Angela's Hope (Wildflowers) (29 page)

Her tears finally made it through the cold numb facade and once they did, the full flow of emotions rolled through her. Her only living family could not even spend a full day in her presence. She knew she could not embrace her parents again until she was called to heaven but he was here and she was here and… the full impact of his words and actions were not lost on her now. He didn’t want her as a sister.

The thought echoed through her head for the next two days. She talked with Amber and Gabe about it a little. They tried to comfort her but she brushed it off her, like she was just unaffected.

After dinner that first night she said flatly. “I think I need to go back home.”

“I agree that would be best. We will be following you soon after. I do hope you will come and stay with us upon occasion.” Amber said to try and lighten her friend’s mood. It was hard to watch a friend be in pain.

“You know I will gladly.’ Angela tried to smile at Amber with her sad eyes.

The discussions were quickly switched to her return to Oregon. It was the only thing that would engage her besides Silas and his baby antics.

Clive and Gabe had made arrangements for her on the steamship heading to Oregon first; it was later going to Washington. Angela listened with half her attention as they discussed politics and talk of the states and territories of the West. She read the newspapers and knew everything the men talked about, but she just couldn’t find the energy to join in.

After two days of crying herself to sleep she felt a little better. She let Amber into her head a little bit and shared finally everything that Sean had said. Amber, being an empathetic soul cried with her. She held Angela’s hand as they spoke of Oregon and hopeful things. There was nothing much to say when family hurts you.

Angela proclaimed, “God and I have gotten through a lot together. He will get me through this too.” Her brave green eyes showed the wounds, but she knew she was not fully broken.

Amber and Gabe would be following her to Oregon within a few months. The store in Portland was coming together. They would be selling fancy goods. Clive was working with sellers on the east coast, Russia, China, Japan and India so far. The west was going to be settled and Clive knew that people would need more in their homes than just the basics. Portland was a growing town and the port a good one. Everyone was catering his vision and on board with the plan. The San Francisco store was going to get a new manager. A businessman in town wanted to partner with Clive and split the proceeds. The store name would stay the same so he would not lose the loyal customers.

Angela felt relief knowing that Amber and Gabe would be close by once she was back in Oregon. Just the thought of those mountains and being home made her heart feel lighter. She felt like her heart was thin as paper and on the edge of shredding but the word ‘home’ calmed her. She wouldn’t think about the words her brother had said or the rejection now. She would just go home.

Four days after he told her to leave she followed his instructions. She was leaving San Francisco.

Chapter 29

The goodbyes were tearful between Amber and Angela. There were lots of hugs and promises of visits when they got to Oregon. Angela knew her face was blotchy with tears by the time it was her turn to climb aboard the steamboat.. The newest port had allowed for steamboats to get right up to the dock for easier boarding. Angela was thankful for the less humiliating mode of travel. Clive held her arm as they made their way through the crowd. The process was now known to her, she didn’t have the need to see everything aboard like she had the first time she had been on a steamship. Her baggage was handled and her bunk was adequate. She leaned on Clive throughout that evening by the cast iron stove. The nights were cold on the water and the wind whipped around the steamboat as it chugged its way to Oregon. Clive kept her company and was his best amusing self to cheer her. But Angela knew he wasn’t fooled by her pretend smile. Clive was no fool.

She had some bad dreams about the ship sinking, and a few dreams reliving the last day with her brother. Then in one dream it was Ted telling her he never wanted to see her again. She knew her emotions were in shambles and she kept praying and reading the bible Corinne gave her when she couldn’t find sleep.

The days were slow on the rocking ocean and the slow steady numbness led to a lingering melancholy. She pushed the thoughts away as much as she could but they were persistent in creeping back in. She prayed and felt God’s comfort in bits and pieces but she knew she had a lot of questions about what she had done wrong to make her brother want to push her away so emphatically. The answers didn’t come but she knew they would with time. Her brother had been right about something. She needed to go home. Her friends and the mountains were calling her back.

* * * * *

Corinne

Willamette Valley - Oregon

The day had been a tough one for Corinne. A farmer within a mile had had two sheep mauled and eaten the night before. Everyone was on edge and the men were considering keeping a night watch. Putting men on rooftops and lighting torches and lanterns. Every able-bodied man had been put to task on getting all animals to safety within barns or secured areas.

Corinne had sent all her employees home at lunchtime. She promised everyone the full day wage but just felt that everyone would be safer if no one traveled alone at dusk. The situation with the wildcats was feeling chaotic and dangerous.

John Harpole and Cooper stopped by her place to introduce their newest family member, Pepper. The puppy cheered up Corinne immediately.

“I got to name him.” Cooper said proudly.

The small grey and black Aussie shepherd was a bundle of energy. He had one spot of brown over one eye but the rest was black, white and grey spots with speckles.

“He has to be house trained, Papa said, but we will get him trained up in a few days.” Cooper said and sat down on the ground where the puppy romped beneath Corinne’s feet.

“It might take more than a few days, but these are known to be pretty smart.” Corinne said. Then she couldn’t help but giggle as the puppy licked at her outstretched hands. She was sitting on a stool. Kneeling was getting a little too difficult, not the going down part, but the getting back up part. Her new day dress that Marie had made for her had given her more room to move, but it still didn’t take away the achy and sore back.

“This little guy is such a cutie.” Violet declared as she popped out the door.

“His name is Pepper.” Cooper declared again.

“He looks like his name.” Violet grinned and sat right on the ground to get a good look. Pepper was more than willing to pounce on the newcomer.

“How old is he?” Corinne asked.

“Almost nine weeks. Been weaned for weeks.” John said. “I almost brought one home for you. But thought the better of it. If you will be wanting your own we could plan it better and get from a different family. Clive was talking about more Aussie owners last we spoke of it. I can’t remember where he said they were.”

John and Cooper left after a while, the puppy needed to take care of his business and would probably take a nap after all the excitement. Corinne and Violet waited for Lucas to come home in the quiet of the afternoon.

The evening was tense. Lucas went over the plan for the night. He was going to join with the men on the dusk watch. Other men had volunteered to watch throughout the night. If the cats were in the area they wanted to keep them away from homes and the livestock. The wildcats could stay in the mountains, but when they started encroaching in closer to town the danger to human life and helpless livestock had everyone on edge.

Corinne was worried but kept quiet during dinner. Violet and Lucas tried to keep the conversation light. Violet reminded her that Clive had promised to be back on the next steamboat.. Clive always could cheer her up. When he came back from California territory he always had letters from Angela.

Lucas called Corinne to their room after dinner. Once he had her alone he held her close.

“I know you are worried, but I will stay high and safe. I am a good shot and there are lots of good hunters taking this situation seriously. We will catch these cats and take care of the danger. I will be home before midnight.” Lucas held her head against his chest for a few minutes.

“I love you.” Corinne said as he let go.

“And I you.” Lucas kissed her warmly and let her go a minute later.

Corinne followed him out and waved as he headed over to the Harpole’s ranch.

She was comforted knowing he wouldn’t be far away. She said a prayer for him and felt a calm peace fill her. She had to let him be about his work.

Corinne sat with Violet. Violet was crocheting little white booties, and talking about her husband. How many nights she prayed for his safe return. She was waiting for a letter, since he had been gone she had only received one short one after he arrived to Sacramento, he said he was headed to a place near Sutter’s mill named Nugget Creek.. It was a miner’s camp. The information in the letter wasn’t much to go on but she has read the letter so many times it was burned into her memory.

She wanted to keep Corinne calm so she kept talking about anything she could think of; last week’s sermon at church, the coming child, and her own hopes for children.

As darkness fell Corinne felt fatigued but refused to go to her bed. So Violet stayed up with her and once Corinne fell asleep in the chair, Violet covered her and kept her company. Violet was too agitated to sleep. She spent some time in contemplation and talking to God, just praying for the men’s safety and then for her husband who was so far away. He now had been gone longer than they had been together. It only hurt some days. She would try and cheer herself but thinking about their future and perhaps he would come back and they would have enough to start their own farm. But she tried not to dwell too much on those kinds of hopes. Mostly she just wanted him back and safe in her arms.

Violet felt silly, knowing her arms were good for cooking and cleaning, but not for safety. Men were known for their protection, but she was growing more and more dissatisfied with the protection her husband had given her. He had left her with so little to live on. Violet shook off her negative thoughts and then prayed for her to be able to let go of her hurt feelings. She let her mind dwell on forgiveness again and then said another prayer for her husband’s safety.

The clock on the wall said it was 12:10 when the front door opened. Lucas looked tired but all in one piece.

He gently woke his wife and told her and Violet that the watch had been uneventful. Everyone in the valley was notified of what to do if a wildcat was spotted. If a cat was shot it was a different code. A certain number of shots in the air, he said.

Everyone was very tired. Violet helped Corinne into bed while Lucas locked up the cabin. He secured his rifle by the door and made sure every window was closed and secure.

Corinne was asleep when he got to the bedroom. Violet had laid out Corinne’s robe nearby should she need to get up for any reason.

Violet must already be in her rooms.
Lucas thought with a thankful heart. Having Violet here was such a blessing. He hoped that she was happy here.

Lucas said his prayers as he held his wife close. Her deep breathing assured him that she was getting a good rest. He fell asleep quickly.

* * * * *

The sound was a crackling sound, like far off thunder. Corinne thought through a hazy, sleepy brain. Without opening her eyes she could tell her husband laid next to her, his warmth comforted her. She wanted to drift back into sleep but the pain in her lower back was pushing her toward wakefulness. She tried to will herself back into slumber. She tried to clear her mind of everything and just focused on breathing, in and out, slowly. She was unaware she finally fell back into a mild sleep.

Within a few minutes another sound woke her, fully. A cracking sound that pierced the air. Then a scream and another, not human, like a roaring thunderous scream. Then she heard a gunshot.. The hideous growling screech again pierced the air. It was close!

Corinne sat up straight in bed, fear pumping through her as her brain deciphered the sounds. The wildcats! They were near.

Lucas was fumbling next to her in the darkness. She heard the distinct sound of a match scratching across a matchbox. The lamp next to Lucas’s side of the bed came to life. Corinne saw the weary look in Lucas’s eyes, and also the fear.

“The wildcats, I think they were near, dear God.” Corinne said. Her heart praying for her father’s family, the men on watch, so many prayers in a split second.

“Cori…” Lucas looked at her and his eyes grew round in horror.

Corinne followed his eyes to her lap and saw the quilt soak through with blood. For a moment she was confused – had she been shot?

“Oh no, darling.” Lucas grabbed her hand but she pulled it away so she could shove the blankets away. The proof was covering her.

“The baby!” Was all Corinne could say in a ragged whisper and then the onslaught of emotions forced her to reality. She had lost her child in the night.

She didn’t know she was weeping against her husband’s chest. She became aware of it after a few minutes. She felt out of control. The horror and the loss were too big to swallow so she just sobbed. It was all she could do.

* * * * *

“Violet, can you stay with her?” Lucas asked in a ragged and harsh whisper. Corinne was shaking and holding her pillow. She was gulping and breathing trying to calm herself. It had only been a few minutes, right? Since the wild cats screaming and the gunshots, and the blood.

Corinne was still in bed. She didn’t know if she should stay or move. The sticky warm blood on her legs was making her very uncomfortable but she felt frozen.

“Lucas, you cannot go out, it isn’t safe.” Corinne came out of her stupor to realize her husband meant to leave. There were dangers out there in the dark. “NO!” She yelled. She was nearly back to feeling out of control again.

“The shots signaling the all clear were sounded. I will check on the status of the danger first. Then go for Doc Williams. I promise I will not be long. Violet will get you to a spare bed and help you.” Lucas kissed her hand.

“Please, please don’t go. Lucas, I cannot lose you too.” Corinne began a fresh round of weeping. She was overwhelmed with so much going through her mind and body, pain, and exhaustion and a deep, deep ache.

“Let me help you first then.” Lucas helped Corinne to stand, she still was crying but the sobs had stopped.

Violet took charge and the gown was off in a second. Violet somehow had gotten warm water around and with quick hand had cleaned away some the blood. A fresh gown was over Corinne’s head within a few minutes. She had towels down and the quilt pulled back in a guest bedroom. Corinne wordlessly allowed Lucas and Violet to tuck her in. Violet sat on the edge on the bed and stroked her hand as Lucas grabbed a rocking chair from their bedroom. He placed it near the bed and Violet stood up.

Lucas spoke to Violet in whispered tones; Corinne paid little attention, her mind on the bed in the other room. The scene was replaying over and over in her head. She had lost her child.

Violet was gone only a minute and back with a cup of tea that she sat on the side table.

“It’s a little too hot.” Violet said.

“Thank you.” Corinne said in a whisper. She was numb.

Lucas kissed her forehead and said he loved her.

“I will be back very soon.”

“I am so sorry Lucas.” Corinne finally said.

“Hush now. You can rest. Violet is with you. She will take care of you.” Lucas had a mist of unshed tears in his eyes and left quickly.

* * * * *

Lucas grabbed the rifle at the door and closed it behind him. The pain in his chest was real. He had never hurt like this in his life. The deepest dark hot pain spread through his guts and wanted to split him into pieces.

The last hour was a blur, the shots, the screaming of the cats then the horror of Corinne, all that blood. He had to know if he was safe to go to town. His feet ran the distance to John Harpole’s place.