Anxious Love (Love Sick #1) (12 page)

"Fragile?"

"I don't really know why I get that impression. I mean, we're not talking last American Virgin, but I don't know. Sometimes, I feel like if I move to fast, I'll scare her away."

"Then slow the fuck down. Take her lead. Be selfish for once in your life. Make it just about sex."

"I'm not a selfish kind of guy." Which explained why I went down on her a few hours ago with no thought of her reciprocating. I could still taste her on my tongue. I shifted off the counter. "Sorry, man. Go back to
your
little friend. I'll see you in the morning."

"Ry, man. Listen. If there was ever a time in your life when you should be happy and excited about things to come, it's now. You're living the dream." He picked up his waters and headed toward his room. "We are living the dream. Dude, try and enjoy it."

I grabbed a pillow off the leather couch and threw it at him. He sidestepped it and giggled like a little girl as he went back to his room.

As I stepped into my room, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I took it out and tapped the screen to retrieve the message. It was a close-up image of a man and woman, naked and embracing in black and white. Written over the image in loopy letters said, "I can still feel you."

Ryan: What is that? Are you trying to tease me? :-)

Leah: In the book marketing world, it's referred to as a teaser. Gives my readers a taste of what's to come.

Ryan: I already had a taste. I want more.

Leah: Then the teaser worked.

Ryan: After OTAs?

Leah: After OTAs!

My brain switched back and forth fast. I couldn't keep up.

I smiled and plugged in my phone. I headed into the bathroom and turned the shower on lukewarm. I didn't want to rub one out the night before practice. Figured the pent-up energy might serve me well. The idea lasted all of two seconds. As soon as I stroked my cock, I knew I needed to take care of it or I would never get to sleep.

It was the only way I could get Leah off my mind.

I didn't see much of Ryan in the following days. His off-season workouts had started, and they wore him out.

I counted down until they were over. After five days, I needed to see him.

On the final day, we were supposed to have dinner, but he called and canceled. He said he was beat. I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.

If he was too tired to come to me, I figured I'd go to him.

I knew it was a bad idea the minute I stepped out the house. I had his address, but I had no idea about the neighborhood, the area. I did no kind of research. My need to see him made me forget myself. I would never go to a new place without doing research first. I let my desire lead me, and it deposited me in front of a four-story red brick building that took up the whole block. Each floor was covered with windows separated by black metal. It was very industrial and modern.

Ryan lived on the fourth floor.

An older gentleman exited and held the door open for me. I walked into a small corridor with shiny brick flooring and exposed plastered walls.

By the time I reached the elevators, my heart was beating out of my chest. I wasn't sure if it was the unplanned excursion or because I was anxious to see him. I stood outside his door for minutes because I couldn't bring myself to knock. What if I was disturbing him? What if he didn't want to see me? What if he wasn't home? All these thoughts ran through my head. I shook them away and rang the doorbell.

I muffled a gasp as the door swung open. I opened my mouth but closed it when standing before me was a girl with long blond hair and legs that seem to go on for days.

I unabashedly checked the girl out. Sized her up while I had the chance. She wasn't looking at me; she was talking to someone inside the apartment.

She swung her hair off her shoulder as she turned. Her body leaned on the doorframe. She stood waiting for me to speak, but my focus was on the tall, handsome figure standing near the back of the apartment in gym shorts and nothing else. His skin glistened as he had recently gotten out of the shower. I smelled the clean scent of soap on the amazon standing in front of me and my mind clicked.

I interpreted Ryan's expression as guilt. I caught a glimpse of my own in the mirror at the end of the hall as I spun on my heels and headed back to the elevator.

My heartbeat pumped in my ears and the world tilted in and out of focus. I made it to the elevator and stabbed at the recall button. When it lit up, I rested my forehead on the wall and concentrated on breathing.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, and exhale.

I yelped when Ryan's voice boomed in my ear. I didn't hear him coming down the hall, which was strange since the same brick tile from the entryway lined the hallway. He reached out and took my hand; a chill ran up my spine, and I pulled away. My reflexes muffled. I knew he was speaking to me, but I couldn't hear words.

Calm down, Leah.

As I exhaled once more, the world popped back into my consciousness, and I heard Ryan's voice.

"Leah, What's wrong?"

I shook my head.

"Come back in."

"No, I'm fine. You go ahead." I swallowed. "Go back to your..." I didn't know who she was, so I didn't know what to call her.

I blinked and heard footsteps coming down the hall—not one set, but two.

"Hey, Ryan, we're heading out. You sure you two don't want to come?"

Ryan turned and the man speaking had his hand interlaced with the tall blonde.

"Is this her?" she asked Ryan. "He said you were beautiful."

She reached out her hand. I saw my hand reach out and shake it.

"Leah, this is my roommate, Daniel, and his girlfriend, Kelly."

"It's nice to meet you," Kelly said. I reached my left hand and tugged on Ryan's T-shirt as I shook hands with Daniel.

"Nice to meet you, too," I said, not recognizing my own voice.

"You two go ahead. I'm beat," Ryan said.

"Okay." The elevator arrived. They stepped in and turned around. Before the elevator closed, Daniel said, "Leah, I'm happy you're here. Maybe you can cheer him up."

I nodded and smiled.

Daniel was hot, as attractive as Ryan, but in an entirely different way. While Ryan was tall and thick, Daniel was long, tall, and lean. His bald head and dark complexion would have intimidated anyone, but his goofy grin made me like him instantly.

I waved as the elevator closed and turned to look into Ryan's disapproving eyes. I couldn't read them. He headed back toward his apartment, but I remained standing by the elevator. He stopped a few feet away.

"Are you coming?"

I bit my lip, lowered my head, and followed. He walked into his place. I stopped at the door and surveyed my surroundings.

Ryan plopped down in the middle of a huge leather sectional with his back to me.

My shoes tapped along the dark hardwood floors as I walked behind the couch, checking out the rest of the place.

His hands clasped on his lap, and he stared at the big flat screen mounted on the wall between two doors. He was engrossed in highlights on some sports channel but blinked and sat back when, instead of sitting next to him, I sat directly in his line of sight on the edge of the coffee table.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked studying the back of his hand. "For stopping by without calling or for thinking, I don't know what you were thinking, about Kelly, and then walking away when I called you."

"Which one will make you forgive me faster?"

He narrowed his eyes and his stare made my stomach flip.

"I didn't know you and Daniel lived together."

"It never came up."

"Kelly is pretty."

"What's your point?"

"If you want me to leave..." I stood up. He grabbed my hand and squeezed my wrist.

"No, don't leave." He sighed. I lowered myself back down on the coffee table. "I just had a bad day. And I canceled on you because I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Why didn't you want me to see you like this?" I asked. "I thought we were doing this relationship thing. Hence, my ire at the leggy blonde answering your door and you walking around with no shirt on."

"Ire?" He raised his eyebrows.

"What? It's a word. It means anger, outrage, temper," I said. With each word, my tone grew more annoyed.

"Yeah, I know what it means." Ryan narrowed his eyes.

"What? You didn't think I knew what it means."

"No." He looked at me like I grew horns. "It's just not typically used in conversation."

What the fuck does that mean?

I exhaled.

"I'm sorry. Have we gotten off topic a little bit?"

"What? The topic about you being jealous of Kelly?"

"I'm ... not ... jealous." I said, over pronouncing each word. "That wasn't jealousy. It was annoyance. You cancel on me because you're tired, and I find you naked with some blond amazon."

"Well, as you can see, I am clothed"—he pinched the shirt he now wore—"and not messing around with my roommate’s girlfriend, so you have no reason to be jealous, I mean annoyed."

I shook my head and slapped him on the thigh. He chuckled.

"Prodigious—"

"Okay, little one. You keep it up?"

I giggled. "Why did you have a bad day?"

"Practice sucked. That's all, but I'm over it."

"You're over it?"

He nodded his head.

"I guess I don't need to cheer you up then." I tilted my head and grinned when the corners of his mouth curled up.

"Well, I'm not completely over it. If you wanted to cheer me up, you can."

I knelt on the floor in front of him, positioning myself between his legs. He was leaning on his knees, and I placed my hands on both sides of his head and kissed him. He pressed for more, and I leaned back. I gave him a wink and kissed him again. This time, he let me take the lead. With my lips barely touching his, my tongue darted out and licked from his top to his bottom lip before I kissed him. I blew a small amount of air over his lips, and they parted. I pressed my tongue into his mouth, and he accepted it, sucking on it as I pushed him back on the couch.

My hands moved underneath his shirt. I broke the kiss because I wanted to taste much more than his lips. I leaned over, pushed up his shirt, and kissed his stomach. My tongue traced the edge of each muscle. I peeked and saw his intense gaze watching my every move.

"You feeling better," I said in a seductive voice that I didn't even recognize. I ran my hand over the bulge in his gym shorts.

"Getting th-here."

He stuttered over the word. I grinned and licked my lips. He felt large and rock solid against my palm. I kissed the muscles on his lower abs. They tensed under my lips.

I leaned in. The smirk on his face spurred me on. The bulge in his shorts rubbed across my chests as I leaned in further. It helped my confidence. His low, deep groan made my own core flutter.

I sat back on my heels and ran my hands down his abs, my fingers spread out to cover his firm, tan muscles. I leaned over once more, licked and kissed the spot below his belly button and his cocked twitched. I grinned and sat back, curled my fingers under the waistband of his pants, and peeled them back releasing his cock.

My eyes grew wide as I stared. My mind flipped through the
word cabinet
in my mind of all the words and phrases I used to describe a man's anatomy in my books: large, huge, massive, smooth, long, hard, thick. All those words combined didn't begin to capture what Ryan's cock looked like, and what having it in front of me did to my soul. It was magnificent. Not a word I used lightly, but no other word would do it justice. I felt the urge to bow down to it like it was an unexplained structure sent from the gods for women to worship.

I licked my lips and caught Ryan doing the same. I forgot for a minute he was attached to it. The cock.

"So can I break the seductive role play for a minute and just say...Wow!!!"

His chuckle got caught in his throat as my hand gripped him at the base.

I squeezed. He winced. I ran my hand up and down the shaft, and he groaned.

I loved the way it felt in my hand. From the sounds he made, he enjoyed it, as it grew harder and straighter. In reality, I was stalling. I had no idea how to even approach it.

Okay, a good blowjob includes moisture, tension, and suction. Oh, and I need to relax...

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Ryan asked as he reached out and caressed my cheek. I bit my lip and felt my cheeks grow hot, but his touch sent warmth through my whole body.

"Just planning my attack."

Ryan grabbed himself. I pouted like he stole my favorite toy. My heart ached from its sudden absence. I stared up at him.

"Sorry. Something about the word attack in reference to my penis..." He shook his head.

"Okay, how about my approach, my strategy, proper protocol, if you will."

Ryan reached out with an amused expression on his face. I placed my hand in his, and he placed my hand back on his cock.

"I'm pretty sure if you just put your mouth on me, you're eighty percent assured success."

"Eighty percent." I scrunched my face. "That's not good enough."