ANUNDR: THE EXODUS (36 page)

The sound of drums roused Kalani from her sleep. The day hadn’t broken and her eyes were heavy and itched from all the crying after learning of Amse’s fate. That night, she had woken from nightmares of his death and called his name till he answered, to make sure he was still with her. She remembered Maris’ words to her the day before. If he wasn’t executed, he would die from the fever that was consuming him.

The drums were getting closer.

‘Amse, can you hear it?’ she asked, rising to her feet.

‘Yes.’ he said. His voice was low and his breathing was labored. Kalani looked at him as he lay on the hay. When they had brought him back blind, she knew they had broken him and he would never be the same.

She heard the gate to their corridor open. She knew they were coming for him. Prince Meldric and some soldiers came into view.

‘What are those drums for?’ she asked.

‘They are execution drums. He and a few other prisoners will be burned today.’ he said as the soldiers opened Amse’s cell.

‘Please,’ Kalani said with fresh tears, ‘don’t do this. Did you get not my message?’

‘Maris delivered it but someone has to die today and you’ve made it clear that you know nothing which means you have nothing to confess but lies.’

‘Please.’ she said as the soldiers took Amse out.

‘Wait, please.’ Amse said, stretching his clenched hand in Kalani’s direction.

‘Be quick.’ said Meldric, walking ahead. Amse found her hand and he grasped it, placing his talisman in her palm.

‘It was your mother’s. Promise me you’ll finish it.’

‘Amse—’

‘Finish it. That’s all I ask, for me. And remember what I said; if your strength is not enough, cry to Galian.’ The soldiers dragged him away.

‘No.’ she shouted. ‘Please.’

She shouted till she heard the gate on her corridor close. She dropped on her knees, weeping, and flung the hay out of her cell. She hugged her knees and rocked herself as the drums moved farther and farther away. The drums stopped. She knew what it meant. She hit the bars and whispered Amse’s name, then she said it louder, then she screamed it till she could scream no more. She lay on the floor and cuddled herself, convulsing with her tears as she stroked Amse’s talisman. She wanted to hurt herself but she balled her hands into fists. Never again, she swore, never again would she let her enemies see her weak or crying. She wouldn’t cower anymore. And if she ever escaped, she would make sure they all burned. The temple, the palace, Helmford itself will burn.

The sun was making its descent when Natalia reached the army. She had ridden hard all day. The mud had caked in her hair and clothes and it itched but she kept her mind on what she would say to King Hametis.

From a hill, she saw them riding forward. She rode down. She wanted to find the beginning of the line. She cut them off before they reached the mouth of the trench they were riding through. The soldiers in front stopped on seeing her, causing everyone else to stop as well. They brought out their swords.

‘Whom do you seek?’

She shouted, ‘I am Princess Natalia of Helmford. I seek King Hametis.’ Her voice echoed in the trench. They were whispers and movements among the throng. King Meldric came forward, his face wide in disbelief. She got down from the horse and strode to him.

He seemed to be wrestling with words. ‘Natalia…how did you—’

‘Father, did you know I would be placed in the Death End?’

‘What? No, I didn’t.’

King Hametis stepped forward, interrupting them. He smiled on seeing her and said, ‘So you’re the one keeping us here.’

‘You will wait because my grievances are many.’

‘I’m sure they are.’ he said, chuckling.

‘You knew what would have happened if I didn’t win.’

‘But you won faster than most of my men.’

‘You gamed with my life.’

‘And you chose to play.’

She approached him, but a soldier stood in her way and said, ‘Don’t try it.’

‘I’ll do as I wish.’ she said. ‘My lord Hametis, if you ever use me for sport again, I promise you even if it’s a thousand Death Ends, I’ll find my way out and I’ll come for blood. Even your guards won’t stop me then. I’m here to fight for my people and I don’t need your consent.’

Hametis laughed and said, ‘You have it already.’

Natalia’s eyes caught a round reddish spot close on his cheek as Hametis relaxed his face into a smile. It jolted her mind back to a dream. Hametis turned to her father and said, ‘Meldric, your daughter has the heart of a king and from now on will be a member of the Council.’

Natalia drew back in shock. ‘What?!’ She had caught his last words.

‘Father.’ Ishkhan said, coming from behind her. She turned to look at him. He gaped at her appearance, ‘What happened?’

‘Ask your father.’ she said.

‘What do you want to say, Ishkhan?’ asked Hametis.

Ishkhan glanced back at her, then turned to him. ‘Father, the road is clear, and I and the men found a good place to rest for the night not too far from here.’

‘Natalia,’ said Hametis, ‘what do you think of the plains here?’

‘The plains are good to settle—’

‘Good.’ he said. ‘We’ll do as you’ve said. We’ll rest here for the night.’

Ishkhan said, ‘But father—’

‘Princess Natalia has spoken and so have I.’

Natalia said, ‘But my lord—’

He ignored her and said to the soldiers, ‘We rest in the plains tonight.’

Ishkhan stomped into the crowd. Natalia sighed as she watched him go.

                                                                      ***

Natalia adjusted the fresh tunic she had on and smoothened out her hair. She was glad the grime was gone. She touched her neck and sighed. She wished she still had the talisman. It was the only thing she had come to trust. Without it, she felt alone.

‘My lady.’

She turned to see Janus walk into her tent.

‘What is it?’

‘The queen has sent for you.’

‘Take me to her.’

He led the way past tents and groups of soldiers eating in front of fires. She hurried her steps to walk by his side.

‘Did you know I would be tested?’ she asked him.

‘I had my suspicions but it wasn’t in my place to tell you.’

She scoffed, ‘I almost admire your loyalty.’

He smiled. ‘But you have gained the king’s favor.’

‘And his son’s loathing.’

‘Careful now, or people would think that it’s the other that matters more to you.’ He pushed aside the flap for her to go in, bypassing the guards at the entrance.

The queen’s tent was like none she had ever seen. It was large with silk lining the interior walls and lace curtains that screened the bed at the farthest end. There was a vase filled with spears close to it. The queen sat on an arm chair in the middle of the tent.

‘Welcome, child.’ she said and motioned to a seat close to hers.

Natalia sat down and adjusted the seat, feeling the queen’s eyes boring down at her.

‘I’m sure you know why you’re here.’ the queen said when Natalia finally looked at her.

‘I believe it has something to do with what you said last night before you left me on the floor.’

‘Yes.’ she said, clasping her hands together. ‘I make no apology for letting him test you.’

‘You
let
him?’

‘Yes, I did. I’ve been to the Death End myself. I must say it was no easy feat.’ She leaned closer. ‘Child, we women have learned to push our kind so only the strongest amongst us will rise because the flaw of one woman is judged as the flaw of many.’

‘No one gave you that charge.’

‘It is mine by virtue of birth.’ she said. ‘Child, my people have ties to the eyes of Galian and I’ve heard whispers of the rise of a new Anundr.’

Natalia kept her eyes fixed on hers. The queen smiled. ‘Yes, I know who you are and what the spirits call you. On your birth, the stars shot through the sky. I saw it too but I needed to be sure.’

‘That’s why you let him test me?’

‘And you were stronger than I thought.’ She leaned back. ‘Now, let me air my grievance. I come from the line of Galian and there was a family jewel lost for many years. I heard it has fallen into your hands. I don’t blame you for your ignorance but I’ll be quick to anger if you don’t return it.’

Natalia’s mouth fell. ‘Did you take it from me?’

‘Take it? I’m asking for it. Are you saying you do not have it?’

‘When I woke in the Death End, it was gone.’

‘That’s not possible.’ she said, rising and pacing the room. She turned to Natalia, ‘Are you lying, child?’

‘No, I swear it.’ Natalia watched her for a few moments and said, ‘You said you knew I had it. Why does it matter so much to you now?’

The queen sat down and rubbed her head. ‘It has always mattered, but I was never able to find it.’

‘But I thought they said the talisman belongs to the Anundr alone, not to the family.’

‘What do you know? The last Anundr was my brother. He was killed years ago and the star was taken from him.’

‘Bur there is another Anundr.’ she said. ‘I saw him.’

‘The thief!’

‘A thief wouldn’t give me the star.’

‘Unless he was your mother’s lover.’

Natalia caught her breath. The queen laughed. ‘There are whispers that you’re not the child of the king.’

Natalia rose and said snidely, ‘What do you know?’

‘You look nothing like the king, but you look like I spat you out.’ The queen walked towards her. ‘My hair, my face, my name and even my jewel. It seems you take after your real father as the thief he is.’

‘He’s not a thief!’

The queen laughed and said, ‘It’s a pity your mother is hiding the truth from you. She knows what would happen when the king and everyone learns of it. But she leaves you asking if you’re the seed of Galian or of Meldric.’

‘You know nothing of my mother.’

‘You would be surprised. The only reason the thief is in Helmford is because of her.  Sleeping with him was the only way she could cure her barrenness—’

‘My lady,’ said a soldier at the entrance, ‘King Hametis requests your presence.’

‘I’ll be with him shortly.’

The guard bowed and left. Natalia said to her, ‘You talk like you know many things. Now tell me, who is this man?’

‘Sadly, the thief is Gudliefyer, and an abomination to the clan.’

‘What is his name?’

‘Endre or something. I don’t recall.’

Natalia said, ‘It’s a pity, and I thought you knew everything.’

‘You may go now.’ said the queen, raising her voice.

‘You don’t need to tell me.’ Natalia said and walked to the entrance. She turned and said, ‘If you get the talisman, what would you do with it?’

‘I would start with the heavens, then descend.’

‘If all queens were like you, it’s better to have kings.’

‘I’m not your enemy.’

‘You are no friend either.’

Natalia strode to her tent, hugging herself and trembling. When she got in, she dropped on her knees and laid her head on her bed. She banged her fists on the bed as tears rolled down her face. The mystery surrounding Queen Natalia had disappeared leaving rage and disappointment. Natalia angrily rubbed her tears away.
What was wrong with her?
How could she let her break her with her lies?
She held her head.
How was she sure she was lying?

She made to get up but noticed something gleaming under her bed. She dug her hand in and gasped when she pulled out the talisman. Her hands trembled as she examined it under her lantern. She dug her hand below and felt something underneath it. She pulled out a parchment.

Natalia, the star of Galian was willed to you alone for the task you were given. You must keep it safe or it would fall into the wrong hands no matter how right they may seem. Trust no one.

She got up and looked around her. He had been there—in her room. He had known the queen would try to take it from her. He must in the army. How—

‘Natalia.’

She spun around.

Ishkhan stood at the entrance of her tent. His face was flustered and his eyes were bright.

‘What is it?’ she asked, squeezing the talisman in her fist.

‘Forgive me.’ he said, his eyes taking in her agitation. ‘The soldiers discovered a river nearby. I wondered if you would like to come with me.’

She could tell he was trying to apologize but she wanted to see his reaction if she refused.

‘I must decline. Rivers no longer interest me.’

‘But this one has flying fish.’

She laughed and said, ‘Flying fish? I doubt there is such a thing.’

‘Come with me and see for yourself.’ he said, extending his hand to her. She looked at his hand, then at him. She knew going with him would reopen a door. She could tell from his eyes. Gisilfried’s image flashed in her mind. She put the image aside.
After all, she wasn’t doing anything wrong.

She edged towards him. She wasn’t sure what would be unearthed at the end of the night but she had to go with him—
she needed to
.

‘Let us go and see your flying fish.’ she said and walked out of the tent without taking his hand.

They walked side by side in silence. It wasn’t awkward. Natalia knew what they had to discuss couldn’t be said there. It was a silence heavy with purpose as they headed out of the camp. She stole a glimpse at Queen Natalia’s tent. She tied the rope of the jewel around her wrist. She was glad she had it back. She felt the peace it came with, like she was in the right place. She wondered what Ishkhan and Gisilfried would think when they knew she wasn’t the child of the king. She didn’t want to think about it. Walking with Ishkhan made her restless enough.

The moon was the only light in their path but Natalia swore the moon had woven a spell over her. When his hand had brushed hers, she felt it so intensely but she said nothing, nor did she draw away. They left the camp and walked a small distance through the plains. Natalia could hear laughter as they approached the river. They reached a slope when she saw fishes jumping out of the river, their fins out like birds and crisscrossing above the water, avoiding the hands of the expectant soldiers and diving back in. Natalia laughed.

‘Should we go closer?’ Ishkhan asked.

‘Yes.’

He jumped down from the slope and held her waist to help her down. She held both his shoulders and her breath as he put her down. He looked down at her, his hands lingering on her waist, and she gazed up at him. She knew anything could happen then if she allowed it. She glanced at the river.

‘There are so many of them. It seems they’re going somewhere.’ she said.

He smiled and said, ‘This river leads to the Erland Sea. Come.’

They moved closer. His hand remained on her waist but she didn’t remove it. The guilt came again but she shoved it away.
He hadn’t tried to kiss her so there was nothing wrong
. He led her away from the soldiers to a side of the bank screened by the trees. They sat on a tree trunk and watched the river. The moon gave a shimmery light to the water and fish, creating an otherworldliness to them.

‘I think I should go for a swim. Would you join me?’ he asked, taking off his gambeson and exposing his pale smooth skin.

‘The water would be too cold.’ she said, lowering her eyes.

‘Are you afraid?’ he asked. She knew he was challenging her to get what he wanted.

‘I would rather delight in watching you.’ she said. Her eyes caught the ring she had given him dangling by a rope on his neck. She knew he wanted her to see it. She swallowed. Her throat was dry. She watched him take off his shoes and jump into the river. The fishes were now gone so he swam alone and splashed water at her. She smiled, remembering their childhood. Everything had been easier then, but many things had changed, so had she.

‘Atlas,’ he said, wading out of the water, ‘what is it?’

She kept at her eyes on his face but it was difficult not to stray. The water streamed down his taut chest, defining every curve.  Her cheeks burned.

‘It’s nothing.’ she said, rising. She didn’t know what she had been thinking. ‘I need to leave.’

‘Wait.’ He pulled her to him. His hands were wet and warm as he stroked her face. Her heartbeat raced and her breathing followed. She dangled between kissing him and fleeing. His breathing was hot and in her face. A smell she remembered and missed. She wanted a taste—just a brush of his lips—then she would pull away and forget him. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she was lying. Gisilfried crossed her mind again but a dimmer picture as Ishkhan drew her closer to him. She said nothing neither did she push him away. Her eyes were open as his lips descended.

‘No!’ she said, pulling herself away from him.

‘Natalia--’

‘No, Ishkhan.’ she said, ‘It’s unfair to excite my feelings after all these years. When you left Helmford, it was as if you were dead. You didn’t return neither did you write.’

He picked up his gambeson and said, ‘Did the thought ever cross your mind to write to me or come to Arngeirr? No, it didn’t.’

She didn’t speak. The heat in her body turned to anger.

‘Did you ever wonder what happened?’ he asked.

‘Of course,’ she said, ‘but you ever wrote.’ She couldn’t believe he had turned it on her.

‘I lost my mother.’ he said.

The words cut through her like a knife. She turned away and said, ‘My father told me about it months later.’

‘And you still didn’t write.’

She looked down. ‘How did it happen?’

‘I was returning from Helmford and I was only a day from Arngeirr when my mother rode out to meet me. There was something she wanted to tell me. She looked afraid, I didn’t understand. Moments after she reached me, six masked men attacked us….She died.’ He sat down on the trunk and wore his shoes. She sat beside him, silent, knowing he would continue.

He said, ‘I carried my mother’s corpse to the castle. My father blamed me for her death as though I didn’t blame myself. He told me it would have been better if I had died in her place.’

There was silence. It was awkward and painful. She needed to fill it.

She touched his arm and said, ‘Now, I understand how much you suffered.’

‘You understand?’ he said, rising. ‘You know nothing of the rage I feel when I see him and remember what he did—his words. You’re too shielded to know these things.’

She rose in anger. ‘Don’t assume you know all I have faced. The girl that stands before you is not the same one that you left in Helmford. Because you have known pain doesn’t give you the right to undermine me.’

The rage in his eyes left. He rubbed his face and said, ‘Natalia, forgive me. Sometimes, I’m blinded by rage. You’re the last person I want angry with me.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ she said, turning away. She didn’t understand why her eyes stung.

‘It matters to me.’ He turned her to face him. ‘You matter to me.’

‘Why now?’ she asked.

‘After her death,’ he said, ‘I thought it wiser to keep myself away. But when I set my eyes on you again, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I remembered our love and how it felt to touch you and kiss you.’

She pulled away from him. ‘You’ve had too much wine.’

‘Tell me you don’t feel the same way.’

‘I don’t.’ she said, turning to him. ‘Seeing you again is like stabbing my heart in places I thought had healed. When my happiness doesn’t seem too far away, I see you again and you take it from me.’

Ishkhan drew back. ‘There is someone else.’

‘Yes, and I promised myself to him.’

‘He cannot love you as much as I.’

‘I don’t want him to. Ishkhan, you’re not a man of your word and any man who cannot keep his words cannot be trusted with one’s heart.’

‘Then I hope you find happiness with him since I’m not worthy of you.’ he said and kicked the tree trunk before storming away.

Natalia turned to the river and held herself as tears rolled down her eyes. All she felt was a throbbing pain in her heart that worsened even as she cried for relief.