Aramus (11 page)

“That’s me.
If the dead could speak, they’d tell you to fear me.”

She shook her head.
“If you’re trying to scare me off, it won’t work. I don’t fear you. I see a man who is angry and hurt at the hand fate dealt him. I think you use violence and outrageous threats as a way of dealing with it.”

“What are you now, my fucking shrink?”

“I’m trying to be your friend.”

“I don’t need your friendship.” What he needed was her naked using her mouth for things other than talking.

“Actually, I think you do. I also think you need to let some of your anger go. What happened to you was horrible. They had no right. No one has the right to take your freedom and choices away. But you can’t blame an entire race for the actions of a few.”

“Why not?”

“That would be like me saying all cyborgs are psychos.”

“Haven’t you read the news? We are,” he said in a mocking tone.

“Stop it. Stop trying to make yourself out to be something worse than you are. I get it. You’re badass. I understand you want to punish someone. To make the pain go away. Well, so do I. I want to kill that prick Dennison who used to slap me around for no reason other than he could. I want to punch the guards who used to bring me food and spill it so they could laugh as I ate it from the dirty floor because I was so damned hungry. It’s normal to want revenge on those who hurt us. What’s not normal is refusing to acknowledge not everyone is like that.”

“
You have the names and faces of the people who wronged you. I don’t.”

“But you know I wasn’t part of it.”

“So you say.”

“Do I look like someone who would hurt you?”

Hadn’t she already by making him question his reason for being? By upsetting his carefully ordered world? “I don’t trust you.” Just like he didn’t trust himself around her.

“
Of course you don’t because you don’t know me. Give me a chance. Let me show you that not all humans are bad.” Their eyes locked. He didn’t move away as she lifted herself on tiptoe, not high enough to reach his lips, so she had to settle for brushing her mouth across his chin.

He shuddered. Tried to hold himself in check
and not give in to her seductive allure. But he couldn’t help but recall the doctor’s orders, orders he’d decided to ignore, orders that plagued him, orders, which as a cyborg, he felt compelled to obey. Or at least that was his excuse when, with a groan, he caught her around the waist and lifted her so their lips could meet.

Once again all rational thought left his mind at their embrace
, all but one.
I need a bed.
Or a room. Somewhere private where he could treat the ailment causing him to malfunction.

How they made it to her
quarters he couldn’t have said. He must have carried her because she clung to him and not once did their lips separate. They stumbled into the small space, the door sliding shut behind them, enclosing them and hiding his shameful desire from the cyborgs aboard.

With deft hands, he stripped her jumpsuit from her, eager to touch the skin he’d watched on camera. He couldn’t wait to explore the curves
that taunted his every waking and sleeping moment. She lay on her bed for him, her eyes half shut with passion, her lips swollen from his kiss, her skin flushed a rosy pink. He stored the image in his databanks, a snapshot of what a woman who truly desired him looked like. He’d never seen anything more beautiful.

But he wasn’t here to admire. He was here to fuck.
And taste. And touch.

It took him but a moment to kick off his boots and shed his clothes, torturous seconds where she watched him, burned him with her ardent gaze.
Never before had he swelled so thick, felt so out of control, so needy…

Pinning her hands over her head, asserting his control of a situation that seemed determined to spiral out of his control, he fell upon her, his lips coasting the velvety smoothness of her skin.
He nibbled on erect nipples, taut buds, which, when tugged, caused her to emit wondrous moans. The thigh he inserted between her legs pressed against her moist core, the heat and wetness of it causing his erection to jerk in anticipation. Having never fucked a human before, and with no past recollection of doing so, he couldn’t believe the difference in texture from the droids he’d previously used. There was no comparison really. The real thing, the pliant flesh, the silky texture, the scent, all combined into a heady mixture that made him forget about control. The only thing he knew, and wanted, was to bury his cock.

Heaving himself over her, he kept her arms
pinned over her head as he thrust into her. She gasped, and her gaze widened.

For a moment, rational
ity peeked its head. “Did I hurt you?”

“No. Just took me by surprise.
You are a tad bit…large.”

He was? He swelled at her words
, and her breathing hitched. “You are small,” he observed. Tight. Perfect.

“
Not too small,” she replied, her lips curling into a sensual smile for him. Her legs wrapped around his waist, drawing him deeper, and it was his turn to make a noise.

By all the nanos in his body, he’d never experienced such erotic decadence as being buried balls deep within her body. No. Wait. He spoke to
o soon. When he began to thrust, the strong suction of her sex, gripping and stroking him as he pushed in and out, that was the height of decadence.

Nirvana
, however, was when her body bucked under him, her channel pulsing in waves, her climax drawing a cry amidst her panting breaths. With an incoherent sound of his own, Aramus joined her, his cock pulsing in time to her flesh-clinging waves, and for a moment, he closed his eyes and almost, almost recalled what it was to feel alive…and human.

Twice more they made love that night, each time a pulse-pounding, skin-heating, erotic encounter to put all of her past lovers to shame. Riley thanked the ounce of courage she’d found to make the first move. She’d gotten rewarded beyond her wildest expectation, which was why the emotional slap the next morning hurt so much.

It started with him dumping her on the floor in a tangle of blankets, her warm spot atop his chest rudely taken away.
Sitting in the mess of sheets, she blinked at him, assuming an accident, only to see him, his face grim and closed off as he sat on the edge of her bed pulling on his trousers then his boots.

Somehow I don’t get the feeling I’m getting an apology.
“Is something wrong?” she ventured as she clasped the sheet to her breasts. Never mind the fact he’d seen and caressed it all, she needed a shield, even a fabric one.

“No.”

“Then why do you seem so angry?”

“This is how I always look.”

No, it wasn’t. She’d seen a softer side to him, felt it and tasted it. “Are you going somewhere? Is the ship all right?”

“There is nothing wrong.”

“Then why are you in such a hurry to leave?” she asked, irritation coloring her tone. He seemed prepared to ignore her as he stood. Like hell. She jumped to her feet and blocked his path to the door.

“I have duties to attend to.”

“When will I see you again?”

And her
e came the second blow. “You won’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“Is your hearing defective? I have a ship to run. I won’t be back.”

Anger—mixed with shame at her stupidity—burned like acid in her stomach.
“You used me.”

“We used each other.”

“So last night meant nothing?”

“We copulated.”

“I thought it was more than that. I thought we connected.”

“We did. My cock fit well in your pussy. But that’s all it was. Sexual relief.”

She hit him, as if her small fist could hurt. “You fucking used me for sex.”

“What else did you expect?”

Something more than his callous disregard. “I expected a little respect.”

“You are a human.”

“Your point being? Despite your attempts to pretend you’re not, half of you is as well. And, even if you weren’t, it’s not too much for me to expect some level of respect or courtesy. We were intimate. I don’t just have sex with anybody.”

“Then that is your problem.
I never made any declarations. I had a need, and you were willing to accommodate.”

She could hardly believe the coldness, the unfeelingness of his answer.
“You asshole.”

“Name calling is uncalled for.”

“Oh, I’d say it’s well deserved, you fucking prick.” She pummeled him, unable to stop, her anger overwhelming even common sense.

It had no effect
; he was done talking. He set her aside, her feeble blows of no account, and left her to her angry sobs of shame as she realized he’d spoken the truth. He didn’t care.

Way to showcase our differences. Maybe he is only a
machine because only something with no feelings could so callously treat what we shared together as nothing.
But she, on the other hand, was all too human, and his rejection hurt.

How could I have been so stupid?

Sure, he’d never claimed he cared for her or made any promises. Still though, she’d asked him to trust her, to let her prove herself. She’d done so in the only way she knew how, by giving herself to him, by showing him pleasure. Apparently he’d not understood the gift she’d given him.  Couldn’t understand because he didn’t remember what it was like to be human.

Riley sighed. Had she really expected to magically cure Aramus of his trust issues with great sex? He’d had years to develop and stew in his anger. How could she so foolishly think one night of pulse
-pounding action would take away all his memories?

Seen from that perspective, it was hard to stay mad at him. She felt sorry instead, sorry that he couldn’t let go of his past and hatred. She’d just have to try harder.

But how, when he claimed he didn’t want to see her again?

We’ll just see about that, Mr. Grumpy, because tenacity should have been my middle name.

*

Aramus had never felt more human and
, at the same time, inhuman, as when he left Riley, her eyes welling with moisture. What else could he do though?

He’d done as the doctor ordered. He’d fucked her. Fucked
Riley just like he’d imagined, and it proved more incredible than even he had hypothesized. So incredible he’d done it several times over the course of the night. Wanted to do it again this morning when he awoke, as a matter of fact. It became an almost imperative need when he’d discovered her splayed across his chest, her cheek against his skin, her head tucked under his chin, her hand over the spot where his organic heart used to reside.

He’d stroked a hand down her back, listening to her breath, so utterly content, and at peace.
Even—gasp—happy, because of a human.

As soon as he’d recalled who she was, what she represented, he’d
experienced a minor meltdown. Not a circuit board blowout or a silicone chip failure, but an emotional one. Utterly unacceptable.

I am a cyborg. I am a machine. I don’t get fucking sappy. I don’t admire sleeping women. I don’t cuddle. And I definitely don’t fucking care!

So why did he feel like such an asshole as he stomped away from Riley? Why did he want to go back and ask her forgiveness? Promise her he’d never hurt her again?

“Aramus, why do you look like someone shoved a—
”

A fist shot sideways shut
Xylo’s fat mouth and started the brawl he needed to expend some pent-up tension. Fifteen minutes of tussling later, with a broken nose—number two hundred and thirty seven by his count—he sat in the medical bay, shoulders slumped as MJ popped the bent appendage back into place.

“Care to explain why you felt a need to pound your head of security’s head off the floor?” M
J asked as he shone a light in his eyes, checking his retinas for damage. Xylo had landed a few solid punches, and Aramus saw the world in triplicate for a few minutes after the fight.

“
This is your fault. I did what you told me. I fucked the human.”

“I take it the experience left you feeling dissatisfied
, hence your anger at a passing shipmate.”

“No. I enjoyed it. All three times.”

“But?” MJ drew out the word, waiting for more.

“But I wanted more.”
Wanted to hear her soft cries of pleasure as he thrust into her and feel her fingers digging into his shoulders, her breath hot against his lips. Closing his eyes and willing the images away didn’t stop them.

“I take it the human couldn’t handle
your ardor given her frail nature and said no when you asked for more sex.”

“Not exactly.”
He had a feeling Riley would have welcomed his touch. Actually, he knew she would have. Or had. After his actions, he doubted she would even want to speak to him. He’d acted like a jerk. She probably hated him now, which was as it should be, so why did the thought fill him with dissatisfaction?

“There is an expression on earth about people who don’t volunteer information to
those trying to help them. It goes, ‘like pulling teeth’. Except, in your case, I am going to start removing body parts if you don’t talk. I can’t help you if I don’t know the problem.”

“Touch any body parts and I’ll remove your arm and beat you with it.”

“I’d like to see you try.” MJ glared.

Aramus
held in a sigh. While MJ was usually benign in nature, truth was their part-time doctor was a trained killer and a big fucking bastard who towered over even Aramus. In a head-to-head match, things could get dicey.

“I’m waiting, soldier. Spill your guts before I rip them out.”

“Fine. You want the sordid details, here they are. I’m turning into a defective shadow of myself. I fucked Riley. I made her scream in pleasure. I shot like a bullet from a gun. Had the time of my fucking life, and then we goddamned fell asleep cuddling. Fucking cuddling!” he yelled. “It’s fucking emasculating. No, worse than that because I did it with a goddamned human. And I want to do it again. With her.” Aramus waited for the derisive sneer, the disdain at his mental failing, the derogatory comments about being a human lover, one of those who slept with the enemy and liked it. It was what he would have done.

MJ did none of those things.
He shrugged. “I don’t see the problem.”

“Did you not hear a fucking word I said?”

“I did. I heard you enjoyed yourself and that you like her.

“I. Don’t. Want. To. Like. Her.” He uttered it through gritted teeth
, every word a lie.

“Well
, apparently you do, else we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I don’t see what the big deal is. So what if she’s human? Half of you is as well.”

“Less than half. And I prefer to pretend it’s not there.”

MJ threw his hands up. “I give up. You are a stubborn prick. No. Worse than a prick, you’re a racist.”

“It’s not racist to hate the people who hurt me.”

“The military and the company did this to you. Not Riley. Not the majority of humans. Just two very specific groups. When are you going to get it through your thick metal head that hating all humans, in the long run, won’t do you any good? Like it or not, we’ll always have to deal with them. We’ll always be connected to them.”

“Not if I kill them all.”

“And now you’re being irrational. Maybe you are defective, because when it comes to logic and blaming the right people, you’re not thinking clearly. Now if you’re done being an asshole, I’ve got better things to do, like trim my toenails.”

“Our nanos control their growth.”

“It’s called an excuse to leave you before your paranoid ramblings send me over the edge and I turn you into scrap metal art.”

MJ stalked off
, and Aramus glared at his retreating back.
Damned human lover. A true cyborg would understand.

A wheezing laugh came from the bed in the corner where Avion propped himself into a sitting position. “Talk about entertainment.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough to know MJ is right. You are an idiot.
”

“Not you too. Of all people, I would have thought you’d take my side
, given your experience at their hands.”

“Certain hands. Not all the humans I came in contact with were out to hurt me. Many even disagreed with my treatment. Not that it did them any good. The sadistic ones were in control
, so I usually never saw the kinder ones again.”

Aramus couldn’t believe what his auditory organs were hearing.
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t hate and resent humans for their treatment?”

“Oh, I hate some of them.
There are quite a few I’d love to get my hands on so I could torture them slowly, listening to them scream as I tear them apart limb from limb. But, unlike you, I’m not so bitter that I can’t realize they are only a few, and, if their actions were known, even humans would shun them and take them to task for their actions.”

“Good for you. I am not so forgiving.”

“Then I feel sorry for you. You can’t live your life hating who you are.”

“
I don’t dislike myself. I hate humans.” It sounded childish even to his ears, but he still stubbornly said it.

“
Where is the logic behind that? Hate those deserving of it. Not those who’ve done you no harm. From the sounds of it, Riley likes you, even if you’re a bigoted idiot.”

His heart sped up at Avion’s suggestion
that Riley liked him. He regulated it back to a normal level. “I don’t care what she thinks. I refuse to like her.”

“Then don’t. She’s probably better off without you anyhow.
Once we get to our home planet, you won’t have to concern yourself with her anymore. Given the shortage of women, I’m sure someone will woo her into becoming his partner.”

Riley with another cyborg?
What? Like fuck! Anger seethed in him at the very thought. Uh-oh. He wasn’t so far gone to not realize what he felt. Jealousy. Just another defect to lay at her feet.
She just keeps bringing out the worst in me, the human I’ve tried to keep locked away. I have to get rid of her.
“She’s not going to our home world.”

“Why not? I thought that was the plan.”

“Not anymore.” Because several things had occurred to him. One, their colony was rather small, which meant he’d run into her—and probably continue to lust after her. Seducing her wasn’t an option; he didn’t want people to know his shameful secret. Two, he didn’t know if he could control himself if he saw her in the arms of another. Just the thought had his blood pressure ignoring his orders to calm the fuck down. And three, he didn’t know what the third fucking reason was, other than he had to get rid of her, and since he couldn’t bloody kill her—even if it was the most efficient course of action—then the only option left was to dump her and the other humans, under the guise, of course, of keeping his brethren safe. To admit he’d gotten rid of them so he wouldn’t have to face a certain female just wasn’t to be borne.