she asked.

He kept laughing and chewed to swallow the rest of his mashed grapes.

“What?” she repeated.

He sighed. “Go on.  Ask me plain.  What is it you want to know?”

“I just wanted to know what your penis looked like.”

“HAZAAD!” he said in a reprimanding voice. “What do I say to that?  You go too far.” 

“You don’t have to be put off.  These are scientific inquiries. That’s all, nothing to be ashamed of Lem.  So how does it work?”

“I believe you speak seriously!” He stood again, shocked, and took care to lower his head and step away from the overhead beam.

“Oh, come now.  Let me see it.”

She stood to face him and reached for his tunic.

“No.” He pulled back, incredulous.  “You must be mad with grief to make such an inquiry. What do you take me for?”  he demanded.

“Shh.  Lower your voice, Lem, or the crew might mistake our company.”

Lem glanced toward the door and calmed himself.  He lowered his head and jutted his chin.

“No,” he said like a child.

“Show it to me and we’ll be done with it.”

She was annoyed and slammed her palms onto the table.  It wobbled beneath her weight.  She took in a deep breath. 

“I think the captain might want to show me his,” she said.

Horror washed over his face.

“Now you listen here, witty mongrel.  I understand you better than these lust-filled sailors.  You wouldn’t want to compromise your reputation and be taken for a tease.  I’m here to protect you, not indulge your ridiculous fantasies!”

Seira turned and waved her arm into the sedentary air. 

“You may go, Lem.  I have no further need of you,” she said.

His lips pursed with angry, unsaid words. 

I pushed him too far, she thought.

He would forgive her, though.  He said it himself. She always gets her way.

“I’ll be outside this door, so don’t entertain thoughts of midnight walks,” he said and slammed the rickety piece of wood.