Answered Prayers (14 page)

She made dinner for Alex after that. He never mentioned her plans again, or asked her about them. He was quiet that night, read his papers at the dinner table, and mentioned before he left the table that he was going to Los Angeles that week. He was leaving on Tuesday and would be gone for four days. He didn't tell her much about the trip, but assured her that he'd be back on Saturday, in time to attend a Christmas party they went to every year. Faith didn't question him, she just acknowledged what he'd said. She didn't want to rock the boat, and spoil the progress she'd made. She was in her study that night when an e-mail came in from Brad.

“I was playing tennis when your e-mail came in. Sorry, Fred. Bravo!! What did you do to him? What did you have to give up in order to get what you want, or would I rather not know? In any case, I'm happy for you!! Great news!! Can't wait to see you this week. I'll be in on Wednesday night, and out again Friday afternoon. Can you make dinner Wednesday night? I might be able to do Thursday night too. Won't know till I see the final schedule for the conference. I'll let you know as soon as I do. I'll call as soon as I get to the hotel. My flight gets in at five. I should be at the hotel after six. See you soon. Congrats again! I'm proud of you, Fred. Love, Brad.” He was always warm and supportive, and she couldn't wait to see him. It had worked out perfectly that Alex was going to be away. She wasn't hiding seeing Brad from him, but it would have been harder to be flexible about time to spend with Brad, if Alex had been in town. His trip to L.A. had been perfectly timed.

She was madly busy for the next few days, and let the benefit committee know that she would only be available to work until mid-January, and after that, she would have to quit. They were understanding about it, and she spent a day in their offices. And another day Christmas shopping. Zoe was coming home that weekend, right after Brad left. It was going to be a hectic week. And she was planning to buy the Christmas tree with her. She wasn't sure yet when Ellie was coming home. She had been vague so far about dates. And on Tuesday night, she called home. It was nearly midnight for Faith, and early morning for her, before she went to work.

“Hi, sweetheart, what a nice surprise.” Faith hadn't told her yet about getting into school. She'd been saving it till Ellie got home.

“I hope I didn't wake you up,” Eloise said cautiously.

“Nope. I was just finishing our Christmas cards.” She'd gotten a great photograph of the four of them the previous summer, on a sailboat off Cape Cod, and had used it as their Christmas card. She sent photographs of them every year, but it was getting harder and harder to get them all together. She was grateful she had this one. “When are you coming home?”

There was a brief pause. “I… uh …” Faith's heart sank as she heard the words. “I wanted to talk to you about something. I didn't know how you'd feel. I've been invited to go skiing in Saint Moritz.” Anxiety and guilt dripped from her voice. Faith knew her daughter well.

“That sounds like fun. Pretty fancy doings. Anyone I know?”

“Geoff's parents rent a chalet there every year, and he invited me to go.” Geoffrey was the boy she'd been dating for three months. Faith didn't think it was serious, at least Ellie hadn't said it was, but he sounded like fun, and they were having a good time.

“Sounds like I'm going to have to fly over and meet him one of these days. Is this serious, El?” Faith asked pointedly, and Eloise laughed.

“Now, Mom … going skiing with him doth not a marriage make.”

“That's good news. For now at least.” She was young, and it was still too soon. But Eloise was sensible, both girls were, and she wasn't likely to fall head over heels after three months, although you never knew, Faith reminded herself. It was certainly the most serious involvement she'd had in a while. “When did you have in mind?”

There was another pause. “I… ah … well, actually, he invited me from the twenty-first to New Year's Day.” It was out.

“Christmas?” Faith sounded stunned. “You wouldn't come home?”

“I don't really have enough time. We can only take that week off, and the weekends on either end. We're closed that week, so if I come home, I'd miss out on skiing with him. I couldn't go. I sort of thought… I was hoping maybe you wouldn't mind … I feel kind of mean doing it, but I'd really love to go.” It would be the first time that both girls wouldn't be home for the holidays.

“Gee, sweetheart, I was really looking forward to your coming home. It won't feel like Christmas if it's just the three of us. Do you think you could come home a little earlier, and maybe go to Saint Moritz on the twenty-sixth?” She was clutching at straws, but it brought tears to her eyes to think of her not coming home. It felt like a tremendous blow to Faith.

“I can't get the time off,” Eloise said, sounding stressed. “It's okay if you won't let me, Mom… I understand. …” But she sounded upset at the thought. It was obvious that she wanted to go to Saint Moritz with Geoff, rather than come home. And now Faith felt like a monster if she didn't agree.

“Can I think about it for a couple of days? Dad just left for L.A. this morning, but I'd like to talk to him.”

“I already did,” Eloise blurted out, and Faith was shocked again. Alex hadn't said a word to her. There was always complicity between those two. They were allies against everyone else.

“You did? What did he say?”

“He said it was fine with him.” That really upset Faith. He had given her permission, without even discussing it with Faith. It seemed a mean thing to do, particularly knowing how much Ellie coming home for Christmas meant to her mother. It also made her the bad guy if she said no.

“I guess there isn't much for me to say,” Faith said, feeling sadder than she allowed herself to sound. “I'd like you to come home, and we've been looking forward to it. But I don't want to keep you from doing something fun. It's really up to you, sweetheart.”

“I'd like to go,” Ellie said honestly, and Faith felt it like a physical blow.

“Okay, I understand. But I don't want you doing this every year. I want Christmas to be sacred for all of us. I want both of you to plan on coming home. You get a pass this year, but plan on being here for Christmas next year, no matter what. If need be, you can bring Geoff, if he's still around.”

“Don't worry about that, Mom,” Eloise said, sounding relieved. “And thanks … I've got to run.” She was off the phone seconds later, and Faith sat in her study feeling crushed, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

She was losing them, there was no denying it. They had grown up. And it could only get worse. Boyfriends, husbands, jobs, friends, trips. A thousand things were going to come into their lives now to sweep them away from her. And the thought of not having Ellie home for Christmas nearly broke her heart. What was more upsetting was that Alex had endorsed the plan, and never told Faith what he'd done. It had undermined her, and put her in an awkward spot. And as she turned off the light in her study and went upstairs to bed, she wondered how she was going to get Ellie's Christmas presents to her, there was barely enough time. She just hoped that Zoe didn't get any ideas when she heard. Faith couldn't help wondering if the dissent between the two girls over the Thanksgiving holiday had spurred Eloise not to come home. It was hard to say. Or maybe it was just life. It was what she had to expect now. But the change was painful for her. Perhaps for Faith most of all.

It was only as she turned off the light that she remembered Brad was coming the next day. She had been looking forward to it, but Eloise's call had put a damper on everything for her. It would be good to see him of course, and he always reminded her of her brother Jack. But his visit was no substitute for Eloise coming home for Christmas. There was no substitute for that, and nothing to soothe her sense of loss. Her heart felt like a bowling ball as she climbed into bed.

8

F
AITH WAS THINKING OF CALLING
Z
OE THE NEXT MORN
ing to tell her Ellie's plans. And then she decided not to after all. Zoe was studying for exams that week, and selfishly Faith didn't want to give her any ideas. There was no question in her mind that she wanted Zoe home. She didn't want her deciding to go skiing in Vermont, or go to the West Coast with friends—since she was still eighteen and Faith could still control what she did. Christmas was Christmas, and she wanted her home. She decided to tell her about Ellie going to Saint Moritz later in the week, unless for some reason the girls spoke to each other first. But they seldom called each other. The time difference complicated things, and they lived in very separate worlds. Faith was still upset, however, that Ellie had called her father first, and that he had endorsed her plans without discussing it with Faith. It made her feel shut out, and as though they were in collusion with each other, which to some extent they were. It was the nature of their relationship and who they were. They were both quiet and secretive, and somewhat uncommunicative, and as Faith thought about it, she realized that she had forgotten to tell Ellie she had confirmed the two classes at NYU. But she had been so bowled over by her plans not to come home, that it had slipped Faith's mind. Maybe Alex had told her, although Faith doubted it. He wouldn't have considered it a piece of good news. And if he had said anything, Faith was sure that Ellie would have commented, even if only to disapprove. She was very definitely Daddy's girl, and had just proved it once again.

For the rest of the day, Faith was busy with errands and things she had to do. She bought paper to wrap their gifts, groceries, and a list of things Zoe had asked her to pick up before she got home. Faith was home by four, and in the bathtub when Brad called. She smiled as soon as she heard his voice. It was the way she used to feel when she heard from Jack.

“Hi, Fred. I'm at the hotel. I just got in. What do we have planned?”

“Nothing I know of. I'm all yours. Alex is in L.A. It worked out perfectly. Do you want me to fix you dinner?” She had bought a few extra things in case he wanted her to, but he laughed.

“What kind of big brother would I be if I didn't take my kid sister out for a decent meal? How about dinner in SoHo or something like that? Or would you rather stay uptown?”

“Anything you like.” She smiled delightedly. It was good just to hear his voice. “All I want is to see you.”

“I'll figure something out. I'll pick you up at seven-thirty There's an Italian place I used to love in the East Village. I'll ask the concierge what he thinks.”

“I can't wait to see you.” She was smiling when she hung up, and she realized that the prospect of seeing him took some of the sting out of Ellie's defection. The thought of the four of them not being together for Christmas had really upset her. And she realized that Brad was going through the same thing, or worse, with both his boys in Zambia. It was depressing. Gone the days of putting out cookies and milk for Santa and hanging stockings by the chimney. Celebrating Christmas without either or both of her children was a daunting prospect.

But she had put Ellie out of her mind again when Brad rang the door at seven-thirty She was wearing black slacks and a black cashmere sweater and a big red cashmere coat, and high-heeled black suede boots. Her shimmering blond hair was pulled back in a neat pony-tail and she was wearing big gold earrings.

“Wow, Fred! You look like one of Santa's helpers!” He put his arms around her and gave her an enormous hug, and lifted her off the ground as he did it. It was the same thing he had done when they were children. And when he set her down, he took a step back to look at her, and smiled with pleasure. “You look terrific. All the boys in law school are going to fall in love with you.”

“Hardly. I'm old enough to be their mother.” He looked terrific to her too. He had a slight tan from playing tennis in California, which made his eyes seem more green, and his dark hair looked thick and well groomed. He was lucky, time had not touched his hairline. And his body looked powerful and muscular even in the suit and coat he was wearing.

“You don't look like anyone's mother, Fred. Are you ready for dinner? I got a reservation at a place the concierge recommended. He thought you'd like it.”

“I don't care if we eat hot dogs in the subway. I'm just glad to see you,” she said, as she locked the front door. He had a cab waiting for them, and he took her hand as he led her across the sidewalk. He was in great spirits, and happy to see her.

She settled next to him in the cab, and they chatted on the way downtown. They were having dinner in SoHo. She told him about Ellie's call the day before, and her own disappointment over it.

“It sucks, doesn't it?” he said honestly. “I hated Thanksgiving without Dylan and Jason. It was our first holiday without them. And Christmas won't be much better. Pam has planned a new form of torture. A dinner on Christmas Day for a hundred. With luck, I'll be in jail, visiting a client. I don't care where the boys are next year, I'm going to see them. I should have done that this year. Maybe you should all go to Saint Moritz and surprise Eloise.” Faith laughed at the prospect.

“I bet she'd love that, and so would the boyfriend. At least we'll have Zoe. I haven't told her yet, I didn't want her getting any bright ideas like her sister.” But Zoe was younger. At eighteen, Faith could insist that she come home. At Eloise's age, it was harder to do, particularly if she had the approval of her father. “She called Alex before she called me, and apparently he told her it was fine with him. I didn't want to be the heavy, so I agreed. He never even told me.” Her complaints about Alex weren't new to Brad. She'd been sharing them with him for the past two months. He thought she was getting a raw deal from him, and always had, but he had been cautious so far in how he voiced it. He didn't want to offend her. But his point of view was very much what Jack's had been, and her brother had always been outspoken about how much he disliked Alex.

“It's amazing how kids play games, isn't it? And our mates along with them. Pam told them not to worry about coming home from college for Christmas one year, because she wanted to go on a cruise without them. She didn't even tell me till she'd bought the tickets, and by then they had other plans. I was seasick for two weeks on the cruise from hell, and I told her the next time she did that, I'd divorce her.” But from what Faith could see, she was still doing what she wanted. “The boys were ecstatic. They went home with a friend from Las Vegas, and spent the holidays with a couple of showgirls. They still talk about it as their favorite Christmas.” He grinned and she laughed along with him. Just seeing him and being with him reminded her in a nice way of her brother. It was the best Christmas gift of all being able to see him, and not just send e-mails. He had been remarkably devoted for the past two months, and this time neither of them had any intention of losing touch with the other. They had come to rely on their constant communication, by phone and e-mail.