ARC: Cracked (29 page)

I squash it heartlessly. What’s the point in lying? “Yes.”

“At the school, all those kids died for you… you killed them.” She can’t digest it, doesn’t want to believe.

Both sides of my family tree are monstrous, so why do I fight it? We just watched the proof that I will fail. No matter what, or who, is at stake.

I smile and it’s all teeth. “Indirectly, but yes, I suppose you could say so.”

It’s dawning, a dark sun in Jo’s soul. She says the last, the most damning accusation of all, in all our estimations. She meets my eyes for this one, and they beg for the lie.

“Uri died for you.”

My heart is not Uri’s gravestone. I am heartless, entirely made of stone. “Yes.”

She jerks at her chains and screams. Profanity and insanity pour out of her mouth and I ride it like a wave.

“These are your friends, Meda?” My father, enticing again. “Why do you hold back?” The crowd is chanting and screaming again. The sound is sharp, yet rhythmic, almost musical. “End it, Meda. End it and join us. Everything you’ve done is a thing to be celebrated here, not hated.”

Not hated. Freedom from my own self-hatred.

“Just end it, Meda.” He waves at Jo.

End it. The roar of the crowd surges me forward. Jo’s chained, but still she lunges. She’s at the end of her leash, hate streaming off her in waves. I pause, inches away from her snarling face. Her eyes are red from crying. Crying for Uri. Even as I watch, more tears erupt as she shouts horrible things at me.

A surge of Hunger rolls over me, it burns and sears. Dear old Dad is concerned I’m on the fence. He is reminding me that eventually I won’t be able to control it, and I will slaughter them anyway, only this time it would be after hours, maybe days, of agony.

And in exchange for killing them, I will live forever, never face my final reckoning. My past is filled with things I would rather not be held accountable for. Sell my soul, never be Hungry again, never die: the pain will be over. No more self-hate. Even if I wanted to, I can’t help them. I need to look after myself.

Dear Daddy doesn’t need to worry. When have I ever done anything else?

I lean in and drink in the scent of Jo’s soul as she screams and fights and promises to rip my heart out. Her own heart thumps, swollen with sweet soul just begging to be set free and swallowed. I lean in…

But there, on her neck, is another heart. Cracked and made of tin.
Best
, its mate around my own neck.

Friend
.

“I hate you! I HATE YOU!” she screams, spit rains down on my face, a shower of condemnation. I meet her swollen eyes for the last time, her eyelashes little daggers spiky with tears. The truth settles into my chest.

She’s lying. I doubt she knows it, but she is. She isn’t filled with hate. She’s hurt. Hurt at Uri’s loss, hurt at my betrayal. Salty sadness seeps from her eyes. Hate doesn’t make tears, not like these.

And I notice then, that my own eyes are wet. I don’t hate my mom, either. That’s hurt, too. Because I love her, still. And even though Mom hurt me, she loved me, too. I know better than anyone how you can love someone and still hurt them.

“Fine,” Jo screams, my favorite word. “Rip my heart out, you no-good
demon-ass-munching bitch
.”

I laugh, she’s always had a way with words. How could I kill a best friend who makes me laugh at a time like this?

“Demon ass-munching bitch? Really?” I hiss, inches away.

“And what do you think I should call you?” She casts a sneering glare at my necklace. “Friend?”

I grin, all teeth.

“Call me Doctor.”

NINETEEN

Time hangs.

We do nothing but blink at each other as the dust from my bomb settles. The world stands suspended as Jo and I think about life, death and friendship.

No regrets, Uri’s last words. If I kill Jo and Chi, I may live forever and I may never be punished for what I’ve done, but I have no doubt that I will regret it. I’m angry that my mother treated me like a science experiment, but that’s not all I was to her. And Jo and Uri and Chi mean more to me than just the means to an end.

They’re my friends.

Doctor
, I said, but I know Jo knows what I really mean.
Trust me.

Jo told me the day we met that a knife in the chest is something completely different when a doctor’s the one holding it. Because its wielder has good intentions. I now have her life in my hands, and I want her to know I have good intentions. Now. Finally.

But I already stuck a dagger in her heart with my lies. I, of all people, know she doesn’t trust easily. I can see her choices battle it out in her eyes. Trust me or not? Am I her friend with the tin necklace, or am I an irredeemable demon? I don’t blame her for having trouble believing the choice I just made. I’m having trouble believing it myself.

Our faces are frozen in snarls for our audience, but our eyes are pools of confusion.

And hope.

Another wave of Hunger washes like fire through my veins and I know what Dear Daddy is looking for. It’s now or never.

I snarl and rip her chains free of the post. No longer chained, she leaps at me, tackling me to the ground, screaming profanities.

I hope she’s pretending.

I laugh nastily and roll, so I’m on top, and slam her to the ground. She grunts as the wind is knocked out of her. The crowd is on its feet, screaming like South American fans whose team just won the World Cup.

I have my own reason to celebrate. Because, just barely audible over the demons’ cheers, Jo whispers, “Hey, not so hard, asshole.”

I try not to grin as Jo puts her hands on my shoulders and whispers the final words of the spell. The crowd’s cheers start to falter, as they wonder why Jo isn’t fighting back, why there’s no blood. But the spell only takes fifteen seconds, not long enough for them to figure it out.

Then I feel warm, like I’m bathed in sunshine. Magnificent power swells under my skin, a sparkling warm-water wave. More power than when I am surrounded by demons, more beautiful than when I’m filled with a fresh soul. And I know it wants out, that I can’t contain it all. I rise to my feet, pulling Jo with me.

I smile at my father. It’s not a nice smile.

I explode in a blast of light. I see the truth register on his face just as the light swallows him.

I can’t see anything, the light is too bright. Around me, I hear screams of both pain and rage. But the power doesn’t hurt me and, as it fades, I see it doesn’t hurt Jo either. The demons, though – it definitely hurt them. The ones in the front row took the brunt and the seats are filled with charred bodies.

Gee, I sure hope they hadn’t paid extra.

The rest are still alive – hundreds of demons. They scream, no longer in joy and, after a minute of shocked hesitation, they come boiling over their fallen comrades, like a waterfall. Jo shoves me out of the way and makes for Chi, who is struggling against his chains and screaming for us around his gag.

Jo jerks at his chains, but they are made to contain a Templar and she gets nowhere. Nothing can contain me; I pull them apart as if they are made of tinfoil. Chi looks at me like he’s never seen me before, his eyes wide with awe.

“Hey, Chi, sorry about the almost-eating-you thing,” I say, hauling him to his feet.

He pulls off his gag and smiles. “No problem, I never thought you’d do it. You’re a good person, Meda.”

I smile back. He just might be right.

We run towards the tunnel we came through but the demons get there first, teeming over the low wall separating the spectators from the sport. We halt and spin but we’re surrounded, trapped in the middle of the arena. This is the part that sucks about honorable sacrifice – the whole sacrifice part. The demons pace and circle, but none of them wants to be the first to attack. Jo slips her hand into mine and Chi does the same on the other side. They too, hold hands, a Bermuda Triangle in a sea of demons. We need a miracle to escape.

I feel the tension in their hands and I look at them. They’re alight with the fierce energy they shared when we were surrounded at the school. I didn’t get it then, now I do. I share it. We are going to die, but I’m going to get a piece of my own first. For Uri. For all my friends. I’m not saying I want to die. I’m not even saying that I’m ready to – after all, I think I’m just now getting the hang of this whole life thing. I’m just saying… well, Uri said it best. Better to die for something you believe in than to live for nothing at all.

“No regrets,” I say and squeeze their hands.

“No regrets,” Jo replies, returning the squeeze.

“No regrets,” Chi repeats, then there’s a tiny pause. “I always knew I’d die by your side, Jo – I just hoped it’d be in seventy years or so.”

Jo’s hand jerks in mine but she doesn’t say anything. I look at her. Jo is actually rendered speechless.

A miracle, but not exactly the one I’m looking for, God.

“Now, Chi? You tell her this
now
?” I say.

His hand bounces in mine as he shrugs. “We said no regrets.”

We did indeed.

The demons swarm. I’m stronger, faster, than they are, than I have ever felt. The small size of my hands shocks me, because I feel enormous. To my new eyes the demons seem so slow and clumsy, like toddlers. I am Godzilla – I mow them down like daisies in a field, Jo and Chi at my back.

Chi’s not done. He grunts and ducks a demon’s swing. “So Jo, you know I love you, right?”

Jo kicks out with her bad leg, catching a demon on the knee. He loses his balance and his head. “Chi, I…” Jo says and I recognize her “back-off” tone. The only thing more ridiculous than Chi choosing to tell her now, is her bothering to keep up the charade.

“Jo, we’ve got like a minute to live,” I say, exasperated. I duck under a swinging arm and relieve its owner of his intestines. “I think you should tell him.” Yes, I did just give love advice with a fistful of demon guts.

“Fine,” Jo says, even though we are anything but fine. She dodges a demon’s grab and hip-throws him in my direction. I give him a stay-down stomp. She pauses briefly to look at Chi, and I cover her back. She starts to respond when a demon dodges in on her left side. She ducks and rolls him across her back, and ends up shouting, “I love you too, Chi!”

Romantic, very romantic. Just like the movies. But it works for him – Chi grins, then ducks an attack, spins and kicks some guy’s head off. You know, had I imagined a Chi–Jo love declaration, I would have pictured it amid demon decapitations. No sunset picnics for these two.

I’d like to say that we make our way free and despite all odds we manage to escape. But we don’t. More come, unending. Jo starts to flag and I cover for her as they pile in, sensing our weakness. Chi takes a cut on his arm and he screams. My attention wavers and I lose a chunk of thigh. It starts to heal instantly, but it slows me. And still they come, swarming over the low wall from the seating area, flooding in from the hallways. Their screams and sneers turn to delighted laughs and cackles and I know the end is coming. Jo goes under with a scream. I haul her up and a demon jumps on me from behind. I pull his head off over my shoulder but his claws rake my face before he dies. Blood flows into my eyes, blinding me.

A demon tackles me from the side, my half-healed leg can’t hold my weight and I go under. Black-clad bodies pile and writhe over me. I feel pieces of my skin being peeled away. Jo screams profanities and Chi cries out in pain.

I hope I’ll see Uri, and I hope, I hope I’ll see my mom.

As pain overtakes my body and numbs my mind, I strain to hear her voice over the laughs of my murderers. But I don’t.

Instead, I hear the rumble of a hundred motorcycles.

Then I don’t hear anything at all.

TWENTY

I wake up. This in itself is news. On the other hand, I hurt so badly there’s a good chance I’m in Hell. I don’t recognize the ceiling I stare at, but then it’s plain white, so who would? I make the effort to rock my head to the side but only manage a few inches before the pain is so bad I have to stop. I can see a window. It’s sunny outside. That doesn’t seem Hellish. The curtains, on the other hand… the artist in me winces. A mix of good and bad – I must be alive, among the humans. I smile. I black out.

When I wake up again, I know I am going to make it. I feel almost… well not
human
per se, but you see where I’m going. The room is mostly dark, but someone left the bathroom light on as a makeshift night light. I’m in a cheap hotel room – which explains the god-awful curtains – in a queen bed. Pill bottles, syringes, gauze and bandages clutter the nightstand. My arm is in a sling. I pull back the covers with my good arm and find I am naked except for my underwear and a ton of gauze. I’m more mummy than girl.

Water suddenly turns on in the bathroom and I scramble into a sitting position. I’m dizzy, but it doesn’t slow me. I rip the sling from around my neck so my arm is free. My arm doesn’t like it, but I prefer it stays attached and that’s more likely if I can defend myself. I hope I’m with the Crusaders, but with demons you never know.

“Who’s there?” I demand.

“You’re awake?” I hear a female’s voice before I see her. A slender woman comes out of the bathroom. I can see a blonde bob, but not much else, backlit as she is from the light of the bathroom. “Turn on the light,” I say. She’s taken aback by my tone, but flips the light on. She’s in her mid-thirties, pretty, with light blue eyes. “Who are you?” I growl.

She smiles. Apparently in my current state I’m not much to fear. “I’m Caroline Dupaynes – Chi’s sister.” I see the resemblance instantly. I relax, then tense again.

“How is Chi? And Jo?”

“Good, they’re fine. Awake already. The demons focused on you once you went down. Still, it was a near thing.”

She doesn’t need to tell me that. I was there.

“So, what did happen? How did you find us?”

She holds up her hand. “All your questions will be answered, I promise, but Jo threatened to gut me if I don’t get her the instant you are awake.”