Apples (11 page)

Are youse going to be warm enough? she asked, standing in the doorframe. She had a constant beaming grin like she’d taped her face up, and it set us off. I ran the fuzzy black tail through my fingers, then snorted and said, Yeah it’s not that far. Should be a good laugh walking down.

We’ve got a layer of fur and all that, Debbie added, her always being quick off the draw with corny little gags.

There were purrs and miaows of agreement, then we carried on making ourselves up as Mam headed off. I gassed us all with hairspray then put on the Burberry Brit. I let Claire borrow some Urban Decay – none of us talked to her about the baby; it was hard to tell if she wanted it or not, and we didn’t want to put any kind of downer on Claire’s night. It was worrying to think that in a month or two she wouldn’t be able to go out at all, or come to school, but you couldn’t just say get an abortion because I know from watching TV it’s not as simple as that.

Can you pass us the Bella? Debbie asked me, grabbing for the wine. Her eyes were already a little glazed from the drink and I giggled, staring each other out with our daft kitten faces. Her fake tan was caked on like black-face make-up, and it looked obscure with her hair braided. I took a big gulp, Bellabrusco being the tastiest of all the wines, then pretended to hide it under my tail before passing it over. Debbie sniggered then took a long swig and came out with, You tight pussy.

That put us in stitches and we laughed and cried for about ten hours. I had to hold my sides and a lot of Bella got spat across the carpet and sheets. We calmed down after a bit. I tried to mop up some of the mess with a few Kleenex, but the carpet was dingy anyway and I wasn’t that fussed. It was seven o’clock and we were just about ready. We licked our paws, checked the make-up again, then started to head downstairs. I made sure my bag was full of crap, and we scampered out one by one with our ears pricked up.

Right, see you later Mam, I shouted into the living room. We won’t be too late.

Okay, have a good time lovey, Mam said back, then there was a little confusion with everyone shouting bye-byes at the same time and mewing like knobheads. We chuckled out of the door. It felt weird being out on the spooky streets all of a sudden, dressed as fucking kittens while everyone else went about their business. We padded across tracing-paper frost, all the Crimbo lights illuminating the nutcases like a festive Chamber of Horrors. Some gardens had massive plastic Santas, reindeer and whizzing fairylights, and I loved the over-the-topness of the estate. Christmas would be marvellous. We got a few cat calls as we marched down the rest of Keith Road and crossed to Belle Vue Convenience, but all you could do was fall about laughing because we were in such good spirits. We weren’t dead nervous getting served at Belle Vue any more, but we sent in Debbie and Gracie anyway because they had the large boobs. I followed them in just for the fun of it – we turned a few heads. I made feline moves around the aisles while Grace and Debbie picked up six-packs of Smirnoff Ice and Castaway – a few oldish men were staring over, and a bunch of kids at the sweety section were trying to take the piss but let’s face it they were all wanking their willies over us.

How old are youse? the assistant asked Debbie when they brought the bottles to the counter, but she was smirking at the same time.

Nineteen, she replied, then she pulled a face as if to say: can you believe we’re nineteen and we still dress up like cats. The assistant bagged up the drinks and Deb and Gracie paid with a twenty. We all chipped in except for Claire, who was being a good mummy and not drinking or smoking til the baby popped out. I was actually starting to yearn for a pill and all, but I swear to god if I told one the teachers I loved them I wouldn’t come into school again.

Where are you going tonight? the assistant asked, handing over the change. I straightened my Mickey Mouse ears then came over to the girls and butted in, It’s our work do. Fancy dress and that.

You don’t say, the assistant went, and she laughed as we catwalked out. It was slightly chilly as we stood about and cracked open the drinks on sides of walls – we ended up huddling under the bus shelter while cars beeped past us. The darkness was huge all around, and we got more and more pissed as we shivered and chittered. Rach, Debbie and Gracie squashed up on the red plastic bench, passing round Castaways while Claire began to look bored. I stayed with her and let her slurp some alcopop while the 63 and 27A went past, with a few depressed-looking youngsters sat on the back. I started to imagine us sitting about in Majorca – it would be amazing to get out of the frost, and the streets would be paved with Spanish studs. I didn’t like rubbing it in though, since Jenni and Gracie weren’t joining us and they always seemed to suck a lemon whenever it got mentioned. At the time they said they were too skint to go all the way to the Balearics, but I couldn’t stomach another trip to Blackpool or Scarborough. We often got laid at the seaside, but it just wasn’t the same.

There’d better be a few others in fancy dress, I said, gazing over my bottle at the middle of the road. We got on the next 27, finishing off the Smirnoff Ices as we rattled down Marton Road. The driver thought it was good crack having a bunch of pussycats on his bus on such a miserable night, and he stared down our tops while we paid up some change.

Well I think Tyler’s going as Elvis, Debbie said as me and her perched on the set of eight seats near the back. We bounced around as we set off, trying to check our hair and outfits in the windows which were all bright and reflective. Tyler was this lad from Debbie’s Science class and, although he was quite dashing, I couldn’t really see him as the King. He was skinny, with a skinhead.

Miaow thank you, I giggled as we jumped off the bus a few stops later. It felt weird going back to school in the middle of the night, all the lights still on and the teachers in casual clothes. People like Mr Barley always seemed to go for really twatty jeans and stuff like that. We slipped by without saying hello.

It was stifling when we got in the hall, and suddenly all the boys’ faces caught ours and we went on the prowl. We were all smiley and drunk, and the daft little disco lights were going though there was no one really dancing. Luckily we had enough alcopop inside us to start swishing our tails into the centre of the hall, and we marked our territory. There were a few people dressed as nurses and gangsters and Miss Santa Clauses and a few goths were vampires, but me and the girls looked the business. We danced in a looseish circle, me staring and pretending to flirt with brown Debbie on the opposite side. We threw our handbags down for the sake of it. It was just tacky old pop music and the DJ was only there to gaze at the girls, but we hot-stepped to and fro like something out of
Top Cat
. It was slightly funny and slightly boring – thank god we had drinks. Rach and Debbie smuggled a few Castaways in their bags, and we spent the night popping to the loo and keeping the good times going. Some hip-hop stuff brought a few lads onto the dancefloor but they were all shit dancers, keeping their arms by their sides while they jigged about on the spot. Gaz came up behind me and gave me a manhandle – I pretended to be pleased to see him. He looked extremely wasted – you could tell he was on drugs by the way he wibbled about and stared mad eyes at you. He was sweaty and kept looking round at the cats like he didn’t have a clue what was going on.

Gary my love, I said, getting the giggles. You got any pills or poppers or anything?

Yeah, I’m fucking on one here like, he shouted at me. I followed him to the ladies loo, and we locked ourselves in one of the cubicles, fumbling about. Gary always tended to sort you out for drugs, especially if you were a sumptuous beauty. He pulled out a bag of MedusaHeads and passed us one, rocking and fidgeting in the tight spot. I swallowed it down, then had to hug him because it wasn’t the first time he’d saved my night.

Sure you don’t want any money? I asked, kissing him on the cheek. Obviously I hadn’t come up yet but it was nice to show a bit of gratitude now and then.

Naw, he said. Here get another one down you.

Then Gaz smiled really wonky like some kind of date-raper, popping another Versace on his tongue and he motioned for me to neck it off him. I was game enough – all I was interested in was that super-duper buzz, and it was never the same just doing one. I gave him a big wet snog, lifting the pill off his tongue then getting it down the hatch before he got too aroused. When we parted Gary was smiling his cheeks in half, and we waited together until the coast was clear then shot out of the cubicle. I didn’t want to hang out with him the whole time, but we were laughing as we walked back to the school hall. We were gleeful going past the teachers high on E. Almost as soon as we got back in, I felt a bit of a warm feeling go up my innards and I danced to myself in the primary colours. I left Gaz gazing and leering at other girls, then went to find my own posse. Dan was around, and I pulled up next to him in my kitty-kat gear and purred, Hey there.

Alright, he smiled. All he was dressed up as was someone who wears a Moto shirt and puts gel in their hair. I wrapped my arms round his neck, and I liked it when he grabbed my hips but that’s what boys always tended to do. My pills hadn’t quite kicked in, but he looked gorgeous as ever and I tried to move into him. We danced for a bit, but there was nothing much to say and of all people Rachel came over and knocked around. Dan kept dancing, but he sort of lost interest and went to kiss and cuddle Rach. I could’ve strangled him, and I felt vulnerable on the MedusaHeads and got sad for a good five seconds. But then it was over, and I laughed when I saw Gaz bumping into people and groping one of those ugly Jealous Girls. Dancing alone, I touched the dry ice and I tried to get into the music. I grabbed my yellow bag from the dark lino since the floor was getting crowded now, and I went to boogie with Debbie on the other side. I tugged the back of her tight boob-tube up for her, then we did some funky dance moves together which we’d learnt when we were little. It was a brilliant laugh, and I decided not to tell her I’d done the ecstasy because she might get bitter. We bopped and doo-wopped, and all the dancing was getting me high as a cloud formation. My senses felt all intense and I got prickles from the music, although it was only Tina Turner and things. Taking Debbie’s hand, we flashed nail varnish and headed back to our friends, and I was getting a thrill off everyone’s perfumes like walking through a secret garden. Double-dropping the Es was always a bit wild – I was starting to wobble about and my mouth was getting crusty, but I felt like a princess. I smiled my cottonmouth at everybody, clinging on to Deb and trying to suppress myself from saying I loved her and how top she was. I found Dan again and grabbed the back of his speckledy white shirt, rubbing my tits up against him to some other pop thing. He slanted his head, and I nuzzled into him but all I ended up with was a half-hearted peck on the lips. I felt silly, but being on ecstasy it only lasted a moment and then I was off again. You just cannot give a fuck! I wasn’t even sure why I was so desperate for Dan – he was dead good-looking, and the fact he didn’t smoke was really important to me. I bow-wow-wowed my head, but I didn’t let it get to me. Me and Debbie marched off to the toilet, and all we could do was get pissed and rehydrated while we crammed into one cubicle again. Our tails almost flushed down the toilet, but it felt good to be away from all the chaos. And that’s when the MedusaHeads started to get ever so funny. As I stood there chewing my cheeks to pieces, a vibrant wave of something whooshed over me. The cubicle got suddenly brighter, and my hands and feet went to jelly – I was tripping like hell. At first I panicked, like the pills had been spiked with acid or something more dangerous, but I focused on the happy side and I felt not too bad. The shadows crept, and you got that 3-D effect like being in a pop-up book. My head was bobbing around at the wonder of it all, and I thought sooner or later Debbie was going to clock me being off my head.

You alright? she asked, and I laughed at the brown cat standing there. A ton of wild thoughts were going round my head, and it took loads of effort just to go, Yeah, I feel mint. I wanna find Gary.

We headed out of the cube, and god knows how we made it all the way back to the hall. It was like being in a sixties dolls’ house – all these cats and puppets and people milling around, and the songs felt dead distant like they were coming from a music-box. I tried to look for Gaz – I wanted to know what was up with those Versaces. I was feeling fantastic, but it was all a bit wacky. I wandered around, breathing dead deep and seeing through the dark. I couldn’t find him anywhere, and whenever someone touched me or brushed past I got slightly paranoid like they could tell I was off my box. Eventually I went to stand with the fat cat by the fire exit, which was Claire.

What’s up with you? the cat said.

I’m tripping my tits off. Gaz gave us these pills, I went, getting in a daze again. On acid you really appreciated curtains and wood-finishes, and I stood around staring at everything. It was mad and dreamy, and I felt calmer being with Claire.

Yeah, he said he was having a bad one, she added. I nodded and looked at Claire’s tabby-effect skirt, with the pattern slinking in and out of itself and flowing around. It was sheer pleasure. Standing there I started to feel much better, after all it wasn’t every night you got a feeling like that for free. The world revolved around me, and it was très formidable.

Howay, let’s dance, I said to Claire, and we went off to find the girls. The music was sounding better and better, the cymbals chinking from one ear to the other and the bass like a trampoline. I danced with my arms out, and everything up in the air was a rainbow. It reminded me of the star tent in Year Seven – the first time Dan felt my miaow. This guy came to visit us with a huge tent, and he projected all the stars onto the ceiling so you could see where Ursa Major was and where Orion’s Belt was and everything. It was so romantic Dan couldn’t help slipping me a finger – me and him made sure we laid down together that afternoon. This was before I was even having periods – I was shitting myself that I’d piss myself, but it actually felt alright. We only went out for about a month, and I think the star tent had something to do with the Girls becoming the Jealous Girls. Everyone fancied him in Year Seven. While I danced I could feel myself getting turned on, and I thanked the heavens I was on the trip. Who cares if the teachers knew I was on Class As – I was having a Class A time. My heart-rate was getting up and I could feel the flow of blood but it was glorious. I looked around at everybody and they were all the stars.