Apple's Angst (7 page)

“Sure, not a problem,” said Morgan.

It took everything in Apple's power to try to forget the throbbing pain in her feet. She should have asked Brooklyn for meditating tips. It would have been good to know how to focus on something other than her feet at this moment. Apple needed NOT to focus on her feet right now, or rather the lack of feeling in her feet. She needed to be professional. Or at least fake it. That was what Guy always said—“Fake it until you make it.”

Her mother reached out and gave Apple's hand a squeeze before Morgan led her in one direction while Apple followed Fancy Nancy down a long hallway in the opposite direction.

“Love the boots,” Nancy said to Apple, who was trailing behind. Apple hadn't seen Fancy Nancy look below Apple's face since they were introduced. How did she notice Apple's boots when she was walking
in front
of her? It was almost as if she could smell designer shoes if they were in her presence. It somehow made wearing them—and the pain of wearing them—worth it.

Apple would have to remember to tell Happy that Fancy Nancy had complimented her boots. Happy would love that.

Apple, walking slowly and unsteadily, followed Fancy Nancy to the end of the hall. Fancy Nancy walked fast, as if she were late for an important meeting. Apple was
not sure she would have been able to keep up with Fancy Nancy's energized pace even if she had been wearing flip-flops or was barefoot.

“Have a seat,” Fancy Nancy said when they entered her spacious office, pointing to two black chairs. She sat behind her large oak desk. There was not one stray piece of paper. Apple had never been so relieved to sit down. She could swear she felt wetness on her pinky toe, which could only mean that her feet were blistering and bleeding. Great, thought Apple. How disgusting.

Apple looked out the window behind Fancy Nancy to the stunning view of the mountains. It was so beautiful. She found it depressing that Fancy Nancy's couldn't see the beautiful scenery as she worked. She also wondered how Fancy Nancy remained so pale—almost ghost-like—when 285 days of the year were sunny where they lived. She must pile on the level-50 sunblock every hour. There was something fascinating about seeing someone look so pale and young and yet so stylish at the same time. It was kind of like seeing a vampire. Apple was also amazed to see a treadmill and a spinning bike in her office.

“As you know,” Fancy Nancy started, “we saw you on that very touching show a while back. Ever since, everyone at
Angst
has been pretty obsessed with you. The way you admitted what you had done to your best friend, all for a guy! The way you cried! It was so
deliciously
evil. I mean, of course, we've all
been
there. But it takes a special someone to go on
television
and own up to that. It takes someone with courage. Even I wouldn't have done
that
. You're one brave girl!”

“Thanks,” Apple said. “I think,” she added.

“I don't mean that in a bad way. Truth be told, we also just never knew that Dr. Bee Bee Berg had a daughter who fitted right into our target demographic. And you were so well spoken, so real, that we all think you will fit in quite nicely here. We'd been talking for ages about having a teenage advice columnist, but we had forgotten about it until we saw you on the show and thought, ‘Bingo. That's her!' You have that
real
quality, and if I can be truthful, it doesn't hurt that your mother is so well known. We love celebrities around here. We live, eat, and breathe celebrities and their lifestyles.”

“Thank you, I think,” Apple said again, hating herself for sounding so unsure. All she had said so far was “Thank you. I think.”

Fancy Nancy probably thought she was a moron and was regretting even offering her the gig, Apple thought, her confidence waning. She had the urge to tell her, “It's okay. You can change your mind. You don't have to have me here,” though the thought of breaking that news to Happy and her mother was distressing.

She glanced out the glass door into the hallway. Everyone moved with purpose. Surprisingly, Apple suddenly could imagine working here. As Brooklyn would say, the place had a good vibe. It was electrifying.

“Things are getting very exciting here at
Angst,”
Fancy Nancy continued. “We're branching out, too. We've just got word that we're starting a television show—once a week, but hopefully they'll pick it up at least a couple more days. It will be called
Angst TV
and will be aired on a cable network and as a podcast.”

“Wow. That's great!” Apple said. “I had no idea.”

“You had
no idea
that we were working on
Angst
TV,” pressed Fancy Nancy, with a hint of annoyance. Apple picked up on the change in Fancy Nancy's tone immediately and realized she had misspoken.

“Oh, sure. I mean I've read that it was in the works, but I had no idea that it was actually happening. That's awesome,” Apple said. She was sure her voice sounded meek.

“It
is
great. We've been working on it for a long time. We're hoping the readers who love
Angst
will also watch
Angst TV
and download the podcast from our website. We're going to be bringing the print magazine live on television, with fashion tips from famous designers and interviews with celebrities we feature that week in our magazine. We're also hoping that viewers who happen upon
Angst TV
will start reading the magazine. You must be comfortable on television, since you grew up around it, right, Apple?” Fancy Nancy asked, looking Apple directly in the eyes.

Apple didn't want to disappoint Fancy Nancy and tell her that she rarely even watched her mother's show, except when Happy and Brooklyn forced her to. But Apple was loyal to her mother. She would never admit that she didn't particularly care for the guests on her show, or for the idea of the show, to anyone except her very best friends.

“Of course. I've watched every episode,” Apple found herself saying. “I'm very comfortable in front of a camera. I've grown up in the television world, as you said.”

Apple couldn't believe how easily the lie slid out of her mouth. Why was she lying? She didn't have to lie to Fancy Nancy. She could have told her that she was a complete novice when it came to television, that she had no idea how her mother had done it for so many years or why viewers found the show so appealing.

“That's good. Really good. Because we want you on
Angst TV
. There's something
real
about you,” Fancy Nancy said. “It will be great to get someone who looks
real
on
Angst TV
. Of course, we have a main host. She's television-ready, you know—well spoken and pretty to look at. But you're … well, you're human. And
real.”

Apple was beginning to hate the word “real.” How many times could a person use that word in a sentence? What did “real” mean, anyway? Did that mean Apple wasn't good-looking, didn't look like she belonged on television?

“Now, let's get down to the business at hand. We need a teen advice columnist, and that will be you. And you'll also have a spot on
Angst TV
doing the advice thing for teens. But before you think this is an easy job, it's not. I think your … background, being the daughter of the country's most famous talk-show advice host, right off the bat gives you what people will see as experience. They'll trust you immediately. Which is good. But, Apple, I need to know how committed you are to
Angst,”
Fancy Nancy asked. “Which is why I wanted to meet with you in person.”

Apple suddenly felt she was guilty of something and on trial. She sat up straighter, feeling unprepared. But Apple was going to “fake it until you make it.”

“I wouldn't be here if I wasn't committed. Of course I'm committed,” Apple said, while thinking, My feet! My feet!

“Here at
Angst
we want people to really be part of the family,” Fancy Nancy continued. “How do I say this? We don't want you just to do the advice column and share that advice on television. We want you to be here more than that. We want you to learn all the ropes of this magazine, from answering phones to organizing the fashion closet. We want you to eat, breathe, and live
Angst.”

“Okay,” Apple said slowly.

“We need you here two days a week at the
very
minimum. After school, of course—we want our interns to do well at school. We need you to set a good example. And we hope you'll be here on weekends. Saturdays, Sundays. It takes a lot of work to put out this magazine. And with the new television show, the more help the better. You'll be working with a variety of editors, and basically doing whatever they ask and need you to do. If they need you to photocopy something, you do it. If they need you to take photos of clothes on racks, you do it. If they need you to go out and get them a sandwich, you do it. And, of course, you have to get your advice column in on time and practice for your television spot. Almost everyone here starts from the bottom rung and works their way up. I can't have my other employees thinking that just because you are the ‘daughter of,' you can get away with receiving special treatment, even if you will have such a sought-after job from the start. Everyone around here wants to be on
Angst TV
, but not everyone is going to be. You
are
. They're going to be jealous, so you're going to have to prove yourself more than anyone,” Fancy Nancy said bluntly. “Can you deal with all this?”

Apple looked at Fancy Nancy, wide-eyed.

“O
f
course
I can deal with it. I don't want to be known just as the daughter of someone famous either. I never have,” Apple said, nodding in agreement with Fancy Nancy. “I will prove myself.”

“I'm glad to hear that. And your school schedule will allow you to be here every Tuesday and Thursday for a few hours? Because to launch this show and do your column and help out with other things is going to take up a lot of your time. And I mean a
lot
. You're going to have to be very organized and get your priorities straight. Your social life will suffer,” said Fancy Nancy solemnly, as if she knew what she was talking about. Apple wondered if Fancy Nancy was single. Could someone as accomplished and sexy and fashionable as Fancy Nancy really be single?

“I understand. My grades are great,” Apple said. “Wait … Tuesday? Like, you want me to start
tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow. Will that be a problem?” Fancy Nancy asked. “
Angst TV
launches in one week. We need to get you prepared. We have so much to do before-hand that everyone around here is working 24/7.”

“Of course. I understand. I'll be here,” Apple said. “It's no problem.”

“And weekends? Is that a problem?” Fancy Nancy asked, her eyes piercing.

“No, not at all,” Apple said, though she wasn't as sure about that. Weekends were usually her time to hang out with friends and spend time with Lyon and watch bad movies in her pajamas eating popcorn.

“Good,” Fancy Nancy said curtly. “I can't babysit you either. So I need to know that you are 100 percent committed.”

Was it just Apple, or had Fancy Nancy been a heck of a lot nicer when her mother was around?

“I am. I promise I won't let you down,” Apple said. She wanted this meeting to end sooner rather than later. Apple would have promised Fancy Nancy her firstborn child if she let her out of there. Her feet were now one completely numb, her toes probably maimed for life.

“Perfect. Who knows, maybe there will be two stars in your family. At least that's what we hope! Go out and see Morgan and she'll get you a pass. When you arrive tomorrow, Michael, the head of the interns, will show you where you'll be working and explain in more detail what it is you're expected to do. You'll be sharing the office with another intern named Emme, who is fabulous and ambitious. I'm going to have to end our
meeting now, because Emme is coming in. But it was such a pleasure to meet you and your mother.”

“You too,” Apple said, getting up. Thank God that was over. She could feel the sweat under her armpits. She should have doubled up on the deodorant. Had she even put on deodorant? She couldn't remember. She was leaning toward not.

“And, Apple?” Fancy Nancy said, looking not at her but at something that looked like an invitation.

“Yes?” Apple asked.

“You screw up at
Angst
, and it could be the end of your career in magazines and television forever,” said Fancy Nancy.

“I won't,” Apple gulped. “I promise.”

“Good. Can you find your way out?” Fancy Nancy asked.

“Yes. Thank you. It was nice to meet you,” Apple said.

Her new boss didn't look up as Apple walked herself out.