Angie Arms - Flames series 04 (3 page)

“
So it is a boy?”

Jillian found humor in his innocent questions and laughed again.  “I will not know that until it is born.”

His eyes came back to hers and he bothered not to veil them.  “Why then do you call it a he?”

She shrugged, “I guess because I don’t want it to grow up just to be the pawn in men’s games.”

He studied her for a moment.  “What if I do not wish to grant succor to another man’s son?”

“Do not worry my Lord,” she said
, nearly choking on the words of anger mixed with misery.  “Perhaps you will be lucky and this one will die as the two before it.”

Her soon to be husband’s face
clouded over, and she saw the anger leap into it before it became as hard and emotionless as stone.  She waited for the blow that never came.  Instead he replied curtly, “We will be wed this afternoon.”  Halvor stood and began to turn from her, when her question stopped him.

“Will you be demanding your husbandly rights tonight?”

“I demand nothing of you but loyalty.”  He turned away and left the hall, calling his men to follow, and as she watched the 20 or so men he arrived with, she would swear they were all as big as her soon to be husband.  Lord help them all, but at least the size of her stomach was now a blessing, which was the only reason she could see he would not be demanding his right to her body.  As if to retaliate, it gave a mighty kick that nearly doubled her over.

~   ~   ~

Why was he surprised that Bruce's wife was carrying his child? His wife, Halvor quickly amended.  The village parson had married them in the small chapel a short time after he spoke with Jillian, in a short uneventful ceremony with only a few gathered. Why did he suddenly feel afraid when she told him of losing two other children?  Perhaps the third one would be the charm, but what force was in power here?  The third child would survive and grow up healthy and strong, or the third child would be the one to kill Jillian, and force her into the afterlife with Bruce, which would have to be in no other place but hell.  If God and the devil were in play here, what evil thing had Jillian done to deserve such a fate?

H
e watched the woman walk down the aisle toward him, and he could not help compare her to the child he watched walk down the aisle to wed Bruce.  Surprisingly, she appeared more frightened now than she had then.  The disillusionment of marriage to a brutal man he supposed.  He wished he could pull her to him, stroke her long hair that was a myriad of colors, and tell her she had nothing to fear from him.  But she would never believe him.  One did not suffer at the hands of one man, and turn around and give her trust easily to the next.

He spent the
remainder of the day familiarizing himself with his new property.  Its potential for wealth was vast for such a small holding, but it was evident its resources had been over looked.  He immediately appointed Michael, one of his own men, as acting steward, and began making arrangements for improvements and expanding the scope of the land, from not only farming but cattle and sheep once fences were repaired and fields cleared.  He also found an old grist mill and began planning for its refurbishment.   It was a contented Halvor who rode back into the bailey near sunset, but that fled at sight of his very pregnant wife struggling with a bucket she was pulling from the well.  Without a word he advanced on her, reached around her and took the handle from her hands.  Jillian gasped, spun quickly, nearly losing her balance, then brought her hands up to protect her face.  Again Halvor had a desire to kill the man who spent the past several years feeding on this woman's fear.

"You should not be lifting heavy things," Halvor
chastised, holding his hand out indicating she was to precede him to where she was taking the water.  "You should not be on your feet in your condition."

"I have no choice," she said
, dropping her hands and raising her head a notch, as she tried to regain her dignity.  "Many of my people have left over the years, so all here must work."

"Not you.  I will have my squire attend to the tasks you would normally be saddled with.  If he cannot accomplish this
, we will find another who can."

Jillian stopped so suddenly he nearly stumbled over her as she doubled over, placing a hand on the ground to steady herself as she crouched.  Immediately he
dropped the bucket, its contents spilling as he reached for her.  As soon as she felt his touch she gasped, "No," between her gritted teeth.

It wasn't much that made Halvor feel he
lpless.  He was present during his mother's pregnancies with some of his sisters, but never had he seen pain such as his wife was experiencing. 

When she began to straighten
, he offered his hand for support.  Tentatively she took it, and looked at him with surprise that he offered her his assistance.  "Is this normal?" he asked, once she was on her feet. 

It took her another moment before her breathing was back
under control.  In that time he began guiding her toward the tower, away from the hall where she had been moving.  He held one of her hands in his own for support, while guiding her with his other on her back.  He felt her stiffness and had no doubt it was due to his proximity.

"In a way," she said.

"How so?" he asked, guiding her into the small solar that was obviously her haven by the looks of the feminine touch.  He seated her gently in a soft backed chair, while taking the one opposite.

"All seems to go well until Bruce would beat me
, and then the pains would begin."

Bruce beat her while she carried his child?  Rage filled him.  "How often did he beat you?"

"More often than I wished," she said, with a small chuckle in an obvious attempt to ease the tension.

"How many times did he beat you while you carried this child?"

Halvor was appalled his wife had to take a moment to think about this.  "Eight times."

"Eight?” he was furious
, she could not have been very far along in her pregnancy when the man died.  How could he beat her that many times in such a short amount of time?  “Were they all bad?"

"They were always bad," she said
, looking anywhere but to him.

"How bad?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes were on him, studying him.  "Broken bones, unconsciousness," she shrugged her shoulders.  "After that I do not know how bad they were."

He stared at her, forcing himself to be calm.  The man he wanted to kill more than any
other was already dead.

"Bruce is no longer your husband," Halvor said suddenly.

She looked at him, her brown eyes full of fear, and he knew it was because she feared it was a cycle that was beginning over again.

"I will have our dinner brought to us here." Halvor walked to the door
, not surprised to find his squire Tate waiting outside.  The young man was the best squire Halvor he’d had yet.  From the first day, he was Halvor’s constant shadow and often anticipated what the man would need, sometimes even before he himself realized it.

After sending Tate away for their meal Halvor sat down again across from her
, and they stared at each other in awkward silence for some time.

Finally, Halvor cleared his throat.  “Do you know how it is I came to be here?”

Jillian shook her head that she did not know.

“I asked Lord Garrick for you,” Halvor said
, watching her.

“
Hawknest is a beautiful property.”

“No,” Halvor said
, shaking his head patiently.  “Hawknest had nothing to do with it.  I asked Lord Garrick to allow me to wed you.  He was most kind to give the property into my safe keeping, but it was you I came for.”

He saw the fear in her eyes, not that it ever left them.  “I know what kind of man B
ruce was.  I arrived here at Hawknest when he did.”

He watched Jillian’s eyes narrow on him.  “I was here for your wedding.  I was here that night.  I stood in front of you and tried to keep the other men away
, when he had you down on the table.”

Jillian’s throat worked and tears pooled in her brown eyes.  “The next morning I went to tell Bruce I was leaving.  I could not follow a man who could be so brutal to a child.  I found you alone in the room, on the floor where he left you.  I carried you back to your own chamber
, and saw that you were cared for before I left.”

Jillian swallowed, visibly
straightened.  “I still don’t understand.”

“No woman should have to live with a man like Bruce.  I could do nothing to stop him when he was your husband.  When I found out he was dead
, I knew I wanted to come here, and offer you the safety I couldn’t then.”

A sob came out
, and he saw the confusion and shock still warring with one another.  “But I am sure you could have a younger wife.  One that is not…”  She was obvious at a loss for words.

“Broken?”

Another sob escaped, but this one sounded as if it was mingled with a chuckle.  “So pregnant.”

“I’m sure you are right.  I would always wonder what became of you.  If your new husband treated you kindly
, or if you found yourself with another Bruce.”

“Is that your plan, to treat me kindly?”

Halvor nodded seeing the hope flash in her eyes, before it was replaced with skepticism.  Perhaps it was having so many sisters who could end up in a situation such as hers.  He knew Jillian had no one else in the world to look after her.  At least his sisters had him to execute swift punishment to their future husbands for harming so much as a hair on one of their heads.  “I will never raise a hand to you.  You’re body is yours.  I will not touch you unless I have your permission to do so.”

She stared at him
, as if suddenly he was speaking a foreign language.

“I give you my oath you are safe with me.”

Jillian looked away, shifted her position, smoothing down the fabric across her bulging abdomen.  “So what do you see this marriage being?  What are the rules?”  She pinched a wrinkle of the cloth between her fingers, before looking nervously at him.

Halvor shrugged.  “I have
not thought of it in those terms.  I guess it would be for us to be friends, and make the most of this marriage.  You have done well running this land, there is so much more that can be done with it.”

“I heard you plan to refurbish
the mill,” Jillian said, and she was like a tentative rabbit sticking its head from its burrow, sniffing the air for danger.  “I think that will be beneficial to everyone.  It needs so many things, can we…,” she stammered.  “Can you afford it?”

“Without your former overseer lining the pockets of himself and his worthless friends
, we can afford it.”  Halvor was sure to put emphasis on the “we.”

A small smile creased her lips.  It quickly faded
, and he watched the muscles in her face tighten in a wince, and then suddenly she was bent over with a gasp.  Halvor was on his feet and standing over her, dropping to a knee, he watched the pain subside, and he was staring closely into her frightened eyes. 

“Have you spoken to someone of this?” he asked
, as she pulled away to sit back in the chair.

“Who would I speak to?”

“A midwife perhaps?  Anyone who might help you with your pain.”

Jillian’s eyes studied him intently.  “I have spoken to many with experience of their own.  They do not know.”  Jillian looked away.  “
What do you know of me Sir Halvor?”

Halvor rose and walked to the hearth, studying
it intently for a moment, though he did not see it.  He saw Jillian’s tears, the way her mouth fell along the corners, and her fear widened and darkened her eyes.  That was all he needed to see so long ago to feel responsible for this woman.  He felt it now, in his chest, she was his, and he was proud to have such a brave and strong woman to share his name.  He felt warmth knowing her husband would never harm her again.

“I know this was your family’s keep,” he said turning to face her.  “For many generations.” 
He hesitated, but decided he wanted an open and honest relationship with this woman.  “I asked around that night, because I was going to take you with me.”

How could anyone’s gaze pen him to the spot as hers
did?  He felt an intensity radiating from her.  Was it anger because he had not, and left her to endure the years with Bruce?

“I thought perhaps it was best not to
ask, because of your ties to Hawknest.”  A long silence spread discomfort in Halvor.  He stepped forward with his hands spread open at his sides in a placating manner.  “Please say something.”

“I often thought of running away
, but I knew I never could.  I let my people suffer while Bruce and his men did what they wanted, I couldn’t abandon them all together.”

“I
know, that’s why I did not ask.  To be honest I don’t know a lot more about you,” he said, taking his seat again.

“I know nothing of you.”