Angel Unaware (28 page)

Dora. Dora had sneaked under his skin and relentlessly wormed her way past the icy wall he’d erected around his feelings. He was hopelessly and helplessly in love with Dora DeAngelo.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked, titling her head so a swath of dark hair fell over her cheek.

“Thank you,” he said simply. Dora frowned. “For what?”

“For being there when I needed you.” His hoarse voice was barely above a whisper. “For helping me through the custody mess with Lisa. For taking such good care of Penny. For—” The pressure of her fingertips sealing his lips stopped any more of what he would have said.

As though a hand had reached into her chest and squeezed it tightly in its strong fingers, Dora’s heart fought to beat. The love she’d felt for this man for so long welled up inside her wanting to break free, but she couldn’t allow it. She could not start something she knew had no hope of a future. She would not give Tony false hope.

“There’s no need for thanks.” She removed her fingers from his mouth, the tips suddenly feeling as though they’d caught fire. “It’s my job.” The words were out before she thought about what they might imply. But not knowing who she really was, their underlying truth went right past him.

Tony shook his head. “No, I hired you to take care of the house and Penny. You’ve gone way beyond what I pay you for. You’ve given both of us a new life. You’ve made me see that love is not something to be avoided, that it’s a wonderful emotion that fills your heart and your life with meaning and purpose. You made me understand that no matter how much I wanted to stand alone, you and Penny were always there, always ready to be in my corner, even when I didn’t want you there.”

Dora ducked her head and squeezed her eyes shut. If he kept talking like this, she would find it impossible to conceal what lay hidden from him in her heart. That she loved him beyond any emotion she had ever experienced before. That everything she’d ever dreamed of having and being lay just beyond her fingertips and she couldn’t reach out for it. That leaving him and Penny would be like dying.

Then he touched her. His warm fingers cupped her chin, and she felt him pressing them upward until he lifted her face so her gaze was even with his. His dark eyes bore into her, and what she saw there should have thrilled her. Instead it brought heavy regret to her already-aching heart. Then he said the words that tore holes in her soul.

“I love you, Dora. I want you to be here always with me and Penny.”

Such a simple declaration and one that brought a surge of joy rushing through her, but one that also ripped Dora’s heart to shreds. If only she could stay. If only she could love him freely and without fear of having to leave. If only …

She closed her eyes, unable to stand seeing the love shining in his. How could she tell him she loved him, too; but that theirs was a love that would be denied and there was absolutely nothing either of them could do to prevent it from happening?

“Look at me,” he urged.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and did as he asked. “Don’t you have anything to say?”

She had plenty she could say, but it was not what he wanted to hear. Her heart broke wide open in her chest. Despite the fire’s glow, the room dimmed, and a chill seeped into it, filling all the formerly warm corners with icy cold sadness.

When she didn’t answer, he stood and walked to one of the large bay windows. For a long time, he stared out into the inky, dark night. Then he made a sound that should have been laughter, but sounded more the cry of a wounded man. “I guess I took too much for granted. I figured if I loved you that you must love me, too.”

She sprang to her feet. “No, that’s not it at all. I do lo—” She bit back the rest of the word. But too late. Tony had caught her words and completed the thought.

He spun to face her, his expression filled with hope. “You do love me, too.”

Quickly, she looked away, hoping to conceal the truth from him. “That’s … that’s not what I said.”

“But it’s what you were going to say, isn’t it?” He came to her and took her shoulders in his hands. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me. Do that and I promise I’ll walk away, and we’ll never talk about it again.”

Dora looked up at him. Everything inside her urged her to lie to him, for his own good. For Penny’s good. For their good. A tug of war went on inside her. Tell him. Don’t tell him. The longer she gazed at him, the harder it was to hold her tongue, to hold back the truth of her feelings.

All she had to do to stop this was to tell him a lie. She’d never lied to anyone before. It just wasn’t part of who she was. And she couldn’t start. She just could not tell him she didn’t love him. But she couldn’t tell him she did, either.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jack slip into the room. He sat at the side of the sofa and stared at her with unrelenting, judgmental black eyes, telling her without words that she could not admit to the emotional attachment she’d formed for Tony.

Tony caught the direction of her stare. “Damned dog!” he said and released her shoulders. He walked to the dog, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, and pulled Jack with him out of the room. Dora heard the slam of the laundry room door.

She collapsed onto the sofa and gathered her mental strength for Tony’s return.

A few moments later he came back into the room. Sitting beside her, he swiveled to face her. “Well? Can you tell me you don’t love me?”

She raised her gaze to his. Instantly, she knew what she had to do.

CHAPTER 22

Taking a deep breath, Dora looked him in the eye. “No, I can’t tell you I don’t love you.” A broad smile split his face. “But it doesn’t change anything. As much as I want to, I
can’t
love you.”

His smile died as quickly as it had been given birth. “What do you mean you can’t? There’s not a thing in this world to stop you,” he said, attempting to pull her into his arms.

No, not in this world
. Dora pulled away. “Tony, this is much more complicated than you know.”

“Then explain it to me. Make me understand.” “Even if I do, it won’t change anything.”

“Tell me. Let me be the judge.”

She sighed, resigned to what she’d have to do. She gazed deep into his dark eyes. When he would have gathered her in his arms again, she moved away. “No. If you touch me, I won’t be able to say what I have to say.” From the laundry room came the sounds of Jack clawing at the door to get out. She knew why. Calvin had read her thoughts, and he knew what she was about to do and he strongly disapproved. As if confirming her suspicions, Calvin’s voice inserted itself in her mind.

Don’t do this, Dora. Think what it will mean for you, for me. The Council will never forgive you. All hope of promotion will be lost. You’ve done what you came here to do. These humans are well on the road to a happy life. Your mission is complete. Telling him will only make it harder for him. For all of us
.

Dora closed her mind to Calvin’s warnings. For once, she didn’t care that Calvin disapproved. For once, she was going to do what she knew she must to make this as easy on Tony as possible, and Calvin be damned, her future up there be damned. If she spent all of eternity sharpening lightning bolts, then so be it. At least, even if it didn’t ease his pain, at least Tony would never wonder why she had walked away from a future with him.

She took a deep breath. “Tony, I didn’t just happen to show up on your doorstep. I was sent here.”

He nodded. “I know, by the agency. I asked them to send someone.”

She shook her head and stared blankly at her clenched hands. She wanted to look into Tony’s beautiful dark eyes, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it, couldn’t stand to see the pain her words would bring.

“No, I wasn’t sent by any agency,” she finally said, her voice so subdued even she could barely hear it. Forcing her gaze to meet his, she said, “I was sent by someone else.”

Confusion marred his handsome face. “I don’t understand. Who else could have sent you? I only applied to the Angel Guardians Agency.”

Dora looked at the ceiling.

He raised his face to follow her gaze. “Penny?” he asked, confusion coloring his voice even more.

“No, not Penny.”

Dora sighed. This was much harder than she’d expected it to be. She’d always believed that, if she had to tell Tony where she came from, she could just tell him the facts. But when she’d imagined having to reveal her true identity, she didn’t know Tony loved her. Now it had become difficult. But not impossible.

Finally, she knew what she would have to do. Simply telling a mortal you were an angel wouldn’t do it.

She would have to
show
him the truth of who she was.

Millie laid down the green and yellow afghan she’d been knitting for Penny’s bed and gazed off into space.

Her husband glanced at her and frowned. He knew that look; he’d seen it innumerable times before. “What is it, Mil?”

“I have a feeling something’s gonna happen.” During their many years of marriage, Preston had been privy to his wife’s
feelings
, and he’d never known her to be wrong. She had some sixth sense and though he had no idea what it was, he trusted it implicitly. He put aside his newspaper and waited for an explanation. “What kind of something, dear?”

She blinked, as though coming out of a dream. “I don’t know. I only know that, when it does, nothing will ever be the same again for any of us.”

Preston tilted his head. “That sounds kind of ominous, Millie.”

She smiled wistfully at him. “I know, but I can’t tell if it’s good or bad, just that it will happen and soon.” She smoothed her hand over the afghan. “I just hope that whatever it is, it’s not going to disrupt that poor little girl’s life again.” She stood. “I’m going to make myself some tea. Would you like some?”

“Please.”

She started toward the kitchen, then stopped and turned back. “Preston, how would you like to have a child?”

Dora took Tony’s hand and led him from the living room, into the hall, and up the stairs.

“Where are we going?”

She glanced over her shoulder. “For you to really understand this, words won’t be enough. I have to show you something.”

When she stopped outside her bedroom door, she heard Tony gasp. “In there?” He nodded at the closed door. “Yes.”

He peered over her shoulder at the closed door. “You don’t have a wedding band stashed in a box in there, do you? Are you already married?”

Dora gave a halfhearted laugh. “No, nothing like that.” Opening the door, she tried hard not to think about the fact that she was about to violate yet one more condition of her trip to Earth. Besides, she’d already violated so many, surely one more wouldn’t matter all that much. From downstairs came the sounds of a dog whining and scratching frantically at a door.

She shut it out, but not before making a mental note that when the time came, and it would, she’d make it clear to the Heavenly Council that Calvin was entirely innocent of transgressions she had committed while in mortal form. He should not have to suffer consequences because of her choices. Keeping her in line had always been his priority, and he’d worked very hard to make sure that happened. Due to her actions and no one else’s, it just hadn’t worked out that way.

The animal sounds coming from downstairs ceased. The house became as quiet as a tomb. As if it were holding its breath, waiting for the next moments to tick by.

Tony followed her into the bedroom. But before she could do what she’d gone there to do, he grabbed her arm, swung her around, and pulled her into his embrace. “If what you’re going to show me is going to do anything to make it impossible for us, I don’t want to see it.” She opened her mouth, but he shushed her with a look. “I love you, and nothing in Heaven or on Earth can stop that.” He cradled her against his broad chest.

How desperately she wished it were true.  How she wished she could simply surrender to the emotions running rampant through her. For just a moment she allowed herself the luxury of imagining what it would be like to fall asleep in Tony’s arms each night and wake in them every morning. What it would be like to know she’d be here when Penny grew up and got married and had babies of her own. What it would be like to grow old beside the man she loved.

It amazed her that the sound of her heart breaking into a million pieces could not be heard.

Tony tilted her head back. “If it’s another man, then he should know I will not let you go without a fight.”

“It’s not another man, either.”

Tony frowned. “I’m running out of options. Of course, there is always this.” Then he lowered his lips to hers.

A mixture of an intense awareness of life, of every pore in her skin, of every hair on her head, of every beat of her heart, surged through Dora. Left with no choice, she might have to give up everything she’d come to hold dear, but she would not give this up. She would kiss Tony as though it were the last kiss they’d share, because, in truth, it would be. The memory of his lips gently caressing hers would be locked in her mind for eternity, and on those days when she couldn’t bear the loneliness any longer, she’d take it out and absorb the love.