Anyone? (28 page)

Little time left together?
I dropped the oxygen mask on
the bed and blinked over and over again. “How much time are we talking about?”

Dad placed a hand on the glass and let it slide down the
smooth surface. He lowered his head and kept it there as he spoke. “Tomorrow
morning, if you’re not showing improvement”—his voice wavered—”we’ll be turning
off the machines.” He looked up at me and tears ran down his face. “You won’t
feel a thing, honey. I promise. I’ll make sure.”

“No, don’t turn them off. I’ll fight this, please.” I just
got here. This wasn’t right.

“The generators are struggling to keep up. I’m afraid we don’t
have a choice.”

“I don’t want to die.”

“I don’t want you to either.” He hung his head, and his
sobbing brought reality crashing down on me.

This was really happening.

Toby placed a hand on Dad’s shoulder.

I didn’t speak. I didn’t cry. Numbness took over and I didn’t
feel much of anything. A day? They were only giving me one day?

“We’ll be by your side the whole time. You won’t be alone.”

I was no longer listening. “Where’s Cole?”

They exchanged a look.

“Where is he? Why isn’t he here? Let him in, please. I need
to see him.”

Toby leaned close to the intercom, taking Dad’s place. “Tess,
what are you talking about?”

“The guy who brought me here? Where is he?” He promised he
wouldn’t be a douchebag and leave me without saying goodbye.

“There’s nobody—”

I waved my hand, stopping my brother. “Never mind.”
Cole,
you asshole.
I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d take off.

“Tess, I’m sorry. I wish....” Toby choked. “If I could trade
places with you, I would.”

The tears came then, running silently over my cheeks and
down my neck. I adjusted the oxygen mask over my face, rolled away from both of
them, and squeezed my eyes shut.

I wouldn’t want anyone to take my place.

I didn’t want anyone to hurt as bad as I did.

“Do you remember when you were a little girl and used to
carry around Mr. Pickles everywhere you went? Do you remember that?” Dad
smiled.

I nodded, but kept my eyes closed. I loved that darn stuffed
bunny. One of the ears had fallen off and most of its whiskers, all except for
one clear plastic strand that stuck straight out and snagged on everything.
That stuffed animal slept with me every night until I was almost ten. I’d
always wondered what happened, because it seemed like one day I had it and then
the next day I didn’t. It just vanished.

“Why did you bring that up?”

Toby shifted in his chair and gave Dad quite a look. “Thanks
a lot.”

He knew something!
I lifted the oxygen mask and watched
them both through the glass. “What did you do to Mr. Pickles?”

He raised both his hands. “Before I admit anything, I want
you to know I’m really sorry, I swear.”

“What did you do?” My eyes fluttered open.

“You’ve got to admit that thing was getting pretty gross and
was on its last legs.”

“Tell me
,
Toby. What did you do?”

“Okay, okay. You know that BB gun I got for my birthday?”

I nodded, not liking where this was going.

“And remember how Mom told me I couldn’t shoot real animals?”

I lifted the mask, but held it within a few inches of my
face. “You shot Mr. Pickles.”

“By accident. I shot your rabbit by accident, and then I
buried him in the backyard.”

“That doesn’t sound like an accident. That sounds pretty
deliberate to me.”

Toby smiled. “Maybe a little.”

“I forgive you, you big jerk. I guess while we’re admitting
things, I should tell you about that Dale Murphy autographed baseball you loved?”

Toby sat forward and smacked the window. “I knew you did it!
What did you do with my ball?”

I smiled through my sleepy haze. “I gave it to Robby
Grindstaff in exchange for five bucks.”

“No!” He slumped back. “Do you know how much that thing was
worth?”

“I’d have to say five bucks.”

“I can’t believe you did that. Please tell me you at least spent
the money on something good.”

“Not really. I think I spent it on packages of Pop Rocks candy.”
Medicine swirled through my body, causing sleep to tug on my eyelids. “I’m
feeling kind of tired, why don’t you and Dad go get something to eat? I won’t
even notice you’re gone. I promise I’ll be here when you get back.”

Dad placed a hand on Toby’s arm. “Go. I’ll be there in a
minute.”

“Are you sure?” Toby looked from Dad to me. “I don’t know.”

I nodded. “We still have until morning, right? No one’s
pulling the plug on me before then, so go, please. Don’t make me worry about
you guys.”

Toby stood and placed the palm of his hand against the glass.
“I’ll be back.”

They’d moved my bed closer to the window, and I touched the
glass where his hand was. “I’ll be here.”

He left and Dad scooted his chair closer to the glass. “I
wish I could touch you.”

I smiled sadly. “Me too.”

“I’m sorry. I should never have left you in the bunker. I
should’ve brought you with me to go find your brother...” He shook his head,
his eyes closed. “There were a lot of things I should have done differently.”

“Dad, don’t. You did what you thought was right. I don’t
blame you.”

His eyes met mine. “I blame myself.”

“Please don’t.”

“I should have gone back for you. I broke my promise to you.”

I shook my head a little. “Toby needed you. You had to stay
with him. Besides, if you’d come for me, we’d both be in the room and Toby
would have nobody. I don’t want him to be alone.”

Dad hung his head, crying. “I love you, Tess.” His hand
mirrored mine on the window. Only a few inches of glass separated us.

“I love you, too.” I blinked away sleep, trying to hold on for
a moment longer. My hand dropped from the glass. “Are you and Toby going to be
okay? I mean, with everything going on? Are you safe here?”

He sighed. “As safe as we can be, but as far as being okay?
I’ll never be okay. Not without you. Not without your mom.”

I didn’t want to think about any of that. “What are your
plans? You can’t live underground forever, can you?” The facility, an abandoned
military base, though providing most of the necessities, could never be a
permanent solution.

“I don’t know, honey. We’re taking it one step at a time.
Radiation levels outside are dropping. The air is getting better, but we still
have a long way to go before it’s livable. You saw what the government’s
solution was, so for now, hiding is the best option, but we hope that will
change soon. That’s all we can do.”

“I’m really tired.” Hanging on to consciousness became
harder with each passing minute. “I’m going to sleep for a little bit, okay?
Just a little while.”

“You do that, sweetheart. You do that.” He patted the glass.

My eyes drooped closed. “Don’t turn off anything yet, okay?”

“We won’t. We’re still hoping for a miracle.”

“Me too, Dad. Me too.”

“Hey, sleepy-head.”

Cole?

I forced my eyelids to shake off the heaviness holding them
closed. He sat on the foot of the bed, grinning like he always seemed to do,
and he patted my leg before giving it a gentle squeeze.

I eased myself into a sitting position, careful not to
disturb any of the dozens of tubes and wires attached to various parts of my
body. I skimmed the room, saw we were alone, and slipped the oxygen mask from
my face. I wasn’t supposed to, but wearing it made talking difficult.

“I thought you’d left. I even called you an asshole.”

“Sounds about right. We have this up and down kind of
relationship, don’t we?”

“I hated you.”

His smile faded. “I told you if I hadn’t said goodbye, then
I hadn’t left.”

I pulled the sheets up over my chest, covering my near-nakedness.
“What are you doing in here?”

“What? You’re not happy to see me?” He squeezed my leg again.
“I thought you’d like a visitor.”

“Of course, I just...” I glanced at the large window separating
me from everyone else, making me feel like a goldfish in a bowl. Those monitoring
me, watching my vitals, checking on me for improvement, weren’t there. Neither
was Dad or Toby. Strange to see the little room completely empty. “Are you even
supposed to be in here, and aren’t you supposed to be wearing all the
precautionary stuff?” Anybody who entered the room wore masks, gloves, and
hazmat-like suits.

“First,” he said. “I don’t believe what you have is
contagious. I’d already be sick right now if you were, but I’m not. We spent a
lot of time together, right?”

I nodded slowly.

“They’re being a little excessive. Second, I’ve been living
out there in the elements a lot longer than you, and I’m fine. I’m not worried,
so don’t you be. And thirdly, no one is keeping me from seeing you. I needed to
see for myself that you were fine. I brought you here, and I wanted to make
sure they were treating you right.”

“They’re treating me well, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not
getting any better.” I indicated to the machines wrapped around my bed. “They’re
turning those off in the morning.”

He didn’t say anything, but stared at the beeping and
humming equipment.

“It’s okay,” I said. “At least I got to see my dad and
brother again. I didn’t think I would. You gave me that. Thank you.”

“That’s not right.” He shook his head. “That’s not supposed
to happen.”

“I know.”

“No, that’s not supposed to happen.” He took my hand in his.
His fingers trembled against mine. “Are you certain?”

I nodded.

Neither of us spoke for a moment. I relished his hand in
mine as he traced his thumb over my palm—the only place not covered in wires.

“I
am
glad you’re here,” I said. “I really am.”

“Me too.”

“Where did you go?”

He tipped his head and leaned in a little closer toward me. “I
brought you something.”

“Really?” I didn’t think I was supposed to have anything in
the room—not even him—but I was dying, so what did it matter?

He released my hand, held up a finger to tell me to wait,
then reached in to his thick jacket and produced the ever-growing ball of
fluff.

Callie meowed when he placed her into my arms.

I hugged her to me, pressing my face against her, and my
tears fell, wetting her fur. “I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. Oh, my
gosh, Cole! You went back for her.” I couldn’t believe it. “Thank you, thank
you!”

Cole half-smiled. He scratched Callie’s head. “Did you
really think I wouldn’t go back for her? She’s worn on me almost as much as you
have.”

Tears poured down my face. “With everything going on, and
leaving her behind, I thought—”

He put his hand up, stopping me. “I wasn’t going to let
anything happen to either of you.” Tears rimmed his eyes. “I’m
not
going
to let anything happen to you. We’ve been through too much to let this happen.”
He pointed to the machines. “Don’t give up.”

I held on to Callie with one hand, holding her against me,
and reached for him with my other, needing to touch him. “I don’t think I have
a choice.”

He shook his head and took my hand in his, holding on as
though if by letting it go I would drift away. Maybe I would. He slipped his
hands into his front pocket and removed something else.

Silent tears ran down my cheeks as he tied the familiar
bracelet around my wrist. He lifted my hand to his lips and he kissed my
fingers, but said nothing.

“I don’t know that I have any will left,” I said. I
appreciated the gesture, but I could feel my body fighting me. Each breath
became harder than the previous. “But thank you.”

“Are you in any pain?”

“No, not really.”

“This is ridiculous.” He smacked the bed. “What can I do,
Tess? Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“There’s nothing you can do.”

“There has to be something!”

I blinked a few times and smiled. “The only thing I want is
for you to stay. Just stay.”

He didn’t say anything, seeming to contemplate my request. “Okay,”
he said. “Okay.”

“Really?” I didn’t expect it to be that easy.

“Yeah, I’ll stay as long as I can.”

I couldn’t have asked for more than that. I made room for
him beside me, and he hesitated for only a minute before lying down and curving
his body around mine. Callie purred and stretched on the opposite side with her
body against my belly and her furry head below my chin.

“I’m scared,” I said. “Not for me, but for my dad and
brother. For you.”

“Don’t be scared,” he whispered against my ear. “Don’t worry
about any of us.”

“You know, I didn’t really like you in the beginning.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I could tell, but to be fair, I didn’t
much care for you either.”

“Now, the funny thing is that I can’t imagine being in a
place where you’re not.”

He kissed the back of my head. “Don’t give up yet,” he said.
“It’s not quite morning.”