April's Promise (Forever Love Series) (11 page)
Read April's Promise (Forever Love Series) Online
Authors: Karen Rose Smith
"You
want a simple explanation when there isn't one. I divorced your father because
of his affair."
"But
that wasn't the first one. Vanessa and I both knew that. Did you really think
we didn't notice what went on between the two of you?"
Winnifred
still stared out the door without turning to look at April. "How many
affairs do you think he had?"
"Oh,
Mom, I didn't count. But I knew when he bought a new suit and changed his
cologne, and had a certain look in his eye, that something was different. But
if I had to guess, I'd say a half dozen."
Now Winnifred
did turn to look at her. "So you and Vanessa were really that
aware."
"We
were. Why did you just ignore it?"
"There's
something you have to understand about marriage, April. It changes
constantly. One day, you can believe you have a perfect marriage. The next
day, your husband looks at another woman as if he wants to be sleeping with her.
I do believe men think it's all about the excitement in bed, not about living
with someone day to day."
"You
don't think they cross over?" April thought about Vanessa and why she
might have cheated on Gabe. Just why would a woman do that? She suddenly had
another thought. "Did you cheat on Dad?"
Winnifred
instantly shook her head. "No, I don't have it in me. Unfortunately, I'm
a one-man woman. Your father always came back to me, and sometimes it was
better than before he had the latest affair."
"Mother."
"What,
April? I'm just being realistic. We had a good life. I had every material
possession I could want. More importantly, you and Vanessa did, too. A mother
has to think about those things. A mother has to think about what's best for
her children."
"Financial
security is one thing. Emotional security is another. Do you think Vanessa
and I couldn't see that you were unhappy?"
"I
thought I put up a very good front."
"Because
you had lunch with friends at the country club? Because you played golf and
sat around the pool sipping drinks and went to lots of parties? That's not the
same as being happy, and Vanessa and I knew that."
"Well,
I wasn't going to sit around and mope. I wasn't going to try to change
something I couldn't. I wasn't going to date a hundred more men looking for
the right one, knowing there never was going to be one."
"Mother,"
April said again.
"Reality,
April. Do you think there's a Mr. Right for you?"
Gabe
instantly came to mind. "I hope so."
"He'll
only be Mr. Right if you can be Miss Right, and then Mrs. Right. Obviously
your father and I had different values. Did I know that when I married him?
No, I was stupidly naïve. But then I made the best of a bad situation. Isn't
that what life's all about?"
April
suddenly felt weary. She shook her head. "Sometimes I don't know what
life's all about."
If her
sister had remained faithful, would she have been in that accident? If her sister
had been Miss Right, and then Mrs. Right for Gabe, would they have been happy?
Did Gabe still long for Vanessa, or had he realized something had been wrong
with their marriage? Something had to be wrong with the marriage for Vanessa
to stray. Didn't it?
In that
pause, when so many thoughts and questions were clicking through her head, one
question stood out to ask her mother. "So why did you finally divorce
Dad?"
"I
divorced him because he got involved with someone, and I knew the relationship
was more than a fling." Her father had married a year after the divorce,
but that had only lasted about three years.
"You
thought he'd met Miss Right?"
Her
mother shrugged. "With the others, he hadn't been emotionally absent with
me. With the others, I knew the affairs would end. When he got involved with
Lana, he acted different. When I talked to him, he wasn't there. He was
thinking about her. When we went to a cocktail party, I knew he was wishing
she was by his side, not me. It was different, and it was the kind of
different I could no longer handle. He'd already put aside money for your
college fund and Vanessa's. Vanessa was ready to graduate from high school,
and you'd be graduating the following year. The house was paid for. I knew
he'd settle enough money on me so I'd be comfortable the rest of my life if I
invested it wisely, and I knew how because I'd handled a good part of our
finances. The truth was, I had dirt on him. He confided in me about work. I
knew secrets he wouldn't want let out about the inner workings of his law
practice. So I asked him for the divorce and a settlement and told him what
I'd do if he wouldn't give it to me."
April
had never guessed her mother could be so calculating.
Because
of this conversation, all the puzzle pieces fell into place for April. Her
parents' relationship, her parents' marriage had instilled in her a basic lack
of faith in the institution. The idea of marriage was scary to her because
she'd built up a different view than what her parents had. A marriage wasn't
supposed to be full of lies and looking the other way. It was supposed to be
full of love and trust. She'd been confused by the concept, wanting one thing,
seeing another. The idea of loving Gabe and trusting Gabe had just seemed too
foreign, totally out of her realm of understanding or experience.
And now?
Now she felt something with Gabe that was stronger than her doubts. She felt
something with Gabe that led her to think she could be his Miss Right. Unlike
Vanessa, she knew how to make a promise and stay loyal and faithful. Unlike
Vanessa, she believed in vows. Unlike Vanessa, she'd love Gabe forever.
Love
Gabe. Her knees felt weak at the thought. Still, she
did
love him.
Because she did, she wanted to protect him. However, protecting him from the
truth wasn't protection at all.
She
asked her mother. "Are you happy now?"
Winnifred
went to the stove, lifted the lid from pot of simmering chicken, and put it
back on again. "I like to travel, and I can afford to do that a couple of
times a year. And," she paused and cut a sideways glance at April before
she stirred the dumpling mixture in the bowl. "And…I'm seeing someone.
It's early days yet, but my heart does go pitty-pat whenever I'm with
him."
"Pitty-pat?"
April asked with a grin.
"You
know what I mean."
"Are
you going to let me meet him?"
"I
want to give it a little more time, to see if it's going anywhere. Do you know
what I mean?"
She did
know exactly what her mother meant.
Were
she and Gabe going anywhere?
Only
time would tell.
"Come
on," she said, "Let's get these dumplings going or we'll never get
supper out."
Winnifred
suddenly looked April squarely in the eyes. "You like being here with
Gabe and Stephie, don't you?"
She
could only tell her mother the truth. "Yes."
Winnifred
nodded. "I thought so. But be careful, Honey. These are deep waters
you're trying to swim in."
"I
know."
Winnifred
reached out and gave her a hug. "Maybe you'll have better luck than I
did."
But
April wasn't sure luck had anything to do with it at all.
****
Later
that evening, Gabe walked Winnifred to her rental car parked in his driveway.
Never at a loss for something to say, over dinner she'd told him about her life
in Florida...the cruise she was going to take next. He'd made comments at the
appropriate places.
He
opened her car door for her.
She
asked, "How would you feel if I moved back here again?"
Remembering
conversation over dinner, he responded, "You sound like you're happy in
Florida."
"I
am, but— It would be nice to watch Stephie grow up."
Winnifred
had never seemed to like messy babies. Maybe now that Stephie was growing
older, she could relate to her better. She'd certainly seemed to today. She
was an odd mix of both Vanessa and April. Like Vanessa, she was always pristinely
dressed, her hair in place, her nails manicured. She liked nice things and
wasn't ashamed of that fact. However, like April, she had a warmth about her
when she spoke of her friends, when she showed she cared about Stephie by
sending cards and presents, and today, reading to her in front of the fire.
She was a complicated woman, but then, he supposed, what woman wasn't.
He
wasn't sure exactly what to say, so he went with something easy. "If you
moved back here, I think Stephie would appreciate having you here. The more
people in her life who love her, the better."
Winnifred
nodded at that and settled in the car's driver seat. Her hand on the seat belt,
she said, "Clarice and I will be visiting an old friend in Leesburg
tomorrow, but I'll be in touch when I get back." Then she closed the door
and started the car.
He
waited until she'd backed out of the driveway and headed for Clarice Barlow's.
After
Gabe went into the house, he wondered if April was already putting Stephie to
bed. But he found them in the living room, and the tableau made him stop and
just stand there, studying April and Stephie. They were sitting on the floor
in front of the fire. Rather April was sitting. Stephie was laying on the
floor, her head in April's lap. April was brushing her hair and Stephie's eyes
were closed. Neither of them knew he was there, or sensed he was there.
He
didn't make a sound.
He
studied Stephie's little face, then he studied April's profile. Aunt and niece
were very different. They didn't look alike at all. Stephie still didn't
resemble either him or Vanessa, either. He remembered seeing photos in one of
the albums of April and Vanessa when they were kids. Stephie didn't look like
either of them had in those early pictures. Maybe she was just a conglomeration
of them all.
"It
looks as if someone is past ready for pajamas and brushing her teeth," he
said.
April
jumped. His voice had startled her. Apparently she'd been deep in thought as
she brushed his daughter's hair. "She had a full day and no nap. Mother used
to brush my hair and Vanessa's."
"She
didn't leave that to the nanny?"
"No.
She always put us to bed herself, at least as often as she could. Sometimes
she and Dad would go to parties, and then Cora would attend to us. But she
liked reading us stories, too. It brought back memories to see her reading to
Stephie tonight."
It
seemed April was in an introspective and reflective mood. "Do you and
your mother talk about Vanessa?"
"Sometimes
we do. Today we didn't. Why?"
"Winnifred
asked me what I thought about her moving back here. Did she tell you she was
thinking about it?"
"No,
she didn't. Matter of fact, she told me she was seeing someone. If she moved
back here, I wonder what would happen with that."
"Maybe
she's afraid to stay there and find out what could happen." The words
were out of his mouth before he thought better of it. He shouldn't have said
that.
April's
cheeks pinkened. "Maybe that's so."
Five
years ago, Gabe's pride had kept him from asking April to stay. What if he
convinced her staying was better than leaving? What if he let those old
feelings resurface?
"April,
I didn't say that because—" He stopped.
"Because
that's what I did? I wish we could leave the past in the past, don't
you?"
"I
doubt if that's possible."
April
set down the brush, but she tenderly pushed Stephie's hair away from her
forehead.
Before
April could take his daughter into her arms to carry her up to bed, something
made him ask, "Did you know any of Vanessa's colleagues?"
April
blinked at the sudden change of subject. "Her colleagues?" She
frowned, and she bit her lower lip. She only did that when she was nervous.
What would she be nervous about?
But
then she lifted her head and looked at him squarely. "No, I never met any
of Vanessa's colleagues. Why?"
Gabe
shrugged, not wanting his suspicions about not being Stephie's father
tormenting him again. He'd been so overjoyed when Stephie was born that he hadn't
questioned her full-term weight when she was born three weeks early. Now he
seemed to be questioning everything.
He
approached April and Stephie, and sat on the edge of the sofa. "No
reason, really. I was just looking through some old pictures. I realized how
little I knew about Vanessa's work life. How little I knew about so many
things."
"You
can only know if the other person's willing to tell you," April said
softly.
Now
exactly what did that mean?
Gabe wondered. Was she trying to say that
two people in a relationship had to be totally honorable and totally open?
That was asking for the moon.
