Anywhere (17 page)

It felt like Asher. Beautiful and perfect…and only mine for a very short time. But for that brief span of time that I had him, I had to appreciate all of his beauty.

I ducked my head to smell it, then intertwined my fingers with his.

And I’m pretty sure it was at that moment that the little SOLD sign popped up on my heart and lodged itself in deep.

twenty

A
fter a few days in Munich, I was ready to move on. There was so much I wanted to see in Germany, and narrowing it down in order to get back for Paige’s wedding was not easy. But we decided on Rothenburg, about three hours north.

Traveling by train totally rocked, which kind of surprised me. You know, I thought it was going to be this giant pain in the ass to find the train stations, figure out which train to get on and where to get off (because it was always in a foreign-to-me language that had all sorts of different words for everything), and be limited by where the trains went, but I was wrong.

There was something incredibly soothing about riding on a train—the sounds it made, the movements. It was so much better than going by car. Besides nothing was in my control—when the train left, what time it got in, how fast it went, where we stopped. There were no decisions to be made, and I kind of liked that. For the ride, I got to just BE.

The more time I spent here, the more time I wanted to spend here.

So, Rothenburg is this walled-in medieval town in the heart of Germany. Narrow cobblestone streets wind through town, under arches, through gates, into the town square. Walking around there, even amidst all the tourists, was like walking back in time. Not as ancient as Rome, but equally compelling—showcasing the best and worst of medieval times. The worst being the Medieval Crime Museum. You know all those old torture devices you see in movies? Spiked chairs, thumb screws, metal boots which crushed bones and muscles when they were hammered—are you shuddering yet, because I was—iron cages…okay I’ll stop because, really, the stuff was shiver-inducing thanks to the graphic descriptions. And it was
all real.
Had all been used to torture people—both the guilty and the innocent. It was nightmarish and creeptastic all at the same time.

We spent the afternoon exploring the city. We walked along the outer wall, up rickety-looking steps and along a narrow wooden floor high above the ground—good thing I wasn’t afraid of heights…much—and climbed to the top of the town hall tower for the view from above.

I totally fell in love with it.

But I was getting tired of crowds. Maybe Asher was too, or maybe he’d just started reading me well because as we sat on the steps of the church and I looked despondently at all the people around us, he bumped me with his shoulder.

“Side trip?” he said.

“YES. Somewhere quiet. On a coast. I need water.” I looked at him, a couple days’ worth of stubble on his face, and paused. Dammit. I had to stop noticing how beautiful he was. “Are there any quiet places on a coast?”

“Of course there are. We just need to find them. First thing, though. Let’s go see if there’s a train out of here tonight. We need to get to a bigger city for more traveling options, and hopefully we’ll find a night train to wherever we decide to go.”

That was exactly what I needed to hear, and it felt good to have him figuring this out for us. Kind of like the train—I could just be and go with it. Which was perfect. I liked the give-and-take Asher and I had fallen into. I know he’d said that we’d go where I wanted to go since I was limited on time, but I didn’t want to be the one making
all
the decisions, just like I didn’t want him to do it. We had a partnership, I realized. And that made me smile.

“What’s that smile for?” he said.

“I’m just glad to be with you.” It was so much more than that, but it’s not like I could say it.

“The feeling is entirely mutual.” He shook his head. “And to think I almost missed out on you—that I almost didn’t come on this trip.”

“Really? What was the deciding factor?” I was so hoping it wasn’t Tamara because that would have made me feel awful. And maybe just a little bit jealous. Or maybe a lot.

“Josh. He would have been pretty pissed if I’d given up this experience because he was gone.” He stared off across the square, and I could tell his mind was not in the here-and-now. “Josh would have come—if the situation were reversed, he still would have come. He was a real
carpe diem
sort of guy. I had to come if only to honor that part of him.” He stood up then and offered his hand. I let him pull me up and we walked to the train station.

But at our transfer station, about fifteen minutes down the line, we discovered that the train that would take us to Stuttgart had been shut down for the night for repairs. And the town was too small to have a hostel or hotel of any sort.

“I guess we’ll sleep in the train station,” Asher said. “It’s part of the adventure, right?”

“I guess.” I looked around the station. At least it was clean and seemed safe in this little town. And I felt safe with Asher.

But the man at the ticket booth told us about a bonfire the town was having that night to celebrate the anniversary of its founding. There would be lots of food and dancing, he said, and insisted we go since we were stuck there.

After getting directions to a field outside of town, I got cleaned up as best I could in the bathroom and changed into my jeans. As we walked through town we saw people on the streets all heading in the same direction, calling out greetings to each other, carrying bags, bowls, and platters of food. I slipped my hand into Asher’s and he smiled at me.

At the edge of town a huge bonfire was already blazing in the middle of a huge mowed area in a field of tall grasses. There were picnic tables laden with food and beer, and already lots of people gathered. We could see the weaving path of people making their way there and followed. The townspeople were unbelievably friendly and welcoming, offering drink and possibly the best food we’d had yet. There was nothing like home-cooked food, I realized, as I sank my fork into butter drenched noodles.

We ate and drank, watched people laugh and dance around the flames of the fire. After several hours, our bellies full and our faces tired from smiling so much, we wandered far away from the fire and into the field. The grass was long but soft, and we lay down to stare up at the clear night sky.

Stars shone down on us—the same stars I’d seen from the other side of the ocean, but they seemed different here. Everything felt different here.
I
felt different here. I only hoped I could keep that feeling when I went home.

Oh god, I did not want to think about going home. Not tonight. Not until I was actually on the plane. I pushed the thoughts away.

“Hey,” Asher said from beside me. He held out an arm and I scooched over to lay my head on his shoulder. “What’s with the scowl?”

“Just banishing Unwanted Thoughts.”

“Home?” he said, and I nodded. “Well, I know an excellent way to clear your mind.” He looked at my lips then back at my eyes. “Wanna see if it works for you?”

So
not a good idea. And, oh yeah, I wanted to.

I smiled and watched as his lips slowly lowered until they hovered over mine. His warm breath on my lips, his face almost touching mine, sent my pulse racing.

“So…do you?” he whispered and his lips just barely grazed mine. I lifted up to catch the kiss, but he leaned back, still barely out of reach. He laughed low, and I could feel the vibration echo through my chest. “No cheating,” he said. Then he gazed into my eyes. “Say it.”

“Yes.” I breathed the word out, my body aching for his touch.

“Yes, what?”

“I want…”

“What do you want?” He was breathing heavier too and his pupils were huge, almost eclipsing the grey-blue of his eyes.

What did I want?

It was such a simple question. I knew what I wanted—
I was looking right at it
. But I couldn’t have him. I shouldn’t. It wasn’t fair to him and it was only going to break my heart in the end if I took this any further.

But then…

My heart was going to break either way. It didn’t matter any longer. I was wholeheartedly, one-hundred-percent attached. Not sleeping with him hadn’t prevented it from happening. And we were both technically single.

Which meant that there was actually
no good reason
to hold back anymore.

Oh. My. God.

And now I couldn’t breathe because I wanted him so badly and was actually going to have him. Just the thought of it sent a pulsing ache of anticipation throughout my body.

“You,” I said. “I want you, Asher.” And I put my hands on either side of his face and crushed my mouth to his, rolling him over so I was straddling him. His hands slid up my shirt as I claimed his lips, felt his tongue on my teeth. I left his mouth and kissed along his jaw to his ear.

“All of you,” I whispered, and started to slide the zipper down on his hoodie. He gasped and looked at me wide-eyed.

“That’s not what I meant, Skye. Really.”

“I know.” I took hold of the front of his sweatshirt and pulled him toward me. He sat up so I could remove it. Then I grasped the edge of his t-shirt and pulled it up over his head. I kissed him again, sitting there in his lap, his hands exploring my back, squeezing my hips and sliding down my thighs. His skin was so warm and smooth, the muscles twitching beneath my touch. I liked that.

Asher pulled my shirt up and off and tossed it on top of his, then he ran his hands lightly over my skin, giving me goosebumps.

“Are you cold?” he said, and reached for my shirt again.

“No,” I said, and stilled his hand, guided it back to my chest. “I’m not cold. Not with you.” His hand was on my heart, feeling it pound against my breast.

“Oh, Skye,” he said, as I reached behind to unhook my bra. When it released, he slid it off my shoulders, then cupped each breast in his hands, teasing my nipples with his thumbs. A throb pulsed hard between my legs and I tilted my hips forward to feel his hardness press against it. He moaned, claimed my mouth with his, tilting me backwards until I was laying underneath him, my legs still wrapped around his waist.

He kissed me until I couldn’t form a complete sentence, and then let go. “Are you sure about this?” he said, breathless.

“Five hundred…percent…sure.”

He laughed. “That’s mathematically impossible.”

“Geek,” I said as I reached down to unzip my jeans and started sliding them off. He stopped laughing, his eyebrows lifting. Then he grabbed my hands, leaned down and kissed me again, but this time insistently, our hands clasped together, the backs of mine pressing into the ground. He pulled my bottom lip into this mouth and sucked on it before letting go. Then he released my hands, slid his fingers into the sides of my panties, and slipped them all the way down my legs.

He ran his fingers up the inside of my thighs just barely grazing my center, making me gasp. He knelt, his gaze burning into me, and took off his jeans and boxers. He was beautiful and swollen with want. I reached for him, pulling him down to me so I could feel him, touch him everywhere.

I trailed my hands down his back and it was his turn to gasp as my hands slid around to the front of his hips.

“Um…” he said, “Skye? I’m not sure I can last much longer.”

“Please tell me you kept the condoms.”

“What kind of idiot do you take me for?” He said as he reached for his backpack and pulled the package out of a side pocket. He picked one foil square out and held it up for me to see.

“The BEST kind,” I said, and I took it out of his hands and ripped it open. He was kneeling between my legs and my hands were shaking as I rolled the condom onto him.

This felt like one of those important moments in my life—not just a casual thing. And part of me didn’t want to think about it as
either
.

I didn’t want to define it. I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to feel.

And, oh my god, it felt goooood.

He took my face in his hands again and kissed me, this time softy, deeply, like he was relishing every taste. He leaned over me as I lay back, and then he lowered his hips. God, he was right there. The feel of him at my opening was too much. I lifted my hips to guide him in and he slowly, in a delightfully torturous way, pushed himself in.

I moaned as he stilled, and looked at him above me. His hair fell down over his forehead and he had the most beautiful smile on his face.

“God, you weren’t kidding,” I said, grinning. “You really ARE easy.”

His smile grew, and then he leaned down and spoke softly, his breath ragged in my ear. “Tell me that you want me.”

“I want you,” I said, my ache growing with every breath. “I want you, Asher. I only want you.” I shifted my hips under him.

Then he lifted up, making me hollow with his absence, and thrust again, filling me as no one ever had.

Rocking me.

Releasing me.

Shattering me into a million pieces.

And pulling me back together again until I was whole.

twenty-one