Angel Unaware (22 page)

Then out of nowhere and for the first time in his life, he experienced an unsettling wave of what Rosalie used to call déjà vu. A long-forgotten memory of having sat like this before, but with Rosalie, emerged. As though in answer to his plea for Guardian Angel intervention, instantly he knew what to do.

“Millie, I have a craving for some chocolate ice cream.” Obviously perplexed, Millie looked at Dora, then back to Tony. “Uh …I think I have some. Let me take a look.” She checked the freezer. “All I have is strawberry. Will that be okay?”

Tony grinned at his niece. “Even better. That’s Penny’s favorite.” He winked at the little girl, then turned to Millie. “Would you mind spooning out a dish for each of us?”

“Sure.” Her face still showing her puzzlement, she pulled dishes from the cabinet. After scooping the ice cream into two dishes, Millie set them in front of Tony and Penny and gave each of them a spoon, her brow still creased with unanswered questions about his need for ice cream in the middle of a family crisis on a cold winter’s night. But she wisely held her tongue and waited.

“Thanks, Millie.” He picked up a spoon, scooped out some ice cream, and put it in his mouth. “Mmm.” He pointed his spoon at Penny’s untouched dish. “Go ahead. Eat up. Everything always looks better after a big bowl of ice cream.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Millie and Dora studying them, puzzled frowns still knitting their foreheads.

“You know, Penny, when I was about nine, my friends and I decided to play a game of catch in the neighbor’s yard. Our ball got stuck in a tree, and we couldn’t get it down.” He took another spoonful of ice cream and savored the icy coolness running down his dry throat before he spoke again. “We decided that if we threw something at it, we could make it fall out of the tree. We tried throwing rocks and boards and other balls, but nothing worked. The darn ball was just plain stuck.”

“How did you get it down?” Penny asked timidly. Silently congratulating himself that Penny had at least started looking at him, he continued. “Well, I found a rock. A really big rock that I was sure would get the ball out. So I gathered all my strength and threw it as hard as I could.”

“Did it come out?” Penny picked up the spoon and took a taste of the ice cream.

Millie punched the air and grinned at Dora, then flung her arm around her and gave her shoulders a squeeze.

“Oh, yes, the ball came down. The problem was, the rock bounced off the ball and went right through our neighbor’s window.”

Penny’s mouth opened in a wide, surprised
O
.

“What did you do?”

“I ran. So did all my friends. We all met at my house and made a pact that we wouldn’t tell who broke the window.”

“But that wasn’t being honest.”

“You’re exactly right,” Tony said, pointing at Penny with his spoon. “It was not honest. Deep down inside, I knew I should admit what I’d done and pay for the window, but I was afraid of getting in trouble. So I kept quiet. But the problem was, it really, really bothered me, and before long, because I felt so guilty, I got cranky and started losing my temper. I was worried all the time that your mom would guess what I’d done. Pretty soon, I couldn’t think about anything else.” He leaned closer and whispered, “I even thought about running away, but I was too afraid.”

She looked at him, aghast. “You were afraid?” Getting a jolt of happiness from the fact she didn’t think he could be afraid of anything, he nodded. “Scared to death. You’re much braver than I was.”

Penny lowered her gaze to her dish. “But I only ran next door.”

“I didn’t even do
that
,” Tony said, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “Did you ever tell?”

Tony nodded. “Your mom guessed that I’d broken the window because of the way I was acting, so she called me inside, sat me down at the table, got us each a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and we talked about it. I had to pay for the window, but because I finally told, I felt so much better.”

Penny glanced at Millie and Dora, then at Tony. She laid her spoon down and leaned back.

“Maybe, if you tell me why you ran away, we can fix whatever it was that made you do it. I promise you’ll feel better, too.”

For a long time, Penny studied her hands. Finally, she looked at Tony. “I heard what you told Dora about me causing trouble and that you didn’t want me in your house anymore.”

Millie gasped and started to speak, but Dora shook her head and silenced her.

Tony felt as though a ten-ton truck had run full force into his chest. Pain radiated out from his aching heart. His throat filled with emotion.

He couldn’t even come close to understanding the feelings of abandonment that must have driven Penny from her warm house into the winter night. Why hadn’t he been more careful and kept his voice down?

He rose and walked around the table, reached down, lifted Penny into his arms, and hugged her close. She snaked her little arms around his neck and hid her face against his shoulder. Unable to speak, he stood for the longest time, holding her close, searching for the words to erase her pain. He clenched his teeth against the painful rush of renewed emotions sweeping through him.

Over Penny’s head, he caught Dora staring at them and saw her almost-imperceptible nod.

Tell her
, she mouthed.

Tony knew exactly what Dora wanted him to tell Penny, but the words lay trapped in that dark, ugly place deep inside him, hidden from the light of day behind a protective wall. As long as they stayed there, he’d never again have to endure the pain of losing a loved one.

Instead, he set Penny back in her chair and squatted in front of her. Taking her hands, he said, “Honey, I wasn’t talking about you. I would never want you to leave our house, to leave me. You’re my niece. Why would you think such a thing?”

Once more Penny avoided eye contact. She fidgeted with the hem of her sweater, and then took a deep, ragged breath. “Because you hate me.”

CHAPTER 17

For a moment, Tony couldn’t speak. He hated her? Surely he had heard wrong. His gut, however, told him he hadn’t. For some reason, known only to her, this beautiful little girl thought he hated her.

Speechless, he glanced at Dora and Millie, whose faces told him they were equally taken aback. Before he could form the words to deny it, Penny began to cry in great wrenching, heartbreaking sobs.

“I … I’m s … so … s … sorry, Uncle T … Tony. I'd … didn’t … m … mean for it to h … happen.”

“For what to happen, sweetheart?” He’d never felt so powerless in his life. He could order around a crew of big, tough construction workers, but he couldn’t get a little girl to stop crying.

Confused about how to handle the situation, he looked to Dora for help.

Dora went to him. “Don’t ask questions. She’s tired, and questioning her will only upset her more. Just pick her up, and we’ll take her next door and put her to bed.” He glanced at Millie as though unsure if this was the best course of action, and Millie smiled her approval. “Take her home. The poor baby is exhausted. Tomorrow’s soon enough to talk about this.”

Tony nodded and picked Penny up. Her sobs slowly subsided to intermittent hiccups. She again put her arms around his neck, buried her face in his shoulder, and finally closed her eyes.

“She’s asleep,” Dora announced as she entered the living room, where Tony sat staring blankly at the Christmas tree. Jack lay curled at his feet, appraising Tony with his expressive dark eyes. “Poor thing was absolutely wiped out. She never even stirred when I took off her clothes.” She sat next to Tony on the couch and laced her fingers with his. “You okay?”

As if rousing from a dream, he blinked and turned to her. “I’m lost. Why would she think I hate her? I’ve gone through everything that’s happened since the funeral, and I can’t think of anything I’ve said or done to make her think that.”

For someone on the outside looking in, the answer was so simple. But for Tony, who was far too close to the problem, finding the answer was the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. Perhaps just a nudge. Dora tightened her fingers. “Maybe it’s something you
haven’t
said or done.”

“Well, that’s a lot of help, Dora.” He wrenched his hand free from hers, stood, and began covering the same stretch of floor from the tree to the door that he’d traveled while they’d waited for the police. “Seeing as how I came into this situation without a clue, I’m sure there’s a whole bunch of things I haven’t said or done. Could you be a bit more specific?”

Knowing he needed to find it out for himself, Dora remained silent. That Tony loved Penny was perfectly obvious to Dora. However, the loss of the people she loved and who had unconditionally loved her had left Penny on the same rocky ground as Tony. She needed the reinforcement of words.

The question was, would Tony ever realize that on his own? And could Penny wait for him to come around?

Tony felt he was protecting himself by holding back the words that would put Penny’s mind at ease. The problem was that Penny needed the reassurance of hearing him say that he loved her.

The seemingly insurmountable dilemma made her head spin. If Dora told him why Penny felt he hated her, perhaps they could get on with the healing process for both of them. However, just mouthing the words wasn’t enough. Tony had to open his heart to this insecure little girl.

Just then Jack growled low in his throat, drawing Dora’s attention away from Tony’s pacing. The dog lying at her feet had his dark, censuring gaze fixed on her.

No longer willing to chalk it up to coincidence that the dog inserted his canine opinions into the conversation, or himself between her and Tony at critical moments, Dora glared at him.

Calvin, is that you
?

Silence.

Okay. You’re leaving me no choice. I knew you were masquerading as Jack, and I told Gracie. I’ll ask her to go to the Heavenly Council and have you recalled. You know Michael is particularly fond of Gracie, so he’ll do it. Michael will make sure the Council knows, too. Try explaining your way out of that
.

Truth be known, she hadn’t actually been positive that Jack was Calvin. It was more of a hunch, but he didn’t have to know that, and with any luck, she’d be forgiven the small white lie when she reported back.

Jack jumped to the couch, sat beside her, and poked her arm with his nose.
You win. It’s me. Happy
?
His ears perked up. You have more important things to think about than the fact that I’m a dog. If you’re thinking of telling Tony why Penny hates him, don’t. It’s critical to your success that he figures it out on his own
.

I wasn’t going to, and I already realize it’s something he has to discover by himself
. She cleared her throat.
As for you … Jack
. She lowered another dark glare on him.
We’ll talk about this later. Count on it. Now, get out of here, and let me concentrate on helping Tony and Penny
.

Calvin’s … Jack’s ears laid back. He barked sharply and jumped down. With a toss of his head, he walked out of the room.

“Could you forget about that mutt for a minute and help me figure out what’s wrong with Penny?”

As Jack disappeared up the stairs, Dora swung guiltily toward Tony. “Sorry.” She stood. “Why don’t I make some coffee? It appears it’s going to be a long night.”
In more ways than one
, she added silently.

He nodded. That tempting lock of hair fell onto his forehead. Dora curled her fingers against her palm to resist the temptation to brush it back and assure him that everything would be okay.

His lips twisted into a half smile. “How about a stiff drink instead?”

She frowned.

“Okay. Coffee.”

As she walked down the hall to the kitchen, the warmth radiating over her back told her Tony had followed close behind.

He slumped into a kitchen chair and rested his elbows on the table. “I’ve racked my brain, and I can’t figure out why she says I hate her.”

Dora abruptly stopped pouring water into the coffee- pot. “Then maybe you need to ask her. By morning she should be in a better frame of mind to talk about it.”

“He’s doing what?” Gracie’s eyes grew large and her mouth set in straight line of disapproval. As her agitation at the news of Calvin’s masquerade grew, her wings beat faster, and the clouds swirled angrily behind her. “The Heavenly Council needs to know about this.”

Dora sprang from the edge of the bed toward the mirror. “No, please. Don’t say anything. They’ll recall him, and then what will Penny do? She’ll be heartbroken if Jack leaves, and she’s lost too much already. I have to figure out how he can go back and not hurt Penny.”

Gracie considered Dora’s request for a time. “You have enough on your mind. Leave this to me. I’m sure if I put my head together with some other angels, we can find a solution.”

Gratitude washed over Dora. She had no desire to get Calvin in trouble, just to save Penny’s heart from more pain. “Thanks, Gracie. I owe you one.”