Anywhere With You (17 page)

Amelie

Promise you’ll keep in touch…

To: Jack Harrison

From: Amelie Rose

Subject: Congratulations!

Dear Jack,

It was so great to hear your voice this morning. Your phone call came so out of the blue it caught me a bit off-guard. Speaking of blue… Wow, a boy. I just can’t imagine! I’m SO happy for you, and I cannot wait to meet the little fella.

Also, I still can’t believe that you’re opening up a camp for grieving children. Hearing the details really made it come to life for me. I think what you’re doing is beyond amazing, Jack. And you are right—never in a million years could I have imagined that would be something you’d do. But I’m so impressed that you are. It’s a very noble thing to leave your mark on the world in that way. I mean, it’s a legacy you’re building more so than a camp. Just think about how many people’s lives you’ll touch…

I often think about what I’ll leave behind. I’d like to believe there’s something, some part of me in the photos I take, but I don’t know… I’d be lying if I didn’t ask myself whether or not that’s enough—particularly in my weaker moments.

That said, all is going well here in Australia. Our summer in the U.S. is their winter so it’s colder than all get out here. The cold and dreary days make me question whether or not coming here was the right thing to do. Sometimes, I just miss home so much, you know? It’s almost like the bleakness, the grayness of each winter day is there to remind me of how I feel.

My new therapist here assures me there’s an adjustment period and while I understand that she’s right, it doesn’t necessarily make it any easier. To make matters worse, I don’t know another soul in this country, other than the few people I’ve met in the office. People, I might add, in which I seem to have absolutely nothing in common with.

Anyway, I know it will get better. Until that time, I plan to throw myself into my work.

Lastly, promise me you’ll keep in touch. I hope you’ll let me do a feature on the camp once you’re open for business. Also, I’d love to pitch the idea for an article and provide the photos for the feature. It would be a great excuse to come and see the baby.

Amelie

To: Amelie Rose

From: Jack Harrison

Subject: RE: Congratulations!

Dear Amelie,

Thank you. Yes, I’m quite excited to have a son. And I will say that knowing he’s coming has, in some ways lessened the grief I feel about my father’s death. Not completely, but it does give me hope for the future in a way that I didn’t know before.

I’m very sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time. But I know you, and I know you’ll rally rather quickly. You always have.

Also, I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I thought I’d share one of my mother’s letters. Perhaps there’s some wisdom that will provide a bit of perspective… so I’ve scanned and attached it.

Must run for now. I have to get Molly off to ballet. Ballet. Ha! There’s something I bet you’d never thought you’d hear me say. :)

Love,

Jack

———————————

Dear Jack,

This afternoon I watched your father teach you to ride a bicycle sans training wheels. As I studied the two of you together, it took all I had to bite my tongue and let you be. You’re so alike, the two of you, in many ways. And yet, in others, you’re completely different. I watched your little face, defeated and ready to give up, and I watched as your dad pushed and pushed you, refusing to let you give up.

There were so many times between attempt number one and number nineteen that I wanted to step in and save you. I wanted to tell you that it was ok—and I wanted to tell your father that you had plenty of time to learn to ride a bike and to ease up. But then there was the part of me that knew I wouldn’t be around to see you grow up, and that there will be so many occasions much like this one in which I will not be there to step in. And that part of me realized I had to learn to let the two of you work it out. I had to let you find your own voice—just the same as I’d had to learn to drown mine out.

By attempt number eighteen—I know this because your father counted—you had two skinned knees, a bruised elbow, and one deflated ego. And I could see it on your face—you were seconds away from giving up. Only your father assured you that with a few more tries, you would get it. He drilled it into you that if you quit now, you’d let the pavement win—that every other try would have been for nothing. Then I watched as your face twisted and your expression turned from mere frustration to full out determination, and sure enough, the very next try, you got it. You peddled faster and harder and you stayed upright. But the best part wasn’t seeing you ride a bike. The best part was seeing your shoulder’s rise, you stand a little taller, and nothing but pure satisfaction playing across your face.

Later, as I helped you clean up your battle wounds, I told you how proud I was of you, and I asked you how it felt to be able to ride a bike. Your answer was pure gold. “Not as good as proving to Daddy that I could do it.” I then told you, “No, son, the important part was proving to yourself you could do it.”

You smiled at me then and wrapped your arms around my neck. I hugged you tightly and whispered in your ear, “You’re not a quitter, Jack. And that is usually the difference between failing and succeeding.”

Never forget that son—whether you get something in the first round or on the nineteenth. Sometimes you will come out battered and bruised and worse for the wear. But, ultimately, it’s the fact that you were willing to try again that made all the difference.

Love you always,

Mom

Jack

Read between the lines.

One year later. And then some.

To: Amelie Rose

From: Jack Harrison

Subject: You nailed it.

Dear Amelie,

I just want to thank you once again for coming out last month. I saw the feature on Camp Legacy this morning, and you did a great job of encompassing the overall mission. I truly can’t thank you enough.

I’m so glad that you got the chance to come and meet Max. I tell you what—the little guy’s still giving me a run for my money. This whole zero sleep thing is rough. But like most parents say, completely worth it. Or at least they assure me it will be one day. :)

Molly seems to be adjusting well to being a big sister—though I do wish I had more time to spend with her. With the new baby and the grand opening, well, I’m not sure who let me believe that having/doing it all was a good idea, but let’s just say that my hands are tied. She does, however, love the Polaroid camera you gifted her and has taken some of the sweetest photos I’ve seen. Aside from yours, of course. :)

It was also good to meet what’s-his-name number two. I have to begrudgingly admit that I kind of like this one. Well, at least you could do worse, anyway.

Mostly, though, it was just good to see you happy. And much to my dismay, I’m almost certain I detected the slightest hint of an Australian accent in your voice.

Still, don’t ever forget where home is.

Love,

Jack

To: Jack Harrison

From: Amelie Rose

Subject: On nailing it…

Dear Jack,

I meant every single word I wrote. I’m still just so in awe of what you’ve created there with the camp. I remember when we first visited the area. I recall feeling its magic then—but now I don’t know…it just seems magnified somehow. It’s so beautiful. I just hope I did it justice.

Max is just the cutest and Molly was darling. Jane was nice, too.

As for what’s-his-name number two, well, he barely made it as far as the flight home before I’d had my fill. I can’t put my finger on it, but there was something missing. Not to mention there was the fact that he bored me to tears. Of course, you liked him, though. Of course, you did. ;)

I’m going to be crazy busy over the next few months with work. I have a few exhibits coming up here, and I’m so excited to get back to the art of showing my work—outside of the magazine.

Also, I have a bit of other news… some of my poetry is being published along with my photos. Nothing major, but it’s been kind of a nice side project.

Well, it’s late here, and I’d better hit the hay. Do give baby Max a kiss for me and tell him to let his Papa get some sleep.

Amelie

To: Amelie Rose

From: Jack Harrison

Subject: Hello?

Dear Amelie,

Well, I guess you have officially gotten too famous for us little guys.

Where are you? How are you?

I miss you, and I’ve been dying to get my hands on your book—although I can’t seem to find it anywhere. I could’ve sworn you mentioned that it was out last month…

I even told the kids about it and they were excited. But seeing that you haven’t written me back, I still don’t have it in my hands and thus you’ve created two very unhappy children.

You should be ashamed. With your big head and your fancy friends and all. Hope you haven’t forgotten about those of us who knew you when…

Call me sometime. Hell, at this point, I’d even settle for an email. Maybe even a text.

I miss you.

Love,

Jack

P.S. Max says thank you for his birthday gift. He also wants you to know that being two is really hard. Especially for his Papa.

To: Jack Harrison

From: Amelie Rose

Subject: RE: Hello?

Dear Jack,

I’m so sorry to have left you hanging. Don’t worry about the book. It’s probably not something you would like, anyway. But since you told the kids, I’ll have my assistant send you a copy. :)

How is Max already two? I just can’t believe it. My gosh, time flies.

How is Molly? The photos you sent are amazing. She really does have talent, Jack.

And Jane? Is the postpartum stuff easing up? I mean surely, it’s been two years. I know it’s not my place but have you considered having her see someone? I say this not to interfere—it’s just that it has helped me ineffably.

So much so, I’m happy to report that I’ve met someone important.

I’m in love, Jack. :) And he’s just the most amazing guy.

I’m hoping to come over at Christmas to spend some time with my mom. She wants to meet him. I also hope that maybe we can swing by the camp while we’re there. I’d love to see your little family.

Amelie

To: Amelie Rose

From: Jack Harrison

Subject: Thank God. You’re alive.

Dear Amelie,

I still haven’t received your book… but I know you’re busy, so I went online and ordered it to be shipped from Australia—given that it isn’t available here in the U.S.

The kids are good. I’m well. And as for Jane, she’s still, just Jane. It’s been tough on her since Max’s birth. But, then again, it’s hard to say. Because the truth is, we hardly knew each other when she got pregnant. She’s just so quiet all of the time. Sometimes, I swear she goes days without speaking. I don’t know quite what to make of it, but some of my married friends tell me this is pretty normal. She’s a great mother, though—even as quiet and checked out as she is, I know she really loves her kids. And to be honest, what more could a guy ask for?

I’m glad to hear you’ve met someone.

I can’t wait to meet him.

I miss you.

Love,

Jack