Anticipation (2 page)

“I’ll carry ’em out for you, Deidre.”

Jonas’ serious eyes locked with hers. Without his hat shadowing his face, his eyes appeared a deeper blue than she remembered, more stormy and turbulent. No longer crew cut, his coal black hair had a wave to it that just begged to be touched. Slight changes for sure, but her pulse still raced like it had ten years ago.

“Um, thanks.” She waved to Sally as she turned to walk out of the store.

“Bye, you two,” Sally called out. As they walked away, Deidre caught the woman’s “thumbs up” signal out of the corner of her eye.

When Jonas started to turn and say goodbye to Sally, Deidre’s heart jerked. He didn’t need to know they were talking about him. She grasped his elbow and tugged him out of the store. “How’s your day been?”

“Sally been trying to set me up again?” The corners of his mouth turned up a little as he followed her outside.

Disappointment settled in her stomach at the amusement in his voice. This was a common occurrence, apparently. He didn’t need to know it bothered her. She came to a halt next to her dark blue rental car and stuck out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. “And here I thought I was special.”

He leaned close enough that she could smell his aftershave. God, he smelled good—spicy, musky and all male. His imposing frame blocked out the sun, dwarfing her own five-foot-nine-inch height. He might’ve gone through some rough times, but Jonas’ charisma had magnified a hundredfold over the years. With a mere glance, he caused her body to heat in instant response.

Handing her the bag of groceries, he said in a low voice, “You’ve always been special,” before he headed toward his police car. Once he reached the vehicle, he opened the door and called across the parking lot, “Do you still make those oatmeal chocolate chip cookies?”

She nodded. “I’ve tweaked the recipe a half dozen times since I graduated from culinary school.”

His dark eyebrow rose. “I liked the original version. I’ll stop by and check on you tonight.”

When he drove past, his gaze locked with hers for a brief second, causing Deidre’s skin to prickle. I liked the original version. The way he’d looked at her when he drove past made her wonder if he was taking about cookies with that comment.

She’d never been more aware of a man and her reaction to his presence than she was of Jonas Mendez. No man had ever come close to affecting her the way he did. From his smoldering gaze to his magnetic heat, he made her breasts ache, her stomach tighten and her breath hitch whenever he came close. Did he sense it? The crinkle of the paper bag underneath her fingers pulled her out of the seductive haze Jonas had created the moment he invaded her personal space.

After she opened her car door and set the groceries in the passenger seat, Deidre sat with a heavy sigh and acknowledged that her emotional response was part of her problem. Since she’d never been with Jonas, she wondered if she’d subconsciously built him up and put him on a pedestal, leaving the other men she’d dated lacking in many ways. Could her imagination be that cruel?

After she caught Jeremy kissing his co-worker, she’d kicked his sorry ass out. He’d begged forgiveness and said he wasn’t perfect—that people make mistakes. Did she expect perfection? All she knew was she wanted the same wonderful, trusting marriage her parents had. She never planned to accept anything less for herself.

Squaring her shoulders to ward off the bitter memory, she put the key in the ignition and started her rental car with a determined twist of her wrist.

And now Jonas was a free man.

“I’ll stop by tonight to check on you,” he’d said.

Excitement coiled within her as she backed out of the parking space.

* * *

Deidre smoothed her knee-length, pale-yellow linen sundress then opened the front door, intending to let the summer breeze blow through the screen door as she fixed a batch of fresh oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. Of course Snowball chose that moment to squeeze past her legs and bolt outside.

“Snowball!” Deidre’s sandal heels clicked across the porch’s wooden floorboards and down the stairs.

The cat meowed and took off toward the barn. As Deidre made her way across the pebbled lot, her shoes turned this way and that with the rocks’ movement. Rock dust stirred over her bare toes, dulling the shine of her newly polished toenails. Annoyance surged, along with fear for the indoor cat’s safety. “My parents will kill me if anything happens to you. Come back, you silly cat! I have to start baking.”

Snowball never even looked back. Instead, his white tail disappeared through the old barn’s partially opened door.

Deidre blew out an irritated breath and trekked the rest of the way to the barn with determined steps. She knew the cat was mousing.

Sliding the creaky door fully open, she peered into the barn’s dim interior. “Snowball. Stop this nonsense.”

As she walked inside, a light, bouncing sound above her head told her Snowball had already made his way up the wooden ladder and was in the upper loft.

She approached the ladder and stared up the length, knowing full well there was only one way he was coming back down…by being carried.

Kicking off her sandals, she put her hands on the ladder and stepped on the first rung. “Mom and Dad said they wanted to keep you forever. I’m thinking taxidermy might be a great option at the moment.”

When nothing but silence greeted her, she let out a heavy sigh and began to climb.

* * *

Jonas drove up to the Flying Wind Bed and Breakfast, tense anticipation flowing through him. After he’d seen Deidre earlier, the rest of his day moved so slow he could’ve sworn the clock’s hands moved backward at a couple points. Usually he was so lost in his work he stayed late and didn’t leave until his stomach started rumbling. Today, he couldn’t wait until his watch read six o’clock. Pulling to a stop in front of the B&B, he cut the engine.

Disappointment tightened his chest when he didn’t see Deidre’s smiling face and gorgeous long blonde hair appear in the doorway. Behind the screen door he could see the front door was open. Maybe she was in the kitchen and hadn’t heard him drive up.

He opened his door and unfolded his tall frame from his car. As he walked up the steps, he wondered if he should’ve changed clothes first. No, that would make this trip appear premeditated. Yet only God and he knew his motivations for checking on the Nelsons’ house weren’t entirely altruistic. Ever since Glen and Dot Nelson told him their daughter was going to watch their home for them while they were on vacation, Deidre had invaded his thoughts.

“Deidre,” he called through the screen door as he rapped on the whitewashed wooden frame.

Nothing. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up.

So far the vandalism at the B&B had consisted of spray painted walls, some stolen equipment and a broken window. One goat had almost died. He knew goats would eat just about anything, but…

Jonas reached for the automatic weapon clipped to his hip. As he slowly pulled open the screen door, Deidre’s frustrated voice reached him from a distance. He turned in the direction, tightening his fingers on the gun’s grip. She sounded as if she were outside somewhere. His senses on high alert, he closed the door and listened.

Deidre called out once more, sending him running in the direction of the barn. Gravel crunched and scattered under his boots as he ate up the distance in record time, his pulse racing.

Once he entered the barn and his gaze landed on the lone pair of woman’s sandals sitting at the bottom of the ladder, Jonas’ heart skipped several beats.

“Deidre.” Deep concern made his tone harsher than he’d intended.

“I’m up here.”

His tight shoulders relaxed at her casual tone. He tracked her movement above him by the bits of hay dust that fell through the space between the boards. When the floorboards over his head made an eerie creak, his sense of calm evaporated once more.

“Get down from there. There’s a reason your parents built a new barn. This one’s not safe.”

“I have to get Snowball. Be down in a sec,” she called out right before he heard a heavy thump and a triumphant, “Gotcha!”

A distinct snapping sound accompanied the thick billow of hay dust from above, causing Jonas’ gut to tense. When Deidre screamed, he moved with lightning speed beneath her position on the weak wood.

The floor gave way and splintered boards rained down on his head. Jonas took Deidre’s full weight with her fall, catching her in his arms. Her momentum sent them both to the barn’s ground floor amid broken planks and onto an old bed of hay.

Jonas got a mouthful of cat fur before Deidre scooped up the animal and stared at him in wide-eyed shock. Gripping the cat tight to her chest, she panted. Her gaze darted between the hole in the ceiling and back to him several times before she seemed to catch her bearings. “Sheesh, my stomach went straight to my throat. That was close!”

As he pushed a broken floorboard off her lap, Jonas took shallow breaths himself. He felt as if the air had been knocked clear out of his lungs, and the sensation wasn’t due to having Deidre land on him. The woman had thrown him a sucker punch with one look from her gorgeous green eyes.

Her long, light brown lashes blinked several times before she regained her composure and gave him a shaky smile. “Well, I did tell you I’d be down in a second.”

He chuckled at her quick wit despite the scary fall. “Yeah, darlin’, but this wasn’t the way I expected you to make your entrance.”

“Um, thanks for rescuing me, Sheriff.” She squirmed to get out of his arms and stood, her cheeks turning an endearing shade of crimson.

Jonas’ body had ignited in swift awareness at their brief contract. He missed her sweet pear-blossom smell and warm softness already. As he moved to a standing position, he pulled a piece of hay from her hair. “It’s Jonas, remember?”

They stared at each other. Remember? Was he asking her to remember they were on a first-name basis the last time they’d seen each other, or the unspoken attraction between them?

Her body tingled and her bra suddenly chaffed her sensitive nipples. Not to mention the persistent ache that hadn’t let up between her thighs since she woke this morning. What she felt for this man had quadrupled in intensity compared to her response to him in the past.

Life’s experiences—the good and the bad—had a funny way of instilling steadfast certainty beyond a shadow of a doubt. She knew exactly what she did and didn’t want in a man. She’d held onto that evocative memory of Jonas in the woods all these years, not just because she couldn’t forget him, but because he’d made her believe there were still a few good men left in the world.“I remember.” Her voice sounded breathless, husky.

He stepped closer and reached out to cup the back of her neck. Warm fingers massaged the sensitive curve of skin as his thumb traced along her jaw in a slow, seductive caress. “Do you?”

His steady gaze bored into hers, analyzing, measuring her. He’d never stared at her in such a calculating way before…as if he were trying to decipher her very thoughts and motivations.

Deidre didn’t speak. She couldn’t. The man had her so caught up, all she could do was return his intense perusal.

He bent closer, his lips a mere half inch from hers.

She lifted her chin, anticipating, craving his kiss…desperate to know.

“I’m not the same person I was back then.” He sounded almost apologetic.

“Is that person completely gone then?” Her insides melted at his nearness, his scent and the masculine virility he naturally exuded without any effort.

Heat flared in his eyes, then his expression shifted to a closed one and he took a step back as if needing to put distance between them. Before she could ask what was wrong, the cat began to squirm in her arms. Damn, how could she have forgotten about Snowball? The fall must’ve scared the cat into temporary passiveness.

Clamping her arms tight around the moving ball of fur, she knew the intense, seductive moment had shattered. She glanced down at the cat, seeking a diversion. “Come on you ornery feline. Let’s get you inside.”

Jonas gathered her shoes and followed her out of the barn. Pebbles poked at her feet as she stepped carefully across the driveway and up the B&B stairs to the front door.

Without looking back, she wiped her dusty feet on the doormat and entered the house. As she took her time carrying Snowball down the hall and then shutting him inside her parents’ bedroom, Deidre swallowed several times to calm her raging libido. She needed to get control of her emotions. No matter their attraction in the past, Jonas had pretty much just rejected her, for Pete’s sake.

But it wasn’t just her attraction to him that surprised her, she admitted while heading back down the hall toward the front of the house. The lump that formed in her throat at his sudden mood change concerned her. His withdrawal hurt more than it should have.

She straightened her spine, squared her shoulders and pasted on a lighthearted smile in an effort to regain control. The Jonas of her past was an ideal she’d wanted to believe in…a fantasy she’d dreamed of exploring. Nothing more. But this Jonas had turned out to have more layers than she’d expected—layers that made her want to strip them away to find the true man lurking deep inside. She had a feeling from his shuttered expression earlier, Jonas didn’t want to be seen.

“Come on in,” she said through the screen door before she turned and headed to the kitchen.

Jonas’ boots thudded on the wood floor behind her, but she refused to turn around. Instead, she passed the long, twelve-seater table and walked through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

Pouring flour into a measuring cup, she called out in a louder voice, “Since you’ve stopped by to check on me, the least I can do is offer you some fresh baked cookies.” As she bent to retrieve a couple of bowls from underneath the counter, she noticed her dust covered feet and said in a lower voice, “Then I can rinse my dirty feet.”

“Then the least I can do is stay for a bit.”

Jonas’ amused voice sounded so close, she quickly straightened and turned in surprise.

He sat at the small café table in the kitchen, his long legs stretched out in front of him.

She hadn’t expected him to follow her into her “space”. Deidre set the bowls down and picked up the cooking spoon. “Only cooks are allowed in the kitchen. Unless you’re helping, scoot.”

“Well then…” Jonas grinned and set his hat on the table.

When he began to roll up his sleeves, Deidre stared at him. “You’re helping?” Sheesh, did that really come out in a squeak?

Jonas moved into her personal space, his broad frame making the kitchen feel very small. “You made the rules.” Reaching around her, he picked up the bag of chocolate chips. “Now where’s the sugar?”

Deidre rapped his hand with the spoon. “Oh, no you don’t. If you’re going to help, we’re doing this in order.”

Jonas gave her a devilish grin as he pulled open the bag of chocolate chips. “No worries, Chef Nelson. I’m just here to sample the wares,” he said before popping a handful of the chips into his mouth.

Sample the wares. Was that a double entendre? Man, she couldn’t tell. Taking the bag from him, she set it on the counter. “If you eat all the ingredients, we’ll just have oatmeal cookies, Sher—”

Before she could finish, he stepped close and popped a chocolate chip into her mouth. “Who can resist sampling?”

As she chewed that tiny piece of dark chocolate, the rich flavor burst in her mouth. With Jonas standing so close, dishing out sexy food phrases, the term “decadent dessert” took on a whole new meaning.

Deidre swallowed the chocolate and took a step back to clear her head. Grabbing an empty bowl, she shoved it into his hands. “Eggs. Yeah, we need air…er, eggs. Can you go collect a few from the coop?”

Jonas chuckled and turned to retrieve his hat. “Eggs. Coming right up,” he said as he plunked his cowboy hat on his head and walked through the swinging doors.

The moment Jonas exited the room, Deidre poured all the dry ingredients into a bowl and set it aside. Then she quickly readied the butter and sugar in another bowl so all she had to do was drop in the eggs once Jonas returned. If she let him “help” her, her nerves would be shot. The man’s presence always knocked her off-kilter. She’d be a bumbling idiot in the kitchen—the one area of her life where she’d always been very confident and successful.

As she was stirring the butter, Jonas leaned across her body to set the bowl of eggs on the counter. Her stirring hand froze and butterflies scattered in her stomach.

“What am I supposed to do? Looks like you’re almost done,” he whispered next to her ear.

I could give you plenty of ideas if you’d give me some indication, cowboy. Chill bumps formed on her arms, raising the tiny blonde hairs. She set the spoon down and grabbed a couple of eggs. Breaking them on the bowl, she tried to sound airy as she began to stir vigorously. “Have a seat. I’m almost done.”

Jonas placed his hands on either side of the counter, trapping her where she stood. “Why is this the first time you’ve come back to Ventura?”

Deidre’s pulse rushed in her ears, but she continued to stir as if he wasn’t affecting every single nerve ending in her body. She paused her stirring. “My work was in New York and my parents liked the chance to travel, so I invited them there on the holidays. There’s always stuff to do in the city.”

He moved closer. “You didn’t ever wish to get away from the city hustle and bustle to wide open spaces? You never craved these gorgeous views?”

I’ve craved one certain gorgeous view…too many times to count.

“I remember a young girl who loved everything ‘Texas’, who ran out in a fierce storm and had to be hauled back inside for her own good. If you’ve outgrown all that, why come back now?”

His masculine smell, combined with the sugary cookie dough aroma, turned her insides to mush.

She didn’t understand why he’d walked away from her in the barn earlier, but she wasn’t opening up herself for another round of hurt by telling him the whole reason she’d left. “My parents have always done everything for me, given me everything I’ve always wanted. I knew I had a job waiting for me here if I wanted it, but I needed to prove to myself I could be successful on my own. I did well, and becoming a food critic helped fund my parents’ trips to New York every year, but when they asked me to watch the B&B so they could go on vacation without worries, I saw this as something they needed me for. I was finally able to do something to repay them for all they’ve done for me, so I came back.”

Instead of responding to her explanation, he reached into the bowl and swiped up some of the dough with his finger. “Do they teach restraint in culinary school?”

His question caught her off guard. “Why?”

“How can you resist not taking a taste?” he replied as he lifted his finger from the bowl, ready to take a bite.

Before the batter could make it to his mouth, Deidre caught his finger with her lips and sucked the cookie dough off the tip. Once she swallowed the sweet dough, she slowly slid her lips across his finger and then began stirring once more as if she hadn’t just cock teased the man. “I just need the right incentive to take a nibble.”

Jonas’ hand landed on her hip. His fingers gripped her firmly. “Deidre, I—”

When he stopped himself, then took the bowl out of her hands and set in on the counter, murmuring, “The cookies can wait,” Deidre didn’t know what to think. Yes, she’d been brazen, teasing him like that, but Jonas was sending out very confusing signals.

Deidre let him lead her to the straight back chair next to the table. When he sat her down and turned to fill an empty bowl with water, she just stared in confusion.

She was surprised when he lowered himself to one knee and put the bowl of water on the floor next to her feet. Her pensive gaze tracked his sexy, hard-working hands as he withdrew a white handkerchief from his pants’ pocket and dipped the cloth in the water, his movements measured and precise.

The tense silence between them was killing her. “What are you doing?”

Instead of replying, his warm fingers wrapped around her left ankle and his gaze locked with hers, steady and sure.

Totally perplexed, she let him lift her foot above the bowl. When he glanced at her foot and began to wipe the warm wet cloth along her skin, bathing away the gravel dust, a lump clogged her throat at the personal, almost reverent act.

Tears formed as her emotions rushed to the surface once more. Blinking back the wetness, she swallowed hard and tried to keep her voice from shaking. “In the barn, you backed away from me. I don’t understand.”

“Let it be, Deidre.”

His voice was harsh, cold…almost angry, but his touch told a different story. While one hand gently bathed away the dirt, the other massaged her calf in a seductive caress, as if he couldn’t stop himself from touching her.

The man baffled her. She knew about his past…a past that she was certain caused a lot of hurt, but she’d endured her share of failures in relationships, too. If he didn’t want to talk, but instead wanted his hands to speak for him, then so be it. For now.

When he began to work on her other foot, her gaze scanned his crisp white shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. She acknowledged how much his sheriff’s shirt and black pants, combined with the sight of his gun strapped to his hip, turned her on. Yet there was one thing she’d wanted to do since she’d seen him yesterday. Pulling off his cowboy hat, she tossed it on the table.

He paused for a second, but he didn’t look up as he resumed his ministrations. Her heart swelled when his hands began to massage the curve of her calf. From the top of his black-as-sin hair to the tips of his cowboy boots, he might be a sheriff now, but he was still her cowboy. Goose bumps formed on her skin as her gaze focused on his short, dark hair. Thoughts of running her fingers through the thick, slightly wavy mass flashed through her mind.

He moved the bowl out of the way and his hands slid upward, pushing her skirt past her knees. When he spread his palms across the outside of her thighs, Deidre’s breath hitched. She gave in to the urge and ran her hands through his hair, enjoying the thick silk bending around her fingers.

At her touch, Jonas’ fingers gripped her skin in a possessive hold. His warm breath bathed her inner thighs as he ran his hands up her hips to grip her buttocks. The moist sensation of his warm breathing brushing the top of her thighs, so close yet so distant, only made her body pound for more.

Jonas set his other knee on the floor and finally spoke, his voice gravely and low. “Let me cherish you the best way I can.”

The torture and anguish in his tone burrowed deep in her heart, unlocking more than a physical response…so much more. Deidre bit back the swift desire to wish for more from him. No matter how strongly she felt for him, his words told her he wasn’t capable of giving on an emotional level.

In answer, she relaxed her thighs and gripped his shoulders. Gathering him close, she kissed the top of his head.

Tension eased from his shoulders at the same time he slid her short skirt even higher. The glide of the soft material against her skin, flanked by the heat from his palms, sent tiny tremors skittering through her body. Silence echoed around them, punctuated by an occasional faint naaaa of the goats through the open kitchen window.

Jonas bent to place a tender kiss on her inner thigh and Deidre’s pulse stuttered at the surreal moment. No amount of fantasizing had ever come close to the barrage of sensations his real-life action elicited within her. Her heart thumped and her belly tensed with skittish butterflies. Heat radiated from that one kiss and her skin tingled when the next one, wetter, hotter and more tender than the last, moved higher.

Her tense muscles began to relax, like a bowl of butter heated to its melting point. An unbidden moan rushed past her lips, so very primal it surprised her.

“Jonas,” she murmured.

His mouth moved higher and he nipped at the curve where her inner thigh met her body. “Say it again, darlin’, just like that. The need in your voice…damn, it makes me throb.”

His fingers gripped her buttocks harder and he pulled her body forward, placing an open-mouthed kiss over her cloth-covered sex.

Deidre jerked at the deeply intimate act, keening in ecstasy. The combination of his hot, moist mouth sending heat through her underwear was the sexiest turn on she’d ever experienced. Her heart jack-hammered hard against her chest, making her pant to keep up with its erratic pace.

“I want to hear it, Deidre.” He ran his teeth across her clit then let out a low moan of his own before he nipped at the fleshy top of her mound.

His love bite sent an erotic shudder of excitement jolting through her. Her fingers twisted in his hair and her head fell back against the chair as she called his name in an intense cry of need.

In answer, he ran his tongue along the underwear, softly at first and then more insistently. Finally he thrust against the thin material, slightly penetrating her entrance.