ANGEL'S KISS (A Dark Angel's Novel) (20 page)

“You haven’t seen cold yet, so don’t suppose you know what my feelings are.” Her voice was like a splash of cold water across my face.

“Whatever, Beatrix,” I said. “How do I protect myself?”

“Answer my question. What were Ellasar’s intentions? Did he say anything to you?” She sounded patient, but I could feel her tension. I stepped forward, shaking off my guardians so I could think and remember.

“During the first vision, whatever, he said he could feel my fear and emotions and he wanted to give me some peace and quiet. He took me to
Italy
, where Alan and I vacationed years ago. He said he got the idea from one of my happy memories. I could still taste the limoncello when I woke up.”

“What about when you were having sex?”

She sounded like Doctor Ruth, just nonchalantly mentioning sex. I don’t talk about sex much. I wasn’t comfortable talking about it with B now.

“
Alexandria
?”

“Yeah, yeah.” I hoped I was far enough away from Ben and Zeke that they couldn’t hear me. “This Ellasar is constantly emitting some sort of sex appeal or something. Anyway Alan and I were, you know, and it was unusually good—not that it’s not normally good.” I was rambling.

“This was different—I don’t know, more passionate. Anyway, when it was over—or, well, I thought it was over—he said in a strange voice that ‘good things are worth the wait’ and…oh, when I saw him in
Italy
he said that ‘he was patient and he’d been waiting for me and that he could answer some of my questions.’ Maybe you can explain that to me, too. Anyway, back to tonight, when I looked into Alan’s eyes, it wasn’t Alan. His eyes were pitch black and I could see Ellasar staring back at me. I tried to get away, but... then I couldn’t struggle anymore. I didn’t want to struggle anymore.”

I hung my head. The guilt threatened to swallow me. “I was lost, B. Alan didn’t remember anything about being gone, or that he wasn’t himself. How could Ellasar do that?” Without realizing it I had slumped down and was sitting near the jasmine in the dirt.

“I don’t know, dear. I’m sorry I don’t have all the answers. I’ll do my best to protect you, but you have to find the will to resist him. I told you that you are strong. The best of all of us is in you. I think that Ellasar understands that you are unique. Somehow he has been aware of you or the idea of you, and he’s been waiting.”

“You can’t protect me.” Despair clouded my vision.

“We have time. He doesn’t want you dead. He may actually protect you to a certain point. We’d be fools not to use his infatuation to take care of whoever sent that fledgling after you.”

“The guy said that the contract had been broken and that he came after me on his own. I assumed he meant that the Janecks were dead; killing the contract. Who else could have wanted me? Doesn’t that solve the problem?”

“Yes, dear, but who told them of your heritage? It’s just too many coincidences. Either someone betrayed us both, or someone got extremely lucky and stumbled upon you in this small town.”

I really did admire B’s ability to look past her emotions and see logically. Although a part of me hoped I’d never be that way.

“Okay, I won’t worry about that. I’ll let you decipher who wants me dead.” Zeke whimpered, bringing my focus back to the here and now. “Alan will be back any minute. What should I do?”

“Ben will stay close. You won’t see him, but he’ll be there. I understand we need to be discrete. I also understand that you trust this animal because he saved your life. But remember,
Alexandria
, trust is a double-edged sword.”

“Twice, B. I heard his growl just before I fell unconscious on the roof after the first attack.” B needed to understand why I trusted Zeke. But more than that, deep down I realized I just did. Something—survival instinct, maybe, I don’t know—but I trusted Zeke with my life.

“What’s his motivation? Who sent him?” B continued. “For now he seems to be a protector, so keep him close—but don’t hesitate to eliminate him if he turns on you. Another thing: if Ellasar tries to manipulate your dreams tonight, bring Zeke in with you. That may help your mind fight off his influence. I’ll try to find out more about Ellasar and what he can do.” She paused. “That’s the best I can do for the moment. Hand the phone to Ben and I’ll explain everything to him.”

I did as she asked and watched the expression on Ben’s face go from amazement to concern to anger. I guess she just told him to stand down and stay in the background.

He handed the phone back to me and said, “You better get in—Alan was trying to call. I bet he’s on his way home with your food.”

How had he known where Alan went?

“Be careful, Alex,” he said now. “I’ll be close if you need me.” He glared at Zeke and took off. He was out of sight in a second.

“Thanks for everything, Ben,” I said to the night.

“Well,” I said, looking down at Zeke. “You ready to go in?” He tromped off toward the door. I turned to follow, but my eye was drawn to the half dug-up jasmine. “What were you trying to tell me, mom?” I stepped toward the planting, but Zeke’s bark stopped me.

“You better be housebroken,” I said as I turned back to the steps. “I don’t want to have to get you fixed.” Zeke growled and I chuckled.

“A little sensitive, huh?” It was nice to know I had something to threaten him with. I grabbed my wine and took a sip. “Come on, buddy, I’ll fix up a bed for you.”

Alan arrived just after I’d arranged a few old blankets in the living room for Zeke. I thought Alan would piss his pants when he first saw him, but then his anger replaced his fear.

“Lex, what is that—animal—doing in the house?” he asked as he set the food on the counter.

“He wandered up on the porch and chased away those raccoons that are always getting into our trash. I thought I’d get him something to eat, since he’s obviously lost. I can find his owners in the morning,” I said, trying to sound sincere and logical.

“He attacked us last night, and now you’ve brought him into our house. Have you lost your mind?” Alan was right to be afraid. I should feel afraid, but I just didn’t. How could I explain that to Alan?

“I know it’s crazy, but I know he won’t hurt us.” Ooh, I thought. I can use this.

I looked up into his eyes, pleading with him. “With everything that’s happened, he makes me feel safe.” As if on cue Zeke yawned and whimpered as he put his head down. I knew I’d won when Alan sighed, took my glass of wine, and emptied the contents down his throat.

“All right. But at the first sign of aggression, he’s out of here. And be sure to look hard for his owners. Got it?” He knew I wanted to keep Zeke.

“Thanks, Alan. You won’t be sorry.” Then my stomach growled as my nose caught the scent of the food Alan had brought.

“Are you hungry? Did we work up an appetite earlier or what?” He put the glass down and snuggled up to me. I was grateful I could hide my face in his big chest, and I gained some comfort from his hug. He mistook my tighter hold for something else and squeezed me tighter in response.

“Hey, baby, I think we should eat something first. I need to replenish my strength. I have to admit, I love your attitude, though.”

I pulled out of his embrace and turned my face away to hide my anger.

“Yeah—we better eat. I’m in danger of passing out like some femme fatale from a bad romance novel.”

Alan laughed and unpacked the food, chattering away about the crowd at Tony’s. I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. Zeke watched me, aware of my real mood. He stood at attention, ready to follow me if I took off running.

“Sorry it took so long, hon, but Enzo made your favorites.” As he tasted the bruschetta, he looked around the kitchen. Did you bring the wine down?”

“Sorry, no, I didn’t even see the bottle upstairs. I’ll go get it.” I turned to go upstairs, but he stopped me.

“You relax.” He held out the chair for me. “I’ll get it.” He gave me a quick, greasy kiss before running up the steps, taking them two at a time. I picked at the bruschetta. Zeke whimpered, and I threw him some bread.

Then I remembered the steak from the other night and went to the fridge. “Here ya go, buddy, this ought to be better than bread.” I put the leftover steak and a bone on a plate and set it down. Zeke just looked at me.

“Do you want me to warm it up?”

Alan caught me putting the steak in the microwave. “Hey, if we start out feeding him steak, he’ll never want to leave.” He was being funny, but I had the same idea. I didn’t want my protector to leave.

I took the chill off the steak and set it back down. Zeke chewed it clean while we ate our dinner in silence. The wine and heavy pasta worked their magic. I was full and tired by the time I pushed away from the table. Zeke nudged me with his head and trotted over to the front door.

Alan noticed Zeke’s behavior and smiled, “I guess that answers the housebroken question.” He wiped his brow with an exaggerated movement. “Whew, one less thing to worry about.” Then he turned serious.

“I wasn’t kidding about finding his real owners, though.”

“I’ll do my best. I’d like to know whom he belongs to and why he found me, too.” I was getting good at this ‘not really lying’ thing, which scared me.

I opened the door for Zeke. “Try not to go where we might step in it,” I yelled after him. He barked in reply.

I pulled the door in but didn’t close it, remembering how my father had always said that he didn’t want to heat the outside. “That’s money just floating out the door,” he’d say. The memory brought a smile to my face until I remembered that part of my house was bashed in. I guess I was losing plenty of heat there without worrying about the door.

As tired as I was, I didn’t want to go to sleep if Ellasar would be in my dreams. How could I keep him out? I couldn’t stay awake forever; eventually I’d have to face him again. Besides, dreams weren’t my only concern. Ellasar had invaded my waking hours through Alan at the most intimate of times.

B had said to keep Zeke close and take him into the dream with me. How was I supposed to do that? I hadn’t even thought to ask her. I wondered how Alan would feel about Zeke sleeping in our room. Only one way to find out.

“Hey, Alan?” Zeke trotted back as if on cue and joined me. Alan was vigorously shaking his head. Obviously he knew what I was going to ask.

“No way, Lex. He is not sleeping with us. He’ll be comfortable down here.”

“Pleeeaaasse, just think about it. If he’s down here all alone he might get into anything. Think of all the things he could get into down here, plus he wouldn’t be able to tell us if he needed to go out.

Alan was still shaking his head, but he didn’t look as determined. Like any good actor, Zeke played the part of the poor lost soul. He sat by my side and tilted his head so he was sort of nuzzling me.

“I love these rugs; I’d hate to have them ruined.”

That did it. Alan held his hand to his forehead and took a deep breath as I rambled on about how hard it is to get pee smell out of carpet.

“Okay, okay, Lex. I can’t believe you want to bring that strange, huge dog into our bedroom. Get his bed and bring him up. But I swear, if he keeps me awake I’ll throw his ass back outside where it belongs.” Alan turned for the stairs so he didn’t see Zeke stand to attention and raise his wrinkly jowls in defiance.

“Shh,” I muttered quietly. “You’re in. Don’t mess it up. Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Alan had already gone ahead, so I added, “Dreamless, I hope.”

Zeke relaxed his stance and rubbed his giant head against my arm. He looked up at me with clear understanding. The knowledge in his eyes was almost disturbing, but it also felt good not to be alone.

As I lay awake beside Alan, I thought of all I’d lost today and tried not to cry. The worst was that I hadn’t had control of my body, and my emotions were not my own. If Ellasar invaded my dreams tonight, I would not let fear and confusion control me. He needed to know that I’m not an easy target. He had shocked me and twisted my emotions because I wasn’t aware. This time it would be different.

Sleep was taking me as I felt Zeke’s big head rest on my hand. As I drifted into unconsciousness, I reached out and hugged him for good luck.

A Speck of Dust

Dreams are impossible to interpret. We’ve all had the “show up at school naked” dream or the “I can fly” dream, but my dreams have become nightmares. There isn’t a scary bad guy, but a handsome devil. He never threatens to hurt me. He doesn’t scare me. He doesn’t embarrass me to death. No, he offers me pleasure unlike anything I’ve ever known. In exchange for what? What can he gain from me? My soul? What’s the going rate for a soul these days? My mind wandered as I lay on the massage table…

Oh, crap! I should be in bed with Alan, but knowing it and willing my body back there are two different things. The hands on my skin are working out the knots in my tense neck and taking me to a place of unconsciousness that borders on meditation.

Soft instrumental music mingles with the sound of ocean waves. The room is warm. Even my toes are warm. This must be heaven, I thought, as the hands moved down my back.