Angel's Rest (31 page)

She followed him inside wearing only a blanket wrapped around herself. “You are healing, Gabe. Slowly but surely. I understand that you’re not yet ready to move on. But that’s as far as my mind reading goes. See, I don’t know if you’ve decided to sleep with me now because you’re ready for physical intimacy and any woman would do.”

“Hey now.” He jerked back at the low blow. “I’ve never given you cause to think that.”

“True. So maybe it’s not that I’m handier than a whore. Maybe I’m simply your rebound girl. Maybe when you finally are ready for emotional intimacy, you’ll want it to be with someone other than me.”

“Where did this come from?” Dammit, he’d felt so good just a few minutes earlier. Why was she ruining it? “You make me sound like a real ass, Nic.”

“No, you’re a man. Sometimes that’s just the same thing,” she fired back. She took a deep calming breath, then continued. “I can’t have it be a surprise, Gabe. For our babies’ sake, and, frankly, because I have strong feelings for you myself, I’m willing to roll the dice with you. But I need you to give a little in return. The times in my life when men have been able to hurt me are when I didn’t see the trouble coming.”

Strong feelings? What were strong feelings in her book? He skipped the milk and grabbed the vodka from the freezer since it was the closest available alcohol.

“You need to communicate, Gabe,” she continued. “It’s important in every aspect of our marriage, but especially when it comes to sex.”

Strong feelings. He scowled at her. Was that her way of saying she loved him?

Feeling cornered, he lashed out. “You want to communicate about sex? All right. Fine. You give good head, Nic.”

“You are such a jerk, Callahan.” She lifted her chin and gave her hair a regal toss. “It’s a good thing I’m a vet and understand how wounded animals lash out. Of course, I also know what to use to put them down. Maybe you should remember that.”

He laughed at that, poured a shot of vodka, and threw it back like water. Then, without conscious thought, he filled a mug with milk and set it in the microwave to
heat. Nic watched him and a tiny, sad smile played on her lips.

As he punched in the time, she approached him and rested her hand on his arm. “Gabe, I will never understand what it’s like for you, the complexity of your feelings, or the depth of your grief. But you are my husband and the father of my children. I care enough about you to listen with an open mind and an open heart.”

He closed his eyes. Emotion coiled within him. A part of him wanted to open up, to share how great she made him feel, to tell her that she … mattered. But a bigger part of him wanted to keep his mouth shut, sweep her up into his arms, and carry her upstairs to his bed so he could exorcise his demons in more mind-numbing sex.

“I’m asking you again, are you okay?”

“Didn’t I already answer that question?”

“You answered the superficial question. We’re sleeping together now. Surface doesn’t cut it.”

As the microwave dinged, he grabbed hold of the counter with both hands and dropped his chin to his chest. “You’re not giving this up, are you?”

“It’s too important.”

Surrendering, Gabe cleared his throat. “Here’s the thing about surface, Nic. Living on the surface, I can keep my head above water. Most times, treading is the best I can do.”

“Treading isn’t living, Gabe.”

“I know. But see, every so often, my feet find the sand. I start to think I can make it to the beach. Then, invariably and without any warning, the pain will roll in like a tsunami. It’ll flatten me, knock me right on my ass. Sometimes I can climb right up again. Other times I get caught in the undertow.”

“That’s when you need a life preserver, Gabe.”

He turned his head and looked at her. “And I find that hanging on the wall here, is that what you’re saying?”

“I can throw it to you if you want. I’ll man the line to pull you to safety. However, I need you to ask. I need to know that you want not to drown.”

“I think I’m getting a bit lost in this metaphor.” Gabe punched the button to open the microwave. He removed the mug of milk and handed it to her, saying, “Here’s the deal, Nic. You ask how I feel. Right now I feel pretty good. Hell, I feel great. I’ve missed sex. Being with you tonight was fantastic. I’d like nothing more than to have it become a regular part of my life.

“That said, I’d love to be able to say that I’ve put my guilt and ghosts behind me for good. But I can’t promise that. I’m not trying to be a jerk here. I know it’s not fair to you, and it makes me feel like a bottom-feeder to say it, but no matter how good I feel tonight, I know there’s a chance I’ll wake up in the morning feeling like I cheated on Jen.”

“Fair enough.” She nodded, and a little smile played upon her lips. “Thank you for talking to me, Gabe. That’s what I need. I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m ready to be patient and understanding and a veritable tower of strength—as long as you don’t shut me out.” She sipped her milk, then set the mug down. Holding out her hand toward him, she suggested, “Now, why don’t you take me to bed?”

The band around his chest relaxed, and the corners of his mouth tilted up. “A bed? Really? With a mattress and everything?”

“With a mattress and everything.”

He took hold of her hand. “Your room or mine?”

“Doesn’t matter.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “Pick one, and let’s make it ours.”

If not for the lingering soreness in her leg, Nic would have skipped down the street as she made her way to Sarah’s house to put the final touches on plans for Lori’s
upcoming birthday party. Life was good. In the week since Pam showed up at the clinic, Gabe had spent every night in her bed and burrowed his way deeper into her heart.

Today he’d come by the house for lunch and brought her flowers.

Ali Timberlake pulled up in front of Sarah’s house as Nic turned the corner of Sixth and Aspen. Ali was in town visiting her son, Chase, who was working at the Double R, and Sarah had invited her to stop by and share the scoop on what was all the rage in the way of teenage birthday parties in Denver this year. Nic clucked her tongue at the sight of Ali’s little red BMW convertible. That was one gorgeous car.

“And one happy woman,” she murmured, watching curiously as Ali ended a phone call then threw her arms into the air and cheered. She climbed out of her car, danced a little jig, then waved at Nic. “Good morning!”

“It appears so. You look like a happy camper.”

“I am. My husband, Mac, just called. He’s been offered a federal judgeship. It’s been his dream for as long as I’ve known him.”

“That’s wonderful news. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’m so proud of him. Proud for him.” She beamed a smile at Nic, then added, “Don’t you look cute today. Love your shirt. That twist front is chic. I wish they’d had maternity tops that stylish when I needed them.”

“Thanks.” Nic rested a hand on the bump that these days seemed to be growing by the hour. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to wear it, though. This empire waist is British Empire–size. The rate I’m going, I’ll need it to be galactic empire–size.”

Ali laughed. “Before I forget, I stopped to visit with Celeste for a few minutes and Gabe flagged me down on the way out. He asked me to ask you to swing by Angel’s
Rest on your way home and pick up the boxer. Apparently he’s too curious about the rock work being done by the hot springs, and he’s making a pest of himself with the workers.”

“Oh, now. That’s a big fat lie. What’s probably happening is that there’s a dog lover or two in the group and they’re spending too much time in Gabe’s estimation playing with Tiger.”

Ali grinned and nodded. “You might be right. Celeste did say that Gabe has been spending most of his time down by the hot springs. I know dogs are loyal creatures, but I have to say that Tiger is the most dedicated dog I’ve ever seen. Especially to someone who goes out of his way to pretend he’s not the dog’s master.”

“You see that, do you? Gabe rescued Tiger from a trap last fall and the dog has been his shadow ever since. Gabe loves Tiger, but he refuses to admit it.”

“What’s the deal with his name?” Ali asked as they stepped up onto Sarah’s front porch. “When someone asks what his name is, Gabe says he doesn’t have one.”

Nic rolled her eyes. “What can I say? My husband is a stubborn fool.”

She rapped on Sarah’s door, then, in the way of the casual habits of old friends, opened the door and stepped inside. “Sarah? Ali and I are here.”

Sarah called down from upstairs. “I’ll be down in a minute. Make yourselves at home.”

Nic inspected the treats in the kitchen with interest and was delighted to spy not only her favorite brownies but lemon bars as well. Lemon bars now had a special place in Nic’s heart.

“Would you like coffee?” she asked Ali. “Sarah always has a pitcher of iced tea in her fridge, too. Let’s see what else she has.” Nic opened the refrigerator door and peeked inside. “Milk, bottled water, OJ, tomato juice …”

“How about a glass of iced tea?”

At that moment, Sarah breezed into the kitchen, a harried look in her expression. “Sorry. Mom’s having another bad day. I don’t think the new meds are really helping the situation at all.”

Nic took three glasses out of Sarah’s cabinet and filled two of them with ice, then poured two glasses of tea and one of milk. “Sarah, honey, you are the best daughter a mother could have, but you need to start thinking about—”

“I know. I know.” Sarah blinked back tears as she grabbed a spiral notebook and pen from the counter and sat down at the table. “Just … not yet.”

Nic met Ali’s gaze. “She’s also a little over the top about Lori’s being a senior next year.”

Ali shook her head, then reached out and clasped Sarah’s hand. “You’re allowed to be over the top. I know I get weepy-eyed thinking about Caitlin going off to school. It’s a very emotional time for both mothers and daughters.”

“Yeah, well, Lori’s emotional involvement revolves around her impatience to leave Eternity Springs,” Sarah grumbled. “Although I will say that’s changed somewhat since your son came to town, Ali. She has a serious crush on Chase.”

Ali shook her head. “He’s a horrible flirt.”

“So what’s the scoop there, Ali?” Sarah asked. “Are you glad that your son is the Double R’s newest trail rider?”

“Absolutely. Last summer he worked as a whitewater rafting guide, and I swear my gray hairs multiplied like rabbits because of it.”

Sarah nodded. “That would scare me, too.”

“A parent can know too much,” Ali told her. “It’s different now than when we went off to school. Cell phones are a tether to your kids, and I’m not sure that’s such a good thing. When I was off at college, my dad
called me at one o’clock every Sunday afternoon. That was our time. I had to be there to take his call. But the rest of the time, he didn’t know where I was or what I was doing.”

“Were you a bad girl, Ali Timberlake?” Nic teased.

She paused a moment, and a wicked little grin played upon her lips. “That depends on your definition of
bad
, I guess.”

Sarah groaned. “Maybe we should change the subject? I’d just as soon not think about a definition for
bad
right now.”

Nic studied her friend and frowned. The tight line in Sarah’s brow and the edge in her voice suggested that it might have been a really, really bad morning for Sarah, family-wise. In honor of their friendship, Nic decided to lob out a distraction. “Then I guess I’d better not say anything about Mrs. Landsbury’s definition of
bad
or the grief she’s been giving me.”

Sarah bit. “Your next-door neighbor? What’s put the bee in her bonnet?”

“She’s decided I’m misbehaving, and she’s keeping an awfully close eye on my house from an upstairs window.” Nic paused significantly, then stared at her fingernails as she added, “It’s interfering with our honeymoon.”

“Honeymoon?” Sarah’s eyes brightened with interest. “Are we talking figure of speech or the real deal?”

Nic rolled her tongue around her mouth. “The real deal.”

Sarah slapped the table. “I knew it. I knew the man would get a brain at some point. Details, girlfriend. Dish.”

Nic noted Ali’s confusion and asked, “Are you not up to date on local gossip about my marriage?”

“Um … no. It’s not really my business.”

“You’ve never lived in a small town, have you?” Sarah observed.

“No.”

“It has its challenges,” Nic replied. “Having everybody know your business is one of them. Basic facts that everyone knows are that Gabe and I had to get married in the most old-fashioned sense of the word. What fewer people know but many suspect is that it hasn’t been the happiest of circumstances. Very few people in town know that Gabe is a fairly recent widower, and he’s had a difficult time dealing with his grief. The pregnancy happened before he was ready. However, I am happy to say that he has made great strides toward moving on in the past few weeks.”

“By striding right into your bed?”

Nic grinned. “That’s part of it.”

“Hurrah for you, but excuse me a moment while I get bilious with jealousy,” Sarah said.

Ignoring her, Nic continued. “But he’s also started talking about his first wife.”

“That’s a good thing?” Ali asked.

“Yes. I think so.”

Sarah frowned, thumping her pen against her notebook. “I don’t know, Nic. Remember when I dated Danny Hardesty? It was three years after his breakup with his fiancée, but he still spent part of every date telling me how horrible she was. I felt like we needed to tell the restaurants we needed a table for three.”

“It’s different with a widower, I think,” Nic said. “Gabe doesn’t talk about her constantly, but she always has been the proverbial elephant in the room—except this elephant was a tall, dark, Sophia Loren look-alike ghost.”

“Tell me he hasn’t put her photo in your house,” Sarah said.

“No, but I recently discovered he carries a picture of her and his baby in his wallet.”

“And that’s okay with you?” Ali asked.

“Sure. I don’t want him to kick her out of his heart; I want him to make room there for me. I think that his ability to talk about his life with her makes that easier. Don’t get me wrong—if he starts to yammer on about her like Danny Hardesty did with you, I’ll reconsider. I’m walking a line here between being understanding and sympathetic and being a doormat.”