ARC: Assassin Queen (24 page)

The road from the forest outskirts descended in a very shallow incline down to the distant line of the deserts. Built for caravans, it enabled six riders to ride abreast, pulling their party into the compact formation. Kara kept her place between Lance and Raishan, glad for once to be able to ride in the lead and be the first to take in the scenery. She dreaded the conversation that awaited them all at their next campsite, but there was no way around it. For now, at least, all she could do was enjoy the view.

The sea of roofs and tents stretching out of sight made her eyes narrow in disbelief. She always considered caravan outposts to be no more than small settlements, housing just enough people to supply travelers on their road. The place up ahead rivaled the trade city of Jaimir in its size and grandeur. She supposed in an odd way this discrepancy actually made perfect sense. Like any other outpost, Gard
’
hal was indeed built to supply travelers; it was just that the amount of travelers it saw on a daily basis far exceeded any normal scale. The kingdom of Shayil Yara supplied many things to the northern lands, all of them brought by caravans across the deserts. Every one of these caravans had to stop here on their way north or south.

In Gard
’
hal, a word loosely translated from the local nomadic language as
“desert spring”
, the majority of the Majat were expected to stay in wait until their embassy to Queen Rajmella
’
s court supplied them with the information about the location of the Kaddim Fortress. Mai was leaving Raishan in charge, taking the rest of the Diamonds along. This included Seldon, but now Kara wasn
’
t sure that was a good idea anymore. Hell, she wasn
’
t even sure where she and Mai stood after she had confronted him so openly. But she didn
’
t regret her decision. Mai generally had a very cool head, but if he lost his temper in a major way he could easily do something he
’
d regret for the rest of his life. She didn
’
t want to stand aside and let this happen, not when she was the only person in their party who could interfere without putting her life and rank in jeopardy.

A group of men greeted them on the Gard
’
hal outskirts, leading them to a large area set with enough tents to accommodate their entire group. Up until now Kara kept thinking of their traveling party as very large, even after the Kingsguards stayed behind with Kyth. Now she realized that by local standards a group of three hundred was hardly enough to surprise anyone at all. Many caravans were larger than that. Perhaps this was one of the reasons Mai chose this place for his base, enabling the Majat to remain as inconspicuous as possible.

Mai made no further mention of the conflict with Seldon, even if the way he avoided the older Diamond was very noticeable. He avoided Kara too, and she felt a pang of pain every time he steered clear of her when overseeing the preparations. She kept trailing him while staying out of sight, looking for an opportunity to speak to him alone. It took a while, before she saw him enter a centrally set tent he had designated for command. Kara approached it and exchanged meaningful glances with the Emeralds on guard, then slid inside.

She stopped near the entrance, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the semidarkness after the sunlight outside, blazing bright even at this late afternoon hour. Mai had his back to the door and he showed no awareness of her as he spoke in turn to several of his men and dismissed them one by one. Only when the last of them left the tent did he turn around slowly to face her.

She kept still for a moment, trying to access his reaction, but saw no indication where she stood with him. The pause stretched, until it became too long for her comfort. She heaved a breath, holding her head higher as she approached him and stopped right in front of him.

“
I came to apologize,
”
she said.
“
I don’
t regret interfering, but I am aware that I
’
ve caused problems by doing it. I
’
m sorry for that.
”

He didn
’
t respond, watching her. A shadow fell on his face and even now, fully adapted to the dim light, she couldn
’
t read his expression at all.

“
You can still punish him as you see fit,
”
she went on after a moment.
“
Feel free to punish me too. I would gladly accept any penance for challenging you openly in front of your men. I just
…
I didn
’
t want you to do anything you
’
d regret.
”

His lips twitched.
“
Did you think I needed your help to keep in control?
”

“No.”

“
Why step in, then?
”

She sighed.
“
Seldon is one of our Guild
’
s seniors. It makes him
…
different from a regular insubordinate warrior.
”

“
No, it doesn
’
t.”

“
He believes it does.
”

Mai heaved a sigh, then turned away abruptly. She waited out another pause, her heart quivering as no response came. She had never seen Mai this way.

“
What did Seldon say to you?
”
she asked.

Mai shrugged, looking at her with hesitation, as if deciding if he should speak. She waited, afraid to move, shivering at the detached expression in his face.

“
He said he won
’
t stand for my decisions,
”
Mai said at length.
“
He said he
’
ll inform the Guild of my incompetence. But the way I reacted had nothing to do with these words, actually. I had far more trouble with his attitude, which could easily cost us our victory when the time comes. One way or another, I must bring him to heel.
”

“
And you felt threatening his life was the best way to go about it?
”

Mai shook his head.
“
I wasn
’
t threatening, not for the purpose of controlling him, at least. I just
…
I came very close to a decision that I could not possibly win this war with him around.
”

“
You could
’
ve sent him back to the Guild.
”

Mai tossed his head.
“He
’
s here by a decree from the Guild
’
s seniors. This means, it
’
s not up to me to exclude him from our party. His death is the only way.
”

“
Would you have done it if I hadn
’
t interfered?
”

Mai hesitated. “
I don’
t know.
”

She dared a step closer, but his guarded look warned her from approaching all the way.

“
For whatever it
’
s worth,
”
she said,
“
I don’
t regret what I did.
”

He peered into her face.
“
Do you think you know better?
”

“
I know how much you hate killing.
”

Mai turned away abruptly, pacing back and forth along the tent. It took him a while to speak again.
“
This campaign has been bloody hard even without Seldon. Dealing with him on top of all else
…”
His voice trailed off into silence.

It’s all my fault. I’m the one who is putting Mai under an unbearable stress on top of the burden he’s already carrying.
Kara knew she would never say this, not now when Mai was already on the brink of losing control. She wanted to step into his arms, to comfort him, but it wasn
’
t time for that. She forcibly kept her place.

“I
’
d like to help,
”
she said.

Mai stopped his pacing.
“
You have already. And, you
’
re right. I didn
’
t really want Seldon
’
s blood on my hands. For a moment there I just felt I had no other choice.
”

She stepped closer.
“
So, you aren
’
t mad at me?
”

He looked surprised.
“
Mad at you?
”

“
For being insubordinate.
”

“You
’
re not formally under my command, are you?
”

She smiled.
“
I guess there are still some advantages to my position.
”

“
Some?
”

“
Many. A lot. Just the fact that I
’
m allowed to kick some sense into you if you behave like a bastard is worth all else.
”

Mai raised his eyebrows.
“
Did I really behave like a bastard?
”

She laughed.
“
No. You would have noticed if I felt I had to kick some sense into you, I promise.
”

Mai grinned. “
Do you really think you can?
”

“
Care to find out, Guildmaster?
”

Mai threw a restrained glance at the tent entrance.
“I
’
d love to. But I don
’
t think my guards would possibly approve.
”

“
Well, then, I
’
ll settle for the next best thing.
”
She reached for him, their embrace fierce, near-violent in its passion. It lasted only moments, but when Kara finally found the strength to draw away from him she felt as if she had just stepped into a better world.

“
I must go,
”
she whispered.
“
Before we
’
re brutally interrupted.
”

Mai
’
s dazed look lingered on her, slowly shifting back to his usual calmness.

“I
’
ll deal with Seldon,
”
he said.
“
No weapons this time, I promise.
”

“
Is he still coming with us to Shayil Yaran court?
”

Mai
’
s nod looked reluctant.
“
I have no bloody choice. If I leave him here with Raishan, he will continue poisoning everyone
’
s minds the entire time. At least by keeping him nearby I can have some control of the situation.
”

She smiled.
“
Well, if you do behave like a bastard when you talk to Seldon just now, make sure to call me back in afterwards to deal with you.
”

“Promise.”

She briefly pulled him into another kiss, then turned and walked out of the tent.

In this campaign, Mai was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. She bitterly wished that he didn
’
t have to handle everything else on top of that, from Seldon
’
s pettiness to her own problem, when each step toward their enemies
’
secret fortress made her more and more vulnerable to the Kaddim
’
s magic. Ayalla
’
s spell was great as a temporary relief, but she knew when they got closer to the enemy stronghold it would stop being effective and all bets would be off.

Whatever the cost, Kara needed to make the most of the time she had.

24

Desert Gear

Mai had chosen a minimal party to travel to the Olivian capital
–
five Diamonds, six Jades, and six of his personal Emerald guards in addition to Egey Bashi and Ellah, whose truthsense was essential in the upcoming negotiations. They spent the night at the Gard
’
hal outpost
’
s camp with the rest of the Majat, setting out early next morning to continue on to Tahr Abad.

Kara had just finished packing up her gear when she heard a commotion at the entrance to the camp. She hurried toward the noise.

A group of men were rushing around a large cart, pulling off packs of what looked like tightly bundled cloth. Further on, two herders were observing the activity, each holding a large metal ring with a dozen leading ropes strung through. Lizardbeasts. Kara looked on, thinking of yesterday
’s conversation.

They didn
’
t look impressive enough to cost this much gold, even if their sleek, muscular lines told Kara that as far as breeding went these beasts were the best. Despite Seldon
’
s rebellion, Kara fully approved of Mai
’
s choice. In the fight they were facing they needed every bit of advantage. They couldn
’
t possibly risk losing a battle because of inferiority of their mounts. The Majat never operated this way, the fact that made her strongly question Seldon
’
s judgment in calling Mai on this decision. Or was the older Diamond scrapping for every opportunity to challenge Mai
’
s authority?

True to their name, the beasts indeed resembled large lizards, four legged and flat footed, with long tails sweeping the ground behind them and chair-like saddles strapped at the bases of their long necks. Their yellow eyes surveyed the activity calmly, scaly skins glistening in the sunlight. Their sheen, ranging from green and purple to charcoal-gray, did look somewhat silky, but not, Kara supposed, to someone who had issues with the whole idea of a lizard-like mount.

Most of the departing party gathered nearby, but there was one person Kara prominently did not see.

“
Where
’s Ellah?
”
she asked a Jade passing nearby.

The man hesitated.
“
I think I saw her at the back of the camp a short time ago. Not sure why. She should be getting ready to leave, shouldn
’
t she?
”

Kara nodded.
“I
’
ll see to it.
”
She turned around and strode to the back of the tent rows.

Ellah was sitting by the wall, staring into the distance. She looked pale, her arms clasped tightly across her stomach as if the girl was fighting a serious bout of nausea.

“
Are you all right?
”
Kara asked.

Ellah raised her face, her lips twitching as if she was having trouble controlling them.

“I
’
m fine,
”
she said after a pause.

“
I don’
t think so. Care to tell me what
’
s the matter?
”

Ellah turned away abruptly. After a long pause, Kara sighed and lowered down to the ground next to her.

The silence seemed to stretch forever, but Kara knew better than to start the conversation. From her experience with trainees at the Guild, as well as her long-term familiarity with Ellah, she knew that whatever troubled the girl could not possibly be dragged out by force. Ellah had to venture the information forth on her own, however long it took.

“I can
’
t do it,
”
Ellah said eventually.

“Can
’
t do what?
”

Ellah’
s lips curved down with disgust.
“I… I
hate
lizardbeasts. To think of touching one, let alone riding them
…”
Her voice trailed into silence.

“
Why?
”

“
They
…
They have scales all over. Like snakes!
”

“
They
’
re nothing like snakes, actually. Their scales are smooth, silky.
”

“
Silky
.”
Ellah spat out the word, as if it had a bad taste.

Kara let out a sigh.
“
You know that in this kingdom you can
’
t travel anywhere by horse.
”

“
I don’
t have to travel, actually.
”
Ellah swallowed.
“You
’
d do just fine without me. I can stay here. Or, go back to the Forestlands. Grandma always told me I would come to trouble if I ever allow anyone to talk me into traveling too far away from my village.
”

“
You know we need you, right? Without your truthsense
…”

Ellah pursed her lips.
“You
’
ll do fine without me. They
’
ll listen to you at the Queen
’
s court. You look like you were born here, don
’
t you see it?
”

Kara held a pause. She did look Olivian, but if anything, it made her mission as a negotiator at the Queen
’
s court harder, not easier. With her looks, everyone would assume she was closely familiar with every local custom. If she messed up the talking, it would seem much worse to the locals than if she was an obvious foreigner. Without the feedback Ellah
’
s gift of truthsense could provide, she would feel like a fish out of the water.

“
Does preventing the end of the world as we know it mean less to you than a trivial thing like riding a lizardbeast for a while?
”
she asked.

Ellah shook her head.
“It
’
s easy for you to say. You were probably never afraid of anything in your entire life.
”

Kara smiled. “
Do you really think so?
”

Ellah lifted her chin, a challenge in her gaze.
“
What were you ever afraid of, then?
”

“Men.”

“
What?
”
Ellah’
s eyes widened.

“
Look,
”
Kara said hurriedly.
“It
’
s not really important. The point is, all of us have some fears. All of us have to make sacrifices to overcome them and go on with our lives.
”

“
Men
?”

Kara glanced away. She supposed now that she started this conversation there was no way back. Yet, even after all this time, she found the subject too difficult to talk about. She paused, trying to find the right words.

“
When we train, the Majat Guild encourages us to take lovers, so that we could explore our bodies in every way we can. To most, especially the male trainees, it comes easily. By their ranking age, in early twenties, they explore all they want and get over it.
”
She paused.
“
They learn to channel it all into fighting. We all do.
”

“
What about you?
”
Ellah asked slowly.

Kara took a deep breath, unwelcome memories flowing over her.

“
I was showing so much promise that the possibility of my Gem ranking was brought up earlier than it normally is. I was fifteen when my trainers first started asking me to explore my sexual side. Sixteen, when they started really pushing me into it…
”
Her voice trailed away.

Ellah watched her wide-eyed.
“
I admit, this seems a bit young. But
…
you knew you were going to do it eventually, anyway. Why did it frighten you so much?
”

Kara looked away.
“
I was one of the few women on the training grounds. Probably the only one most men found attractive. I could see them all looking at me this way since I was twelve. Worse, those not bound by the code of our Guild pretty much assumed I would jump at the possibility. Let
’
s just say, something like this tends to leave a mark.
”

“But…
you did do it in the end, right?
”

“
Yes. When I was nearly eighteen. By that time, my trainers were about to give up. In fact, they
’
d come very close to reaching a decision not to train me for a Gem rank at all.
”

“
Just because of this?
”

Kara shrugged. She might never know for sure how close it came for her. It felt so good, in retrospect, to put it all behind her.

“
It takes a lot of resources from the Guild to train a Gem,
”
she said.
“
Especially in the last years of training. They didn
’
t want to invest into anyone with problems, no matter how much promise I showed.
”

Ellah’
s eyes hovered over her thoughtfully.
“
I heard they now consider you one of their best warriors ever.
”

“
Exactly.
”

“
So, how did you do it?
”
Ellah asked after a pause.

Kara leaned back, forcing her mind back into calmness.
“
Simple, actually. One day, I just asked myself: does my fear of men mean so much to me that I am willing to renounce my lifetime dream because of it?
”

“And?”

“
Once I realized this was my only choice, my fear of men seemed meaningless in comparison to everything else at stake. Putting it behind me took no effort at all.
”

“
Really?
”

“Yes.”

Ellah watched her a moment longer with a mesmerized expression. Then she rose and made her way to the front of the camp.

When Kara followed her, the sight that opened in front of her made her mouth fall open. The merchants had unraveled their bundles of cloth, laying out sets of clothing.

“
What
’
s this?
”
she demanded.

“Desert gear.”
Lance stepped up to her, holding out a headdress fashioned somewhat similarly to the ones the merchants wore. It looked a bit like a helmet made of cloth, with long flaps of fabric extending over the shoulders and back and another one hanging at the side of the face to fit over as a mask, if needed.

“
Are we all going to wear them?
”
The thought trailed off as she realized that the man standing near the lizardbeasts was not a herder as she originally believed.

“
Mai
?
”

He grinned and held his arms out to his sides, giving her a full view.

She had never seen him in anything else but his elegant Majat blacks
–
except, of course, for the times when he wore nothing at all. And now, her mind simply refused to accept the way he looked in the new clothes, no less stunning than he always did, but completely unrecognizable. The yellow-white fabric, draping around loosely to soften the lines of his muscular body, brought out color in his pale skin, making him look darker than he did when accented with the black – and far less threatening, even if every bit as handsome. His eyes shone like pale blue jewels in his laughing face. Seeing him this way made her gape, the blend of the familiar and the foreign in a way that made her see him in a completely new light.

Of course, Mai was always known for his ability to blend in into any surrounding. She had just never seen such a radical change occur so effortlessly before.

“
You and Ellah can change in that tent over there,
” Mai said. “Hurry up.”