Another Notch in the Beltway (15 page)

“You were trying to protect me,” she said faintly.

“Yes,
mo chuisle
, or at least not add to your burden.”

She was touched. “Will you forgive me?”

“Will you work on trusting me, and ask me before you push me away and shut me out?”

“I'll do my best. I want to trust you. But I don't give trust easily, and I'm pretty independent.”

“I've noticed. I forgive you.”

“Thank you.”

“While you raise my anger to the boiling point quickly, it's hard for me to stay angry with you long. I wish I'd gone with you. I wish you hadn't pushed me away.”

“I'll be home late tomorrow afternoon, and I'll do my best to pull you close if you'll let me.”

“Your plan has potential, Ms. Held. Now go relax before your son joins you. You'll need your strength.”

“I feel better now that I've talked to you.”

“You'll be in my thoughts this evening,
a chuisle
.”

“I hope you'll be in my dreams, Michael Patrick.”

“I'll be in your bed if you keep it up. You're only down the highway.”

“I'd like that, but I don't think it's a good idea. I—”

“I understand, Lenore. I was teasing you.”

“Michael Patrick?”

“Yes, love.”

“I want this to work between us. I'll work at it. Be patient with me, and I'll try not to make you too crazy.”

“You've already made me crazy. But I want this to work too, so I'll be patient, and if I can't, I'll be in your face.”

“Fair enough. Don't let any hot babes try and pick you up.”

“Only hot babe I want is you. Good-bye, Lenore.

“Mom!” Nate came through the hotel room door and gave Lenore a hug and kiss. She was lucky her son was always generous with his show of affection and had never gone through the stage of shunning his mother like a lot of children, maybe because it was only the two of them.

“You made good time. No traffic?”

“Only a little on the way out of D.C., but that's to be expected on a Friday.”

He tossed his duffle bag and backpack in the second bedroom of the suite and joined her in the sitting area. She was looking out the window at the historical section of Philadelphia, manic butterflies jumping in her stomach.

“Mom?”

She turned. “I know you're eager to hear this, so let's just do it.”

“Like Nike,” he added with a half-smile.

“Yes. First let me tell you who your father is. I could do a big lead-up and explanation, but what you want to know is simply who.”

He nodded, not saying anything, but looking excited and eager.

“Your father is Senator Byron Maxwell from Virginia.” She watched for a reaction, any reaction. Nate sat there stunned and speechless.

“Nate, honey, are you okay?” She reached out and touched his arm.

“Umm,” he sat for a minute as if gathering words. “Mom, no offense, but the guy's a right of the right asshole.”

“You're correct, and I'm sorry, but it's true.”

“Okay, okay,” he said and got up to pace the room a bit. “Not what I expected. No wonder you kept it a secret for so long.”

“Nate, I kept it a secret, because I gave my word to keep it a secret.”

“So you've always said. You sure you weren't embarrassed by your bad taste in men?”

It was said so deadpan she didn't know if he was making a joke or serious.

“I was attempting to be funny, Mom.” He came back to her and sat down on the couch.

“Ask me any questions you want, Nate. I'll be honest and give you all the answers you want.”

“Why does he want to meet me now?”

“You may have read this in the papers; his son, Jack, has malignant myeloma and needs a bone marrow transplant.”

“He wants to use me to see if my bone marrow is a match,” Nate said ruefully. “If his remaining son wasn't sick, he'd never have made the overture.”

“I can't say one way or the other, but you're right, that's why he contacted me.” She was pleased that her son didn't have rose-colored glasses and saw what was what. Lenore continued, “I wanted to tell him to go to hell and did in so many words, but thought I'd let you decide what you want to do. I made it clear to his chief of staff, Gerald Morris that the decision was yours to make. If you want to see Maxwell and hear him out, you can. If you don't want to see him and hear what he has to say, there is no meeting.”

“He's not looking to make this public, is he?” Nate asked, fear crossing his face.

“No, it would end his marriage, his career, not to mention the turmoil the media would cause in all of our lives,” she replied, keeping her answers short and to the point, trying to be the “better person” and not allow her personal animosity to influence her son's decision.

“Thank goodness for that. I don't want anyone knowing I'm related to that man. I know Jack Maxwell is gravely ill, but he's an asshole, too.”

“I didn't realize you knew him,” she said surprised.

“Yeah,” he said, getting up and pacing again. “He went to school at Georgetown before he got sick; he would have graduated with me this year, in fact.”

“I didn't know, Nate. And Maxwell or Morris didn't mention it.”

“Probably hoping I didn't know him. Hoping Jack's behavior wouldn't color my decision to consider a bone marrow transplant or not,” Nate said testily.

She wanted to probe but didn't know if she should.

“Why him of all people, Mom?” Her son was angry.

“I was his intern. I was young and stupid in the ways of men and love.”

“Did he ever tell you he loved you?”

“Yes.”

“You believed him and slept with him.”

Again, she thought they'd never slept together, but that wasn't her son's meaning behind the word, and she said, “Yes.”

“Jesus, how could you have been so stupid?” He was almost yelling.

Before she could stop herself, she responded abruptly, “I might have been stupid, but I have you. I never regretted having you. Even if you share Maxwell's genetic material, you are my son, not his. You are nothing like your sperm donor.” Tears were welling in her eyes—she wasn't sure how they got there. Blinking furiously, she was trying to keep them at bay.

“Oh, Mom, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I'm sorry.” He embraced her and held her for a minute.

She pulled away and looked at Nate.

“I'm sorry, Mom. You're terrific, and I couldn't ask for a better parent. But I figured you'd have hooked up with someone cooler than Byron Maxwell.”

She arranged her mouth in what she thought was a smile. “Sorry to disappoint.”

“What do you think I should do?” he asked her, calmer now.

“I'm probably not the right person to ask. I'm your mother and want to protect you from anything that could cause you hurt or harm.”

“But you've never been crazy overprotective either. Tell me what you think, both sides of the coin. I know you've thought of both sides.”

“I've thought of a lot of sides. But it's important that you do what's best for Nathan Held. I know that sounds like a parental copout but…”

He nodded, and then asked, “Maxwell paid you off to stay away?”

“Stay away, stay silent. His wife had the money and—”

“If he divorced her to be with you or acknowledged the fact he fathered an illegitimate child, she would have divorced him. Either way he would have been penniless and lost his political career as well.”

“Most likely.”

“The man was a spineless coward.”

“Yes, but I wasn't. I was determined to have you and raise you to the best of my abilities. I think I did a pretty good job, too. I told someone the other day you were my magnum opus, my best work.”

“Sappy, Mom, but thanks.”

She laughed. “Maxwell's money, most likely his wife's, allowed me to finish grad school and get my writing career off to a solid start. Writing made being a single mother easier for me. I could work anytime, anywhere. If you needed me, I was there. If you were home sick from school, I could be there and not worry about having to take the day off. Even though I didn't plan my life to be what it was, it worked out fine.”

“But you never had your own life until I left for college either.”

“My choice, not Maxwell's or yours. I wrote and took care of you. It was what I did. Plus, you have a tidy nest egg to give you a solid start in life. Once I didn't need Maxwell's money for rent and food, I invested it for you.”

He nodded. She could see he wasn't sure how he felt about Maxwell's money.

“But you could have made millions if you went to the press. Sold your story to the highest bidder,” Nate came back.

“Not my style. I would have come off looking like a slut, home wrecker, gold digger, whatever term you prefer. I'm a private person for the most part, and going public was not my thing.”

“Did he ever contact you and find out how I was doing? Ask for pictures of me? Anything?”

“No.”

“He didn't want to know me.”

“I don't know what he wanted.”

They sat on the couch in silence for a moment.

Nathan said, “One day at school, someone thought I was Jack Maxwell. I remember I laughed and said, ‘Thank goodness I'm not,' and the girl who confused me for him said, ‘No, your eyes are different, beautiful. Jack's are ice-cold.'”

“You do look like Byron, so if you meet him, be prepared for that. The young woman was right; you don't have cold eyes. Your father does.”

They talked a long while. Nate asked her tons of questions, and she answered them as honestly as she could.

Finally, Nate asked, “When do I have to decide if I want to meet him?”

“Meeting is set for ten in Connor Walker's office. The ball's in your court, honey. You're in control; remember that regardless if you go to the meeting or not.”

“I'll think about it. Let's have dinner and talk about something else, like your new book project.”

“You're on. Where?”

“Ruth's Chris.”

“You got it.”

****

Lenore and Nate talked about the book at dinner. She even mentioned Michael Patrick and the fact that they were doing more than writing a book. Nate was happy for her. She knew he secretly worried about her being alone as he went on with the next phase of his life. Lenore thought it was sweet.

Then he shocked her by telling her about a young lady he was seeing, Kelly Hyde. He seemed to be smitten and wanted Lenore to meet her. It was only the second time since Nate went to college that he had wanted to introduce her to his girlfriend. She told him to let her know when, and she'd be there. He'd suggested she bring MP, and they could double date. They both shared a good laugh.

By the time dessert arrived, they were back to his father.

“I think I'll meet him,” he said, stirring cream into his coffee.

She nodded.

“After I spent the last two years making you crazy. Trying to get you to tell me who he was. I hate to say it, but it's pretty anticlimactic.”

“Sorry.”

“I still don't get it.”

“I was young, honey. He was older and seemed so wise. People did try and warn me away, but I thought I was different. Thought he loved me…” She sighed wistfully. “It was the infatuation of a young girl.”

“He took advantage of you, Mom, and was old enough to be your father. It's one thing when two coeds go at it and get in trouble, but he knew better. He was a pig.”

She smiled at her son's defense of her. “You're a smart kid. I'm lucky to have you.”

“We're lucky to have each other,” Nathan said, lightly touching his mother's hand.

Lenore had arranged for her and Nathan to arrive at the attorney's office at 9:30. She figured that would give Nate time to settle in. He'd agreed that he wanted Lenore to be with him for at least the first part of the meeting.

“They say that you should always bring someone with you to the doctor's when facing potentially bad news. So the other person can take in the information and ask questions. This is kind of one of those times,” Nate said.

“I agree, but I'll leave if you want to discuss anything private with him.”

“We'll see. I'm not sure I want to discuss anything. And you know the chance of me being a match for the transplant is only about twenty-five percent. I was doing some research, and I'd guess the fact that we're only half-brothers makes the likelihood of a match even lower.”

Lenore nodded. She'd been doing her own research on the matter. “I think Maxwell is desperate. It's my understanding that Jack is critically ill.”

“Did they check the National Marrow Donor Program?”

“Yes. There are no matches.”

“He's grasping at straws.”

“Yes. As a parent, I understand wanting to do everything you can to save your child. Plus, if you're a match, the concern over contaminated blood is lessened.”

“Come on. They test that blood extremely well. There are strict protocols. Chances are more likely that I have an STD. Don't worry, I don't,” he added with a wicked smile.

She gave an exaggerated eye roll.

“You need to remember to have safe sex. You can still get pregnant and/or get a sexually transmitted disease.” Nathan was carrying on with chatter as he did when he was nervous, so she played along.

“Thanks, but you are twenty years too late with that advice. Would you like a brother or sister?” she added.

That stopped him. “You're not…”

“No, I'm not.” She openly laughed at the horrified look on his face.

“Phew,” he said with an exaggerated swipe of hand over his brow. “I never thought about siblings. If you met someone and wanted more kids, I don't care. But don't ask me to change diapers or babysit.”