Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (7 page)

A million different thoughts charged through my mind. “It’s not that I don’t like you or don’t find myself attracted to you, but you’re leaving in a few days.”

“I’m staying until after Christmas,” he said, as if that made any difference at all.

I shook my head. “Okay, but you’re a soldier, and I can’t ever be involved with another soldier. I was a military wife for nearly four years. I’ve served my time. I’ve seen the stress my mother has endured with my father, and I don’t want to ever do that again.”

“I know,” he said, looking away.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you last New Year’s Eve, and I shouldn’t have kissed you now.”

“It’s okay.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he stopped me. “Anna, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it, okay? I’ll go.”

He excused himself with a quick nod and strode across the salon. Everything inside me screamed for him to stay. I wanted him to turn around and fill the emptiness that had become my constant companion—not since I’d lost Marcus—but since Nick had taken my hand to jump into the air at the stroke of midnight.

I knew I could stop him by calling his name. Instead, I remained silent, letting him go.

And letting a piece of my heart go with him.

O
n Monday morning,
my son went to Houston with Nick, Hailey, and Gabby. Before they left, I gave Travis strict instructions to stay with Nick and to keep away from the snake at Bubba’s pet store.

All morning, I tried to focus on my work, but my mind continued drifting to Nick. I was like a kid in middle school, obsessed with something that wasn’t good for me.

“What exactly happened while you were washing Nick’s hair?” Bianca asked as we cleaned our stations between clients.

She’d asked the question earlier, but I’d avoided it by luring her into a conversation about an old episode of
Downton Abbey
. This time, I tried distracting her with questions about reordering shampoo.

She pinned me with her gaze. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m not going to let you off so easily.”

To my relief, the salon door opened, and my oldest sister-in-law, Jillian, entered. Jillian worked as a nurse in elder care. She was a divorcée with two teenage boys, and she had the most beautiful, thick, long honey-brown hair.

As Jillian followed me back to the sinks to have her hair washed, Bianca trailed behind, excited to relay the news that Travis had gone to Houston with Nick and the girls today.

“Am I missing something?” Jillian asked, taking a seat. “I have a feeling I should be outraged.”

Bianca leaned against the counter. “Well, Anna doesn’t know Nick very well, so I’m surprised she let a
stranger
take her son off the island. Last time I wanted to take Travis to the Rose Museum, she practically made me take a driving test.”

“No, I didn’t.” I turned on the faucet and held my hand underneath the water to test its temperature. “Anyway, Nick isn’t a stranger. He’s my next door neighbor. I figured if the United States government can trust him with equipment worth millions of dollars, maybe I should, too.”

Bianca scoffed and addressed her older sister. “All I know is, when he stopped by the other day, I took the baby to run errands while Anna cut his hair. I wasn’t gone more than five minutes when he came rushing into the bank, insisting he had to leave. His hair was wet, and I noticed a dab of lipstick on his bottom lip.”

“That’s not true.” I protested.
Was it?

Bianca tapped her own bottom lip. “Right here. It was a coral color, kind of like . . . hey, it was kind of like the color you’re wearing, Anna.”

My cheeks reddened, but I lathered Jillian’s hair and tried to ignore Bianca’s accusations. “Give it a rest. Please?”

“
Oh, my
 . . .” Bianca said.

Jillian brushed water off her forehead. “What?”

“It’s worse than I thought.” Bianca’s tone was dramatic. “She
really
likes him.”

I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around Jillian’s head. “Nick and I are friends. That’s all.”

Bianca winked at Jillian. “And that’s why she kissed him again. Right here in the salon. Probably here at the sinks, in that very same chair you’re sitting in, Jillian.”

I tried to hold back my smile, but it refused to stay hidden. “I honestly don’t remember.”

“You did!” Bianca clapped her hands. “That’s wonderful and deliciously unprofessional at the same time. Give us the details.”

Shaking my head, I walked Jillian back to my station as Bianca skipped alongside, begging for information.

“Don’t you have something more important to do than meddle in my personal life?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No, not really.”

Jillian sank into the salon chair, her expression somber and lacking the excitement of Bianca’s. “Nick is the soldier you kissed last New Year’s Eve, right? He’s Ethan Peterson’s brother.”

“That’s right,” Bianca said. “Of course, you didn’t get to meet him because you went with
Bryan
to his parents’ house in Dallas instead of spending New Year’s with your family. And you missed the funeral because you were picking up
Bryan
from the airport.”

Jillian rolled her eyes. Bianca wasn’t one to hold back her opinion, and she often expressed disdain for Jillian’s new boyfriend, secretly calling him Boring Bryan.

The front door opened, and Bianca’s next client, the Morgan family’s favorite veterinarian, Dr. Lindsay, entered the salon. “How are y’all doing?” she asked in her usual cheerful manner.

“Wonderful,” Bianca answered. “We’re discussing Anna’s new love interest. That gorgeous Nick Peterson.”

Dr. Lindsay tucked a strand of strawberry blonde hair behind her ear and smiled at me. “You have a new boyfriend?”

“No, I don’t.”

Bianca waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t listen to her. Come on back, and I’ll tell you all about it while I wash your hair.”

I shook my head, refusing to engage in the usual salon gossip and banter, especially since it involved me. Turning back to Jillian, I combed out my sister-in-law’s hair.

“I can’t stop thinking about the Peterson girls,” Jillian said. “And then I think about Travis growing up without knowing his father . . . it just seems so unfair.”

I rested a hand on her shoulder. “It’s a shame that Travis hardly knew Marcus, but he knows you and your boys. He knows Vicki and Bianca and your parents. Every day, he experiences his father’s goodness reflected in your family.”

She wiped her eyes. “Have you been in therapy or something, Anna? You sound so well adjusted.”

I laughed. “Therapy, yes. Well-adjusted? I don’t know about that. I’m just trying to—”

“Move on?” she offered.

I bristled.
Moving on
sounded too much like forgetting, and I didn’t want to forget about Marcus. “I’m trying to be grateful for what I have and not dwell on what’s missing.”

She nodded. “That’s a good policy. I’m trying to focus on the positive in my life as well. I think there’s something valid to the whole gratitude movement.”

“I agree.”

Over the next several minutes, I lost myself in the rhythm of my work . . . dividing Jillian’s hair into sections, grasping a strand between my fingers, and cutting it at an angle to give her the soft look that best framed her face. A country station played in the background and various artists sang about love, God, America, and old pickup trucks.

When I finished Jillian’s haircut, she asked if the Kempners were planning on adopting Hailey and Gabby.

“I’m not sure.” I described the chaotic meeting with Caroline and Doug’s family. “Nick doesn’t think he can provide the girls a stable home, but I don’t know what he’s going to do.”

Jillian glanced over her shoulder at Bianca and lowered her voice. “Is she right in saying that something is going on between you and Nick?”

I couldn’t help but smile as I slid smoothing gel over Jillian’s hair. “Nothing’s going on. I kissed him again, but nothing can come of it. He’s here only temporarily. Once he figures out the girls’ situation, he’s leaving.”

“So you don’t see yourself getting involved with him?”

“No. He’s army. You know what that’s like.”

“Yes, I do.” Jillian’s tone was bitter. It was no secret she blamed the military for her divorce.

Her ex-husband, Keith Foster, had been the company commander when Marcus was killed. I’d never held Keith responsible for Marcus’s death, but Keith hadn’t been able to overcome the loss. Marcus’s death dramatically changed him, leaving him angry and prone to alcohol abuse.

“You know,” Jillian began with a false cheerfulness, “Bryan has a golfing friend. A dentist named Mitch Norman. He’s recently divorced, handsome, and very sweet. And he just bought a house on the island because he’s planning on staying. I think you’d really like him. How about I set something up for the four of us?”

Bianca glared from across the salon and mouthed the words, “Don’t do it.”

“I think you met Mitch at church a few Sundays ago,” Jillian continued. “He’s that good-looking guy with the straight white teeth?”

“Oh, sure. I remember him.” I’d spoken to Mitch briefly, and while he was pleasant, I hadn’t felt any spark between the two of us.

“Well, what do you think?” Jillian asked. “Are you interested?”

I thought about it for a minute. Maybe going on a date with Mitch would take my mind off Nick. “Sure. Why not?”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

Later, after Jillian and Dr. Lindsay left, Bianca shot me a disapproving glare. “Are you seriously going to let my sister fix you up with one of Bryan’s golfing friends?
Boring Bryan
? Mr. Excitement himself?”

“Bryan’s not so bad.”

“Well, he’s no Nick Peterson,” she insisted.

No kidding,
I thought.

*

After lunch, Nick
called to explain they’d had car trouble and were stuck just north of the island waiting for parts. Tense, I hung up the phone and explained the situation to Bianca who didn’t see any need for alarm. “I don’t know why you’re worried. They’ll be home soon.”

“I know.” Of course I agreed it wasn’t healthy to worry, but that was the problem. I couldn’t seem to stop unfounded fears from taking over my thoughts.

Bianca made a disapproving clucking sound. “I can only imagine what’s going through that irrational mind of yours. Why don’t you stop biting your lip and throw in a load of laundry.”

“Yes, boss.” I scooped the towels out of the hamper and took them to the washing machine. Would I ever be able to conquer my anxiety issues? Would I ever be able to trust God’s promise that all things worked together for good for those who loved Him? And what about flying? Would I ever find the courage to get back in the helicopter?

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly as I was fully booked and had little time to think, let alone worry. Around five, I talked to Nick over the phone. He said the mechanic was installing the broken part, and they’d be home shortly. I tried to feel relieved, but I desperately wanted to jump in the car and pick up Travis myself.

“Why don’t I bring Chinese takeout to your house so you don’t have to wait alone,” Bianca suggested, wiping down the counter.

“You don’t have to do that. I know they’re fine. I just need to work through my anxiety.”

“Are you still taking the medicine the doctor gave you?”

I shrugged. “Not really. I don’t like how it makes me feel flat and unmotivated.”

“Well, flat and unmotivated might not be such a bad thing because you’re about to chew off your lip, and it’s freaking me out.”

I pressed my lips together and reminded myself to breathe. “I’ll be fine.”

“Will you? I’m afraid if I leave you alone to wait, and it takes longer than expected, I might read about your breakdown in the
Island Sun
tomorrow morning.”

“Very funny.” I pressed my palms together and shifted my weight to stand in tree pose, one of the few yoga positions I regularly practiced. “I’ve gotten better, haven’t I?”

“You have. But let me bring you dinner tonight. Besides, I need a change of scenery.”

Bianca lived in a studio apartment above the salon. Many of the shops on Main Street boasted upstairs living quarters, including Vicki’s Bakery. Both sisters loved the convenience and excitement of being downtown, but the arrangement could occasionally become stifling.

“If I’d be doing you a favor by allowing you to bring me Chinese food, then how can I refuse? Should we invite Vicki?”

Bianca shook her head. “She has a date. Besides, it’s difficult to indulge in Huan’s greasy egg rolls when Ms. Skinny Minnie is around.”

I laughed. “True.”

We closed the salon and I rode my bike home, grateful for Bianca’s friendship. From the beginning, I’d liked all of the Morgan sisters, although I was closest to Bianca. Not just because of our work situation, but because she made me laugh and helped me put life’s problems into perspective. We also shared a love of reading, greasy Chinese food, and romantic comedies.

At home, I made myself a cup of hot tea and ran upstairs for a quick bath. Slipping beneath the suds, I drank my tea and tried to relax. What I needed was something to distract me from constantly worrying about Travis. Nick’s face immediately popped into my mind, but I pushed it away, determined not to entertain that impossible idea.