ANTONIO: Diablos MC (9 page)

“So why if you did all this for Emma and Haylee knows all about Vera and her bullshit then why no contact.  Why didn’t she reach out to me to work things out? Put Emma aside.  Why nothing.”

Tank laughs. “Brother you know nothing about woman.  You can never say put their kids aside.  Their entire worlds revolve around their damn kids.  Any man gets in a way of that and they are done.” 

“Not my fucking mom.  Hell anyone with a dick was more important than me any day.”  Skanky fucking druggy whore of a mother.

“Haylee isn’t like the moms you and I had.  She is the real deal.  Meaning Emma is first and always first.  She is a good mom.  She named her after you.” 

I smile at him.  “Yeah Emma told me that.  Said her mom named her after her dad.  So I kind of spilled the beans that I was her dad.  Hope I don’t get in too much trouble for that.” 

“She never hid you man.  She has told Emma all about you. I guess you can say I kind of hid them from you.  Sorry man.”

I shake my head no.  Yeah I am fucking pissed at him but I am also so grateful for him as well. He did what a true brother is supposed to do.  Protect what is ours.  And that little girl is one of ours.  My little girl. “Don’t be.  You are right.  Even if I would have known back then I would have fucked it all up anyways.  I didn’t want kids.  Not really sure that has changed much.  But I do know that little girl has already tugged at my heart and I am never letting her go.”

“That’s what I want to hear.  Just whatever happens between you and Haylee always remember to protect Emma.  And if you don’t.  I will fuck you up brother.” 

I shake my head in agreement.  I would never hurt my little girl.  She will never know fear, no boogey man will ever scare her, no boys will ever break her heart if I can help it.  She will have anything and everything she will ever want and she will always be with her daddy.  Haylee just doesn’t know it yet.  But she is about to come home for good.  Weather she likes it or not.

CHAPTER 10

HAYLEE

              It has been 2 hours since Toni confronted me in his room.  I am glad he accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to fight in front of my daughter.  Or I mean our daughter.  He hasn’t tried to talk to me at all since leaving his room.  Part of me is happy about that. There are too many people around to try and hash out all this out right now.  But then a small part of me is annoyed he hasn’t tried talking to me at all. I know I sound selfish but it has been so long.  I just miss him.  I have however caught him staring at me every now and then. I can’t figure out what he is thinking. When he looks at me there are too many emotions showing on his face.  I don’t know how to read him.  But the one person he has been attached to the entire time is Emma.  Only left her side once when she came running towards me needing to use the restroom.  But the second we opened the door to leave the restroom he was there waiting, picked her up and walked away from me again.  I can’t take my eyes off of those two.  He is so good with her.  Sitting and watching them together makes me regret not reaching out and telling him I was pregnant. I thought about it so many times over the years. Even thought maybe if I had told him he would have come around and accepted becoming a dad.  Maybe he would have loved her from the start.  But I know deep down it wouldn’t have gone as smooth as I wish.  He told me so many times he was never going to be a dad ever.  I never found out his reasoning for being so strong against fatherhood but whatever it was made him certain he wouldn’t support having a kid.  But I guess it is different when it’s an actual living breathing person staring right back at you.  Hard to turn your back on someone when they stare at you with the same eyes as you.  But I still don’t even know if he wants to be her dad.  I mean yeah he is her dad but does he want to be an active dad.  Does he want to be in her life.  Does he want to actually be her daddy and not just a sperm donor.  I guess the only way to know for sure is to sit down and talk to him.  Which is coming up really soon.  I have been watching Emma for the last half hour struggling to stay awake.  She missed her nap and now we are approaching her bed time.  So I know anytime now I will have to confront Toni.  Ready or not.  Time to confront my past. 

              15 minutes later I look where Emma and Toni had been standing and I can’t find them.  Seeing Tank, a crossed the room I ask him “Tank I can’t seem to find Emma or Toni.  Have you seen them?”

              He points down the hall “I saw him carrying her down the hall towards his room.”

              I smile at him “Thank you.” Turning around and walking towards his room.  Once in front of his door I lean against to see if I can hear anything but I hear nothing.  After lightly knocking Toni opens his door.  Without saying a word, he walks over and sits down on a chair that is directly placed beside his bed.  Which is where I see a sleeping Emma.  “How long ago did she fall asleep?”  I ask quietly.

              “15 minutes ago.”  He says softly without looking away from her.

              “We should get going.  It is past her bedtime anyways.” I say as I gather her shoes off the floor. 

              “Where are you staying?”  He finally turns and looks at me.

              A shiver runs over me as I make eye contact with him.  I forgot how intense his eyes can be.  “Um we are staying at Tank and Monica’s house.”

              “NO.”  He says sternly.

              “No what?” I look at him confused.

              “You are not staying at Tanks house.” 

              “Well that is where we stayed last night and that is where all of our stuff is.  So yeah I think that means we are.”  I try to move in front of him to pick her up.  But he stands up affectively blocking me from picking her up.

              “Why didn’t you tell me?”  He growls.

              I hold my hand up. “Look I said we will talk.  And we will but not in front of her.  As much as you may think she is out she is a very light sleeper.  So once she is in bed you can yell at me all you want.  Although I don’t know why you feel the need to.  But if you want to then fine you can then.  But not until she is in her bed.” 

              He stands there looking at me.  I see his face go from angry and softens a little.  “Fine.  But you are not staying at Tanks.  You two are staying at my house.  End of discussion.” 

              “Toni.  All of our stuff is at Tanks.” 

              Turning and picking Emma up in his arms.  “This is not up for discussion Haylee.  My daughter will be under my roof.  Period.  And I will have one of the prospects go and gather all your belongings.  Now I assume you have a car seat in your car so if you will please lead the way.  Unless you want her to have her first ride on a bike tonight?”  He smirks at me. 

              Shaking my head in disbelief.  I forgot how fucking demanding he can be.  Through clenched teeth I say “Fine.  But I am saying goodbye to Monica and Tank before we go.” 

              Smiling big he swings his arm out in a grand gesture that says lead the way.  Rolling my eyes, I turn and storm out of his room with him and Emma following close behind.  Seeing Tank and Monica over by the bar.  I make my way to them.  Tell them congrats, giving hugs and saying goodbye.  Once Emma is secure in her car seat I turn towards Toni.  “You lead and I will follow.”

              Without any show of emotion Toni gets on his bike and leads the way.  Honestly I was half expecting to be heading towards his crappy little apartment that he used to live in back before I left.  But instead he leads us towards a nice subdivision.  Houses with huge yards, big houses.  When he turns into a drive way that leads up to a nice two story house with a two car garage attached I almost feel like this is a joke.  I work my ass off and could barely afford my small 2-bedroom house.  Not saying he doesn’t work hard but damn I am jealous. Parking my car right beside his bike.  I get out and follow him inside his house.  He carries Emma upstairs into a room with a huge King size bed in it.  Once she is in the bed he leads me outside onto his back deck overlooking his pool and nice size back yard.  Handing me a beer, he sits down a crossed from me and gazes off into the distance. 

              Not liking the silence anymore. I decide I will speak first.  “Your house is beautiful.  Very big.”  I say looking back at it.

              He just shakes his head yes.  Not saying anything and not even looking at me.  Just fixated on his pool.  Wanting to get it over with I decide to jump right in.  “Toni you wanted to talk.  Well here I am.  Let’s talk.”

              “Why?”  Is all he says turning and looking at me.

              Confused by his question.  “Why what?”

              “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

              “I was going to.  But then your lovely wife showed up and well yeah why waste time on someone who clearly lies to get what he wants.  And honestly you told me so many times you would never be a dad.” 

              “Maybe I would have changed my mind.  Maybe I would have saw how stupid all that was and been there since she was born.” 

              Looking at my beer bottle.  Feeling guilty for not telling him.  “Do you honestly believe that.  Can you tell me deep down if would have known about her back then that you would have stepped up?  That you would have been excited to have her.  Can you honestly tell me that you wouldn’t have tried to talk me into getting an abortion?” He just sits there processing all I have said.  Not saying anything just looking at me with so much sadness in his eyes. “Toni we talked so much about how you did not want kids.  I have even heard you say spending the $100 dollars on an abortion is worth every penny instead of stuck with a damn kid your entire life.  Honestly what the hell did you expect me to do.”  I say crossing my arms over my chest. 

              “Honestly what I expected you to do was tell me.  I get why you didn’t but still.  Every man has a right to know they have a kid out there.”  He says raising his voice. 

              “Even if he doesn’t want that kid?” 

              “Yes.  Even at that moment he doesn’t want to have a kid.  You had no right to keep her from me.” 

              “You could have looked for me.  Hell Toni for all I knew you were living a happy little life with your wife you lied about.”

              He stands up, towering over me, he yells “I did look for you.  I looked for you every god damn day.”

              I chuckle.  I know not the right time but I find this funny. “Well obviously you didn’t do a very good job.  I wasn’t hiding.  If you wanted to find me, you could have.  Hell Vera did.  Fucking bitch.”  I mumble quietly.

              “WHAT!”  He yells.

              “About 2 months after I moved to Portland she confronted me on campus.  Told me that it was in my best interest to stay away from you, never return to San Diego, and to understand that you were her husband and all I was, was a club whore.  And that I wasn’t your first club whore you played.  Honestly I laughed in her face.  Reminded her that she found me in an entirely different state and that I wanted nothing to do with a lying cheating asshole.  Told her that she could carry her trashy ass back to her fucked up husband and leave me the hell alone.  Then I pushed her out of the way and never heard from her again.” 

              “Does she know about Emma?” 

              I shrug my shoulders.  “No idea.  Don’t know how she would.  I wasn’t really showing when she confronted me and besides she thinks I am a club whore.  So no telling who Emma’s daddy is right.”  Yeah I know I am going to piss him off with that but honestly I don’t care. 

              “You were never a club whore.”  He growls.  “And Haylee I looked for you.” Looking down at his hands “Honestly I searched everywhere for you.  I even had one of our techy guys searching all databases that he watches to see if your name popped up anywhere ever but he always came back and told me you were off the grid or he couldn’t find anything on you.  I had him working so much that for the first 2 years he was to report to me every week with updates.  But tonight I found out that Tank paid him off and all the shit he was leading me was false.  Made shit up.  So yes Haylee when I say I was looking for you, honestly I truly was.  Just trusted the wrong people to help me.”