Antigoddess (21 page)

His adopted mother. The mother who was thousands of years too late to be his real mother. He’d never thought of her that way before. She’d always been Gloria, the woman who loved him enough to call him her son. And Ernie was always just his dad. But everything was coming unraveled. The way that Cassandra had looked at them through the window that day; he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

There wasn’t much time left. He’d fought against believing it ever since Cassandra’s visions had started. But denial didn’t do anyone any good. Not even a god. Especially not a god, when Athena was on her way. A fight was coming to him, and he had no idea whether he could win, no matter what he said to the contrary.

He looked down at his clenched fists. For the first time, they seemed pathetically weak. Maybe he’d been hiding for too long, passing as a human when he was anything but. He used to be one of the strongest gods to walk on Olympus: the god of the sun, the god of prophecy and the arts. But he was out of practice. Not so long ago, he would have had that little rat Hermes skewered and roasting over a pit with a snap of his fingers. He flexed his fists again. Maybe he really was growing weaker. Maybe he hadn’t escaped the curse that was killing the others after all.

“You’re not thinking of taking her away from here, are you?”

Aidan turned, ready to rip Hermes in half, but his anger dissipated as quickly as it came. It wouldn’t have been possible anyway. Hermes peeked out from behind another pine, his legs loaded on springs. If Aidan so much as pulled his fist back Hermes would run, too fast and too far to ever be caught.

“It would be a waste of time,” Hermes warned. “And she wouldn’t be safe.”

Aidan smiled ruefully. “Is she safe here?”

“She’s not safe anywhere.”

He looked at Hermes. The god of thieves had changed over the centuries, but not much. He wore his hair shorter, and he dressed like he’d fallen out of a Hilfiger catalog. And he was thin, so painfully thin. The kind of thin that eventually killed you. But the mischievous light in his eyes was familiar and so was the curve of his mouth. The stance too, edgy and tense, was so much the same that he might as well have had wings on his feet.

“You look like shit,” said Aidan, and Hermes smirked.

“You’re one to talk. What are you supposed to be, anyway? A seventeen-year-old Bela Lugosi?”

Aidan pulled the cape off his shoulders. It did seem ridiculous now, standing before his eternal half brother. Like playing at children’s games. “I’m sorry I tried to kill you.” He looked up in time to see Hermes’ quick shrug. “But you can’t have her.”

Hermes crossed his arms. “I think Athena’s going to have a different opinion.”

Aidan clenched his jaw. Athena. Always proud and haughty, always Daddy’s favorite. She was used to being strong and getting what she wanted. But the gods were dying. He knew that much. If Hermes was any indication, Athena would be weaker than she used to be. She’d be fading. He wondered what her death was, whether it made her angry, or crazy, or both.

“I’ll fight you,” Aidan said quietly. “I’ll fight you with everything I can.”

Hermes nodded, considering. “You know, Apollo,” he said finally, “Athena would like to save you. But if you make it come down to a choice between her survival and yours, I think we both know which way it’s going to go.”

Aidan looked down. Resignation weighed on his shoulders. The stance felt unnatural. The god of the sun should never hang his head.

“What’s it like?” Hermes asked. “Living with them? Loving one of them? It’s been quite a while, for me.”

Aidan smiled a small, regretful smile. “It’s amazing. I never thought anything would matter as much as she does. Just one mortal girl.”

“One mortal girl,” Hermes repeated.

“Hermes.”

“Yeah?”

“Please leave us alone. I’m asking you, if we ever really were brothers. Get her to stay away.”

Hermes blinked. For a minute Aidan thought it had worked. That hearing him beg and say they were family had shocked Hermes into compliance.

Hermes sighed.

“We are brothers,” he said gently. “So I hope you’ll believe me when I tell you that I wish that was a choice we had.”

A soft rush of air passed Aidan’s cheeks. When he looked up at the tree, Hermes was gone.

12

WHAT HAPPENS ON THE ROAD

“Shouldn’t we leave this thing somewhere farther off the beaten path?”

Athena looked over her shoulder at the silver Taurus. It stared back sadly, like a dog being left at the pound, parked in the rear of the lot of the travel plaza just outside of South Bend, Indiana. She shrugged.

“Well, shouldn’t we take the plates off or something?”

“Don’t see why.” Athena shrugged again. “We’re going to be long gone before anybody finds it, and the trucker probably didn’t get the plate number anyway.”

“You’re wrong there,” Odysseus said as they walked. “He was probably on the radio as soon as we started swerving over the lines.”

“What are you worried for? We’ve already crossed a state line, and the car was probably stolen in the first place. They can’t tie it to us, and even if they could, we’ll have disappeared. We don’t have time for this. Let’s just get something to eat and catch a ride to New York.”

Odysseus sighed and shut up, and Athena looked at the travel plaza. It was made up of a Shell gas station-slash-souvenir shop, a very large set of restrooms, a McDonald’s, and a Dunkin’ Donuts. Both of the restaurants were greasy. One was greasy and sweet. She pulled open the main door and looked in both directions. The whole place smelled like hot oil and diesel fuel.

“You go to one and I’ll go to the other. Grab some food and try to find us a ride. Preferably a trucker.”

“Why a trucker?”

“They’ll be going farther and they usually have a sleeper in the cab. You have money, don’t you?”

Odysseus nodded and pulled out his wallet. He gave her a ten and headed toward Dunkin’ Donuts. Athena walked into the McDonald’s side. There was a short line and a few of the people waiting were truck drivers, men with cheap ball caps, thin legs, and blue jeans pulled over cowboy boots. She glanced down at herself. She looked like total shit; if not like a criminal then at least like a runaway who’d had a rough couple of days. She buttoned her cardigan up as far as it would go to cover the bloodstains. The tears in her jeans might at least pass for a fashion statement.

When she got in line, she made sure to smile and nod at the guy in front of her. He was thirtysomething, with a goatee and mustache and a long, black mullet hanging down from his baseball cap. She checked the logo: New York Yankees. She smiled again; he turned around.

“You look like you’ve been on the road awhile,” he said with a nod to her clothes.

“Yeah,” she replied. “There was a sort of mix-up with my ride. A difference of opinion.”

He nodded and gave her an understanding smile.

“I wound up losing all of my bags. It’s been kind of a nightmare.”

“Well,” he said, and glanced up at the plastic, backlit menu. “To ease the blow, how about I buy you some lunch?”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t,” Athena replied. The restaurant had just switched over from serving breakfast and the smell of rubbery, overcooked eggs and cheese mingled with the grease of burgers. The smell was thick enough to coat her skin. She should have gone to Dunkin’ Donuts. As she opened her mouth to ask for a ride rather than lunch, Odysseus grabbed her by the elbow.

“Hey,” he said around a mouthful of chicken Parmesan flatbread. “I found us a ride.” He waved to the guy she’d been talking to, then looked at her. “Do you want to get food from here? I got an extra sandwich and some donut holes. We’re supposed to meet him in the lot. He drives a red Freightliner.”

*   *   *

“That was fast,” Athena said as they walked to the idling truck. Odysseus grinned. He always worked fast. Fast and clever. He opened the white paper bag. She fished out a donut hole and rolled it between her fingers, leaving a circular trail of sugar. She hadn’t eaten in a day, nothing at all except those few blackberries at The Three Sisters. She popped the donut into her mouth and it enlivened her taste buds. Her stomach rumbled, and she eyed the paper sack hungrily. He’d said something about an extra sandwich.

Odysseus waved at the driver through the window of the truck. He was older than the driver Athena had talked to, by a lot. His hair was gray, and he was heavy, maybe 260 pounds and still gaining. The buttons of his shirt looked like they were under extreme pressure. He smiled as they opened the door and climbed into the cab. Odysseus introduced her and she shook the driver’s hand. His name was Craig Melville, and he was doing a run from Minneapolis, with drops in Toledo and Buffalo. He could take them as far as that. After Buffalo, he’d drop his trailer and head for his home in Pennsylvania.

“Thanks again for the ride,” said Odysseus, and then, to Athena, “I told him what a jumble it’s been. He couldn’t believe that Jimmy actually got mad enough to leave us behind. But he doesn’t know Jimmy. Crazy bloke. I told you we shouldn’t have ridden back up to school with him.”

Athena smiled at Craig. “Well, I never thought he’d leave us either. I just hope he doesn’t throw our stuff out of the car before he gets to campus.”

Odysseus grinned. The lie came together naturally and nostalgia hit her in a warm wave. Side by side they were devious and slick.

“I wouldn’t worry about anything.” Craig checked his mirrors and situated his coffee thermos. “I’ve had plenty of crazy friends, and they always turn out right in the end. He’ll probably be damn sorry, the next time you see him.” He put the truck into gear and it jerked forward. He seemed nice enough. He told them about a few of his “crazy” friends; Athena listened and smiled while she ate the ham and cheese flatbread Odysseus had bought. While she chewed, weariness began to sink in again. The truck was nice and clean, and there was a sleeper in the back. She was about to ask Craig if she could use it when he tapped her on the knee.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You both look exhausted. Why don’t you sneak in the back and get some sleep? You’ll have plenty of time to keep me company after we get through Toledo.”

“Thank you,” she said, and was surprised by how much she meant it. It would have been nice to have something to give him in return, something more than a lie and polite conversation. She reached out for his hand. “You’re a very nice man, Craig,” she said. “I hope you have a lot of prosperity and good health.” Craig grinned, and they shook. When they touched, she thought she felt something small pass between them, some slight bit of warmth and electricity, moving from her skin into his.

Of course she might have imagined it. The blessing of a dying goddess probably wasn’t worth much. But at least she’d tried.

Odysseus held back the curtain between the cab and the sleeper. She lumbered into the back and sat down heavily on the small bed.

“Just give a shout if you want us to chip in for gas, or snacks or something,” Odysseus told Craig, then closed the curtain and sat down on the bunk.

“Should we talk now?” he asked softly. Whispering wasn’t necessary. Craig had turned on the strains of an oldies station, and the engine noise from the truck covered their voices well.

Athena sighed. “I’m exhausted. And what you’re going to tell me … I have a feeling is going to keep me up.”
I don’t have time to be sleeping. I should make him talk now, so I can think of what to do next. I should make him talk now so I can dream battle plans, for fuck’s sake.
Her mind’s arguments were weak. The soft bed spoke much louder.

“It can wait. We’ve got a long ride ahead.” Odysseus’ tender voice soothed her ears. But the concern on his face edged too close to pity.

He’s losing faith in my strength. I’m messing everything up. I can’t protect him. I have to be stronger, faster. I will be, as soon as I get some rest.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you,” Odysseus said. “You don’t deserve it. Of all the gods on that damned hilltop, all of those vain, stupid prigs, you don’t deserve it. You never did.”

It hurt her heart that he gave her so much credit. She wasn’t something to be worshipped; she was something to be contended with. Everything that had gone wrong in his old life could have been blamed on her, or on some twisted member of her family. What did it matter if she tried to fix it? Fixing it was her responsibility. It had been then, and it still was now.

She watched him as he moved down to the floor of the sleeper, as he rolled up a sweatshirt from his bag for a pillow. This was the most time they had ever spent together all at once. In the old days, there had been more to her existence, things for her to do, and she’d dropped in on him only when she was needed. But she’d always watched. She had always made sure he was safe.

Will I fail this time? Will I finally have to watch him die, not in his bed an old man but young, and soon, and painfully?

Her tongue found the slowly healing wound on the roof of her mouth and twisted into it. Bitter tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.

Without thinking, she reached down and put her hand on his arm. He jumped at the touch before letting himself be pulled up onto the bed.

It felt strangely natural, even though she had never in her long, long life slept beside a man. It went against everything her father had created her to be. And she’d never wanted it, until now.

Odysseus lay down uncertainly. He kept his eyes on her until his head hit the pillow and released his breath in a slow, nervous shudder. She felt his heartbeat, and heard it, fast and strong in his chest. Words were there, between them, but they went unspoken. It was only moments before they were both deeply asleep.

*   *   *

When Athena woke, the truck was stopped, and the engine turned off. Something had jolted her awake. She waited and felt a soft jerk from somewhere behind them. It was the movement of the trailer, pulling the truck back as it was unloaded. That meant they were already in Toledo.

Athena looked around in the dimness. Only two shafts of light cut through a gap in the faux leather curtain dividing the sleeper from the cab, and even that light was gray. The weather must’ve turned overcast while they slept.