Another Chance (19 page)

"I hope you don't mind me stopping in like this."

"Of course not.  Why would I mind having a friend pay me a visit?  Come in, I'll get us some tea."

As they had the last time, they took their seats at the long bar in the saloon.  The doors were locked but a few passers-by stopped and looked twice to see who Silver was entertaining.

"I'd meant to come earlier, but unfortunately I had some unpleasantness to deal with at home and by the time I got it sorted out and cleaned up, I was later coming in than I'd planned."

"It's no problem, Jillian.  I don't open the doors until four o'clock.  That allows me to clean the saloon from the night before and do any errands I may have.  Or, on rare days like today, it allows me to enjoy the company of a friend."  Silver took a dainty sip of her tea.  "Did you want to talk about this 'unpleasantness'?"

Jillian expelled a deep breath.  It was tempting, so much so that the words crawled up the back of her throat.  But she hadn't come to lay her problems at Silver's feet.

Instead she smiled.  "It's nothing important."

"Is that why your cheeks are pink?  Why, when I opened the door, you were blowing more vapors than a steam train?"

Too late, Jillian realized she hadn't taken the time to straighten her appearance.  She'd been so angry; she'd raced to the feed mill, feeling her hair yanking from its braids the whole way.  But she'd been too furious to worry about her appearance.  Her fingers caught in the tangles and she dropped her hands, knowing it was pointless.

"I'm surprised you let me in."  And no doubt it had given Steven extreme pleasure to see her so agitated.

Silver laughed.  "And miss the reason for your dishevelment?  Not a chance!"

Jillian's cheeks warmed further, and it had nothing to do with the tea she drank.

"I'll respect your privacy if you don't want to tell me, but I'd really hoped we were becoming the kind of friends that would confide in each other."

"I'd hoped that as well."  Jillian set the cup onto the saucer.  "I haven't had close women friends.  Even my sister and I weren't very close.  As to the other women back home," Jillian scoffed.  "None of them understood my desire to be a veterinarian.  While they were sleeping or attending parties, I was with my father, learning about animals and getting unfashionably dirty."

"Which doesn't make for polite conversations over afternoon tea?"

Her gaze met Silver's and a burden slipped off her shoulders as she realized Silver would understand.  She didn't imagine most women would want to know about the goings on in a saloon either.

If they were to confide in each other, there was no time like the present.  "Steven was in my barn," she said.  "Either late last night or early this morning."  Jillian shook her head.  "Doesn't matter which.  Anyhow, he ripped open all my feedbags and wasted over half of my oats.  And my hay's missing."

"Are you sure it was Steven?"

"I didn't see him do it, if that's what you're asking.  But he owns a feed mill.  If he destroys what feed I have, then who but him stands to gain?  Besides, you saw him at the meeting.  And it's no secret he hates me."  She told Silver about Fred and how Steven had reacted to Jacob's fetching her to help.

Silver slapped her palms on the bar.  "Why I have a mind to refuse him when he comes in on Friday.  If that pompous-"

Jillian grabbed Silver's hand.  "No, don't.  Don't get involved.  Besides," she added when Silver tried to protest, "knowing that his money is going to you when he comes in here," she shrugged.  "It makes me glad."

Smiling, Silver shook her head.  "All right.  But if I hear one word out of his mouth about you…"

"Then you do whatever you want," Jillian answered.

"Agreed."  Silver poured more tea, took her seat next to Jillian.  "Now, you'd said you were coming anyway, but that Steven's prank delayed you.  Was there another reason for your visit other than my great company?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, well."  It seemed like days not hours ago that she'd been excited to visit Silver.  "If you're sure you have time."

"Other than having to open the saloon in-" she took out a pocket watch, checked the time and dropped it back into her pocket-"ten minutes or so, I am at your disposal."

Jillian dropped her gaze to her lap, twisted her fingers together.  When she'd envisioned coming earlier, she'd hoped to discreetly learn more about Wade.  She hadn't been able to stop thinking of his kiss and wondering what it had meant to him.  Surely he wasn't courting anyone else to kiss her that way, but she had no way of knowing.  She'd thought that perhaps she could weave him into a conversation.  She'd never imagined that Silver would outright ask her the reason for her call.

"It's about Wade, isn't it?"

Jillian's head came up so fast the room spun.  "What makes you ask that?"

"Oh, I don't know.  Perhaps it's the look you get in your eyes when you talk about him.  Or the way your cheeks flushed when he came into the town meeting.  Or," she added, tongue in cheek, "the fact that he was so grateful to you for fixing up his head when he fell that he kissed you."

"How do you know?" Jillian gasped.

"It's all right, you're hardly the subject of town gossip."  She grinned, tossed her blonde hair over shoulder.  "Well, you are, but not because you kissed Wade.  Eileen was in town and I happened to be at the mercantile when she was telling Letty about your-" she giggled.  "Doctoring skills."

If the tea had been cold, she would have pressed the cup against her heated cheeks.  Instead she settled for her palms, but they were as hot as her face.

"Wade is an attractive man."

Jillian thought of Wade, shirtless and sweaty.  Of the texture of his face as she'd bathed him.  Of his lips expertly caressing hers.

"Apparently you agree as your face is redder than a tomato."

Silver grinned, all the while watching Jillian as though she were a pot of water set on to boil.

"Yes," Jillian conceded.  "Wade is a handsome man and I enjoy being around him."

"And just how many times have you 'been around him'?" Silver asked.

Despite her embarrassment, Jillian couldn't help but laugh.  Silver was right, having a friend to discuss such matters was indeed special.

"That was our first kiss."

"The first of many?"

If it were only a matter of thinking of the rush of emotion she'd felt in Wade's arms, the answer would be simple.  But there was more to consider.  Frowning, Jillian pushed her empty teacup aside.

"What is it?  Clearly it isn't a lack of attraction.  And I know Wade, he's a good man, so it can't be that."

"No, it isn't that.  I've already seen the kind of man he is and there's no faulting him there.  It's me."  Her gaze met Silver's.  "I was engaged back home.  Clint and I had courted for months, he was from a good family, treated me well.  He didn't seem to mind that I was a veterinarian."

"But…"

"But as the wedding day drew nearer he made it very clear that I was expected to give up 'the foolishness of being a doctor and become a proper wife.'"

"Then he was an idiot.  Who says you couldn't do both?"

Jillian grasped Silver's hand, squeezed.  "Thank you.  It's what I told him as well, but he was adamant.  It was all about his reputation, you see.  So when he said it was him or being a doctor…"

Silver laughed.  "Good for you, Jillian.  You'd have never been happy otherwise."

"I know.  As did my father.  And funnily enough, it was the only time I could remember agreeing with Katie on anything.  She's my sister," Jillian added when Silver looked confused.

Someone tapped on the door.  Silver glanced at her pocket watch, signaled to the patron she'd be five minutes.

"Jillian, we're going to have to finish this another time, but let me say this, if you're worried Wade would do the same, don't be.  Amy was a midwife, much to her mother's dismay."

"Her mother didn't approve?"

"Mrs. Hollingsworth approve?  I think not!"

Jillian nearly fell off her stool.  "Wade's wife was Mrs. Hollingsworth's daughter?"

"Indeed.  She wasn't happy her daughter had chosen a rancher, and then to become a midwife…poor woman had the vapors for weeks.  Anyhow, that wasn't my point.  The point is that Amy didn't become a midwife until after she'd had Annabelle.  So if you're worried Wade wouldn't want a woman who has work outside her family, don't."

Hope bright as the sun that beamed onto the saloon floors spread within Jillian's chest.  Was it truly possible she could have a man and be a doctor?

The knocking returned, louder and more insistent.

"I'll be right there," Silver hollered.

Jillian helped Silver carry their cups and saucers to the back kitchen.

"I'm so glad you stopped by.  I hope you'll do it again."

"I will.  As I hope you'll ride over sometime so I can return the favor.  After all, I've yet to find out if there is a man you have your eye on?"

Silver sighed.  "Now that, Jillian," Silver said, opening the back door to the breeze and the birdsong, "is a long story and a conversation for another day.  Now, not to push you out but it's time I open this saloon.  I'll see you Saturday."

"Saturday?"

"Eileen said they were having a barn dance at the ranch on Saturday.  And since most folks will be there, there's no sense in me being here."  Silver grinned.  "You'll be wanting to get home; she mentioned Wade would be riding over to ask you."

Jillian's hands once again flew to her hair.  "Oh, dear! I have to go!"

Then, with Silver chuckling behind her, Jillian rode out of Cedar Springs as fast as she'd ridden in.

***

She'd thought him handsome at first sight, but never more so than she did as he rode into her yard.  A worn, soft-looking chambray shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows.  Pants that clung to his long, muscled legs.  His hat cast a shadow over his eyes, which only added to his appeal.  He rode closer and the sun caught the gold hair on his muscled forearms.  Swallowing was impossible.

With little more than the move of his lips and a gentle pull on the reins his horse came to a stop.  Jillian dropped the curtain and came to her feet.  She shook her legs to get the blood flowing, cast a quick glance at a mirror and, as though she hadn't rushed home to change clothes, brush out her hair until it shone, not to mention sat at the window for the last hour, slipped on a mask of surprise and opened the door.

Wade paused at the bottom of the porch.  He tipped his hat back revealing those golden eyes that she'd come to dream about.

She'd spent hours reliving their kiss, reliving and wondering if it had meant as much to him as it had to her.  Did he close his eyes and remember the way their mouths had touched?  The way they'd clutched each other when the kiss had deepened?  Did he yearn for another the way she did?

Feeling a wave of heat rush up her neck, Jillian cleared her throat.  Then, mortified to realize she was still standing in the doorway, closed the door behind her and stepped to the edge of the porch.

Oh dear, Jillian thought.  Her porch wasn't high off the ground, only one step and she came eye-level with the open vee at his neck.  Remembering how his chest had looked naked and sweaty, Jillian couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to run her hands over that golden skin, to feel his heartbeat under her touch.  She'd never touched Clint's chest, hadn't really, she just now realized, felt a desire to.  But Wade's…

She was doing it again, standing there like a ninny.  She yanked her gaze up, nearly faltered at the heat she saw reflected in his eyes.

"I-" her voice squeaked.  Her cheeks were now completely aflame.  His lips twitched into a smile and there was nothing to do but smile in return.

"I'm sorry, I'm not usually so ungracious.  Did you want to come in?  I can make us some lemonade, or coffee if you'd prefer."

He shook his head.  "I can't stay.  I told James and Scott I wouldn't be long."

She licked her lips.  "Oh.  I see."

His gaze fell to her mouth and she saw the pulse in his neck throb faster.  Since Clint had asked her father permission's to court her before he ever talked to her on it, she'd always known how Clint had felt.  She'd never had to wonder, never had to try to gauge what a man was thinking.  But surely if she got a man's blood pumping faster he was interested, wasn't he?

Wade coughed, met her gaze once more.

"Ma talked me into having a barn dance before we fill the new barn.  Most of the town will be there, so I'd understand if you didn't want to come."

The excitement that had driven her from Silver's and chased her as she'd anticipated his invitation withered.  Was he warning her because he cared about her feelings or because he hoped she wouldn't go?

"Well, I wouldn't want to ruin the evening.  It's probably best if I-"

"Having you there won't ruin anything.  I just wanted you to be prepared, is all.  I'm having this dance to make Ma happy and it would make her happy if you were there."

Despite fearing his answer, she asked it anyway because it wasn't in her nature not to go after what she wanted.