Another Woman's Son (Harlequin Romance) (12 page)

“The school,” she said.

“On the other side of the car.” But he kissed the lobe of her ear, suckling for a sweet moment as she fell against him and he was grateful. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. “All the same…”

“T
HIS TIME
you’re the one with second thoughts.”

Ben turned, pastry dough drying in his hands. “You’re everywhere, Isabel.” For the first time since she’d come back to Hartsfield, he wasn’t pleased to see her.

They’d shared a coffee he’d never remember and returned to the school close as two people who knew they’d eventually make love.

At least he knew.

Isabel’s soft laugh worked like the caress of her
fingers. He had to concentrate to understand what she said.

“Most men don’t bake when they think they might be seducing the wrong woman.”

Over his shoulder, he met her challenging gaze. Dust and all, she seemed to glow in the dusky orange of a sunset without snow. “You’re disputing my manhood?” His voice had gone deep. He was tense from head to toe. He wanted Isabel in so many ways. Her body seemed to come alive the second he touched her. She was so easy to be with. She loved his son. She loved family. “It may sound old-fashioned, but I can prove anything you’d like to question.”

She backed down immediately, her gaze skittering away. Even her flushed skin enticed him. He needed to feel her, pliant and clinging, with no thought for why they shouldn’t be together.

“Baklava?” she asked, with a nod to the pastry on his counter.

“Coward.” She’d changed the subject.

“Maybe I am.” She nudged the flour canister. “You started making that because it was Faith’s favorite.”

“We made it together.”

“To patch up after arguments without having to actually say you were sorry.”

He returned to his task. “You do know too much about me. She used this to make up, too.”

“Maybe if you’d talked instead of baking together…”

“You’d still be with Will?”

“No.” Her quick denial relieved his unexpected jealousy. She opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. “He’d have found someone else. When you spend solitary days packing and cleaning a house, you have plenty of time to think—and I think I bored him.”

“He was an idiot.”

“He never baked.”

That did it. He dropped the pastry and walked across the kitchen. “I am a man, Isabel.” She closed her eyes before he touched her. He studied her softly angled face as he slid his hands down her back, indulging in the infinite pleasure of her curves against him. He held her with the hunger of a man who’d never eaten.

Warm and soft and firm where her body gave him the most pleasure, she arched against the pressure of his palms. He took her mouth. For now she belonged to him. He’d erase any other man’s touch.

She started to resist, keeping her mouth closed. He cradled her face, pressed his thumbs against her lips, rubbing gently. “Open your mouth, Isabel.”

She opened her eyes instead. Her steady stare refused him until he stroked her lips again, and her eyes narrowed. Her face crumpled as if she might cry.

“Damn.” He let her go. Memories of Faith and the rejections he’d never understood powered him away from Isabel.

“Wait.” Her hand on his back, affection and need in her tone, stopped him.

He faced her again. “I’m not playing a game.”

“I’m afraid,” she said. “I don’t want to be abandoned again.”

“I can’t promise anything.” Except that he’d likely never be in the same room and not want her in his arms.

“I need the promises.” She held his hands, asking for his consideration. “The ones Will made and broke.”

He pulled away. “I won’t touch you with his name on your mouth.”

She looped her arms around his neck, ignoring his aloofness. “You want Will and Faith to disappear—as if they never existed. We can’t forget them. They’re part of our lives, and they’re vital to Tony’s, but we’re still so close to them I don’t trust what you feel.”

“Knowing all that, I can’t promise.” Ben held her waist. “I never thought of you like this before. Now I can’t seem to stop, but trust is something I’m not sure I’ll ever feel again.”

“Not even for me?”

“I can’t even talk to you without hurting your feelings.”

He took her in his arms as if he had a right. She opened her mouth this time and kissed him back with frank need that shook him. Rational thought fled. He lifted her onto the cold granite island. The
better to feel her breasts pushing against his chest, taste her breath as hot as his own. Even her delicate muscles seemed to flex against his palms.

Staring into her eyes, he pushed his hands beneath her thighs and ran his fingers down the legs of her jeans, enjoying every sinew that tightened in anticipation of his touch. When he pulled her legs around his waist, she scooted closer. She held his face with more possession and passion than he’d ever known. She brushed his lips once, twice, until he couldn’t stand any more teasing and held her head to deepen the kiss.

He mattered to Isabel. God help him, he should have realized he’d stopped mattering to Faith, because she’d never touched him like this.

He nudged Isabel closer still. The instant she felt his arousal, she arched, and he almost laughed with joy. He only held back because she might not understand. Smiling, he kissed her cheek and the hollow of her ear. He opened his mouth against her throat, his smile fading as her moan hummed against his lips.

“Someone will find us,” she said, taut with passion.

“Let’s go to my room.”

“I can’t.” She devoured his mouth, rousing him until reaching some room, somewhere, became imperative. “There’s the past we haven’t dealt with, and the truth.”

He lifted his head, losing all connection with sanity. “Blackmail?”

“No.” She said it against his lips. “I’ve never made love with a man without being sure it was right.”

“I’ve never felt more right, but we can’t stay here.”

She tightened her calves and he groaned. No choice but to bury his face in the hollow of her shoulder and ease his pain in the cradle of her legs.

“Stop,” she said, though need pulsed in her voice.

He tried to do as she’d asked, though he ached to thrust against her one more time. He pulled away, reaching for the counter at his back. She looked stunned and vulnerable, and he wanted to tear off her inconvenient clothes and finish what they’d started.

“You should go,” he said.

“Are you angry?”

Surprised, he jerked his head back. “What?”

She glanced around the room, somehow including the whole house in her nod. “Because we might be disturbed.”

“Are you nuts? I am a man. I understand
no.
”

“I know you’re a man. Your baking is all over my sweater.”

He took one step toward her before she slid off the island.

“No.” She held up both trembling hands. Regret pinched her face. “We’ll end up making love right here if you prove anything else.”

Nowhere near satisfied, he let her weave out of the
room. Her unsteady gait seduced him. He would have followed, but he suspected he’d fall flat on his face. His head understood
no.
His body didn’t have a clue.

T
ALK ABOUT MISTAKES
. She’d nearly made her worst one yet. Making love with Ben couldn’t solve any problems. Her parents would never understand.

In the middle of the night, Isabel packed her things. She’d stayed to be with Tony, but each new moment under this roof taunted her with the fact that Ben was becoming a necessity.

In the morning, she knocked on his door before Tony was awake. He opened it right away. He looked so glad to see her his smile hurt.

Then he pulled her inside, and his slightest touch felt delicious. She could hardly speak when he put his arms around her. She leaned away from him. “We shouldn’t. You and Tony are closer than ever to my mom and dad, and they’d be appalled at the idea of you and me together.”

A vee formed between his eyebrows. “We’ve been starved for the feelings we give each other.”

“You can’t say that.” Nor could she let herself agree. “It may be just how Faith and Will rationalized their affair.”

“If it is, they said it in bed.”

“But you and I are not people who leap before looking. I’m not feeling as righteous as I was about them.”

“We’ve done nothing wrong, Isabel.”

She looked at him, loving the boxers that rode low on his hips and just right on his thighs, a T-shirt that hugged his muscled chest. There was plenty she wanted to do and feel, wrong or right.

“We’re alone. We’re adults.” He surprised her, swinging her close enough to brush his thighs, pressing his lips to the side of her neck, just where his kiss triggered goose bumps that chased up and down her arms and legs. “I want you. You want me.”

“You were married to my sister. She and Will haven’t been gone long.” She pushed out of his arms and turned away.

“And your parents?”

“It’s all the same problem. I want to wrap your arms around me and tell you everything that’s bothering me, but you’re not just my best friend anymore. I don’t know how to deal with what I feel for you now.”

“I won’t give up on you—on us—and I’m willing to face your parents’ disapproval if we have to.”

She knew he was close before he touched her. He linked his hands at her waist and pulled her against him. Being in his arms was such a relief—that couldn’t last. “I packed my stuff last night.”

His chin brushed her hair as he turned his head. “It’s still last night. Why would you want to leave Tony and me?”

With his lips at her ear, she couldn’t remember, and she certainly didn’t want to go. “I told you.”

He leaned so far around her he reached the corner of her mouth. She needed more. She turned and spread her fingers across his chest, pleased to find his racing heartbeat and tight nipples.

“Don’t tease, Isabel.”

He kissed her and she clung, craving him as if they’d barely been apart for a second. At last, he raised his head and she buried her face in the hollow of his throat, breathing in his musky, irresistible scent. “Maybe with some space we’ll be rational enough to work it all out.”

“I like you in my face.”

“I still have to go until being with you feels at least as right as it does wrong.”

His hands traced her back and sides, sending shudders through her. His arousal, pressed to the pit of her belly, made her feel womanly and strong and needed. For these moments, she was Ben’s and he was hers, but last night’s regrets would come back. She shook her head.

“Don’t go.” He traced her hairline with his mouth. “Do you want me to say please?”

“I want to belong, and I never will here. I’m your friend’s wife, your wife’s sister. And I want you in my bed.”

“Where I need you to be. Urgently.”

She walked to his door, feeling as if she were climbing hand-over-hand up a slim rope. “I’ll come back tonight to see Tony, but then I have to go home.”

“You don’t want to stay in that house.”

“No.” She didn’t bother to lie. “But I’m too confused to stay here, and we’re bound to do something that gives us away.” She turned the doorknob with so much force she hurt her hand.

Then she went back to her room and got her bags. As she ran down the stairs, she looked back, half hoping Ben would stop her. He didn’t. Even he could see she was right.

Tears filled her eyes. Being desired felt intense, addictive, precious. She’d struggled not to cry over Faith and Will, feeling foolish and betrayed, trying to find her pride. As she left Ben’s house, the tears streamed down her cheeks. Even crying felt good.

O
N
T
ONY’S FIRST
morning of day care, Isabel linked arms with her mother and gritted her teeth at the open window that looked into the little boy’s classroom. Her heart broke with strange, tender loss and with pride at Tony’s lack of fear. Fortunately, because of his visits, he just wanted to play.

In his favorite spot, the art center, he smeared purple paint on a blank sheet of paper. Ben turned from his son, shrugging at Isabel and her parents.

He came to them, entirely ignored by Tony. George was already ushering Amelia toward the front. Ben wrapped an arm around Isabel and said, “You look angry.”

“No, strangely sad. He’s growing up. Why does that hurt so much?”

“Because time goes too fast. Be careful, though. If Tony sees you, he may think he’s supposed to cry. He’s nineteen months old, and we have plenty of firsts to get through still.”

“You’re happy for a guy who was so uncertain
yesterday.” Forgetting caution, she grabbed his lapel.

“I’m glad he’s happy. What’s to cry about?”

Isabel opened her hand. “Are you working all day today?”

“Probably not. I miss him already. I got used to having him around.”

“Will you come by the house before you pick him up? I’d love to come, too.” She nodded at her parents, already waiting on the sidewalk in the cold.

“What about Leah? Isn’t she going home today?”

Her mother-in-law had calmed some. She had still wanted to inspect each box Isabel packed, but she’d broken away early the night before to talk to Ray about Will’s estate. “She’s starting back this morning. She doesn’t like to drive in the dark.” Then Isabel remembered the Realtor. “But Mr. Lofton has papers for me to sign so he can put the house on the market. Maybe you could call me before you come back.”

Her mother and father, beside Ben’s car, heard the last. “You’ve hired a Realtor?” her mother asked. “Why didn’t you say?”

“I’ve been busy at the house. I don’t want to think about it by the time I see you all.”

“What are you planning to do after you sell?” her dad asked. “Are you going back to Middleburg?”

She avoided Ben. “I’m up in the air. I had a job in Middleburg, but they called a couple of days ago
and needed a firm date for my return. I couldn’t give them that so I’m unemployed again.”

“That’s not right,” her mother said.

“It is, but I appreciate your outrage, Mom. I’m going to look for a job here. I always loved this place, and I’ve been thinking about a town house in D.C.”

“I’m glad you’ll still be close to Tony.” Her mother’s smile looked inward. “Your father and I should think of going home soon, but I’ve enjoyed spending so much time with the baby. Ben, let’s try to stay this close.”

Isabel watched him. Would he be grateful for a stronger family, or would he resist her mother’s attachment to his son?

“I hope you’ll all come when you can, and I’ll bring Tony up more often. He needs all of us.”

For the first time, Isabel thought there might be a chance he’d agree to tell the truth. Behind her, the clock on the peaked roof chimed the hour. “I have to go if I want to leave early.”

“We’ll see you at dinner.” Isabel’s mother walked backward on the wide, pale sidewalk. She reversed to take her husband’s arm. “We’ll celebrate Tony’s first school day.”

That was what Tony called it—school. At less than two years old, he had a child’s eagerness to “be big” fast.

“Don’t forget to keep your cell phone with you,” Ben said.

She looked at him, unable to say all that burned inside her. That she only wanted to be with him and Tony, that everything else, job, future, freedom, had begun to seem less vital. “Okay. I’ll see you later. Can I bring anything, Mom?”

“Just yourself.”

Isabel waved at them, her mouth too tight to say goodbye. She got in her car, feeling as naked as the winter trees. This was her family, and she stood between Ben and her parents, guarding a secret that could destroy them all. Its weight grew each day.

Leah was waiting in her car when Isabel drove up. She climbed out and walked up the steps at Isabel’s side. “I guess today is goodbye.”

“Not forever, Leah. We’ll stay in touch.”

“I met with Ray Paine.”

“Good.” Isabel unlocked the door and let her in. The house, dressed with only Isabel’s things, felt more welcoming. Before this morning, she’d walked in each day and sensed only the lack of love this home had borne like a wound.

“I won’t stay long, but I wanted to thank you.” Her voice broke. “Ray told me how generous you’ve been with both Tony and me. More than I deserved.” Leah shut the door at their backs. “I know I’ve been—obnoxious, but I tend to panic and say crazy things when I’m upset. I hit back before I know whether I should.”

Isabel hugged Leah, hoping the worst was over. “If I lost a son, maybe I’d be the same.”

“Thanks, Isabel,” Leah said through tears. She stepped back and shrugged out of her coat. “I wish I’d seen Tony. He obviously means more to you than I understood, and I think he must have mattered as much to my son.”

“He did.” Isabel thought of Will without rancor for the first time. She’d never doubted his love for Tony. “He would have provided everything I have for—our nephew—if he’d ever thought he might die so young.”

“I didn’t know my son at all, and now it’s too late.” Leah seemed unaware she’d begun to cry. “And I’ve treated you horribly since I’ve been here.” She pulled a handkerchief out of nowhere and blew her nose. “Ignore me. I’ll make us some coffee before I go. After I saw Ray, I couldn’t leave with all my bad behavior between us.”

Isabel hung their coats before she followed her former mother-in-law to the kitchen. “Do you think the house looks right?”

“You’ll be lucky if you find another place before you sell.” Leah had already placed a filter in the coffeemaker, and she was spooning in coffee. “Will you miss this house?”

“I thought so for a second when we came in, but it stopped being a happy place a long time ago.”

“I understand.”

“Leah, you’ve been struck by lightning.”

She turned from the counter, smoothing her hands along her sedate black neck-to-calf dress. “Don’t count on the new me lasting. But I am ashamed I treated you as if you were a thief.”

She always had, really. She’d thought Isabel had stolen her son. Isabel nodded, unwilling to pretend Leah’s accusations hadn’t hurt, but she could forgive, too.

“I really don’t want to lose touch with you, Isabel. I’m sure I’ll get a little crazy and blame everything on you again, but deep down, I care, and I’d love to know I can talk to you about Will from time to time.” She smiled, running her multiringed hand over her face. “We can talk about you, too.”

Isabel weakened. “Maybe we’ll always rub each other like sandpaper, but I don’t want to lose you, either.”

“A sandpaper relationship’s not bad. It’ll keep us on our toes.” She glanced at her watch. “I’d better move.”

They shared a cup of coffee and parted, declaring a truce.

“Have a safe trip. Call my cell when you get home.”

“I will.”

Isabel waved until she couldn’t see Leah anymore. Then she went back inside and put finishing touches on the house in preparation for Neal Lofton’s visit.

He came late that afternoon. Isabel had to tell Ben she couldn’t meet him to pick up Tony, and she felt cheated. She signed Lofton’s contracts, and he plunged a For Sale sign into her lawn, assuring her the house would go so fast she’d wonder where she would live.

She already did.

She returned to Ben’s house for dinner that night. He asked her if she’d ducked him. Even in small ways they had a lot to learn about trust.

All the nights after, she visited Tony, but she avoided Ben. Between longing for him, missing her nephew and each night getting more caught up in her newly complex family, Isabel found staying at her own home difficult.

Three weeks after Tony started day care, Amelia called. “Morning, sweetie— I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Isabel had already made coffee, read the newspaper and cleaned the house to make it fit for a prospective buyer’s viewing pleasure. These nights she found sleep elusive. Too many thoughts got in the way.

“I’ve been up awhile, Mom. Are you at Ben’s?”

“I came to make my cinnamon rolls for Tony.”

“Mmm, I wish I’d known. Everything okay over there?”

“Sure. I’m just calling to remind you about Tony’s recital tonight.”

The Children’s Cottage featured a music teacher who’d put together a program for the children. They
were singing at a nearby community center as all the parents and friends of the children wouldn’t fit into their building. Isabel had fended off invites to the event. Even when she heard Tony practicing, she’d blubbered like a baby.

The poignancy of his big-boy efforts twisted her in knots. She couldn’t help being sorry that Faith would never see her boy singing his song.

“Isabel, are you still there?”

“I’m not sure about tonight.”

“Yes, you are. Tony’s growing up. You’ll be sorry if you miss even one step he takes along the way.”

“That’s the nail on the head.” And a total relief to admit it out loud.

“You’ll never lose him. We may have been complacent about seeing him before, but that’s changed. We’ve all learned how unreliable life can be.”

Isabel’s heart cracked in several places. “I’ll be there.” She was foolish to spend more time with Ben when she couldn’t have him in her life, but her mother would get around to questioning her real motives if she kept staying away.

“It starts at seven, Mom?”

“But Ben has to take Tony over at six-thirty.”

“Okay. See you there.”

“The school’s putting on a little party afterward.”

“And the whole family’s invited?”

“Seems to me you visit Tony, but you’re trying to stay away from the rest of us lately.”

Her mother’s throwaway remark was just what she’d dreaded. Isabel got off the phone before her mom slipped into interrogation mode.

For the rest of the day she worked on spinning her volunteer work into a reputable résumé and then called several headhunters. Surprised at how much credit they were willing to give the fund-raisers she’d organized, she agreed to an interview the next day.

She finally turned off the computer and stood, stretching as she scoured the dark blue sky outside the office window. More snow. Or maybe a thunderstorm. It didn’t look good, but she liked the excitement of violent weather.

Isabel showered and put on a white wool skirt and a pale blue cashmere cardigan, barely buttoned to the top of her translucent blue bra.

Against her better judgment, she wanted to look good for Ben. She examined herself in the mirror and saw someone different, someone more willing to put herself at risk. Considering it might be temporary daring on her part, she thought about changing but grabbed her keys and coat. The bell rang as she reached for the door.

She wasn’t surprised to find Ben. She’d wanted to see him so badly it was as if she’d summoned him.

“Hey.” His gaze was all male, all appreciation, and he started a flutter of pleasant anticipation inside her. So much for days of trying to be sensible. “I had
to take Tony over early and then they threw all the parents out for distracting the children.”

She pushed her fingers through her hair, aware that newly washed, it was shiny and full of life. “How did you distract the kids?”

Interest darkened his eyes. “Mrs. Carter tried to put them through their paces, but they were more interested in us.”

“So you came here.” She was glad and she couldn’t hide her relief.

With a laugh that was pure foreplay, Ben took her chin in one hand and kissed her, teasing, touching, tasting. She put her arms around him, holding tight.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, “even in my own house.” Then he pressed his open mouth to her throat. The gentle pull of his kiss robbed her of thought and speech.

She had to learn each line and plane of his face. He hadn’t shaved since morning, but she liked the friction of his stubble.

“Answer me,” he said, his hands restless on her back.

“I am.” She followed the outline of his ear with her lips. His breath escaped in a heady moan, and he slid his hands beneath the hem of her sweater. She could hardly believe she was touching him, but she couldn’t stop.

“Soft.” The word sounded odd in the unfamiliar tone of his need.

She loosened his tie and then his collar, desperate to touch him, too. “Ben?”

“I can’t tell which is softer, this sweater or your skin.” He splayed his hands across her back, making her feel small, delicate. At the same time, he lowered his head to the vee her sweater’s open buttons made above her breasts.

His mouth there should feel wrong. It didn’t. He opened a button.

She looked down. Her bra hid nothing. She looked at Ben, whose hungry glance seemed to touch her face as well as her breasts.

“More.” Her own voice, pleading, shocked her.

“I wish.” Peeling the fragile material of her bra back with one finger, he suckled her flesh. “We have to stop.”

But stopping didn’t seem to be on his mind. He traced both breasts with tender, trembling fingertips until she was arching into his hands.

Ben’s shoulder muscles bunched beneath his shirt. Frustration made her groan when, as she reached for his tie again, he caught her hands. “Later.” He stared into her eyes, and his were too dark to read.

He looked doubtful, as if he knew they should go, but he couldn’t. She wanted to laugh as he kissed her, but holding him, touching him, was too serious. She felt alive. Full of life. “When, later?”

His smile went straight to her head. “Whenever you ask.”

“I’m asking.” They both knew she’d beg again.

“I’m afraid you’ll change your mind when you see your parents.”

She stiffened. Not only would they be appalled that she could make love with Ben, they’d believe she was taking him from Faith. “You might be right. I’ve tried to stop wanting you, but the second I saw you I changed my mind.”

He returned to her breast and immediately erased every other human being from her mind. “I won’t let you push me away again.”