Anno Dracula (55 page)

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Authors: Kim Newman

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CHARLES

Turn?

ARTHUR

You understand, Charles. You must become... as I am.

CHARLES

A vampire.

ARTHUR

Indeed. You can’t know what it’s like. It’s life.

CHARLES

Some say it’s death.

ARTHUR

Pshaw. Penny is lovely, Charles. Loveliness should not be permitted to fade. And we need men of your sort. We’ve an opportunity to make the country strong. The Prince Consort has given us this chance.

CHARLES

Dracula?

ARTHUR

We were so wrong about him in the beginning. Van Helsing and Jack Seward and myself. He came not as a conqueror but as our saviour.

During this exchange, a bell has rung in the hallway. A BUTLER, having answered the door, returns with a note for CHARLES. ARTHUR is interested. CHARLES reads and lets nothing on.

CHARLES

You’ll excuse me, Art.

FLORENCE’S HALLWAY. INT. NIGHT.

A COACHMAN waits. CHARLES puts on his cloak and hat, and draws a cane from the umbrella stand. PENELOPE comes to detain him.

PENELOPE (annoyed)

Charles, you’re not leaving so soon.

CHARLES

Sometimes my time is not my own. I’m sure Art, or Kate, will see you home.

CHARLES kisses her and tastes salt. He wipes the trace of blood off her cheek, smiles, and leaves with the COACHMAN.

PENELOPE (determined)

Charles Beauregard, things will be different once we are married.

ALLEY, WHITECHAPEL. EXT. NIGHT.

LULU lies dissected in a pool of fog that obscures her most hideous wounds. LESTRADE, a vampire, directs two CONSTABLES in examining the body. LESTRADE has rat-whiskers, a bowler hat and a sour expression. A peering mob is held back by policemen. CHARLES makes his way through.

CHARLES

Inspector Lestrade, of Scotland Yard.

LESTRADE

Mr Beauregard. It’s a bad business. (To the CONSTABLES) Let him look.

The CONSTABLES stand aside.

CHARLES (not flinching)

Like the others? Heart cut out?

LESTRADE

Neatly done with a silver scalpel. None of your wooden stake nonsense.

CHARLES

Who was she?

LESTRADE

Lulu Schön. A new-born vampire. German, we think. Common prostitute, like the others.

CHARLES

This is... what, the fourth?

LESTRADE

No one is sure. The sensation press have exhumed every unsolved East End killing of the past thirty years.

CHARLES

How many are you certain of?

LESTRADE

We’ll not even be certain of Schön until the inquest, though I’ll lay my pension on her. I make her the third, after Annie Chapman and Polly Nichols.

CHARLES

They were all, ah...

LESTRADE

Vampires, sir? Yes. Silver Knife is a vampire killer. Van Helsing would have been proud of him.

CHARLES (looking close at the remains)

This man
hates
. With a passion. The murders must be committed in a frenzy, yet there’s a coolness to the work. He kills out on the street in the open. He doesn’t just butcher, he
dissects
. And vampires
are not easy to kill.

LESTRADE (holds up LULU’s clawed hand)

He surprises them, sir. Or they’d tear him apart.

CHARLES

Our Silver Knife is not just a simple lunatic, Inspector. He has a
reason
.

The CONSTABLES lift LULU, shifting the corpse into a horse-drawn wagon. The crowd hisses. CHARLES looks at the cobbles and is reflected in moonlit blood.

LESTRADE

He must be stopped before there’s general panic. The situation is unbalanced enough as it is. These killings upset people, warm and un-dead.

CHARLES

Indubitably. It sounds like an affair for your old associate, Mr Holmes.

LESTRADE

He is not at liberty to investigate, sir. He has differences with the current government.

CHARLES

That ass Lord Ruthven, the Prime Minister, has packed him off to those pens on the Sussex Downs. What does the
Pall Mall Gazette
call them? Concentration camps?

LESTRADE (uncomfortable)

Indeed. He’s in Devil’s Dyke.

CHARLES

Well, you’ll have to catch Silver Knife yourself. I’ll make my report and see if the Diogenes Club can make any contribution.

LESTRADE (gloomy)

All help welcome, sir.

CHARLES

No doubt. I’m going to root around a bit on my own, see if anything turns up.

LESTRADE (doubtful)

If you think that’s wise.

CHARLES (waving cane)

I can look after myself, Inspector. Her Majesty’s Service has taken me to tight spots before. I’ve faced the stranglers of Bombay and the man-killers of Kilimanjaro.

LESTRADE (after CHARLES has gone)

But you don’t know the women of Whitechapel, clever sir.

§ The producers wanted to keep the Ripper’s identity secret for the bulk of the film, making it a murder mystery. While writing the novel, I briefly considered the possibility of having Seward’s phonograph diary be fake – planted by the real Ripper (yes, it would have been Arthur) to frame his old friend. I didn’t take that route because it struck me as being a bit too much like one of those 1960s William Castle or Jimmy Sangster movies which offer a surprise ending at the expense of involvement with the characters.

*     *     *

DARK PLACE. INT. DAY.

A room blacked-out against the sun. Aladdin-style lamps burn, disclosing chinoiserie. VARDALEK, burning with humiliation, stands in the light. A CHINESE GIRL is with him. Two other figures, shadowed, are in the room: the GIRL’S FATHER, a criminal mastermind, and MR YEE, an ancient Chinese vampire in mandarin robes.

VARDALEK

It is my understanding that a murder may be purchased here.

CHINESE GIRL

Many things are for sale in my father’s domain. He is the Lord of Strange Deaths. But you are of the Carpathian Guard, why should you entreat a favour of those as unworthy as we? Do you not have friends, more powerful even than my father?

VARDALEK

I do not wish to involve the Prince Consort in this squabble. It would be undignified.

CHINESE GIRL

You do not wish Prince Dracula to know you were bested in full view of many warm Britishers by the French girl?

VARDALEK

You impertinent celestial devil...

GIRL’S FATHER claps, silencing VARDALEK.

CHINESE GIRL

My father understands your position. Please place the coins in my detestable palm.

From a purse, VARDALEK draws gold coins, which he doles out. He stops. CHINESE GIRL’s hand is still out. He grudgingly pays more. Finally, she turns away and kneels before GIRL’S FATHER.

CHINESE GIRL

Father, the death is sought of the vampire elder Geneviève Dieudonné. Shall it be arranged?

GIRL’S FATHER claps. MR YEE steps into the light. His face is ancient, mummified with wrinkles, but his green eyes glow and his fangs are fearsome. He has a snake tongue. Even VARDALEK is disturbed. Green smoke puffs and the room is filled with light. VARDALEK finds himself alone.
*

*     *     *

COMMERCIAL ROAD, WHITECHAPEL. EXT. NEAR DAWN. The fog is thinning. OLIVER
*
walks quickly across the road, and hurries along. He passes an alley-opening and is chilled. Not wanting to, he finds himself turning round and stepping into the alley.

ALLEY, WHITECHAPEL. EXT. NEAR DAWN.

OLIVER sees a shadowy figure at the end of the alley. Red eyes glow. The fog is pooled at knee-height. OLIVER, mesmerised, is drawn on step by step. VARDALEK, more hideous than when last we saw him, bends forward, fangs extended, licking his lips.

VARDALEK

Pretty lad, come hither...

OLIVER stands by VARDALEK, who picks him up. OLIVER doesn’t struggle. VARDALEK kisses the boy’s cheek and opens his mouth to bite...

In a blur, someone fast interrupts, knocking VARDALEK down. OLIVER sprawls and backs out of the alley. VARDALEK looks up and sees HENTZAU and KOSTAKI, faces grim.

VARDALEK

Comrades...

COMMERCIAL ROAD, WHITECHAEL. EXT. NEAR DAWN. OLIVER is in a panic. People gather. JAGO and his Crusaders are around. DIARMID and KATE appear on the street. A lone police CONSTABLE toots his whistle, but no more official help comes.

OLIVER

He attacked me.

VARDALEK crawls out of the alley. HENTZAU and KOSTAKI follow.

JAGO

Jack the Ripper! He’s Jack the Ripper! The Carpathian is Jack the Ripper!

VARDALEK, afraid, scurries back and cringes by KOSTAKI’s boots. The mob gets angry and closes around, repeating the accusation, spitting, cursing. OLIVER runs to KATE, who hugs him. KOSTAKI faces JAGO.

HENTZAU (reading aloud from a proclamation)

By the order of Prince Dracula, Lord Protector of These Isles, Count Vardalek is condemned for degeneracy.

VARDALEK (lost)

Degeneracy? The Prince?

HENTZAU

I am sorry, Excellency. But you’re a disgrace.

VARDALEK

Dracula would never...

HENTZAU

You don’t really know him, Count.

VARDALEK scrambles upright. He has lost his wig and looks like a pathetic
nosferatu
. His rouge runs. He tries to escape from HENTZAU but the mob are a wall. DIARMID takes notes.

HENTZAU (reading)

As an example to those who would misuse their position, Count Vardalek shall be hung in chains and exposed to the purifying light of the Sun.

VARDALEK (screeching)

Noooooo!

KOSTAKI takes hold of VARDALEK. A couple of CARPATHIAN soldiers carry an iron lattice-work cage in the shape of a man. KOSTAKI presses the struggling, screaming VARDALEK into the cage, which is locked shut. It is like a see-through sarcophagus. A heavy chain is slung through a hook on a gibbet-like arm that swings out over the street, and the cage is hoisted up above the crowd. VARDALEK rattles. JAGO, unsure how to react, is stunned.

VARDALEK

Comrades, my friends... there is a mistake, Prince Dracula could not...

The dawn breaks. KOSTAKI, HENTZAU and the CARPATHIANS step back into the shadows. Sunlight falls on VARDALEK, and his face begins to smoulder and bubble. He screeches and hangs limply in the cage. He shrivels and blackens, screams fading to whimpers. Chunks of sloughed skin fall to the cobbles and sputter in the sunlight like cooking bacon. From the mouth of the alley, KOSTAKI and HENTZAU look up at VARDALEK. The crowd has backed away. HENTZAU rolls up the proclamation.

HENTZAU (sub-titled Romanian)

A job well done, lads.

KOSTAKI (sub-titles)

It is a mistake to let them know we can suffer and die. The Prince has made a mistake.

HENTZAU (sub-titles)

Vardalek was a fucking monster, Kostaki. Out of control. Ravening. There’s only room for one such.

They look up at VARDALEK. We follow their gaze, passing the faces of OLIVER, KATE, DIARMID, JAGO, CATHY, MARY, the CHINESE GIRL
§
. LESTRADE hurries up and is shown HENTZAU’s warrant. VARDALEK, still feebly struggling, is not truly dead. He is in despair. We climb up, to look down on
VARDALEK. Everyone looks up at the rising sun. A shadow falls on them all, huge and batwinged. JAGO crosses himself. HENTZAU salutes.
#

*     *     *

ABOVE LONDON. EXT. DAWN.

We fly over the city on huge batwings.

GYMNASIUM. INT. DAY.

The Victorian equivalent of a squash club. Young men in pairs fence, heavily masked and padded. Servants bear refreshments on trays. ARTHUR, in white fencing clothes, waits, hefting a foil, piercing imaginary opponents. CHARLES arrives, similarly dressed, late.

CHARLES

My apologies, Art. I didn’t make it to bed until nearly dawn.

ARTHUR

Vampire hours, old man. Penny tells me you’re quite the rake, mysteriously absent at all hours.

CHARLES

Duty, I’m afraid.

ARTHUR

Duty. Can’t be doing with it.

They face each other on a mat. A few of the others break off to watch this bout. CHARLES swishes his foil and reaches for a face-mask.

ARTHUR

Mind if we have a bash without the masks, Charles? They get infernally in the way.

CHARLES (not sure)

If you insist.

ARTHUR

I do. Now, defend your lady’s honour...

Before CHARLES is quite ready, ARTHUR slashes at him. CHARLES parries, awkwardly but effectively.

ARTHUR

Very neat, Charles.

ARTHUR tries another attack. CHARLES strains to fend him off. The match continues. ARTHUR is all effortless moves and confidence, making comments. CHARLES is stretched, silent, concentrating: outclassed by the vampire, but determined to give a good account of himself.

ARTHUR

I hear tell you’re involving yourself in this Ripper business. (CHARLES grunts.) Nasty affair. No credit in it. Do you have any ideas?

CHARLES (warding off an especially underhand thrust)

Not as yet.

ARTHUR

Pity. The PM would be grateful for a speedy conclusion.

CHARLES

So would some other scoundrels I met with last night.

ARTHUR

You are seen too much with scoundrels. Penny is beginning to tire of it. (He deliberately scrapes CHARLES’s face.) Sorry, old man. Very careless of me.

With cold determination, CHARLES does not lose his temper. He
out-fences ARTHUR and touches him with sword-point several times on the torso.

ARTHUR

I say, you’re ahead, aren’t you.

ARTHUR moves inhumanly fast, pinning CHARLES to the wall, foil-edge at his throat. His fangs are extruded. CHARLES’s sword arm is held, gripped at the wrist.

ARTHUR

That about settles it, though.

ARTHUR licks the trickle of blood from CHARLES’s cheek, and lets him go. Servants arrive with drinks. ARTHUR has a goblet of blood, CHARLES orange juice.

ARTHUR

You’re still a better fencer than I, Charles. But you can’t hope to match a vampire for speed. You seem to move like a snail. I can see what you’re going to do before you’ve decided to do it.

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