Another Chance (31 page)

An unexpected knock on her door had Jillian grabbing her gun.

"Jillian, it's just me."

Recognizing Letty's voice, Jillian set the gun down, ensured her eyes were dry, and opened the door.

"Hello, Letty."

Movement to Letty's right caught Jillian's attention and she found herself looking into Wade's indecipherable eyes.  "Wade," she acknowledged with an irritating flutter in her chest.  He shouldn't cause this reaction in her, not after what he'd said to her.

"Jillian."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Letty said.  "I was at the ranch helping Eileen with the last minute wedding preparations when I suddenly remembered I had something to ask you.  Wade was kind enough to keep me company.  For safety."  Letty's smile showed more teeth than usual.  She nodded to Jillian's apron.  "I see you're hard at work."

"Actually, your timing is perfect.  I just pulled out the last loaves."

"Oh, good!" she plunked herself on the porch, fanned herself.  "It's so blessed hot out, I could use a nice tall glass of water."

Though Jillian had planned to sit outside once her bread was done, she hadn't expected Wade to be there when she did.  Was he truly there for Letty's safety or was there another reason?  Could he have changed his mind about her?

There was no way of knowing.  His eyes watched her, but he didn't smile, didn't talk.  She wished he'd say something.  His silence was unnerving.

"Mrs. Daniels, I have to get back to the ranch.  I thought you said you only had to ask Jillian a quick question?"

"Hmm?  Oh, yes, I do.  But now that we're here we can spare a moment for a glass of water, can't we?"

Wade frowned.  His gaze shifted down the road.  Jillian's hopes fell.  Clearly he couldn't get away fast enough.

"If you need to go, Wade, I can ride Letty back."

"No!"  Letty said.  She began fanning her face in earnest.  "It's sure hot out here."

Something was amiss and Jillian knew she wasn't the only one who sensed it.  Wade wasn't looking too happy either.

"I'll get the water."  Jillian slipped inside, was pouring three glasses when Wade stepped into her small kitchen.

"She's asked for a wet cloth.  Seems suddenly the heat's gotten the best of her."

Even knowing Wade didn't want to be there, Jillian couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips.  "She's toying with us."

Wade nodded, accepted the glass Jillian passed him and drank down half before he answered.  "I know it.  Just as I knew Ma was involved when Letty told me she needed to come over here right away."

"Didn't she ride alone to the ranch?"

"Yeah, but here it's...different."

Because, though nothing had happened since Whiskers' death, Jillian and her home remained targets.  And she was only a target because of what she chose to do.

"If you'll excuse me I'll get this to Letty."

"Jillian-" Wade grabbed her arm.  He didn't hurt her but his firm grip held her in place.  "It's not that I don't enjoy seeing you."

"A pity then, isn't it," she said yanking her arm free, "that I'm so unworthy of those feelings."

The sounds of galloping hooves coming from the open front door broke through the tension.  They darted to the porch.  Letty was already barreling down the road, a haze of dust hanging in her trail.

"Those two planned this," Wade muttered.

Jillian had no doubt who he was referring to--his mother and Letty.  She also had no doubt why they'd done it.  Clearly, though, they didn't know what had transpired between her and Wade or they would have known that any effort toward matchmaking was futile.

"Well, this way you're free to leave."

Jillian went back into the house, set the two full glasses of water onto the table.  Wade was right there when she turned around.  She smelled the salt on his skin, felt his heat add to her own until she thought she'd burn.  Didn't he know what having him close did to her?

He brushed her forehead with his fingertips.  Jillian felt the power of his touch to her toes.  She forced herself not to show it.  She'd already told him how she felt.  She'd rather be struck mute than admit it again.

"Flour," he said.

Of course.  He hadn't touched her because he needed to, because he felt as though his next breath depended on the contact.

"You need to leave."

Though he nodded agreement, he didn't step away.  "I never meant to hurt you."

  He didn't touch her, but he didn't need to.  His gaze held her in place as strongly as any physical bond.  When he looked at her that way, as though nothing else mattered but her, it was easy to believe he meant what he said.  And, dear heaven, how she wanted to believe him.  Her fingers twitched with a fierce desire to reach into his open collar and feel the heat of his skin, the ridges of his stomach.

Instead she steeled herself and backed away.

"Wade, you really need to go.  I can't-" she tugged at the collar of her dress.  "I can't breathe."  Now that the bread was done rising and baking, she opened the windows to let the heat out.

He was leaning against her counter when she'd finished.  "Are you coming to the wedding?"

Did his steady gaze mean he wanted her there or he hoped she wouldn't?  "I am.  Your mother has asked me to stand with her and Letty."

"She did?  I didn't know that."

"I was surprised when she asked.  Surely she had more friends she could have asked."

"She's very fond of you."

Having him so near, so formal, was fraying her nerves.  "I like her, Wade.  And despite what's happened between you and I, I plan on remaining her friend."  Even if she moved, Jillian had decided she wouldn't let go of the friendships she'd made here.  They may become friendships kept by correspondence, but Jillian wouldn't lose them.

Wade stepped to her, cupped her cheek.  "It's not that I don't wish it could be different between us."

At his touch, everything in Jillian sizzled.  She wouldn't settle for less than love and respect.  Marriage.  But that didn't mean the time they'd spent together wasn't special to her.  Pushing onto her toes, Jillian kissed his cheek.

His eyes were indecipherable.  "What was that for?"

"Despite how it ended, I don't regret anything."

He froze for the briefest second, then yanked her hard against his chest and opened his mouth over hers.  It never occurred to Jillian to fight him.  Clutching his shoulders, she allowed him into her mouth.  In the silence the sound of their mouths mating was sinful.  Exciting.

How could this be wrong? she thought, when they fit so perfectly together?  When his touch made her burn and his kiss melted her knees?  Why couldn't he see that, together, they were better than they were apart?

A sound permeated the fog that swirled through Jillian's head.  "Letty's come back," she whispered as they stopped kissing long enough to gulp air.

Wade's eyes took a moment to focus.  "What?"

Jillian smiled.  "There's a rider coming in the yard.  Don't you hear it?"

He ran a hand down his face, took deep breaths.  "Yeah.  Guess she figured she's given us enough time."

Only it wasn't Letty.  It was Mary, the mother of the child she'd given Zeke to.  She didn't seem to notice Wade, or if she did, she didn't care.  Her frantic eyes were fixed on Jillian.

"What is it, Mary?"

"Our mare foaled, but the birthing sac hasn't come out.  We can see part of it, but we're afraid to pull on it."  She wrung her hands.  "This has never happened to us before."

"I'll get my bag."

Wade caught up with her in her bedroom.  Jillian couldn't help pausing a moment as she remembered the last time he was in her room.

"I'm going with you."

Though nobody had called on her, she nonetheless opened her bag and checked she had everything.  "That's not necessary," Jillian said, brushing past him to the kitchen cupboard she'd set aside for her medicines.

"I'm not leaving you to ride alone."

Jillian paused in her choices, knew by his set jaw he wasn't going to change his mind.   "Fine.  How fast can you saddle Hope?"

Wade loped outside and Jillian tossed some cloths over her bread to keep the flies off.

Outside, she turned to the woman who'd come for her.

"Mary, I'll help you, but I need to be prepared.  How angry will your husband be that you fetched me?"

"Justin won't be angry.  He's the one who sent me."

***

"You don't have to stay."

Hell, after what he'd seen today, there wasn't any place else he'd rather be.  She'd calmly examined the horse, soaped her hands and arms and reached inside the animal.  Since Wade knew first hand just how tender her touch could be, he knew the mare was being well taken care of.  Soon after, she'd pulled the placenta free.

As a precaution she'd then rinsed out the uterus with warm salted water after which she'd examined the colt and its mother and while both were deemed healthy, Jillian had decided to stay the night in the barn, to be nearby in case the mare hemorrhaged.  Though it wasn't said aloud, he knew she'd been thinking of his cow.

"I didn't like the idea of you sleeping out here by yourself.  Besides, I rode back and let Ma and Annabelle know so they won't worry."

Jillian sat in a clean stall, on top of the pallet that had been made for her.  For propriety's sake, he'd made his own across the aisle.  The heat was easing, but not enough to require blankets just yet.  She rested her head tiredly against the wall.

"Coming back will only encourage her."

"I know."  And at the moment, he couldn't say that bothered him.

He was still in awe of what Jillian had done earlier.  When she'd done surgery on his cow, it had been his animal's life in the balance and he'd been too worried and later too devastated to fully appreciate what she had done.  Today, he'd been able to stand back and watch without all the emotions blocking his judgment and Lord, what he'd seen.

She had a calmness about her that seeped into the animals she tended.  She didn't rush, despite the worried owners who urged her to hurry.  And she was skilled, there was no question.  He'd heard of men being called to the church, that God spoke to them.  Well, Wade had no doubt Jillian had felt the same calling, only hers was to animals.  Did that make hers any less important?

"I know I said it before, but I really am sorry for what I said to you after my cow died.  You're too skilled and too compassionate for it to have been anything but one of those things that was out of your control.  I'm sorry I ever questioned your talents or your integrity."

Though he'd paid her a compliment, the words seemed to make her sad.

"Thank you."

"You learned it all at your father's side?"

"I did.  But my skills don't compare to what his were."

"I doubt that."

"Well, it's the truth."  Her chin wobbled.  "I miss him.  I wish I'd have had more time with him."

Wade thought of his own father, of the ache that never went away.  "I know what you mean."

Her smile was understanding.  "Yes, I imagine you do."

"Did he ever try to discourage you?  About being a veterinarian?"

Love blossomed on her face.  "Not once.  He accepted that it was my choice, though he did warn me it would be a difficult road.  However once he knew I was committed to it, he helped me do everything I could to succeed.  You think he should have discouraged me, don't you?"

Wade stretched his legs, shifted when the straw poked through his pants.  "I think it would take a hell of a man to not only accept that his daughter had chosen a difficult path but to help her with it as well."

She struggled not to cry, then with a tight smile said, "You're right, he was a hell of a man."

It was galling to realize that he'd be furious with any man who didn't love Annabelle for the person she was.  And yet it's what he'd been doing with Jillian.  What he'd done to Amy.  He was glad there wasn't a mirror handy.  He wasn't sure he could stomach his reflection.

Darkness fell outside.  Inside, a single lantern lit the small stall they shared.  The only noise was that of colt and mother breathing a few stalls down.  Jillian hid her yawn behind her hand but there was no masking the shadows beneath her eyes.

Not even trying to resist, Wade shuffled to her side, put his arm around her shoulders.

"Don't-"

"Shh.  Just lean on me."  He guided her head to his shoulder.  "I'll go to my own bedroll once you're asleep."

He held her while her breathing evened and her body eased into sleep.  Then he gently laid her down.  Instead of going across the aisle, however, he lay next to her, watching, thinking.

Hoping.

***

After watching Harvey race out of town the other day, Shane had saddled up and ridden to the closest town.  From there he'd sent a telegram to Boise asking for information on Harvey.  He'd also given the telegraph operator extra money so that he could deliver the response as soon as it came.  In case anything incriminating was uncovered, Shane didn't want to alert Harvey's friend Robert, who ran the office in Cedar Springs.