Another Man's Baby (24 page)

“Eric, baby, what’s wrong?”

He’d have to let it go. He undressed her slowly. “I wish to hell I’d told you the first time I saw you how much I wanted to be with you.”

“I wish you had too.”

“Then maybe none of this would have happened. You would have never dated Reggie.”

“I was never in love with Reggie.”

Eric moved down his wife’s body, pulling her brown nipple into his mouth, biting down gently, feeling her squirm. “I’m not going to hurt you, baby. I’ll never hurt you again.”

He traced her breast with his tongue, coating it with his saliva, claiming each inch of her as his own. She was his. Eric would not give her up, not to Reggie, not to anyone. His tongue found her earlobe and swirled inside the delicate shell and found the air hot. He blew his breath inside and whispered, “I love you.”

He ran his hand over her hips, her belly, between her thighs. Pushing in one finger at a time, he found her dry. Determined to change that, he pulled on her breast, felt the liquid leave her body and pool on his finger. “That’s better,” he moaned when she arched upward wanting more of what he was doing to her. He’d oblige, he’d wipe any thought of Reggie…  Eric shuddered. Not now, he thought, now was for them.

Three hundred and sixty-five days he’d missed her and three hundred and sixty-five days he’d been home. He wanted his wife more than ever. She was his lifeline to sanity. Maybe if they pulled through this he’d tell her why he’d done all the crazy things that he had. Maybe he’d even answer some of the questions she’d asked. And just maybe he’d release some of the horrors.

Gabi shivered in his arms and moaned softly. Her sugar cookie scent wrapped around him, begging him to take her and he would, only he’d do it slowly, have her begging him to enter her. He’d brand her so she would know no matter who she’d been with, he would be the one her body cried out for.

Kissing every inch of her, Eric began again in earnest, moving slowly downward, tasting her sweetness, trembling himself at the ache in his groin. Gabi’s nails were digging into his skin and her cries were becoming more fevered and pronounced. She wanted him, that much was obvious. When he was sure he was the only one she wanted, he’d take her. He’d drive away thoughts of anyone but him.

He and he alone would own the key to her secrets. Her wetness was spilling out of her, covering her thighs, his fingers, his cheek, his tongue and Eric smiled amidst the warmth of it all and pushed her legs farther apart.

“Tell me what you need, Gabi,” he said on a husky breath.

“You,” Gabi mumbled, “I need you.”

“And who else?”

A shiver came out of him and he pulled on her nether lips, biting lightly. A contraction came from Gabi’s womb and she shuddered with the pleasure he was giving her. Eric held her close, suckling her. His fingers replaced his lips momentarily as he pulled away to ask, “Is there anyone else for you, Gabi?”

“Don’t do this, baby,” Gabi whimpered, “not now. There has never been anyone but you.”

“Tell me who else you want, Gabi.”

“No one,” Gabi whispered softly, giving in to what her husband wanted. A tear slid from her eyes and ran down the side of her face. She couldn’t blame Eric for doubting her. If she could take back the things she’d done she would, gladly. If she ever gave advice it would be to tell people that revenge didn’t pay, far from it. Revenge destroyed.

“I love you, baby,” Gabi said, and closed her eyes, running her hand across his head, the need to touch her husband enveloping and overwhelming her.
God, please
, she prayed inwardly. These stupid tests are going to destroy my marriage. They’re going to do what my seeking revenge couldn’t do. The test results trump my divorce papers. I don’t want a divorce. I never did, but especially not now. Please, God, help us.

“
Have faith.”

Again the disembodied voice whispering in her ear. More tears slid beneath Gabi’s lids. Her guardian angel was back but this time Gabi had no answer for the whispered words. She had tried having faith and her husband had drifted away. She’d tried having faith and she’d plotted revenge. She’d tried having faith and was now pregnant with a baby she’d prayed for. She’d tried having faith and knew in her heart she was slowly losing her husband.

Gabi opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling, wondering if her guardian angel was hovering over them. I’ll try to have faith, she said silently. And she would, but it would make it so much easier if she only knew when the fighting and doubts would be over.

Gabi closed her eyes again. She would do her best to have faith, to fight for them until the baby was born.  to hold onto her husband and her marriage.

As hard as she tried to shove it away, doubt crept in.
What if after the baby is born the
DNA
says it isn’t his
? Gabi groaned low and sighed, hoping Eric would think it was lust that was bringing out the sounds she’d made.

Eric’s senses were tuned to every movement Gabi made, every sound, every moan, every sigh of pleasure. She was tight with tension. He sensed the anxiety and when she moaned Eric was aware it was not with pleasure.

Gabi was lying to him with her body. The thought stuck like a knife in his chest. What had happened to cause this? Even when they were fighting they’d always had this. In making love they were honest with their feelings. They were always so open with each other. Neither had to doubt if the other was receiving pleasure. Even for the few weeks he’d pulled out of her to prevent her becoming pregnant, he hadn’t done so before she had an orgasm. Eric had always known he’d pleased Gabi and she’d known that he was satisfied. But now, now this wasn’t them. There were too many doubts.

Eric reached his hand up to touch the tiny bulge of her belly. The tightening in his chest increased. All she’d wanted was a baby, the one thing he couldn’t give her. He rubbed his hand back and forth across her abdomen. It was then he nearly lost it.

He burrowed into her heat, tasting her, determined to make her forget, to make himself forget. For now he would concentrate on giving the both of them pleasure. He would lose himself in her body.

On the crest of Gabi’s orgasm Eric made his way back up and entered her, plunging hard and deep, making her feel him, wanting her to never want another man.

Eric’s eyes were closed because they didn’t have to be open to see the tears in Gabi’s eyes. He was a man, and he didn’t want his wife to see the ones in his own.

Over and over he thrust, giving no mercy, not a second for either of them to think. Now was for them and they needed it as much as they needed each other. They were coming on some hard times and Eric didn’t know if they’d make it through.

             
ANOTHER
MAN
’S BABY
             
229

Chapter
Nineteen

“Lieutenant, you only have a few minutes left. Isn’t there something you want to talk about?”

Eric turned from the window where he’d been gazing out  for the past forty-five minutes. “No,” he answered.

“That’s always your answer.”

Eric waited, not responding.

“Why do you keep coming here?”

“Because I promised my wife that I would.”

“Have you thought of bringing your wife to the sessions?”

“No,” Eric answered quickly. He heard the therapist sigh. She didn’t know what to make of him. For months he’d been coming to her and he had yet to speak to her of his problems. It wasn’t her business.

“You’re wasting your money and your time, not to mention mine, Lieutenant.”

Eric glared. “You’re getting paid either way. Why do you care?”

“I want to help you.”

“You can’t.” Eric’s eyes closed and he thought of Gabi and the baby. He thought of the call from Reggie wanting to know what Eric had wanted to give him. Gabi had been watching Eric when the call came.

Her eyes had been big and round. The expression on her face begged Eric to believe her. He knew one thing for sure: Gabi didn’t want Reggie as the father of her baby. He’d looked at her and had known that.

Maybe Gabi had wanted in her own way to find a way to make them a family. He couldn’t hate her for that. When Reggie had asked him again what he had for him, Eric had told him an apology.

The smile on Gabi’s face had been worth it. The conversation had been the way for both of them to close the door on whatever had happened with Reggie. He was no longer important.

The knot in Eric’s gut increased as he thought of it. Reggie would never be completely gone, though. Once the baby was born, he’d be a living, breathing reminder of his wife’s infidelity.

Eric had to learn to suck it up, to pretend to Gabi that it didn’t matter. He’d have to pretend to the baby that it didn’t matter and he’d have to learn to pray because something told him that it was going to require a lot more discipline than even a marine had. It was going to require the faith that Gabi kept telling him to have, that the voice kept whispering to him about.

Eric had thought more than once of trying things Gabi’s way. Hell, his sure wasn’t working. Eric needed something to believe in. He’d tried everything else, and now he might just be forced to give Gabi’s God a try. He remembered his promise to fall to his knees in worship if he could be granted a miracle and could give Gabi a baby. This wasn’t how he’d meant for it to happen. This wasn’t a baby he’d given her. But his pledge still stood. After the birth of this baby he would still like to find he’d done the impossible. That he’d been the first sterile man in history to give his wife a baby.

“Lieutenant, how do you know I can’t help you unless you talk?”

Eric stared at the woman for a second. He’d been so lost in thought that he’d forgotten her and forgotten where he was. He smiled at the woman who wanted to fix him. “I thought about killing a man a few months ago.” He saw the shock that came over her face and smiled. “I loaded my gun and went after him.” He stopped.

“What happened?” the therapist asked.

“I didn’t kill him.”

“You changed your mind?”

“No, I couldn’t find him.”

“Are you going to try again?” the therapist asked.

Eric glanced at the wall clock, then at his watch. “My time’s up. I’ll call for another appointment.”

With that he left the office not knowing why he felt good for shocking the therapist, but he did. It was the first sign of lightness he’d had in way over a month. He and Gabi were both trying so damn hard, being polite, sleeping in the same bed, making love. And in the morning it took them so much time to look at each other that they’d stopped. One of them would shower and leave for work while the other was in bed. It was not a spoken agreement but somehow they’d found themselves in that pattern. One day they would have to be up in the light of day at the same time.

***

This was the first time since Gabrielle had met Terry and Ongela Jackson that she’d ever felt dread before entering their home.  She loved them almost as much as she loved Eric and telling them what they’d come to tell them was not going to be easy. She could just imagine their disbelief. The one thing besides losing her husband that she didn’t want to lose in her life was Eric’s parents. She hesitated as they began to walk up the walkway. “What are you going to tell them?” she asked Eric.

“The same thing you told me,” Eric answered.

“Are you going to try and make me look bad?”

Eric sighed. “I won’t tell them anything, I’ll let you tell them.” He waited.

“Are you going to be for or against me?”

“I’ll never be against you, baby.”

Gabi heaved, taking in a deep breath. “You know what I mean. Are we in this together, or are you going to throw me to the wolves?”

“What is it you want from me, Gabi? Do you want me to tell my parents a lie, that I know for a fact the baby is mine?” He saw a flicker of pain. “I won’t say anything. How’s that?”

“That’s just as bad as your saying you don’t believe me. If you’re with me then you have to…”  She stopped. “Never mind, Eric. Let’s get this over with.” She made her body into a rod of steel and walked inside, ignoring the look of concern on the faces of her in-laws.

When they were all seated Gabi licked her lips. “We want to tell you something.” She glanced at Eric and he sighed and moved closer to her, putting his arm around her shoulder. He didn’t want to but he was offering her solidarity. She would have felt better if he believed in her but for now it was nice to have it at least not three against one. It wasn’t exactly two and two but she had at least this much support from him.

She blew her breath out. “I’m pregnant.” She’d planned to say, ‘Eric and I are having a baby,’ but somehow she couldn’t quite force those words out.

“Pregnant?” Ongela almost smiled, then stopped and looked at Terry. “Gabi, did Eric have another test? Did they prove that he’s…” The woman stopped, glanced at her son and couldn’t continue.

“Was there a mistake?” Terry asked.

“No,” Eric said.

“Yes,” Gabi answered.

“Which is it?” Ongela asked. “It can’t be both. Is Eric sterile?”

“He can’t be sterile,” Gabi bristled. “I’m pregnant.” Eric groaned beside her and she turned toward him. “It’s our baby. I haven’t been with anyone else.” She held her husband’s gaze. He was trying. “Baby, I’m telling the truth.”

Eric’s eyes closed and he got up. “I need a drink.” He walked into the kitchen and Gabi sat before his parents alone. They were staring at her.

“Gabi, did Eric’s test change?” Ongela’s voice was stern as she stared at Gabi.

“No,” she answered, “but I’m telling the truth. It’s his baby.”

“Gabi,” Ongela moaned and walked out the room. Gabi was left with Terry. If Ongela, her main support had left the room, she hated the thought of what her father-in-law would think. “I didn’t cheat on Eric, Dad. I never have.”

Terry was sucking air through his teeth, trying hard to find a way to believe her. “You tell me, Gabi, you’re the professional here. If his tests didn’t change, how could he be the father? Gabi, we know how much you want a baby, honey. We can forgive you, but don’t ask us to believe you. This is nonsense. You’re our daughter, pure and simple. We love you and we always will.”

Gabi’s voice was small now and she felt lost. The three most important people in her life, and none of them believed her.

“I’m not getting rid of it,” she muttered.

“No one would want you to do that, honey. We can accept your child into our family.”

Gabi bit her lips. It’s your grandchild.”

“It will be our grandchild. We’ll accept it, just as we accepted you into our family and into our hearts.”

Gabi looked around. Eric wasn’t coming back. She went into the kitchen after him. She stared at his back. His long arms were wrapped around his torso and his head was bent. He was moving back and forth rocking his body. She called his name softly. “Eric.” He turned toward her and she could tell he’d been crying. He was still rocking.

“Not now, Gabi, not now. I’m trying, just give me a little time. I’ve wanted to give my parents this announcement for years, but not like this. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll come back out.”

Eric turned away and Gabi walked back out of the kitchen and up the stairs to find Ongela. Her mother-in-law had always trusted her, always taken her side. She knocked on the closed bedroom door.

“Mom, can I come in for a second?” At first she didn’t get an answer, then a muffled voice came, followed by movement behind the closed door. At last Gabi heard the words she wanted.

“Come in, Gabi.”

Gabi walked in and stopped when she saw the reddened eyes of her mother-in-law. She wrapped her arms around her body in the same fashion Eric had. “I’m not lying,” Gabi pleaded.

“Gabi, you told me you were going to have an affair. Eric told us that you’ve been going to a strip club. He told us that even after he told you not to, you still went back and that he’d found you there with your old boyfriend. I was on your side. I figured he’d hurt you and you wanted to make him jealous. I never thought in a million years you would do something like this.”

Ongela turned away and it broke Gabi’s heart as she saw the woman trying to hide her emotions. The tears were streaming down her face. Gabi couldn’t hold back on her own tears. The only mother she’d ever known was turning her back on her.

I shouldn’t have lied,
Gabi thought
. I shouldn’t have told her I was going to make Eric pay. I shouldn’t have been out for revenge.

More tears came. There were a lot of things Gabi shouldn’t have done and she knew it. She should have listened to her mother-in-law and her guardian angel telling her not to seek revenge.

She’d known she’d crossed the line when she’d screamed Reggie’s name when her husband was making love to her.
God
, Gabi prayed silently.
I’m so sorry for hurting Eric, but please don’t take my entire family from me, please don’t.

She took in a deep breath. It wasn’t time for her tears; she was the one who’d inflicted pain on her family. She would have to deal with the consequences. When Ongela turned back to her, Gabi wiped her eyes. She had to listen regardless what was said.

“Gabi, I have always loved you,” Ongela began. “I’ve wanted those grandbabies you kept promising me. And in time I will love your baby and I will play grandmother to it. But don’t ask me to believe this. I’m not going to lie to you, Gabi. I don’t believe you.”

Gabi stood in the middle of the floor, tears running down her cheeks. “Please,” she begged.

“Gabi, go on back downstairs. I want to be alone. I just don’t feel like talking to you about this now. I’m so disappointed in you. I never expected you to hurt me like this. I’ve always gone to bat for you, always taken your side, but on this, no, Gabi. I can’t take your side on this. Now you’d better go on back down. Eric’s probably looking for you.”

Gabi left the room. Eric wasn’t looking for her, no one was. She walked back down the stairs with a heavy heart. This was a hell of a lot harder than she’d expected. She’d known they would have doubts, but she’d never expected the entire family to be in tears, never in a million years, and definitely not because she’d just told them they were going to be grandparents.

***

“You okay, Son?” Terry had walked into the kitchen as Gabi went up the stairs.

Eric was miserable. “No, Dad, I’m not okay. How can she expect me to believe something so wild?” His eyes were brimming but the sight of his father’s tear-filled eyes stopped Eric’s tears. One of them had to be strong.