April Loves Black Coffee: First Impressions (14 page)

“You think so?” I do my best to hide the slight fascination I reserve for this man.

“I know so,” Sangwoo replies with the same cadence in his voice. He concentrates on the road ahead, but it is easy to see he knows the streets as though he is retrieving a personalized road map in his head. “Your cousin is a very strong character.”

“She is.” I am quick to agree. I begin to play with the strap on my tote bag. It is a nervous habit. “I’m still warming up to Spyder, to be honest.” I feel the need to vent about Spyder’s outlandish behaviors.

“Why?” Sangwoo leaves no room for assumption.

“Because he–” I cut myself off before I allow emotion to determine how
much I want to divulge to Sangwoo. Part of me wants to tell him that Spyder is dragging Lina down with him while the other part of me is still trying to absorb the situation today.

Sangwoo senses my hesitation. “Is it because of his involvement with Mayhem?”

He hits the nail on the head with that one. I feel the avalanche of truth tumbling down. “Look, I’m going to be honest with you. I saw your confrontation with Mayhem.” Here I go.

Sangwoo keeps his eyes on the road. His lips press together in the same tight, fine line manner. His jaw muscles clench together, giving off the impression that he is considering what he is willing to disclose. “Mayhem and I . . . do business together, occasionally. Sometimes we get along, sometimes we don’t. That is just the unruly way it is in our business.”

A chill ripples through the back of my neck at Sangwoo’s disclosure. “Judging from your confrontation, Mayhem hasn’t been very compliant. Is that why you came to Spyder’s house today?” All the questions I want to ask march out of my mouth.

“Something like that,” Sangwoo answers shortly. He pursues the question again. “What happened today between Mayhem and you? Did you tell him you were an associate of mine?”

Shit. Does he think I’m some kind of user?
I fiddle tightly with the strap of my tote bag again. My mind is trying to formulate the best possible answer without giving up all the details, but I realize there is no way I can dance around the truth. I look down at the large gauze around my index finger, and the memory of what happened earlier comes flooding back like a reoccurring nightmare. Contrary to what I know will produce the better outcome, I find myself willing to confess to Sangwoo that I have been putting up a front. The truth involves the fact that I have to come up with thirty thousand dollars in a week. That is not humanly possible at the rate I am going. Besides, I don’t want to tell Sangwoo how stupid I am for agreeing to pay Lina and Spyder’s debt. I am out of my league with Mayhem, but I dug my own grave.

Slowly, I reach inside my tote bag for the necklace. I inadvertently tucked it inside my bag before we left the hospital. In the darkness, I am still able to find its distinctive bearing against my skin.

“You left this at my house last week.” In a smooth motion, I extract the necklace for Sangwoo to see. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just so scared when Danny was hurting my cousin. The look in Mayhem’s eyes scared the living life out of me too. So, I took out this necklace and told them I am associated with you. It gave me credibility and saved us.”

Sangwoo is silent as he listens to me. His eyes do not leave mine to look the necklace. Fortunately, we are at a red light. For some unknown reason, Sangwoo’s quiet demeanor gives me the courage to continue.

“Spyder and Lina borrowed money from Mayhem,” I confess. My voice comes out small and shaken. Even speaking about it takes quite some composure on my part. “They borrowed twenty thousand in the beginning, but apparently Spyder laundered some money out to a rival of Mayhem’s. So now, Mayhem doesn’t just want to add another thousand to the total but also collateral.”

The relief of confessing the truth feels similar to a breath of fresh air.

“And you’re collateral. You associated yourself with me so that you could help Spyder and Lina pay him off.” As though I am an open book and an indefinite easy read, Sangwoo offers the final details. He turns to look at me momentarily.

Anxiously I answer, “Yes.”

Sangwoo faces the road again as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “Let me guess, they pricked your finger to sign a blood contract to pay back the loan.”

I shouldn’t be surprised that Sangwoo knows the details to a dangerous fault. After all, Choi Sangwoo probably handles similar business transactions the same way. What is the difference between one gang and the next anyway? My emotions climb a steep hill, so I bite my bottom lip from replying to Sangwoo’s comment.

“Are you upset?” He senses it in my rigid body language and tense silence.

“No, why would I be?” I lie with a clear intonation.

“You have every right to be upset,” Sangwoo states. He’s poised to let me know. “Your cousin and her boyfriend have you involved with one of the most notorious gangs known for extortion, blackmail, and money laundering.”

I keep my eyes focused on the road, taking note of the fact that Sangwoo is driving through an unknown shortcut that leads to my apartment complex. I didn’t think about asking Sangwoo if he remembered where I lived, but Sangwoo is having no trouble navigating. I focus on the amount of traffic ahead of us.

“I can help you.” Sangwoo’s offer sounds more like a decision.

My eyebrows come together in question. “Thank you, but I didn’t tell you the truth or lied about my association with you so that you can help. I just wanted to confess.” I want to be clear that I am not about to involve him in this mess.

“Well, because you’ve associated yourself with me, I’m involved whether I want to be or not. That is a fact,” Sangwoo states with diction. “You do know that, don’t you?”

I nearly bite my bottom lip off at his stringent point.

My disheartened silence causes Sangwoo to turn his full attention from the road to me. His eyes deepen and the same intensity lashes out. Sangwoo continues to drive with a magic peripheral view. “You remind me a lot of this girl I used to know . . . that same passive-aggressive reaction,” he states passively.

“I know,” I retort too quickly. “You called for her when you were drunk last Saturday.”
For a guy who claims that we’ve never met before, he sure likes to compare me to a girl he once knew.
My intuition has her shady sunglasses on.

Sangwoo’s lips curl into a small, indefinite smile. He faces the road again. Sangwoo’s warning chills my spine. “You know, May, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if you need to ask for help. Thirty thousand and Mayhem’s pride is not going to be easy to pay him back. They don’t call him Mayhem just because the syllables roll down the tongue easily. He is chaos and disorder as well as pandemonium and bedlam. He is also childish when he doesn’t get his way and will be manifest many things that the Bible warns against.”

I sit very still as I listen to Sangwoo’s rendition of Mayhem, including the colorful adjectives that describe the tantalizing gang leader. I am well aware that Sangwoo is trying to reach a point, but the other part of me has trouble with the idiom of the pot calling the kettle black in this situation.

“And what about you? If Mayhem means to destroy, then what is Crist?” I question. Far from trying to be smart with him, I really want to unearth the mysteries of these gang lords.

Sangwoo lets out an amused chuckle at my question. Deep humor cascades the features of his face. At the same moment, the car rounds down the familiar street. Sangwoo’s Mercedes comes to a slow stop in front East Point. He parks the car indiscreetly. 

The leather seat gives in as Sangwoo faces me with undivided attention. In the darkness of the car, with only a dim street lamp as the only source of lighting, Sangwoo’s face is strikingly handsome. The more I look at Sangwoo, the more I am aware that his world and mine will never easily merge.

“I am different than the rest,” Sangwoo states with such confidence that it is difficult to object. “I am not your typical street gangbanger and neither is Mayhem. But what separates me from the rest of my cohort, including Mayhem, is my business strategies are anti-competitive and product driven. We sit on top of the average street gangs, but we are still under the palms of the mafia, the mob, and a private Council. This may be unnecessary information for you, but I highly recommend that you stand behind a wolf to deal with a snake.”

I feel as though my head is spinning from the influx of information. Apparently, I have hit a nerve with Choi Sangwoo and he is doing everything in his verbal power to drive home the situation.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize with dejection. “I didn’t mean to question you like that. Obviously, you’re different than Mayhem. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have helped me today. I just have a lot of preconceived notions about gangs and things like that.”

“I didn’t tell you all that for an apology, May,” Sangwoo repeats the same rebuttal structure I used on him earlier. “And if you stick around long enough, every single myth and stereotype you’ve heard about gangs will be debunked. I’m telling you all that to let you know I can help. You’ve inadvertently involved me now.” Sangwoo has a boyish smile on his face.

I glance down at my finger again. The gauze feels tight around my fingers. I am still holding his necklace in my left palm. Thirty thousand dollars is more than I can ever dream of. I have never imagined such money to fall into my hands much less be faced with the reality of having to pay it forward.

“I’m pretty dumb, huh?” I mumble. “I sign a contract to pay back money I don’t even have. I used your necklace and claimed I’m a Crist member. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Yeah, what the hell were you thinking?
My conscience wakes up from her nap.

“No. You’re not dumb,” Sangwoo answers quietly. “You let your heart decide. It was very brave.”

At his kind words, I want to ask Sangwoo if he is an angel sent from above to alleviate mortal matters of mine.

“Are you always this nice to everyone you meet?” I can’t help the curiosity biting at my tongue.

“No,” Sangwoo answers deliberately. “I’m only nice to you.”

“Why?” My heart picks up a few more beats.

“Because you helped me last Saturday. If you haven’t taken me home, someone could have killed me if they spotted me alone and unconscious.” Sangwoo’s answer is so logical it makes the doubts disseminate. “Mayhem isn’t the only person after me,” he continues.

How can he sound so happy about that?
“So your life is worth thirty thousand dollars?” I break into a small smile, anticipating Sangwoo’s comeback.

“It’s worth more than thirty thousand, but I can spare some for you,” Sangwoo retorts with good humor.

We both laugh at our banter.

At the same moment, the familiar flash of Sangwoo’s cell phone lights up the dark car. Because the phone faces the side pocket of the car, its bright white light causes an eerie shadow. The frustrated look on Sangwoo’s face intensifies when he looks at the screen.

I take it as my cue to leave. I remove my seat belt when Sangwoo places his cell phone back into the car’s side pocket. He chooses to ignore it.

“Here.” I extend my left palm to give his necklace back. “I’m surprised you haven’t realized it’s missing.”

Sangwoo reaches up to his neck, drawing my attention along with it. There is another sliver chain under the collar of his shirt. “I have another one. Keep this one.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Since you’re associated with me, you should.”

I try to suppress how pleased I am at Sangwoo’s gesture.

“I’ll walk you out,” Sangwoo offers with great sincerity.

“It’s ok, you don’t have to. My apartment is on the other side,” I tell him. Again, my voice is above a whisper.
Why is he so forward?

“I don’t mind,” Sangwoo answers with a nonnegotiable tone.

“Ok,” I mumble in response.

We get out of the car from our respective sides. I pull the strap of my tote bag over my right shoulder and walk over to meet Sangwoo at the head of the car. He motions for me to lead the way.

The walkway through East Point is similar to an elaborate labyrinth. Overgrown trees, weeds, and tall grass surround each complex. The only sources of lighting emit from the recessed outdoor lights. Usually, it takes me two minutes to reach my apartment complex from the front gates. Today, however, I decide to take my time because Choi Sangwoo seems content on walking at a snail’s pace. He is busy observing the surrounding area, giving off the impression that he’s fascinated by where I live. I imagine Sangwoo living in a mansion with tall, white gates and his own swimming pool.

“You carried me through all this last Saturday?” Sangwoo asks with surprise. His question dissolves my reverie.

Now I understand why Sangwoo is marveling at the area. I cannot get over how tall he is and how he moves with ease and agility. Even Mayhem, who rivals Sangwoo’s height, possesses the same grace. Where do they breed these gang lords?

“Yes I did,” I answer Sangwoo’s question. I inhale a deep breath of the cool night air. “Amazed?”

“Absolutely,” Sangwoo remarks. “Now that I’m fully conscious, I can appreciate it.”

I laugh at Sangwoo’s comment as I steal a glance at him.