Apparition (26 page)

I make two photocopies of the article, folding one in half and writing Kip’s name on it. I hand it to the archive supervisor, asking if she would mind passing it to Kip Dyson. He’s only twenty feet away, standing behind a bookcase, hidden from view. I can see the top of his head as it turns my way, but he stays where he is.

I pick up the phone and dial a number with shaky fingers.

“Can I please speak to Mrs. Dee Ross? It … it’s Amelia Mackenzie calling. Thank you.” I wait, with an eye on the digital clock in the corner of my computer screen. Ten minutes go by. Then twelve. I’m thinking I’ll wait three more minutes when someone finally picks up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Mrs. Ross, I didn’t think you’d answer.”

“I didn’t think you’d call.” She does not sound happy. But resigned, maybe.

“Mrs. Ross, I am so sorry to dredge up the painful past like this. I really am. But at least four young men have killed themselves in your father’s barn. One of them was my best friend. And a fifth who tried and failed was my brother Jack. I’m afraid it could happen again, and I want to try to stop it before it does.” I pause, and when she doesn’t say anything or hang up on me, I plunge ahead. “I need to find out why this is happening, and who’s behind it. It could save lives. Does the name James Wallace mean anything to you? Jimmy Wallace?”

There’s a very long pause. I work at being patient.

“Where did you get that name?” she whispers.

“I’m not sure you want to know.” I wait for her to say something, but she doesn’t. “There are five ghosts in the barn. One of them is your brother. I got the name Jimmy from him.”

This time the silence lasts even longer. I wish she would say something. I try again.

“Do you remember a boy named Jimmy Wallace?”

Finally she begins to talk. Her voice is weak and shaking. “He was hired by my father to help out on the farm. Because Willy was going away to war. My father was going to need an extra hand, and he hired Jimmy.”

“Jimmy Wallace?”

“Yes. Jimmy was from out west. He’d been staying with family in Meaford.”

“Can you tell me what you remember about him?”

“Just that he was sick. He wasn’t well. That’s all. He wasn’t right in the head. And … well, he killed himself. When he was only seventeen.”

“He killed himself? In your barn?”

I can hear what sounds like gasping.

“He hanged himself in the barn. From the rafters.” She adds, “Or that’s what I was told. I wasn’t there.”

“Mrs. Ross, I know this isn’t any of my business, but is it possible that Jimmy Wallace was in love with you?”

“He
thought
he was in love with me,” she says, her voice trembling. “But it wasn’t true love. It was more like an obsession. We … we went out a few times. Not real dates, you understand. I was waiting for Philip to come back from the front. That’s all I cared about. I was just trying to be nice to Jimmy, but he took everything so seriously. He misunderstood everything. And he was so … so presumptuous. He started to get angry, to frighten me. But he was more vulnerable than we knew. It was all a big mistake.”

“A mistake?”

“I confided in Willy. He was always so protective of me, and he was angry that Jimmy wouldn’t leave me alone, with him about to go off to the war. He only wanted to teach him a lesson, he said. I regretted it soon enough … I’ve always regretted it. You have no idea.”

“What happened? Did Willy do something to Jimmy?”

“You have to believe me. We didn’t know. Nobody knew. Not until after, when it was too late.”

I hear another shuddering breath. “I told Jimmy I’d meet him one evening in the barn. But it was a trap, and Willy was there instead. He told Jimmy to leave me alone. Said he was going to teach him a lesson. He tied him to one of the posts and left him there overnight. We didn’t realize the harm it would do. A couple of Willy’s friends heard about it and showed up at the barn later in the night to taunt him. Willy didn’t know about that. It pushed Jimmy over the edge. The next morning Willy went in to untie him. I stood by the door,
worried, already regretting it. When Jimmy saw me, he got hysterical. He was all wet with tears and urine, screaming for me to get out.
Get out!
I can still hear it.” There’s a long silence, broken only by the sound of her uneven breath.

“Did Jimmy call you Dot?”

A long pause. “Yes, he did. But why does it matter?”

“Because it’s proof that there’s a connection between him and the others who died in that barn. If he’s the only one who ever called you by that name, that is.”

“He’s the only one.” There’s another pause. “Except once.”

“Who was it, Mrs. Ross?”

“Willy. On the night he died.” Her voice sounds so strained.

“Willy called you Dot?”

“Yes. Yes, Amelia, he did. Now I’ve told you everything.”

“Can I just ask what he said to you when he called you Dot?”

“He said he wanted me to meet him later that night. In the barn. I can’t tell you any more than that.” There’s another long pause, and then she starts to plead with me. “I’ve lived a very long life, Amelia. I was never blessed with children, but my marriage was a blessing. Fifty-five years with my beloved Philip. He was the love of my life. My only love. I’m an old woman now—I’m almost ninety—and I just want to live out my life in peace. Have some compassion, please.”

“I am so sorry, Mrs. Ross. I really am. But I need to ask one last question: Did you meet your brother in the barn that night?”

“No, I didn’t, and I wish I had.” Her voice is breaking. “I’ve never been able to forgive myself for that.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t go on.”

“Was it because he was talking like Jimmy?”

The line goes dead.

A tragedy that happened a long time ago has been repeating itself ever since. But how to stop it? What will it take? I know what I have to do, but I’ve got an hour of daylight, tops, to do it in.

Sneaking out of the house won’t be easy. I check the backyard through my window, and sure enough, Joyce is out there with the horses. With my hand on my bedroom doorknob I try to compose myself, put on a casual face. I’m just going for a walk. I won’t be long. Hopefully, no one will notice.

I open my door and there’s Ethan standing on the landing, staring right at me. Like he was staring at my closed door before I even opened it.

“What’s up, Ethan?” He continues to stare at me. “Played any video games with Jack today? I’m sure he’s got time.” I close my bedroom door behind me and walk by him. “If Joyce asks where I am, I’m going out for a bit,” I say, heading downstairs. He says nothing. Jeez, he’s really clammed up these last few days. Normally he’s like a yappy dog. Maybe he’s finally becoming a teenager or something. About time, I guess.

I grab my coat from the front hall closet and walk past Jack’s bedroom door, which is shut. I give it a tap. “Just heading out for a walk, Jack,” I yell through the closed door. I hear him say okay. “If anyone calls, I’ll be back soon.”

I need to talk to Matthew. But I also want to see if, with Matthew’s help, I can talk to Jimmy Wallace. Find out what it will take to convince him to stop what he’s been doing and go away. I mean, why assume you can’t reason with a ghost? The little bit of experience I’ve had tells me ghosts aren’t any more unreasonable than the rest of us. Just more stuck in their ways. And confused. Maybe Jimmy needs to have a few things clarified. Like the fact that a lot of years
have passed since he died, and even though his life was horrible, he should really move on. Matthew says he can protect me. I’m counting on that.

Ten minutes later I’m approaching the crest of the hill, and I’m getting that familiar stomach ache. As much as I’ve come to hate the sight of it, the Telford barn is Matthew’s home now. I don’t know if he could exist outside of it. It may be the only life he has left in this world. If I don’t watch out for him, who will?

In the barn everything is just as we left it, right down to the overturned wooden crate and the rope lying in a heap. I stand just inside the door and try to read the atmosphere. It’s impossible, because I’ve brought so much tension along with me. I can’t tell what’s me and what’s the barn. I stand perfectly still for, like, five minutes, trying to calm myself enough to sense something.

Finally, when I’m sure I’m not hearing or feeling anything, I take a few more steps inside and whisper Matthew’s name. I stop again and listen. There are footsteps coming up behind me and I spin around. He’s standing right there, where I just walked. As my eyes get more accustomed to the dim light, I can see his worried expression. For a change, he’s the first to speak.

“Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“Me? Yes, I’m okay. My friend Kip, I think he’s the one who’s felt better.”

Matthew doesn’t say anything to that. He takes a slow step closer. “I did my best.”

“Matthew, remember you said you could protect me?”

“You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“No, I guess not. I’m just saying that I’d like to count on you to protect me again.”

“Of course. Forever. I’ve got no other plans.”

“Well, let’s take it a day at a time. Right now, I’ve come here to talk to Jimmy Wallace.” I look around as I say the name, and then I say it louder, my voice filling the rafters. “Jimmy Wallace. That’s his name. The boy who’s responsible for all the bad stuff that’s happened in this barn for decades. Four of his victims are in this barn. Am I right? The ghosts of four guys who killed themselves in horrible ways because they were possessed by Jimmy at the time. Where is he, Matthew? I want to talk to him.”

I’m hyper-alert, bracing myself for anything. Oh my God, my legs feel weak!

“I haven’t seen him lately,” Matthew says simply.

“What?” I’m stumped. “Okay, fine. I’ll just hang out with you for a while and see if he shows himself.”

“Sure. Okay.” Matthew perks up. “Make yourself comfortable. Pull yourself up here and relax.” He gestures to the platform running along the side of the wall like it’s his bachelor pad.

I take a look at it and shrug. Why not? I grab the wooden crate I used to help Kip when he was being strangled, and as I do, a flashback of cold fear hits me. I have to remind myself that Kip is all right. I pull the crate over to the side, get up on it and hoist myself onto the platform. It’s made of boards covered in a thin layer of old straw. I crawl toward the back and lean along the wall, like I’ve seen Matthew do. He leans against the edge of the platform, his elbows on it, chin resting on his hands, facing me. He’s smiling.

“I’ve been thinking,” he says.

“Really? What about?”

“You know how everything happens for a reason?”

“Uh, not really.” Wow, déjà vu. I feel for a second like I’m back in the library or the cafeteria, about to have a philosophical argument with him. It’s a warm memory.

“You know how there’s always a larger plan, even though we don’t always know what that plan is?”

“Matthew, I feel like we’ve covered this ground before, and we didn’t exactly come to an agreement last time. What’s your point?”

“I’ve become a ghost, and you can see ghosts. Don’t you think there’s a larger reason for that?”

“Are you saying you became a ghost so I could see you? Or I can see ghosts so you could become one? Or what? Because I still think we were better off before.”

“I’m saying it’s destiny. We belong together.”

It’s kind of ironic, listening to him describe exactly what I felt before he died: that we belonged together. But I realize that something’s changed, and it’s not just him. I think maybe I’ve changed too.

“Matthew, where is Jimmy? Can’t you look around for him or something? I don’t have much time today.”

“I don’t know where he is. He’s not here.”

“What do you mean, he’s not here? He’s not in the barn?”

“He’s not in the barn. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Well, where did he go? Did he just walk out?”

“I don’t know.” He sounds a little exasperated. “Amelia, do you love me? Do you still love me?”

“Of course I do, Matthew. What do you think?” He’s looking at me so intently that it’s hard to meet his eyes. “But seriously, what’s happened to Jimmy? Has he ever just left the barn before? How come he can come and go, and you can’t?”

“Because I love you, Amelia. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Now I’m the one feeling exasperated. “Matthew, I’m sorry but I can’t talk about this with you now. I need to find Jimmy. It’s important. You have to tell me where he’s gone.”

Matthew shrugs. “I’m not sure,” he says.

This is ruining my big plan, and I feel deflated. I’d had to screw up so much courage to walk back into this barn. I’m exhausted, and I find myself starting to let go. I shut my eyes for a moment. When I open them, Matthew is up on the platform with me, only a few feet away, leaning back against the wall and watching me.

“Is it that guy? The one who got strung up? Your new friend?”

“What? What about him?”

“Is he the one you’re thinking about?”

“Kip?” I hear myself sigh. Do I think about Kip? Yes, too much. “I don’t know. I don’t know, Matthew.” I feel so tired all of a sudden. “But no. I wasn’t thinking about Kip just now. You are my best friend in the world.”